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  • Setting Intentions and How to Manifest Your Deepest Desires

    Setting Intentions and How to Manifest Your Deepest Desires

    If you want to be successful at anything, whether it’s being a more relaxed parent, quitting smoking, or running a marathon, setting an intention—and then concentrating on it mindfully—will give you the focus to help turn your dream into reality. Our culture often uses the terms goal and intention interchangeably. But they actually aren’t the same. In reality, intentions are the things that should be leading the way, and that’s why it’s essential that when you’re setting intentions, you’re aligned with your deepest, truest self.

    Intentions help you stay oriented toward your goal when strong emotions, exhaustion, boredom, or distraction threaten to throw you off course. Intentions connect deeply to your true heart’s desire, to what really matters to you, and use that rudder to set your course forward. 

    An intention isn’t a wish or a fantasy. It isn’t a proclamation of who or how you think you should be. It comes from truly listening to what’s important for you to feel most alive and, well, yourself. 

    Not an intention: I want to lose 25 pounds and fit into my old jeans. 

    Intention: I am listening deeply to my body’s desire to be healthy and active, and my heart’s desire to feel vibrant and whole. 

    We offer ourselves the greatest potential for easing our own suffering.

    Here’s where mindfulness plays an essential role. When we take the time to tune into ourselves, to learn our inner landscape, it’s easier to discern our truth from fantasy. It’s like when you investigate a sudden craving. Is it that your body needs chips right this minute to function, or are you looking for a distraction (a crunchy, salty, flavor-bomb of one) while you nervously await word from your publisher about your manuscript?

    Perhaps what you really want is to have fulfilling, creative, intellectually stimulating work, own a home you love, where friends and family will come to visit and where you have a place to garden, or learn to manage your stress better, and feel more grounded and happy. 

    From this place of deep knowing, you can craft a plan to achieve what you’ve identified. And when you veer off track—you’re tempted by the mind-numbing job because you’re scared no one else will hire you; you contemplate spending all your savings on a trip to Paris; or find yourself (again) stress-eating at 9 p.m.—you have something real and true to anchor you.  

    Saying Yes to Commitment

    Change isn’t easy. But it’s often exactly what’s needed. Knowing what really matters to us, and setting an intention that helps create the circumstances for that desire to flourish, also makes it far easier to commit to changing behavior or habits that keep us from our goal. 

    After mindfully reflecting on my experience with my stepdaughter, I realized that my deepest desire was to have a warmer relationship with her. I set the intention to be loving and warm toward her, as I am with other people I care deeply for. On a recent visit, when I felt myself becoming cranky and brittle, I recalled my intention. In an instant, I saw the extraneous stuff that wasn’t contributing to greater love or warmth but instead lessening my resolve to keep my intention. I recommitted to what I really wanted, not to the random thoughts and feelings that were triggered by, say, my low blood sugar or my petulance. And because it mattered—this is how I want to live—that commitment felt invigorating, and was easy. The rest of the day went beautifully.  

    Two things here speak to the power of intention: When you know what’s important to you, and you intend to honor that, your intention is an alarm that goes off when you forget what really matters. Then you can choose to chart a different way forward.  

    Saying No to Resolutions

    You may want to lose weight, get your real estate license, or be a better listener—but if you don’t know why you want this, you will quickly lose motivation and fall back into your old habits. However, discomfort and resistance are no longer insurmountable obstacles when we know what we really want and recommit to it again and again.

    I’ve never been able to diet. But I have managed to control my diabetes by setting the intention to stay alive through changing the way I eat. I tell people, “I’m not on a diet. I just don’t want to die-yet.” Once I focused on my intention of staying alive, eating healthfully was a breeze. 

    Intention can also, simply, help you align your values with the way you live your life, in ways big and small. Without it, life can feel a bit like a pinball machine, slinging you about, miserable, confused, never satisfied with what you have because you don’t know what you really want. In this way, intention becomes less about making wishes come true; it’s really about honoring who you are. 



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  • Bring Your Practice to Digital Work

    Bring Your Practice to Digital Work

    I’m fascinated by technology, yet I yearn for a calm, peaceful life. This dual interest led me to draw insights from both camps and experiment with a mindful way of being with tech, not against it. For my entire adult life, I’ve been trying to figure out how to live mindfully and love technology at the same time.

    This has been a very personal journey, but a big part of it is professional, too. I love sitting in silence when I can, but I’m also a tech designer and entrepreneur. I lead a fractional product team creating mindfulness-related technologies remotely from a laptop, so I know the struggle of finding balance with tech more than most. 

    It’s not easy to do your best work, think deeply, and be creative in this attention economy. 

    It’s not easy to do your best work, think deeply, and be creative in this attention economy. It’s even harder to stay grounded when the pressure is high and you’re swimming in emails, notifications, and demands. Here are a few of my favorite tips to mindfully fine-tune the ways you engage with tech at work. 

    1. Redesign Your Work Environment

    Recently, I had a big project that demanded a lot of focus. It was hard to even imagine, knowing all the requests that pull at my attention on any given workday. I reduced the burden on my willpower by installing my second computer monitor on a swivel and putting a big, comfy chair on the other side of my desk. 

    Now, whenever I need to focus on something (including as I type these words), I rotate my second monitor to face backward with nothing else visible. I sit on the wrong side of my desk and type on a wireless keyboard with no trackpad. I can’t reach my email, social media, and web browser. And they can’t reach me. 

    Those who create tech aren’t the only ones who can leverage the power of design. My physical setup provides me with the constraint I need to get into a flow without too much effort. I couldn’t redesign the operating system, but I did redesign the room in which it operates.

    This mindset also helps me park my phone outside of work hours. When I’m at home with my family, I try to leave it charging on my desk as much as possible. If I want to check something, I’m forced to politely excuse myself and walk over to my desk. Less convenient, but just enough friction to prevent me from habitually reaching for Slack or my work email while my six-year-old is trying to play with me.

    2. Be Intentional With Email 

    When I start my workday, the first thing on my calendar is a block of time to clear my inbox. I do this for a few important reasons.

    First, I don’t have work email on my phone, so I don’t see messages in the evening or early morning and feel like I need to catch up. On top of that, I like taking time to respond thoughtfully to people to prevent downstream conflicts and miscommunications. I even try to include something in every message that might make the receiver smile.

    Mindfully noticing patterns in how tech influences your state of mind will help you make similar skillful adjustments to accommodate your unique habits and idiosyncrasies.

    At the end of the day, I check my email one last time, but I try not to send any replies. If I do, I’ll ruminate on whatever I sent and compulsively check for replies in the evening. And if I actually get a reply in the evening, instead of satisfying me, it usually ends up with me sneaking back into my office late at night to follow up.

    This tip isn’t necessarily for everyone; it’s a nuance I’ve discovered about myself. Mindfully noticing patterns in how tech influences your state of mind will help you make similar skillful adjustments to accommodate your unique habits and idiosyncrasies.

    3. Reject False Urgency 

    Across both personal and professional information channels, there’s one destructive illusion that makes tech way more stressful than it needs to be: false urgency. Work messaging becomes much saner when you customize it to present with an appropriate level of urgency for the information being conveyed.

    Consider how urgent your current settings are, compared to how urgent they need to be.

    For email, team messaging, calendar alerts, project notifications, or any other information channels, you can consider how urgent your current settings are compared to how urgent they need to be. An alert on your phone notifying you that a critical system just failed makes sense. That same alert is unnecessary for a random email that can easily wait until tomorrow.

    It also helps to manage urgency with your team. At Still Ape, we have a communications charter that describes how urgently we expect each other to reply: Emails warrant a response within two days, work messaging within one day, a text within a few hours, and calls immediately. When we tag someone in a document, we don’t expect them to see it until they’re actively in the file. Not only does our charter protect receivers’ attention, it also prevents senders from anxiously waiting for immediate replies on a non-immediate channel.

    If you’ve been frantically refreshing your inbox, it might feel pretty uncomfortable to slow down. It’ll get easier as you form new habits and your team builds new expectations. Rejecting false urgency frees up a lot of mental energy for focus, creativity, deep thinking, and effective collaboration. 

    4. Use AI Wisely

    You can use AI apps to gather and assemble ideas quickly, but at least for now, you need to pause to verify facts, trim the excess, and edit for clarity and authenticity. For many tasks, AI is more like cruise control than autopilot; you still need to steer.

    By now you’ve probably seen an AI agent join a video call, listen to an entire meeting, and then email everyone an immediate summary. But did you actually read the summary? Probably not, unless a human being who understood the full context edited it down to what actually matters.

    Things are evolving quickly in this space, but as a rule, I recommend making sure it doesn’t take you less time to create something than it will for others to engage with it. If it does, respect your recipient’s attention by spending a bit more time reading it and refining it yourself. Something feels off about having ChatGPT whip up a 10-page report in two minutes and expecting others to read it in-depth when you didn’t even bother.

    Your work might look very different from these examples. It’s all good. People are diverse, and things change over time. What matters is that a mindful relationship with technology is all about paying close attention to how different tech affects you and using that insight to fearlessly experiment in your own life.

    Excerpt from Reclaim Your Mind: Seven Strategies to Enjoy Tech Mindfully by Jay Vidyarthi, published by Still Ape Press. Copyright © 2025 by Jay Vidyarthi. 



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  • Tap Into Ease with This Guided Meditation for Holiday Stress

    Tap Into Ease with This Guided Meditation for Holiday Stress

    Get the latest on everything mindfulness

    Our free newsletter delivers updates on the science of mindfulness, guided mindfulness meditation practices from leading teachers, special offers, and rich content to support your mindful growth.


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  • Alive, Together – Mindful

    Alive, Together – Mindful

    A letter from Mindful Magazine’s 2026 Editor, Amber Tucker.

    I read a quote recently that spoke to me, and to a key idea in this edition of Mindful: “We do not have to live as if we are alone.” (That’s writer and environmentalist Wendell Berry, quoted in writer and teacher Sebene Selassie’s Substack newsletter, Remind Me to Love.) I know I’m not the only person who feels alone, sometimes, in long hours hunkered over a desk, grasping for a sense of gosh-darn interconnectedness.

    At the same time, making a magazine is an inherently (and at the best of times, a joyfully) collaborative endeavor. Countless tiny yet critical steps involving dozens, even hundreds of people around the world, all counting on one another’s skills, knowledge, and dedication. Having worked at Mindful for more than seven years, I remain in awe of the ecosystem that brought into being the Trust Yourself issue you’re reading now.

    Like a healthy relationship, a meaningful project requires trust in others, and trust in ourselves. There’s a generative power in that. Trust that we’re more resilient than the sore back or disgruntled thoughts or horrific headlines or aching heart that may, right now, be overwhelming. Remember that we’re in this together, our feet planted firmly. As meditation teacher and author Kimberly Brown says, in Stephanie Domet’s article: “It does take time to become intimate with your body and your mind and become friendly with it. But when you can let yourself become familiar, then you can also start to trust.”

    The stories in these pages explore trust from numerous angles. Sue Hutton shares science-backed strategies to honor your unique brain wiring, while Misty Pratt investigates why the brain craves certainty and how to lessen anxiety about the unknown. Mara Gulens reckons with the grief of a changing body—maybe an unexpected path to wholeness. Sharon Ross extols the art of a simple invitation to help us break through loneliness and nurture community. And if you’re ready for a fresh start with mindfulness (at any age or experience level), turn to page 12 for a week’s worth of audio meditations, and to page 75 for a guide to your own daily practice: essential to becoming more familiar and friendly with you.

    I hope this issue of Mindful adds tools to your kit for this lifelong adventure of returning to ourselves and to one another. Amidst the chaos and pain and love of being alive, we are all we truly have. May we all find our way to trust in that.



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  • 2026 Annual Issue: Bonus Material

    2026 Annual Issue: Bonus Material

    Retreat Guide 2026

    Find space to pause, reflect, and reconnect

    Step away from the noise and return to what matters. The 2026 Mindful Retreat Guide curates a thoughtful selection of mindfulness retreats from around the world, chosen for their depth, integrity, and respect for both inner practice and place. Whether you’re seeking silence, nature, community, or renewal, this guide is designed to help you find a retreat experience that truly supports reflection, restoration, and meaningful time offline.



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  • Busy Times, or Anytime: Nine Ways Mindfulness Reduces Stress

    Busy Times, or Anytime: Nine Ways Mindfulness Reduces Stress

    You’ve probably heard that mindfulness reduces stress levels. But how does it help? Shamash Alidina shares the research—plus, a meditation you can turn to anytime.

    You’ve probably heard that mindfulness reduces stress. But how does it actually help you do that?

    Mounting scientific evidence from hundreds of universities—including dedicated centers at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in the United States and the University of Oxford in the United Kingdom—strongly suggests that mindfulness gently builds an inner strength, so that future stressors have less impact on our happiness and physical well-being.

    Here are nine ways mindfulness can help you manage stress, plus a guided meditation to start experiencing the natural calm that mindfulness can bring:

    Nine Ways Mindfulness Reduces Stress

    1. You become more aware of your thoughts. You can then step back from them and not take them so literally. That way, your stress response is not initiated in the first place.
    2. You don’t immediately react to a situation. Instead, you have a moment to pause and then use your “wise mind” to come up with the best solution. Mindfulness helps you do this through the mindful exercises.
    3. Mindfulness switches on your “being” mode of mind, which is associated with relaxation. Your “doing” mode of mind is associated with action and the stress response.
    4. You are more aware and sensitive to the needs of your body. You may notice pains earlier and can then take appropriate action.
    5. You are more aware of the emotions of others. As your emotional intelligence rises, you are less likely to get into conflict.
    6. Your level of care and compassion for yourself and others rises. This compassionate mind soothes you and inhibits your stress response.
    7. Mindfulness practice reduces activity in the part of your brain called the amygdala. The amygdala is central to switching on your stress response, so effectively, your background level of stress is reduced.
    8. You are better able to focus. So you complete your work more efficiently, you have a greater sense of well-being, and this reduces the stress response. You are more likely to get into “the zone” or “flow,” as it’s termed in psychology by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
    9. You can switch your attitude to the stress. Rather than just seeing the negative consequences of feeling stressed, mindfulness offers you the space to think differently about the stress itself. Observing how the increased pressure helps energize you has a positive effect on your body and mind.

    Try It Yourself—Stress SOS: A Quick Practice When You Need It Most

    1. Bring to mind a current challenge in your life that is the cause of some stress. A situation that you’re willing to work with at the moment. Not your biggest challenge but not so small that it causes no stress at all. A 3 on a scale of 1–10 is a good guide.
    2. Bring the situation vividly to mind. Imagine being in the situation and all the difficulties associated with it.
    3. Notice whether you can feel the stress in your body. Physical tension, faster heart rate, a little bit of sweating, butterflies in your stomach, tightness in the back or shoulders or jaw, perhaps. Look out for your stress signals.
    4. Tune in to your emotions. Notice how you feel. Label that emotion if you can, and be aware of where you feel the emotion, exactly, in your body. Just try to spot it as best you can. The more precisely you can locate the emotion and the more you notice about the sensation, the better. With time and experience, you’ll keep getting better at this.
    5. Bring mindful attitudes to the emotion. These include curiosity, friendliness, and acceptance.
    6. Try placing your hand on the location of the sensation—a friendly hand representing kindness. Do it the way you would place your hand on the injured knee of a child, with care and affection.
    7. Feel the sensation together with your breathing. This can promote a present-moment awareness and mindful attitudes to your experience.
    8. When you’re ready, bring this meditation to a close.
    This article was adapted from Shamash Alidina’s book The Mindful Way Through Stress



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  • A Meditation for Working With Our Self-Judging Voice

    A Meditation for Working With Our Self-Judging Voice

    A guided meditation to get familiar with our self-judging voice and how we relate to our flaws, so that we can cultivate compassion and recognize our own worthiness.

    Mindfulness is about paying attention to our present moment experiences with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to be with what is. Mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment with openness to things as they really are, as opposed to how we want them to be or how they could be, or wishing that they were different, which we do quite a bit. This includes our uncomfortable experiences—like being with our fear, grief, regret, and that self-judging voice that sometimes makes us feel so small.

    Self-compassion is the idea that even with all of our flaws, we can still care about ourselves.

    Self-Compassion vs. Self-Esteem

    I want to talk about the concept of self-compassion. Self-compassion is different from self-esteem. There seems to be this epidemic of self-judgment in the world, where people are often self-critical and have a lot of self-hating voices in their heads. Self-compassion is not the build up of self-esteem, because the build up of self-esteem tends to lead people to needing a lot of external validation to feel ok. Instead, self-compassion is the idea that even with all of our flaws, we can still care about ourselves, that we can make mistakes, that we can screw up, that we can have problems, but we’re still fundamentally a good human being. We can connect with that understanding and have compassion for ourselves, even with the flaws that we have. 

    What’s so amazing about mindfulness practice is we can use mindfulness to be aware when we have those self-critical voices, and we can label that voice as “judging”. We can notice when we have those judging voices because we have a mindfulness practice that allows us to have quite a bit more self-awareness, more ability to regulate emotions, and all of the positive things that come with the mindfulness practice. When these thoughts come we can be on top of them and not get so caught up.

    I sometimes talk about getting on the train – when you have a really powerful thought and you start thinking about it, and suddenly twenty minutes later you realize you’ve been on this train and were not in the present moment at all. However, the moment you recognize this, you can get off the train. Or, you can recognize this initially and not get on the train in the first place. You can stay at the platform and just let the thoughts go.

    A Meditation for Working With Our Self-Judging Voice

    1. Find your seat. Let’s begin by settling back into our comfortable posture, with your body upright but not too rigid or tight. Put your feet on the floor, hands resting on your lap, and your eyes can be closed. Most of us do this practice with our eyes closed but you don’t have to. You can keep them open but not looking all around, just looking downward. 
    2. Begin to notice your breathing. Begin with a few deep breaths letting you relax a little bit more. Invite in the possibility of relaxation with each deep breath. For this next period of time, you don’t have all of the worries and concerns. You’ve left them at the door, I hope. They may pop up into your mind but you can remind yourself that you don’t have to get on that train, and just come in to the present moment, feeling, or breath, while being present. 
    3. Focus on where you feel the breath most. Bring your attention to your stomach and notice if it’s tight or contracted. Take a deep breath if it is and just let it go. Notice your hands softening, and relax them. Notice your shoulders, jaw, throat, and face, and sense everything that’s obvious to you, maybe on the surface of the skin and maybe more internal. Do this with curiosity and with an eye out to relaxing a little bit.
    4. Let yourself be here right now, in this moment, and see if you can bring your attention to your breathing and to your breath in your body, wherever you feel your breath the clearest within your body. You might notice your abdomen rising and falling, or your chest rising and falling, expanding, and contracting with the breath. You might notice the tingling at your nostrils as air enters and exits. Some people notice the whole torso breathing with the air moving through their body, and that’s fine too.
    5. Shift attention to sounds. Now turn your attention to the sounds around you, just listen to sounds one after the next. Both the sound of silence, and the sounds that come and go. Don’t be lost in a story about the sounds, but just simply listen to them. 
    6. Find an object to anchor your attention. Find a focus for your meditation today. It could be your breath in your abdomen, or chest, or nose, or the full body breathing, or it could be listening to the sounds—any of those things work fine. Go to whichever one seems the most interesting to you, there’s no right way to do. If you can’t decide then just pick one, it doesn’t matter too much. 
    7. Notice the body breathing. Notice your abdomen moving up and down, chest expanding and contracting, air moving through your nose with each breath, full body breathing, or the sounds around you. 
    8. Stay with the sensations of breathing. We begin this mindfulness practice by attending to breath after breath, or sound after sound, staying with it to the best of our abilities, feeling the breath. 
    9. When the mind wanders, label your thoughts. At a certain point your attention will wander, and thoughts will come into your consciousness. When you notice that you’re lost in a thought, you can say a soft word like “thinking” or “wondering”, and come back to your main focus. Keep doing that again and again. This is emphasized for today’s practice because we are talking about how mindfulness can help us with self-judgment, and recognizing that you can notice the type of thought you’re having and give it a label.
    10. You can keep an eye out for judging thoughts, and every time you judge you can say in your mind a soft word like “judging”, or “self-judgment”, or “criticism”, or you can find the word that makes sense to you. It will help you to see the way in which the judgments arise. It’s not personal by the way; you didn’t set out to make yourself feel bad. It just happens. “That person is a better meditator than I am”, or “I’ll never get this right”, or “Why did I do that thing yesterday, it was so foolish”.  These are the kind of voices that come into our mind for some of us frequently. For others they may be rare; that’s fine too. 
    11. Notice self-critical thoughts as they arise. Use mindfulness practice to not judge yourself, to not judge yourself for being judgmental, and just notice judging. If you want to count the occurrences you can; for example “judging 1, judging 2… judging 20.” While you’re noticing these thoughts, you might get drawn to other types of thoughts. If so, you can use other labels like “planning”, “remembering”, “imagining”, and so forth. 
    12. Invite self-compassion. As you do this practice, please keep a quality of kindness towards yourself. Be curious. Notice how interesting your mind is without judging yourself. Maintain the spirit of kindness and investigation. 
    13. Reflect on the quality of your meditation. For the last few minutes of this meditation, just notice how you are doing with this awareness practice, with the mindfulness of breath, and with mindfulness of the way your thoughts operate. You can ask yourself, “Did I get on the train?”, “Did I get off the train?”, or “Did I stay at the platform maybe once or twice?”
    14. Did you notice many judging thoughts? I’m hoping you brought a kind attitude to yourself for the judging thoughts, if they were present. 
    15. Close with kindness. We will do a little bit of kindness meditation to conclude. Notice how you’re feeling, and see if you can also bring to mind someone you love, someone who makes you happy. It could be a dear friend, a child, a pet cat or dog. If you can’t think of anyone, it can be someone you’ve read about who you admire. 
    16. Repeat kind phrases. Say these phrases, and repeat them in your mind (or you can come up with your own). May you be safe and protected. May you be happy and peaceful. May you be healthy and strong. May you be at ease. 
    17. Send kind phrases to loved ones. Send these words and heartfelt feeling out to this loved one. Notice how it feels inside to make those wishes for them. Imagine that they send it back to you. May you be safe and protected. May you be happy and peaceful. May you be healthy and strong. May you accept yourself, just as you are.  
    18. See if you can “take” the kindness. Imagine the kindness moving through your body, wherever you are. Can you bring compassion to yourself exactly where you are, for whatever is happening right now? May I hold this with kindness. May I hold myself with compassion. Take a breath and notice if this is possible, to bring kindness to the best of your abilities wherever you are, however it makes sense to you. May I be with myself exactly as I am.
    19. Open your eyes. When you’re ready you can open your eyes, but take your time. 



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  • Foster Forgiveness With This 10-Minute Guided Meditation

    Foster Forgiveness With This 10-Minute Guided Meditation

    Explore this mindfulness practice to foster forgiveness and let go of the tendency to add to suffering during challenging situations.

    Two monks are walking down the road. They arrive at a muddy stream crossing, and a well-dressed woman declares without introduction, “Don’t just stand there. Someone carry me across this mess.“

    Without pause, the older monk lifts her across. She says nothing, not even a thank you.

    The two monks walk all day. The whole time, the younger one stews in his mind—How could he pick her up? We’re not supposed to touch women, or even talk to them. And she was so rude, someone should say something to her, she didn’t deserve our help.

    Finally, arriving at the inn for dinner, he can’t hold himself back. “What were you thinking?” he asks his friend. “She was nasty, and you broke the rules, and she didn’t even say thank you.”

    The older monk smiles gently and replies. “Wow, I put that woman down hours ago, but you’ve been carrying her all this time!”

    Why We Carry Anger and Resentment

    So what does that mean in real life? We make mistakes. Other people make mistakes. We do things to others. Others do things to us. There’s an actual experience that can be trivial or even traumatic. We add to the suffering with judgment, anger, and blame. It’s sometimes referred to as adding a second arrow after being struck by a first. Something unpleasant happens, but then we add more to the experience.

    With forgiveness, we make amends when needed but let go of the extra baggage. We give ourselves the same benefit of the doubt we’d offer a close friend.

    Forgiveness isn’t the same as condoning ourselves or anyone else for misbehavior. But we so easily hold ourselves infinitely responsible, often for experiences utterly out of our control or from decades past. With forgiveness, we make amends when needed but let go of the extra baggage. We give ourselves the same benefit of the doubt we’d offer a close friend.

    On the other hand, we sometimes allow someone else to influence our lives long after they’ve gone in a similar fashion. Another driver cuts us off in traffic, putting us in danger, and then speeds off. The driver arrives at brunch and relaxes, but we make our own coffee break bitter dwelling in our own anger. It’s a concept that holds across larger situations too. Anger and resentment simmer and grow, while compassionate resolve allows us to address what needs addressing without slinging additional arrows.

    A Forgiveness Meditation to Let Go of Added Suffering

    1. Find yourself a comfortable posture, or take a moment lying on the floor, or a bed.
    2. Bring your attention to the physical sensation of breathing, noting whatever is grabbing your attention, or whatever you’re feeling now, and without judgment, bringing your attention back to the rising and falling of your breath.
    3. Picture something that comes to mind that you judge yourself for. Maybe you feel regret, or irritation, or sadness. Notice how it feels even bringing it to mind. Then focus on these three phrases, not forcing anything but setting an intention: I forgive myself for not understanding. I forgive myself for making mistakes. I forgive myself for causing pain and suffering to myself and others.
    4. Bring your attention back again and repeat the phrases. For a few moments instead of the breath using these phrases as a focus for your attention. This type of practice may become too painful. At any time, without judging yourself, come back and focus on the breath. Allow yourself to settle and return when you’re ready, now or maybe some time in the future.
    5. Our mind naturally holds onto instances where we feel mistreated by others. There may be experiences that were entirely wrong or traumatic or that concretely require our attention or action. At the same time, we can practice avoiding the second arrow. I forgive you for not understanding. I forgive you for making mistakes. I forgive you for causing pain and suffering to me and to others. Letting go of the tendency to add resentment and judgment and everything related to challenging and unpleasant situations. Again, if it’s too much to consider, return to breathing, or if you prefer, focusing on compassion for yourself instead.
    6. Practices of this kind can be quite challenging, so in these last few moments, on each in-breath, noticing and accepting whatever you feel right now. On each out-breath, as you would for a close friend, offering yourself relief, or freedom, or strength, or whatever first comes to mind.

    Forgiveness doesn’t mean being passive or not taking action. It doesn’t mean standing down when we need to protect ourselves or someone else from harm. Do what needs to be done—that might mean taking a pause, settling the mind, and trying to see things as clearly as possible before taking skillful action. Continue to practice forgiveness, over and over again, letting go of whatever holds you back.



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  • Mindfulness Practices to Get Back in Touch with Your Body

    Mindfulness Practices to Get Back in Touch with Your Body

    Shift from a “fix it” mindset to more kindness and acceptance with these practices to get back in touch with your body.

    One thing I’ve noticed in my classes and retreats recently is people are struggling—not just with their minds during meditation, but their bodies. It’s a conflicted relationship.

    Mindfulness teaches us to keep coming back to the present moment as we experience it in the body, like the breath in the mindfulness of breathing meditation. It’s good to remember that the body is always in the present moment.

    In a recent yoga class I attended, the teacher, when she moved us through the poses, used the term “today’s body.” She didn’t’ say your body or even the body, but today’s body. I liked the unexpected playfulness of that expression. Immediately it made my body feel more acceptable, less personal, and at the same time more connected with the other people in the room—and their bodies. We all have a “today’s body.”

    So many of us struggle with our body: the way it looks, the way it is built, the way it “performs,”—or doesn’t. I see that all the time in the classes I teach. “I’m not flexible” or “I’m too fat”, “I’m too old,” “too sick,” “too ugly” “too clumsy,” “too messed up,” “too…”. We are not doing so great with appreciating—or at least accepting—the body.

    Let Go of the Inner Critic

    When we give up the identification of “I, me, mine” with our body for even just moments at a time, something miraculous can happen. We can relax. We can ease up. If the body is not personal, not “mine,” then I can release the idea that it’s entirely in my hands to change what I don’t like about it. Then my body is not “my fault” and I can release for a moment the felt responsibility to fix it. As soon as I can let go of that, I can open up and my body awareness and perception can change significantly.

    But, you might say, the term “today’s body” is too impersonal and makes the body into an object. Don’t we want to try to love our body more and be more in tandem with this body?

    Yes, absolutely. And yes, the idea of “today’s body” is impersonal. That is actually the point. Think about it this way: What happens to my experience when I take it so personally? If I love my body, that’s not really an issue. But what if I don’t? That can make me feel like a failure, that I can’t change whatever is bothersome in this moment. It can be as simple as not being able to do a forward bend in a way that the other people in the class can do or as difficult as having a chronic health challenge or simply hating one’s body or certain body parts.

    Even if my body hasn’t changed one bit by tomorrow, the flow of body sensations and my mood will have. They never stay exactly the same.

    I can take care of “today’s body” with a lot more tenderness and forgiveness. Or at the very least I can tolerate it being the way it is. And since it’s only “today’s body” and not “forever’s body” I can practice just for today. I can practice body awareness just for this moment and not worry so much about how it might be tomorrow or next week or what my mind happens to think about my “forever body.”

    When we use the element of time in our experience we open up to the truth that perceptions change. The way I feel right now is probably not the same as I felt yesterday or I will feel tomorrow. Maybe not even like I felt 10 minutes ago. Even if my body hasn’t changed one bit by tomorrow, the flow of body sensations and my mood will have. They never stay exactly the same.

    As we practice mindfully with the idea of today’s body we can see more clearly that everybody has “today’s body.” We all share that. And that might make us feel more connected with the other people around us.

    Mindfulness Practices for Loving Your Body

    You can do these practices for “today’s body” sitting or lying in a relaxed way or as part of your regular meditation. These practices can greatly change the way you experience your body and may even lead to serious body love. Give it a try!

    • Awareness: This is “today’s body.” Feel into the body as it is right now. What’s that like?
    • Reflection: Every human being has a body (and so does every animal). This is what it feels like to have a human body. Or a male or female body. Or a gender fluid body.
    • Loving-Kindness: Use a sentence or two that resonate with you. For example: “May this body be happy and at ease” or  “May these legs be happy and at ease”.
    • Gentle touch: Try touching the body with kindness, like simply putting a hand on the body part you are practicing with. We are hard-wired for supportive touch and often that can get the message of kindness and support over like nothing else.

    Adapted from Kristin Neff’s Mindful Self-Compassion Break

    For a guided audio of a loving-kindness body scan visit Christian Wolf’s website.



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  • We’re Hardwired to Doubt—And It’s a Good Thing

    We’re Hardwired to Doubt—And It’s a Good Thing

    Doubt helps us avoid acting on every passing idea which can prevent us from participating in certain types of risk.

    The post We’re Hardwired to Doubt—And It’s a Good Thing appeared first on Mindful.

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