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A Guided Walking Meditation to Notice the Beauty Around Us—Even in the City
This guided walking meditation from Kazumi Igus offers an opportunity to slow down and notice the wonder of the natural world in our urban environments.
City life can often feel frantic, loud, and cut off from natural beauty. It’s not often we slow down and take in all there is to experience. But even in urban areas, if you pay attention, you can hear the call of a bird, notice your favorite color in shop windows, and look up at the vast sky above.

In this guided meditation, we slow our roll and take in the beauty of our surroundings, no matter where we find ourselves.

A Guided Walking Meditation to Notice the Beauty Around Us—Even in the City

Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.
1. Let’s start with taking three deep breaths.
2. As we begin, I want to bring your attention to how you are moving if you’re walking through the city or trying to get from one place to another. How fast are you moving? How are you walking? What’s your pace? Do you have a destination and a timeframe? Or do you have some space? Wherever you are, slow it down just a little bit. If you can afford to walk really slow and won’t hold up traffic, you’re welcome to. And if you’re not walking and you’re in a wheelchair, you’re welcome to slow down. If you really need to be somewhere, try to relax into this space, whatever it is. Slow and steady, but maybe not too slow depending on where you are.
3. Bring your attention to how you are walking—your balance. Are you taking a step? Start to notice the small changes, the muscles involved. And whatever you’re thinking, all of it is OK. You’re just noticing where you are in this space right now.
4. Then, acknowledging that our minds sometimes race and we have a lot of things going on in our lives, just take a deep breath and bring your attention back to each step. Start to settle into a rhythm. Notice every muscle that’s involved with creating this locomotion to propel you forward and shift your weight. Maybe if you’re in a wheelchair, you’re using your arms. How are the hands involved? Are you holding something? Maybe a backpack, bag, or someone’s hand. Focus on really being present with your physical space, your physical body. Take a deep breath. As we move through our urban environment, we start to notice other things outside of ourselves.
5. The first thing I want you to bring your attention to is the smell around you. Depending on where you are, that can be pleasant or unpleasant. Breathing in, can you identify a particular smell? Maybe you’re getting a lot of smells all at once. Maybe you notice the change in smells as you move past different areas. And as you experience these smells, notice what you’re thinking. Are you creating a story? Are you finding yourself wanting to be near a pleasant smell or maybe pushing away, trying to avoid an unpleasant smell? If that’s the case, that’s all right. All of it is normal. Just experience the smell and label it as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. See if you can identify pizza, poop, grass, or whatever it is.
6. Then take a deep breath and shift your attention to sights. What can you see? Start by focusing on a color that brings you joy. If it’s a bright color you might notice it in wrappers from candy or chips, maybe in ads, signs, storefront windows that have lots of flyers. If it’s something more earthy, like green or brown, you might start to notice it in nature—the trees and plants. Just pick your color and start noticing it on your journey. Even if the color is on a man-made object like clothing, hats, backpacks, signs, and things like that, that’s a part of the urban environment. If it’s flowers, trees, plants, we’re just noticing the natural portions of the urban environment. Both are necessary.
7. Taking another deep breath, we shift to looking at nature. Starting with animals. And for this, let’s maybe not focus on people and their pets. Let’s look for the animals that exist in this environment without being owned by a person. You might notice lizards depending on where you are in the world, cats that don’t have owners, squirrels, insects.
8. I’d like to bring your attention to the birds. Birds are what we call an indicator species. They tell you if your environment is healthy. So look up. Look around. Listen. You might even need to stop for a moment. If you can hear birds, start to listen for the variations in their calls, maybe even a different species. If you have mockingbirds, sometimes it’s the same bird making a bunch of different calls. Really stop to listen to it as though they’re telling you something. If the sound of traffic muffles some of the calls, it’s OK. The urban environment is complex. It has both manmade and natural things. If you can see the birds, notice their behaviors, the coloration, and any other details that might pop out at you. And notice your thoughts while seeing or hearing the birds. You might be able to see or hear seagulls if you’re near a coast, rock doves, a.k.a. pigeons, finches, sparrows, chickadees. Notice if you can identify any of these species by site or by call. Take a deep breath, noticing where the birds are. Probably in plants, trees, bushes, or on grass.
9. Those of us who live in urban environments often have plant blindness and don’t notice the plants. Take a moment to notice leaves and if you can see any patterns in how those plants are growing. Are there any flowers? Maybe you can recognize a specific species. Can you name it? Take a deep breath. Experience being around plants and animals in nature.
10. And as you continue moving keep noticing your color, new plants, new animals. Notice what you’re thinking and if you’re telling yourself a story or if you’re asking a lot of questions. And if you are, take a deep breath and then focus back on the details of the experience—the shape of the leaves, the color of the feathers. As humans, we cannot survive without the natural parts of the environment. So it’s very important for us to be mindful of how our movement through the world affects the nature around us and how the nature around us can affect our experience. Take another deep breath. If there’s a big tree or a squirrel that’s standing there looking at you, or a plant that’s intriguing, take a moment to stop.
11. Be grateful for its part of this urban environment. Expressing some gratitude that you are even able to experience it today. Taking a deep breath. Finding your walking rhythm. Slow but steady, or whatever works for you. Continuing to notice your color, plants, the animals. And continuing to take deep breaths.
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April 30, 2026
What Green Spaces Can Do For Your Body, Your Mind & Your Practice

I live in the heart of a city, and although our neighborhood is usually pretty calm, there’s still that frenetic energy to my surroundings that exists in all urban areas. I sometimes don’t fully clock how busy and bright and beep-y my daily life is until I go somewhere truly far away—a hike on the wild North Shore of Lake Superior, or a cabin where the night sky is genuinely dark and the loudest thing is the birdsong.

But even here in my city, I am lucky enough to have easy access to green spaces galore. Three lakes are within walking distance, along with public gardens, miles of walking and biking trails, even a bird sanctuary. It’s an embarrassment of riches that I am daily grateful for.

Every time I step outside—into a nearby park, my own backyard garden, or even a small green strip between buildings—something shifts. My shoulders drop, and my breath deepens. That thing that was churning in my mind a moment ago seems a little less urgent. It’s not gone, but it is quieter. This shift is rarely dramatic, but more just a gentle signal that it’s okay to slow down and let down my defenses.

Nothing about my external circumstances has changed. Things in my life and in the world are still messy and anxiety-producing. I’ve still got little piles of grief, resentments, obligations, and worries in the dusty corners of my mind and heart. Being human still continues.

Still, I know that the experience I’m having when I get outside isn’t just a nice feeling. Something subtle but real is happening in my brain and my body. And while the mind/body/heart delineation is always somewhat contrived—after all, we’re always whole beings having all these varied physical and emotional experiences—a growing body of research is saying: what’s happening in these natural spaces is worth paying attention to.

What Happens in Your Body

When we talk about nature being soothing, we’re not just speaking poetically. When we take time to walk through or sit in the natural world, it is actually dialing down our stress hormones in real time.

In a 2019 study published in Frontiers in Psychology, researchers tracked urban dwellers over eight weeks and found that a nature experience produced a 21.3% per hour drop in cortisol levels, with the most concentrated benefits occurring between 20 and 30 minutes outside. A 2025 meta-analysis across 78 studies confirmed the pattern: exposure to green spaces decreased salivary cortisol by 21% and salivary amylase by 28%, which is a fancy way of saying that even our spit provides evidence of significant reductions in the body’s stress response.

Stepping outside for half an hour might be one of the most underrated meditation preparations we have.

Salivary amylase is a marker of sympathetic nervous system activation—the same fight-or-flight wiring that gets overworked when we’re anxious, overwhelmed, doom-scrolling (I know it’s not just me, right?), or simply living in the modern world.

When it drops, the body is shifting toward a sense of safety and rest. It’s settling into the very state that meditation practitioners often spend years learning to access.

What if stepping outside for half an hour is one of the most underrated meditation preparations we have?

What Happens in Your Heart

There’s something else that nature does, a little harder to quantify but no less real: it stops us in our tracks. It makes us feel small—but in the most expansive way.

Researchers (and poets and mystics) call this “awe,” and natural environments are among its most reliable triggers. In one fascinating study, students who spent just one minute looking up at a stand of tall eucalyptus trees showed measurable increases in awe and significantly more generous, helpful behavior than those who had looked at a building. Imagine the implications if sixty seconds of looking at trees makes us kinder and more gracious towards others.

Awe is a way to feel small that is deeply enlivening, because part of awe is also a feeling of being held and connected by something larger, more beautiful, and communal.

We generally don’t like to feel small, and a lot of our current state of nonstop agitation comes from armoring ourselves against the fear and defensiveness that arises in us when we feel pressed down by larger, more aggressive forces that seem to want us to feel insignificant.

Awe is a way to feel small that is also deeply enlivening, because part of awe is also a feeling of being held and connected to something larger, more beautiful, and communal. The group of astronauts on the recent Artemis II mission talked about this often and openly, and their shared sense of wonder magnetically drew in millions of followers. They offered living proof that there’s something bigger than this moment of strife. That sense of connection they described—the truth of our interdependence, which I think deep down we are all starved to feel and believe in again—is quieter and much more real than the blaring comment sections of social media that are constantly shouting at us about how separate and hopelessly broken we all are.

The sterility and atomization of modern life tends to rob us of these essential human experiences of awe and wonder, and the natural world tends to replenish them.

The Paradox of Awe, Surrender, and Beginner’s Mind

What research is finding is something contemplatives have long pointed to: a loosening of the ego, a softening of that grasping sense that we have to be the center of everything in order to feel alright. In meditation, this letting go of our need to feel special and smart is a quality we sometimes call “beginner’s mind.” It’s a place where it is okay to admit that we don’t know a whole bunch of things, maybe most things, and it’s also okay that we don’t know.

Yes, life is serious sometimes, but often not in the ways we imagine. Meditation is, in part, a way of gently reminding ourselves that we don’t have to take ourselves so dang seriously all the time.

As the poet Mary Oliver wrote while watching a gathering of goldfinches:

...it is a serious thing

just to be alive
  on this fresh morning
  in the broken world.
I beg of you,

do not walk by
  without pausing
to attend to this…

The great irony, of course, is that in that moment of surrender, we actually open ourselves up to a fresh set of possibilities that our certainty and desperate need to feel big tend to foreclose us to. The “I don’t know” becomes the doorway to wisdom, and the “I don’t have to be special by the world’s standards” becomes a way to access a sense of real, unconditional belonging and belovedness, even in our imperfection.

Meditation can help unlock these states of expansive, cradled surrender. It turns out a canopy of trees, a wide-open field, or the particular shimmering quality of late-afternoon light through leaves can take us there, too.

Meditation can help unlock these states of expansive, cradled surrender. It turns out a canopy of trees, a wide-open field, or the particular shimmering quality of late-afternoon light through leaves can take us there, too.

What Happens in Your Mind

If you’ve ever tried to meditate after a long day at the computer and found your mind spinning, there’s a reason for that—and spending some time in green spaces can help with this, too.

Attention Restoration Theory proposes that mental fatigue and concentration can be improved by time spent in, or even just looking at, green spaces. It suggests that natural environments encourage more effortless brain function, allowing directed attention to rest and replenish itself. Our focused, striving attention—the kind we use to meet deadlines, manage inboxes, and navigate hard conversations—is a finite resource. It gets depleted. And ordinary urban environments, with their constant demands and stimulation, keep drawing from that well.

Natural environments evoke what researchers call “soft fascination.” Isn’t that a gorgeous phrase? This is an effortless, gentle form of attention, similar to mind-wandering but still directed outward. It allows our directed attention to rest while the mind quietly restores itself. Think of how your whole being feels when you’re watching a drifting cloud or noticing the way wind undulates a field of wild grasses, or what happens when you just sit and listen to the sound of rain drop-drop-dropping into a lake. These things don’t demand anything of us. They simply invite us to be present—which is, of course, the whole point.

A Gentle Green-Space Invitation

The research is compelling, but I know that you don’t need a study to tell you what you’ve likely already felt. Nature returns us to something. It slows us down, opens us up, and reminds us that we are part of something much larger than the constantly-shuffling contents of our minds.

Whether it’s a 20-minute walk before your morning sit, a lunch break in the park, or simply pausing to notice a patch of sky—time outside is time well spent. It offers a balm for your nervous system, nurtures your sense of wonder, and encourages the quiet, open awareness that sits at the heart of our practice.

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April 28, 2026
A 12-Minute Meditation to Meet Yourself Where You Are—Right Now
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction instructor Cheryl Jones leads us in a practice to foster self-acceptance in any life circumstance.
Mindfulness meditation involves a willingness to be with ourselves as we are. It offers a way of learning to work with ourselves, and not on ourselves, especially if you are healing from perfectionism.

So what does it look like to simply meet yourself, regardless of what’s going on or how you’re feeling?

In this guided practice with Cheryl Jones, we can start to notice whatever is happening within us and around us with curiosity and kindness. Mindfulness reminds us that not everything has to be “fixed”—and very often, our movement back to wellness starts when we stop trying to change ourselves and simply accept where we are with care and attention.

A Meditation to Meet Yourself Where You Are—No Matter What

Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.
1. Find your way to an upright and dignified posture. Close your eyes or lower your eyes in a soft gaze. Place your feet on the ground and relax your arms at your sides. Rest your hands in your lap. Draw your shoulder blades subtly toward each other, allowing the chin to be parallel with the floor. Lift the crown of your head toward the sky. Perhaps soften the belly and the jaw.
2. Notice what it feels like to stop. Notice what it feels like to be sitting in this purposeful posture in this moment, in this space. And perhaps now take a moment to welcome yourself to your practice, acknowledging your willingness to be here for yourself in this way.
3. Notice that you are breathing. There’s no need to change or manipulate the breath in any way. Allow the breath to be just as it is right here, right now. Simply follow the breath in and follow the breath out.
4. Notice where you feel the sensations of the breath. Perhaps you’re aware of the air moving in and out at the nostrils and the upper lip. You could possibly be sensing the gentle expanding and contracting of the chest and ribs. Maybe you feel the abdomen rising and sinking. Allow your attention to rest on the sensations of the breath as it flows in and out of the body.
5. As you’re sitting here with the attention on the breath, just meet yourself. You may notice thoughts going through the mind. There’s no need to block thoughts out. Rather, see if it is possible to allow thoughts to pass through the mind one by one. Let go of any need to label thoughts as positive or negative. Good or bad. Find a neutral way to be with your thoughts. See if it’s possible to be aware of thoughts without grasping or clinging to any one thought. And also without rejecting or denying any particular thought.
6. Shift your attention now to any feelings that may be present in this moment. Breathing in and breathing out. Acknowledge any feeling just as it is. Sometimes we have feelings about our feelings. We may feel that one feeling is OK or acceptable while another is not. All feelings are acceptable.
7. Now, bring your awareness to sensations within the body. Warmth. Coolness. Tingling. Tightness. Pulsation. Relaxation. Hunger. Fullness. Notice what’s happening within the body in this moment. Do this with patience and kindness. Explore sensations both strong and subtle with curiosity.
8. As you breathe in and breathe out, notice if your posture has shifted. And then make any adjustments, if you’d like. Allow yourself to tune in to the body just as it is.
9. Center your attention on only the breath now. And as we near the end of this practice, follow three more full cycles of breathing. Be as present as possible for each one. Remember this place of awareness is always available to you because it’s within you.
10. As you feel ready, allow your eyes to open gently if they were closed. Get reacquainted with your surroundings and prepare to reengage with the day. Perhaps set an intention to bring awareness to all that you do and into each interaction.
A 15-Minute Meditation for Self-Acceptance

On some level, many of us are healing from perfectionism, but with mindfulness we can learn to embrace our flaws. Cheryl Jones, founder of The Mindful Path, shares a guided practice to be with ourselves as we are. Read More
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April 24, 2026
The Gift of Being Alive: A Q&A with Rhonda Magee
We need the wisdom of cool heads and open hearts more than ever, and part of how we get to that wisdom is by (counterintuitively) allowing the fullness of our human experience, including our anger. Here we revisit a Q&A with Rhonda Magee as she explores the complexity, frustration, and intimate beauty of learning to make and be peace in the world.

Stephanie Domet: In your book The Inner Work of Racial Justice, you detail the steps you took to help one of your students process his attitudes and biases. What kind of energy does that work require?

Rhonda Magee: It requires a certain kind of commitment, a certain willingness to turn toward that which we could so easily deflect, turn away from, deny, minimize, avoid. For me it’s really important that when these opportunities present themselves for us to look into what’s arising around this, we turn in to that opportunity as opposed to away from it. I also think it takes a kind of grounding in a certain kind of love—kindness, loving-kindness— for me it takes some feeling of the value, of the possibility of connecting across lots of difference and the importance and value of trying to do it, again and again, even when it’s difficult.

SD: Why is it worth it to you to do this work?

RM: In my view, absolutely everything is connected, and that means all of us are connected, and so it seems to me that when we have these opportunities to expand the sense of our common ground, and we don’t take advantage of them and we don’t do what we can to heal and repair and transform the world, then it seems to me we are in effect contributing to barriers and obstacles to deep well-being. And so for me it’s worth it because it’s about practice. It arises out of deep practice for me—it arises out of the deep ethical ground of my practice.

SD: Who does that work serve? Is it for yourself, for the other person, the greater good of society? To honor the practice?

RM: It serves life. The gift of literally being alive. To me that’s not about any one of us, actually. To be alive is a great gift, and therefore the only real response to such a gift is gratitude. And a way to show gratitude is to try to minimize harm wherever it arises, as best we can. Recognizing we’re not perfect, that we’re not always able to see clearly how what we’re doing contributes to harm, we’re all vulnerable and misguided in our own ways, so it’s with a lot of humility that I say this. But ultimately, I think this question of who does it benefit, it benefits life.

SD: For a racialized person, a racialized woman, there are microaggressions everywhere. How do you take care of yourself to ensure you can do this work you want to do and feel called to do?

RM: It has come out of a sense of my own agency and what I often call personal justice. This idea that justice starts with us, how we treat ourselves. Taking care of myself feels like the first approximation of whatever it is I’m trying to offer in the world. There’s a reason I live in San Francisco as opposed to North Carolina or Virginia, where I was born and raised. The environment in San Francisco seems a bit more conducive to this way of accepting people, working across cultures, multiculturally, working with people who have different ways of expressing themselves, whether it be about race, sexual orientation, religion, immigration status. I specifically talk about the environment first and then the practices. We tend to think that from the practices we can overcome just about everything and that’s a good way to think, but I don’t want to miss this opportunity to name the relevance of our embeddedness in the world, and what’s possible is, in some measure, aided and abetted and shaped by the circumstances, the environments, the structures and systems that we find ourselves bathing in all the time. I live in a community that provides a certain amount of buffer against some of the worst kinds of disrespect that a person like me might find out in the world. From this place of relative protectedness, then I actually am able to give even more. We have to keep fighting for opportunities for people who today are suffering from a new set of oppressive systems.

SD: I wonder about your take on callout culture, or cancel culture. Is there a value in that approach, too? Your approach is one on one, which feels righteous, but slow. But what about other big-impact approaches? Do they also move the ball down the field?

RM: In the social justice arenas we may have overamplified some of the sharper ways of dealing with this. That’s not to say there aren’t times when we really need to take a strong, sharp stand. It takes a certain skill to act firmly and clearly and do so in a way that can minimize rather than exacerbate patterns of disconnect and separation. For me it’s never about just changing places with the people or processes that have been causing harm. It’s really about bringing around a new way of being with each other. There’s a certain urgency to figuring out how to work for some notion of justice and how to end oppression, but how to do that in a way that opens the heart, and that expands the capacity of all of us to be agents of a kind of public love that can help us sustain human life. Because the universe is going to go on in whatever way, but human life is vulnerable right now because of our failure to figure out how to live more gently and effectively together on this planet and to appreciate this brief opportunity we have between the birth and the death date to make a positive impact on this world.

“There is a way that even in the darkest times—intergenerationally dark times where there’s no reason to think your children will ever get out of this—there’s a way to love.”

SD: Do you ever lose your cool?

RM: I often lose my cool intentionally, as a tool for my own healing. If I’m feeling agitation and despair or some sudden rage at something I hear that seems completely nuts, my own practice journey at the moment is allowing those feelings to be expressed and as much as possible doing that regularly enough that they’re not creating a boiler that is going to explode out there. So if I’m here, at home, where it’s safe, it’s part of my practice to let the anger and the rage that I feel about injustice come right out. There are so many things happening that if you are willing to look at these difficult issues—I mean, my heart is breaking all day every day. I hum, I sing more nowadays, I hum and sing with others more nowadays. Singing, holding hands, humming, those are ways that human beings have across times and cultures managed to get through difficult times together. I sometimes forget just how many generations of human beings before recorded human history—for hundreds of thousands of years we don’t know the numbers of battles, rages, the despair, the inhumanity to each other, and yet we survived, and yet we didn’t burn down the planet, and yet we figured out how to keep getting up every day and feeding the children. There’s a planet’s worth of wisdom about how to get through difficult times and about the holistic nature of what that takes, so that’s what I’m about these days.

SD: I thought losing your cool would look more like—I don’t know—do you ever want to swipe all those books off the bookcase behind you?

RM: I mean, sometimes! When I hear this I’m tempted to think of those who say: We just need to start all over again. Blow it up and start all over. I don’t have kids, I’m not physically a mother, but I kind of feel like most moms and most of us in these communities that have suffered a lot over time, you know, we’re here. We’re usually not the ones who say let’s burn it all down. Because our children are in that. The things we have lovingly protected from the worst, as best we could through generations, whether through slavery or whatever our cultures and heritages have suffered through, we suffered through so we could live another day and find the sources of hope and regeneration. That mothering instinct, I believe it’s in all of us on some level, that instinct that would protect, that would go into the fire and pull out what we can and start again, mindfulness of that, cultivation of that is what I feel called to help support and that comes at least in part from my own particular lineage as the granddaughter of the granddaughter of formerly enslaved people. There is a way that even in the darkest times, intergenerationally dark times where there’s no reason to think your children will ever get out of this, there’s a way to love, to help bring about places where joy and healing can happen, and my goodness, if people could do it during much darker times, the holocausts of our history, the enslavement periods of our history—if it could be done then, then we can do it now. I have some love and compassion for those who feel so beleaguered that the call is just to burn it down. And I say, before you light that match, look into the eyes of a child, hold the hand of a friend, realize that these very human gestures matter, and look for that will, that capacity to live another day in love.

SD: When I look at what’s happening in the world today, the level of unrest and aggression, hate and burning, I see a lot of “men in the room.” What do you think about the role of women in helping bring about this “new way of being with each other”?

RM: I sometimes think of this in the conventional terms of identity—it seems obvious that we need more women in power! But I also think that more fundamentally and importantly, we need to see more empowered feminine energy in the world: that energy which lives in all of us—to greater or lesser degrees—the energy that nurtures, that cares, that sees the imprint of the future and the past in everyone and in everything we do. Any one of us can do this. And every one of us should.
Educating by Being Aware of Others’ Experiences

https://vimeo.com/350988714 Whether we’re a teacher, whether we’re a director, whether we’re an administrative assistant, whatever we are because who we are and what our upbringing has been and what our life experiences have been is intricately a part of our authentic being. Unless we have taken time to look at… Read More

Barb Catbagan

August 21, 2019

12 Powerful Women of the Mindfulness Movement

There’s a balancing of gender power happening across the professional world—including the mindfulness world. Twelve leaders in the field share how they claim their power and bring the diversity of their experiences in the mindfulness movement to bear in their work. Read More

Stephanie Domet

January 15, 2019

About The Author

Stephanie Domet

Stephanie Domet is the author of two novels and a nonfiction book for middle grade readers. She’s the cofounder of the AfterWords Literary Festival and a contributing editor for Mindful. She lives in Kjipuktuk/Halifax, where she is, indeed, grateful to be alive, in the best way.
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April 20, 2026
How Writing Three Lines of Poetry Can Open Your Heart
Poetry can be a kind of meditation, explains Rashid Hughes. He explores how the art of haiku can open your heart and bring a sense of peaceful, awe-inspired expressiveness into your practice.
Life has so much to offer, if we’d only listen. The evening was young and my body tired from being in motion all day. There was an intrinsic quietness in the air, with gray skies above and an unceasing but very tender rainfall. I sat at my desk, looking out of my back window as I often do after a long day of reading or writing. The usual sounds of insects and animals on a late summer evening seemed to be very few. The candle flame to my left on my ancestor altar reminded me of the sacredness of resting, so I allowed myself a moment to just be. I enjoy cracking my window a little to listen to the rain with the coincidental thunder on the horizon. As I feel on many rainy days, I felt like the rain was inviting me to listen deeply, so I obeyed.

As I sat enjoying the rain for a while, I began reflecting on a few words from mama Alice Walker’s poem “Be Nobody’s Darling.”

Be nobody’s darling;
Be an outcast

Be an outcast;
Be pleased to walk alone

I felt alone, but not separate. I exhaled. Something sacred was in the midst: an undivided knowing. A deeply-rooted conviction of belonging arose within me. It was as if I was bearing witness to my boundless love. In awe, I surrendered.

From within this knowing, the following haikus came to me in a very spontaneous, unstructured way. In that moment, life felt both intimate and imminent. A solitude and a fresh clarity caressed me; a moment of effortless meditation unfolding. There was no goal or desire present, just present-moment awareness.

I’m not sure why haiku was the form of writing that came to me at the moment. Poetry or writing isn’t how I usually express myself after meditation. I may jot down a few notes, but hardly ever in the form of poetry. I tend to prefer to bathe in the natural clarity of mind after moments like this. Maybe haiku emerged due to the natural slowness of pacing and spaciousness that is required throughout the haiku poetic process. Who knows?

With the window slightly opened, allowing the sound of the gentle rain and a soft breeze in, I began to write these haikus.

Poetry Can Be a Kind of Meditation

If you don’t understand the meaning of the haikus, that’s OK. The gift of haiku is the patience that is invoked, the wonder, and, on special occasions, the confusion. You may sense that there are many possible interpretations of a haiku. That’s OK too; let all be both true and untrue. I invite you to take a breath in between reading each haiku.

A different knowing
That enters me from beneath.
They frown at me, Shrink!

I hear them calling
In the cool breeze on my feet.
I contract, it’s me!

It’s time to slow down.
What shall my five year plan be?
It’s night time, don’t sleep!

Overcast, light rain.
The sunshine of so much grief
Felt within the peace.

Yaaaass, dreadlocks and beard!
The way they stare in the streets
Feels like, please don’t shoot!

The leaf’s holding on,
Fall, a few yellows and pinks.
No hurry, just be

A candle burns bright.
Walking back and forth I think,
Tomorrow not now.

Try Your Hand at Haiku

It is my wish that everyone might be able to find joy in writing haikus. It really can slow your mind down and open your heart when you need it most. Here are a few tips to get you started.
1. Go for a walk or sit in your favorite seat at home.
2. Observe your surroundings. Notice the colors, the weather, the sounds.
3. Listen to your heart and sense what is happening within.
4. Without much thinking, in two sentences, pause and write down what is capturing your attention.
5. Then write a third sentence that is not as closely related to the first two sentences.
6. See if you can draw some surprising connection between the first two sentences and the the third.
7. Remember, try to really get clear on what insight or message you want to reveal to the reader.
8. If you’d like a challenge, rewrite the three sentences following the traditional haiku structure: three lines, with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, and five in the third.
9. Most importantly, don’t judge yourself for what you come up with.
Try This Guided Meditation As a Mindful Writing Prompt

The invitation is to connect with your senses in a real or imagined setting. What do you hear? What do you smell? Note the emotional content of the space. And when you’re done, take what you learned to the page in whatever way suits you. Read More

Stephanie Domet

June 10, 2024
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April 18, 2026
Create Inner Balance With A 12-Minute Meditation
Life is never constant. And it can be difficult to remain balanced in the midst of change. Susan Bauer-Wu shares a guided meditation to ground us in the present moment and cultivate equanimity.
With equanimity, we can feel the possibility of balance in our hearts in the midst of life’s ups and downs. It’s a quality that’s both receptive and stable. In short, it’s the opposite of the reactive mind. With equanimity, there’s a feeling of ease and allowing as we ride the waves of change and different experiences. It allows us to be present to suffering and present to joy. It combines an understanding mind together with a compassionate heart. It doesn’t mean we are indifferent or that we don’t care or that we care less, it means we allow life to unfold without any attachments to an outcome or taking things personally. And finally, equanimity is opening to easing into each moment with care and gentleness.

A Meditation to Create Inner Balance in the Face of Change

Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.
1. Settle into a comfortable posture. You can close your eyes or simply lower your gaze. Bring awareness toward your body. Notice your breath move through your body, feeling the chest or belly expand with your breath.
2. Take a moment to set an intention for the practice. Perhaps it’s to feel a sense of inner balance and ease. Take in the following phrases or the meaning of the phrases and quietly repeat to yourself: Things are just as they are. I’m safe in this moment. My happiness and suffering depend on my thoughts and actions, not simply upon my wishes. May I feel joy and ease.
3. Notice whatever is present for you right now. Resting in a feeling of OK-ness in this moment, just as it is.
4. Bring to mind someone who you care about and who may be going through a hard time. Extend these phrases or the meaning of the phrases to this person. I care for you yet cannot keep you from suffering. I love you yet cannot control your happiness. Your happiness and suffering depend on your thoughts and actions and not my wishes for you. May you feel joy and ease.
5. Notice how you feel. Notice the raw feeling of whatever is present for you. Sit with it. Just letting it be, right now.
6. Once again, bring awareness to the body, and the breath. Feel the ease of simply being and breathing.
Interested in Meditation? Here Are the Basics

Meditation is a core mindfulness practice that you can customize to meet you where you are, bring your attention to the present moment, and engage in more compassion and connection. Here’s what you need to know to get started. Read More

Eric Langshur and Nate Klemp

May 21, 2021
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April 16, 2026
Be Kind to Yourself by Being Kind to Others

I usually describe a practice as something to do: get on your own side, see the being behind the eyes, take in the good, etc. This practice is different: it’s something to recognize. From this recognition, appropriate action will follow. Let me explain.

Some years ago, I was invited to give a keynote at a conference with the largest audience I’d ever faced. It was a big step up for me. Legendary psychologists were giving the other talks, and I feared I wouldn’t measure up. I was nervous. Real nervous.

I sat in the back waiting my turn, worrying about how people would see me. I thought about how to look impressive and get approval. My mind fixed on me, me, me. I was miserable.

Then I began reading an interview with the Dalai Lama. He spoke about the happiness in wishing others well. A wave of relief and calming swept through me as I recognized that the kindest thing I could do for myself was to stop obsessing about “me” and instead try to be helpful to others.

So I gave my talk, and stayed focused on what could be useful to people rather than how I was coming across. I felt much more relaxed and at peace—and received a standing ovation. I laughed to myself at the ironies: to get approval, stop seeking it; to take care of yourself, take care of others.

This principle holds in everyday life, not just in conferences. If you get a sense of other people and find compassion for them, you’ll feel better yourself. In a relationship, one of the best ways to get your own needs met is to take maximum reasonable responsibility (these words are carefully chosen) for meeting the needs of the other person. Besides being benevolent—which feels good in its own right—it’s your best odds strategy for getting treated better by others. This approach is the opposite of being a doormat; it puts you in a stronger position.

Kindness to you is kindness to me; kindness to me is kindness to you. It’s a genuine—and beautiful—two-way street.

Flip it the other way, and it is also true: being to yourself is being kind to others. As your own well-being increases, you’re more able and likely to be patient, supportive, forgiving, and loving. To take care of them, you’ve got to take care of yourself; otherwise you start running on empty. As you grow happiness and other inner strengths inside yourself, you’ve got more to offer to others.

Kindness to you is kindness to me; kindness to me is kindness to you. It’s a genuine—and beautiful—two-way street.

What Does Being Kind to Others and Yourself Look Like?

The kindness to others and to yourself that I’m talking about here is authentic and proportionate, not overblown or inappropriate.

In ordinary situations, take a moment here and there to recognize that if you open to appropriate compassion, decency, tolerance, respect, support, friendliness, or even love for others…it’s good for you as well.

See the consequences of little things. For example, earlier today, in an airport, I saw a bag on the ground and didn’t know if it had been left by someone. Thinking about this practice, it was natural for there to be some friendliness in my face when I asked the man in front of me if it was his bag. He was startled at first and it seemed like he felt criticized, then he looked more closely at me, relaxed a bit, and said that the bag was his friend’s. His response to my friendliness made me feel at ease instead of awkward or tense.

See how taking care of yourself has good ripple effects for others. Deliberately do a small thing that feeds you—a little rest, some exercise, some time for yourself—and then notice how this affects your relationships.

Imagine what the other person’s concerns or wants might be, and do what you can—usually easily and naturally—to take them into account. Then see how this turns out for you. Probably better than it would have been.

Also see how taking care of yourself has good ripple effects for others. Deliberately do a small thing that feeds you—a little rest, some exercise, some time for yourself—and then notice how this affects your relationships. Notice how healthy boundaries in relationships helps prevent you from getting used up or angry and eventually needing to withdraw.

It’s as if we are connected in a vast web. For better or worse, what you do to others ripples back to you; what you do to yourself ripples out to others.

In effect, you are running little experiments and letting the results really sink in. That’s the important part: letting it really land inside you that we are deeply connected with each other. Helping others helps you; helping yourself helps others. Similarly, harming others harms you; harming yourself harms others.

It’s as if we are connected in a vast web. For better or worse, what you do to others ripples back to you; what you do to yourself ripples out to others.

Recognizing this in your belly and bones will change your life for the better. And change the lives of others for the better as well.

This post is one in a series from Rick Hanson’s Just One Thing (JOT) newsletter, which each week offers a simple practice designed to bring you more joy, more fulfilling relationships, and more peace of mind and heart.

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April 12, 2026
A 12-Minute Meditation to Approach the World With a “Don’t-Know Mind”
We can find strength and resilience in familiarity—and use those feelings to explore the unfamiliar.
At the beginning of every meditation practice that I teach, I offer up a little bit of instruction for the posture, so that you can experience this practice as being as supportive as possible to your body.

A Meditation to Approach the World With a “Don’t-Know Mind”
1. I would like to invite you to come to a place that is truly comfortable and supportive to your practice. For some of you, this may mean a seated position on a chair, on a sofa, or even on some cushions on the floor. This might mean standing up, if that’s more supportive to your back and your posture. And for some of you, this may mean lying down on the ground. Please take a moment to come to whatever place is going to feel most compassionate to your body.
2. Some of you may want to fully close your eyes for this meditation practice. And others may want to employ what I like to call a “soft gaze,” which is looking down at the ground about two inches in front of the knees or the feet.
3. When you’ve settled into a comfortable position, I would love to invite you to take three deep breaths with me. As you’re taking those three deep breaths, you may notice that your body may begin to relax naturally. You may start to feel a little bit more deeply connected to whatever place makes contact with the earth. For some of you that’s going to be your feet, and for others that may be your back. Notice whatever place comes into contact with the earth in this moment.
4. Begin to draw your attention and awareness to the connection between your body and the earth. It might feel beneficial at this point to take another deep inhale and exhale here. When you’re finished, return your breath back to a natural cadence and rhythm.
5. You may notice the quality of the sound in the room that you’re in. Maybe there are some ambient noises that are coming from inside of wherever you are, whatever building you’re in. Or maybe there are sounds that are coming from outside. Please feel free to make these a part of your practice.
6. Begin to draw your awareness to the bottoms of your feet, wherever they are landing on the earth. What do you notice? Does the right foot or the left foot feel slightly heavier than the other? As you notice the difference between the right and the left foot, perhaps you might also become aware of other micro-adjustments inside of your body.
7. You may notice that the mind continues to produce thoughts, and that’s OK. The point of a meditation practice is not necessarily to stop thinking the thoughts that you are thinking, but rather to just be aware of the thoughts as they flow through the body and the mind. As you draw your awareness to your thoughts, you can also bring your awareness to the rhythm of your breath as it flows in and out of your body.
8. I would like to invite you to bring your attention to the muscles of the belly and notice if they’ve been drawn in a little bit tightly towards the spine. Is it possible to invite a sense of relaxation, and even vulnerability, to the muscles of the belly by allowing them to be soft? Don’t worry, no one is watching. How does it feel when you invite a sense of softness and relaxation to the belly? How does the rest of the body respond?
9. While your attention is here, you might begin to imagine a person, place, animal, or object that is deeply familiar to you. Perhaps this animal, person, place, or object reminds you of what it feels like to be home. Can you bring them into the room with you right now?
10. Notice if that invitation has an impact on your breath, as it rises and falls from your chest. You might even feel a bit more safe in the space of this practice as you invite the image of what reminds you of being home, of being held.
11. What is familiar to you, deeply familiar, about this person, animal, place, or object, that makes you feel as though you really know them? What is the feeling of knowing? What is the feeling of familiarity, and how does it land inside of the body? The invitation is to bring your attention back to the breath anytime that you notice yourself getting caught up in the story.
12. Now, bring to mind an image of something that reminds you of what it means to be strong and resilient. Maybe there’s someone who you really look up to, or a place you’ve been that made you feel truly strong and resilient when you were there. Can you bring into your mind’s awareness the embodied sensations of being strong and resilient? Does your body make slight changes and shifts as you recall how this feels?
13. Now we’re going to do a little bit of experimenting. Hopefully this will be fun. There’s a term called “don’t know mind” that is sometimes used in meditation to invoke a sense of curiosity.
14. What is it like to approach the world with a “don’t know mind?” You may find that this is a bit of a contrast to the feeling of familiarity that we began to explore in the beginning of this practice. The feeling of familiarity is the feeling of, “Oh yes, I know. I know this person. I know this place. I know this animal or this object. They are deeply familiar to me.” Perhaps the way we view things, which are seemingly familiar to us, can begin to shift and change ever so slightly when we apply the pure curiosity of “don’t know mind.” How does that land in the body? This exploration of not knowing, of not being quite certain?
15. At this point in your practice, you may notice if there are places in the body that begin to contract when we explore the feeling of “don’t know mind,” and that’s OK. This is the body’s intelligence. Can we unite this exploration of “don’t know mind” with those same sensations of strength and resilience, so that we know that no matter what, when we encounter moments of uncertainty and not-knowing that we have all the strength and resilience inside of our body to meet with that moment? What does it feel like to meet strength and resilience with not-knowing? Can we be truly curious about what arises in our awareness with this practice? Let’s take just a few moments in silence together now and explore the way that this feels.
16. When you’re ready please bring your entire body into your mind’s eye and notice the difference between the way the body feels now and the way the body felt when you first entered into this space of practice. Take the time to notice the way the feet feel slightly different in the way they connect to the earth.
17. Let’s all take one more deep breath in here.
18. When you’re ready, at your own pace and rhythm, please begin to, ever so slowly and gently, open up the eyes, without staring at anything in particular. Allow color and texture to flood back into your mind’s awareness.
19. From here we can begin the process of reorienting to the room that we’re in. Gently begin to turn and rotate the head and the neck, and take in the colors and textures of the space you are in. Notice if there’s anything new or different or alive in the space. What has changed since you started this practice?
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April 8, 2026
A Meditation to (Gently) Interrupt Habitual Reactions
If you find you often react without thinking, explore this practice to respond with greater awareness.
Daily life is full of irritations: moments of inconvenience, situations where we don’t get what we were hoping for, delays, disappointments, prickly interactions that can leave us confused and exasperated.

If we’re honest, we can probably admit that sometimes our reactions in those moments tend to be reflexive rather than intentional. We feel our anger or annoyance rise, and we react almost as though we’re reading a script.

Can we explore these habitual reactions in a way that gives us enough space to respond differently? In today’s practice, teacher Patricia Rockman guides us through a meditation to help us meet whatever is arising, so that we have more agency when the next moment arises.

This meditation is about working with habits. In particular, our habitual reactions to difficult situations that commonly arise. These could be anger at being stuck in traffic, sadness at not getting what you want, or frustration when dealing with companies that keep you on hold for what feels like eternity. Whatever it may be, whether it is something significant or something that might seem mundane, mindfulness practices can help us deal with our habitual reactivity in more skillful ways.

A Meditation to (Gently) Interrupt Habitual Reactions

Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.
1. Get into a comfortable posture, one that is familiar to you and that you use when engaging in a practice, and bring attention to your body. If you are sitting, bring attention to your points of contact; where your sitting bones are on your chair or cushion, or where your feet or legs are in contact with the surface.
2. Bring attention to where your hands are in relation to your body, whether they are resting on your thighs or folded in your lap. Bring attention to your chest rising, your chin in line with your navel, and your tongue at rest behind your teeth. If you are choosing to lie down for this practice, it is preferable for you to lie on your back.
3. Bring attention to your body as it makes contact with the mat, floor, or bed. Note your points of contact, and also note where your body is not in contact. Whatever your position, allow the surface that you are lying or sitting on to take on the work of holding you up. Bring attention to the front body and the back body, and everything in between.
4. Now shift your attention to the sensations of breathing where they are most readily available, whether at the nostril, the chest, or the abdomen. Really hone in on the sensations of the breath as they make themselves known to you, picking one place and resting your attention there.
5. Attend to the in-breath and the out-breath. Attend to the movement of the body as the air moves in and out. Attend to the nostrils; you may be noticing the coolness of the air as it goes in, and the warmth as it moves out. Attend to the breath or the chest, focusing on the expansion of the body with the in-breath, and the deflation of the body as the breath leaves.
6. Allow the body to settle. Allow the breath to settle. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Each breath is a new breath. Each breath is a receiving and a releasing.
7. You will notice from time to time that your attention will move into thinking, into the future, past, planning, anxiety, or daydreaming. Your task is simply to notice this habitual tendency of mind, and gently return to your breath over and over again, without judgment and without a story. There is no right or wrong here, there is simply attending to your breath, noting when your attention moves, and bringing it back again.
8. Notice when the breath is low, and when the breath is short. Notice when it is shallow, and when it is deep. Mindfulness is about coming to know our experience in its entirety, whether wanted or unwanted, and in this case it is coming to know the experience of breathing.
9. Breathe out and let go of this primary focus on the breath, and allow it to be present but in the background. On an in-breath, establish attention in your entire body. Bring an open receptivity to experience and to sensations in the body as they come and go. Note their arrival, persistence, or passing, and explore these. Bring a friendly interest and curiosity to this investigation of the sensorial nature of experience, whatever it is.
10. Notice how your body feels. There may be ease, tension, relaxation, discomfort, or pain in a part of your body. Whatever it is, when a sensation calls out for attention, investigate it and explore its depth and various qualities. Whether you lean into it or lean away, whether it is pleasant, unpleasant, or even neutral, without changing anything in this moment, simply attend to what is arising in your body as it shows.
11. Attend to what is arising as best as you can and without judging it, but notice judgment or aversion if they do arise. As best as you can, explore the sensation as it is, without judgment.
12. Investigate sensations as they arise. Once you are finished investigating one sensation, wait for another to arise and investigate that one. Remember that a sensation may be internal or external. Perhaps sounds are making themselves known as they come and go. Get to know your bodily sensations, in your body, in this moment.
13. Note when your attention moves into thinking, or you feel an impulse to act or shift position. Acknowledge that this is what is here right now. Turn your attention back to your body, over and over again. Explore one sensation, let go of it, and then bring your attention into another as it enters your awareness.
14. Now, if you want to, bring to mind a manageable stressful situation. Maybe it’s a recent time when you were irritated, sad, confused, or anxious. Perhaps it was a situation in a relationship or at work. Bringing to mind this situation, remember that if what comes up is at all overwhelming for you, feel free at any time to turn your attention back to breathing with your body.
15. If your eyes are closed, open them. Consider a stressor and note what arises immediately. It could be a bodily sensation, a thought, or an emotion. Perhaps there is a behavior or an impulse to act. Start to get to know your stress reactivity signatures.
16. If there are thoughts, observe them as best as you can. If there are emotions, try naming them, such as “sadness”, or “anxiety”. Remember that labeling emotions helps to settle them and make them more manageable. Labeling emotions creates an opportunity to give you a choice about what happens next.
17. If there are body sensations, make a note of these, and actually turn your attention to them. Explore them even if they’re unwanted. Get to know them. Stay with them for as long as they are holding your attention. Note whether they increase, persist, or fade. Recognize that this is a moment of stress, and that it’s ok; it’s already here. Bring a compassionate and kind holding to this experience. Be with it as it is, even though it may be unwanted. Explore your body and the sensations for as long as they’re here.
18. Now, shift your attention back to the sensations of breathing, perhaps in your belly. If there are any remaining sensations, hold attention at the same time. Engaging in the option, should you choose, to expand into these on the in-breath, softening, expanding, and releasing on the out-breath, letting go, or allowing and letting be, if this is possible. If this is not necessary, then simply bring attention to the belly and the rising and falling of the breath that comes and goes.
19. Expand around the breath to the entire body once again, to any and all sensations. Be with the body, with your breathing in the background and sensations in the foreground, from head to toe. Bringing a feeling of spaciousness to your experience; be open and receptive, with an open front and strong back.
20. When you’re ready, let go of this practice, and if possible bring a more expanded and spacious awareness to your next moments.
21. Now, if you feel inclined, take a paper and pen and write down any words, thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, and impulses to act that came to mind. Write down what came up for you in that practice when you introduced the stressor. Name the emotions, and listing them. What bodily sensations and what impulses to act or behaviors, if any, went through your mind? These components of experience may show themselves in a variety of ways, moving from thoughts, to emotions, to bodily sensations, to behaviors, and back to emotions and thoughts, and that’s OK. Record these as they show up to you.
22. Once you’ve finished, take a moment to look at what you’ve written and think about where in your habitual reaction you might intervene with mindfulness. How might you bring awareness to these habitual reactions when they arrive, to provide more choice if this is needed, or to introduce other options about how to respond? How might you stop yourself, to be able to take a step back and gain perspective?
Bring Mindful Attention to Habitual Reactions

Perhaps make a commitment to yourself about how you might practice with this in some small way when difficulty arises. Perhaps once a week or once a day, simply bring mindful attention to an experience, or bring the breath your mind when difficulty shows, or shift an attitude, or engage in a different behavior.

Whatever you may do, remember that awareness is always a moment away, and mindfulness is portable it can be with us wherever we are, in any moment, at any time.
Shift Your Mind From Crisis Mode to Calm

Unchecked stress may lead to overwhelm, unhelpful coping, and burnout. When you learn to recognize the warning signs, you can take wise action to manage your stress—with a little kind attention, and a lot of self-compassion. Read More

Patricia Rockman

February 9, 2023
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March 19, 2026
Inner Calm: The Key is Letting Go
We often hear about inner calm, but it can be so much more than a fleeting moment of peace after yoga or the perfect massage. Inner calm is actually our ability to let go of attachments and reactions to life’s events, resulting in ease and clarity.

As a mindfulness skill, inner calm is the ability to let go of attachments and reactivity based on an understanding of impermanence—the changing nature of our thoughts, emotions, and desires. When we find ourselves rushing and reacting, we can remind ourselves, This too shall pass. The purpose is not to negate what we’re feeling but to put brakes on accelerated feelings. Once we return to our inner stillness, we can look at the source of our reactivity, intimately seeing its changing nature: This right here is what frees us.

Once we return to our inner stillness, we can look at the source of our reactivity, intimately seeing its changing nature: This right here is what frees us.

As a practice, inner calm is the art of stopping, looking and letting go for purposes of healing and clarity. It involves physical composure and mental tranquility. It can be seen as the ultimate balm for your soul—like a cool breeze on a hot day. Inner calm brings ease to body and mind alike. In the body, composure is experienced in the muscles and as an overall feeling of ease. In the mind, inner calm creates the space to hold everything without attachment and resistance. Conversely, the absence of inner calm may show up as restlessness in the body and agitation or reactivity in the mind.

Seeking inner calm can often leave us wanting more, but it’s ironic that true inner calm is achieved when we let go of our desires, even the desire for inner calm itself—a catch-22 if there ever was one. This paradox becomes evident when we consider the case of a client dealing with anxiety who turned to meditation as a way to ease his mind. Surprisingly, he found himself even more anxious post-meditation. He had hoped that meditation would improve his sleep, but he was left frustrated when he observed his restlessness during a body scan meditation, which only seemed to worsen his sleep problems.

The moral here? To find peace, he had to let go first of his expectations around finding peace. In order to let go, he learned to see the three hindrances to his achieving mindfulness: running in circles (a restless mind), pulling (striving to sleep), and pushing (frustrated with his restlessness). With practice, he learned to accept his restless mind, which softened the striving and frustration, and he was able to find ease, even when he couldn’t sleep, which ultimately allowed him to sleep.

Letting go of attachments to certain outcomes doesn’t, however, mean that we’re suppressing or evading challenging situations. Instead, this release occurs organically when we comprehend that emotions arise and dissolve—all within ninety seconds.

The Ninety-Second Rule

Inner calm is not about suppressing, denying, or avoiding our emotions. When we don’t give in to the urge to react, we’re cultivating the ability to stay with unpleasantness (knowing that emotions are physiological responses in the body that will arise and dissolve). Just as happiness triggered by external events doesn’t last, negative emotions also don’t last. Have you heard of the ninety-second rule? Neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor reveals in her book My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey that all emotions have a beginning, middle, and end—all within ninety seconds from when they first arise.

The reason we continue to experience negative emotions, sometimes for days, weeks, and even years, is that we continue to fuel these feelings with our narratives. Instead, if we stop and let the emotion move through our body, we’ll create space in our minds to better understand what they are trying to tell us. Rather than suppressing or using positive thinking to bypass our experience, we can form an alliance with our feelings. By doing this, we can uncover how they’re trying to protect us, address our unmet needs, or draw our attention to new information in the environment.

The ninety-second rule is a helpful reminder to ride the waves of our emotions, but emotions can sometimes be so powerful that they hijack our rational thought processes. It’s helpful in these situations to remember where those emotions come from—deep in the past, when we were hunter-gatherers facing real tigers!

How Inner Calm Supports Resilience

So much of our lives are marked by perceived threats to our identity, career, or relationships. Our primal reactions—fight-flight-freeze—can be unhelpful when it comes to navigating these everyday psychological and social stressors. What’s needed to resolve problems common to the modern world is clarity and creativity, but our reaction is the opposite—to fight, flee, or freeze. This evolutionary response to any threat is automatic and unconscious.

What’s needed to resolve problems common to the modern world is clarity and creativity, but our reaction is the opposite—to fight, flee, or freeze.

When our emotions are triggered such that we can’t think or see clearly, it’s called an “amygdala hijack”—a term popularized by emotional intelligence expert Daniel Goleman. The amygdala is the emotional center of the brain. One of its functions is to scan the environment for threats and prepare the body for an emergency response. When it perceives a threat, such as a tiger lurking in the bushes, it sends an immediate signal to release stress hormones—adrenaline and cortisol—that ramp up an emergency response. Blood stops flowing to the organs and instead floods into the limbs to prepare us for fight or flight. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for thinking and executive decision-making) shuts down because there is no time to think and analyze when we’re facing what the brain perceives as a life-threatening situation.

During an amygdala hijack, it is said that our IQ temporarily drops by ten to fifteen points. Maybe this explains that feeling after we’ve reacted to a verbal trigger: What was I thinking when I said that? That’s exactly the point. We stop thinking rationally. It also compromises memory, which is why we can’t remember a single good thing about a person with whom we have a conflict or why we can’t find our keys in the middle of a panic attack. Being in a continuous state of fight or flight from modern threats also compromises the integrity of other systems, like immunity and digestion.

Cultivating inner calm is an important step in avoiding the amygdala hijack so we can think clearly even in highly charged situations. Using practices to promote inner calm—like breath awareness—helps slow our escalating emotions and allows the parasympathetic nervous system to kick back in so we can once again think clearly. Another activity that nudges the prefrontal cortex to start thinking again is “noting” or “labeling.” The act of noting or labeling our emotions gets the prefrontal cortex to regain healthy communication with the amygdala and avoids the hijack. Inner calm offers opportunities to learn and improve or for us to provide a deeper understanding of the “what” and the “why” behind our actions. We can replace tension and misunderstanding with harmony and understanding. Inner calm is key for resilience in relationships and life in general.

Where Are You on the Inner Calm Continuum?

You can strengthen your ability for inner calm, regardless of your circumstances. First, pay attention to when you’re calm and when you’re not. Next, notice the causes and conditions that promote calm and what stops you from being calm. By cultivating a habit of calming the mind and body, you’ll develop the ability to access this place more quickly and easily.

Daily Practice: One-Minute Rest

Rested, we care again for the right things and
the right people in the right way.
—David Whyte

Take time in your day, several times a day, if possible, to empty your cup and make space for what matters. You can do this very quickly by checking in with your body.
1. Any tension or tightness in the body is a clue that you’re holding on to something that needs your loving attention. You can’t let go without knowing what it is you’re trying to let go. Just turning your attention to places you’re holding tension can help you uncover the emotions and thoughts associated with that tension.
2. Once you can see the cause of your tension, you can figure out the solution. It’s also clarifying to realign with your intentions as you’re emptying your cup—what is it you’re clearing the space for?
3. Return. Take a one-minute rest and return to your body. Rub the palms of your hand and place them on your eyes, allowing them to rest. Move your hands to your jawline, neck, shoulders, chest, or wherever feels good in your body.
4. Listen. Listen within. What can you let go of at this moment to make room for what matters?
5. Begin. Begin your activities with a relaxed body and mind aligned with what matters.
Try practicing and playing with this reminder with your family, with team members, and in your community before beginning a meeting or activity together.

Excerpted from the book Return to Mindfulness: Disrupting Default Habits for Personal Fulfillment, Effective Leadership, and Global Impact by Shalini Bahl Milne. Copyright © 2024 Shalini Bahl Milne. Republished with permission from the author. Return to Mindfulness will be available on Amazon on January 18, 2024.
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March 15, 2026