Health Journal Online

Category: Mental Health

  • The Science and Practice of Staying Present Through Difficult Times

    The Science and Practice of Staying Present Through Difficult Times

    Research suggests that when we turn towards pain and discomfort, we can experience less of it. Plus, Ed Halliwell offers a guided meditation for being mindful when things get tough.

    Research into mindfulness has shown the benefits of staying present, and of gently turning towards difficulty. Mindfulness-based relapse prevention (MBRP) trains people with addictive habits to manage their cravings mindfully by staying present to the sensations of craving, rather than trying to distract from them, avoid them or defeat them.

    The Science of Staying Present

    In a large trial of MBRP, mindfulness-trained patients drank and used drugs significantly less than those who were treated with cognitive-behavioural approaches, and a control group who attended twelve-step and psycho-education groups. The authors of the study conclude that mindfulness was the most successful approach, especially over the longer term, because it enabled patients to “monitor and skilfully cope with discomfort associated with craving or negative affect.” A similar study with smokers found that mindfulness training was more than five times as effective as a standard smoking cessation programme, as measured by abstinence from cigarettes after four months (31 per cent compared to 6 per cent). Another study has suggested that mindful people are more able to tolerate their own distress, rather than react in harmful ways.

    There are benefits to staying present with physical, as well as emotional, discomfort. Fadel Zeidan and colleagues suggest that meditation practice is associated with brain changes that indicate and reflect shifts in people’s experience of, and relationship with, pain. Meditators show decreased activity in the primary somatosensory cortex (an area of the brain involved in registering pain) and increased activity in three areas involved in the regulation of pain—the anterior insula, the anterior cingulate cortex and the pre-frontal cortex. When gently turning towards pain, people report that they experience less of it, and their resistance usually decreases. They may not get so caught up in the negative stories and evasive reactions that tend to accompany pain but do nothing to stop it (and, indeed, may increase the mind’s perception of it). This may be why people with chronic conditions have reported reductions in pain after training in mindfulness, even though they still suffer from the illness.

    When gently turning towards pain, people report that they experience less of it, and their resistance usually decreases.

    As far back as 1971, Robert Wallace and Herbert Benson found that meditation reduced activity in the sympathetic nervous system, which controls the “fight or flight” reaction. More recently, attending a mindfulness course has been shown to reduce activity and grey matter volume in the amygdala—a key indicator of how strongly this reaction is triggered. With mindfulness training also comes a thickening in parts of the pre-frontal cortex—the region directly behind the forehead—which may be connected to a strengthening of the body’s capacity to regulate stress. Connections between the amygdala and other parts of the brain weaken after mindfulness training.

    One part of the pre-frontal cortex associated with stress regulation is the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC). Poor ACC function tends to correlate with impulsive behaviour and mental inflexibility—which are both common among people who are under stress. Experienced meditators display more activity in the ACC, and better stress regulation. The capacity to self- manage during difficult situations may be trainable at a very young age. One study that tracked a group of pre-school children who attended a mindfulness programme over six months found that they were less impulsive (more able to regulate) than a group of children who did not receive the training.

    The Benefits of Leaning Into Discomfort

    Just the act of describing unpleasant experiences mindfully can have a positive effect on stress levels. In one study, people with a fear of spiders were asked to walk towards and try to touch a live tarantula. Some were invited to reassure themselves as they approached the spider, while others were advised to distract themselves from what they were trying to do. A third group was encouraged to acknowledge and turn towards their fear, saying something like: “I am frightened by the big ugly spider.” The members of this third group—those who openly stayed present to their fear— got closest to the tarantula, felt least upset by the experience, and had the least sweaty palms.

    Staying present to difficulties seems to have a significant impact on well-being. In Matt Killingsworth’s studies of wandering minds, he has found that people are less happy when their minds are distracted, even when they are engaged in an activity that we would usually describe as unpleasant. So, for instance, even though most people are not keen on commuting, they tend to be happier if their minds turn towards the experience of the journey rather than wander away from it. Other studies have suggested that setting oneself the goal of avoiding stress increases the long-term risk of depression. By contrast, if we view stress as a normal, helpful indicator—something we can handle and from which we can learn—rather than as something to eliminate, we are more likely to experience good health and emotional well-being.

    Try This 15-Minute Guided Mindfulness Meditation

    When you’ve established a stable foundation with mindfulness of breath and body you can experiment with turning towards difficulty.

    Sometimes our experience is painful and difficult. And there may be little or nothing we can do about the arising of the pain or difficulty. In these cases, we may be able to work with what’s happening skillfully by exploring our relationship to it. Most of us have a habitual pattern of turning away from problems or trying to get rid of unpleasant events. Unfortunately this often seems to increase our sense of stress, because if pain is already present, you can’t get rid of it by trying to run away from it. In mindfulness practice we gently experiment with reversing this habit by turning gently towards difficult experiences that come up in our meditation.

    This practice is usually best done in small doses at first. Preferably working with difficulties that aren’t likely to be overwhelming. It’s important to remember that you’re in charge of how you undertake this experiment. You can return to mindfulness of breathing as an anchor at any time or let go of this practice for a while if you need to, being kind to yourself.

    Note that this practice includes longer pauses of complete silence for reflection and presence. If you want more time, feel free to pause the recording as you go.

    1. Begin by settling into a dignified sitting posture. Upright, steady, grounded. Feeling the feet on the floor, bottom on the chair, spine erect shoulders dropped. Feel a sense of openness at the chest, muscles un-tensed, centered, feeling the breath in the belly. Attuning attention to sensations of the breath as it moves in and out. Being with the breath. Being in the body.
    2. And now expanding awareness to experience throughout the body. Being in the present moment with the body. Noticing what you find and allowing what’s here to be here. Especially noticing sensations in the body that are more unpleasant and difficult to be with. Maybe there’s an aching, throbbing, churning, or a tightening somewhere. There may be a physical or a more emotional tone to the sensations. If it feels helpful to label this for yourself, you could mentally say some words describing the experience: anger, pain, or restlessness, for example. Perhaps also noticing where in the body you’re feeling these tones of sensation and emotion.
    3. Now inviting you to experiment with gently taking your attention towards a region of more intense sensation. Turning towards the intensity. Being interested in the qualities of and changes in sensation from moment to moment. What increases or decreases in intensity are there? What shifts in location or texture? As best you can, staying with the direct experience of sensation and letting any thoughts about what’s happening or urges and impulses to react be held in kindly awareness in the background of the mind. Letting go of any need to try and get any kind of result here or for anything to have to change. Just gently turning towards what’s going on. And noticing what happens without an agenda. Riding the waves of experience, moment by moment.
    4. If you like you could offer a sense of breathing with the sensations, feeling them together with the rising and falling of the breath. Breathing in with sensations, breathing out with sensations.
    5. Noticing: are there any impulses to resist or pull away? Perhaps you find your attention drawn into thoughts. Rumination maybe or distraction. Maybe you find your thoughts trying to make sense of the difficulty or problem solving it or judge the success or failure of the practice by whether the intensity decreases or changes. As best you can, seeing if you can include these reactions in your noticing, allowing space for them to be experienced along with the sensations themselves—without having to buy into them or reject them.
    6. If it feels too much to be doing this it’s always okay to continue with or return to mindfulness of breathing or body or to stop practicing for a time. Gentleness is paramount here and there are no right or wrong things to happen when you try this. Just being interested in what does happen when you take your attention into a region of difficulty, moving towards it, letting the experience be observed and awareness without needing to do anything else.
    7. And experimenting now if this feels okay for you with breathing into the region of intensity. Opening further to the sensations on the in-breath and having a sense of softening on the out-breath, of letting go. This isn’t to try and change what’s happening but rather to offer a skillful relationship to it. Flowing with it. Offering space to it, allowing it. Breathing into the sensations on the in-breath, breathing out from them on the out-breath, softening, letting be, allowing.
    8. Staying present with the intensity only for as long as feels manageable for you right now. If you like you can gently move your attention away from and then back towards the intensity noticing what happens each time you work with redirecting your attention in and out. Inviting you to be like a scientist undertaking a laboratory experiment. Being interested in what happens rather than seeking a particular outcome. Coming back to mindfulness of breath or body as and when that feels right for you.
    This post was adapted from Into The Heart of Mindfulness, by Ed Halliwell, published by Piatkus). Download a set of 14 guided audio meditation practices from Ed’s books here.



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  • Is There a Time and Place for “Suck It Up”?

    Is There a Time and Place for “Suck It Up”?

    When I was a kid, my dad taught me how to do a backflip off the diving board. I was terrified, but with his encouragement, I pulled it off. Then he had me do it again—and again—until it stuck. Feeling confident, I decided to push myself and bounce higher. Bad move. I jumped high, but not far enough out, and ended up hitting my head on the diving board on the way down. Then I sank. Underwater, I saw my dad’s hand reach in to grab me. Once I was out, I burst into tears. That’s when I heard it for the first time: “Suck it up.”

    He told me to get back on the board and do it again. I was furious, scared, and confused, but his tough approach worked (ish). Though I didn’t want to, I climbed back up. I reluctantly mustered every ounce of courage and completed another backflip. Then I got out of the pool, fuming at my dad for making me do it again after I was hurt, and ran inside the house. I was pissed and I didn’t forgive him for years. Looking back, I get it now (ish). He totally could have handled it better, sure, but it was all he knew—it was his normal.

    Here’s the other thing I realized: There’s a time and place for pushing emotions aside to get through the chaos. In that moment, “sucking it up” was necessary for me to calm down, refocus, and get back on the proverbial horse. But here’s the catch: When that approach becomes your everyday norm—especially when your job is all chaos, all the time—it starts to bleed into every situation and every aspect of life, chaos or not.

    There’s a time and place for pushing emotions aside to get through the chaos—but when that approach becomes your everyday norm, it starts to bleed into every situation and every aspect of life, chaos or not.

    Calm Isn’t (Always) the Goal

    For the first responders I meet while leading Tactical Brain Training sessions, that’s the challenge. The nature of the work demands you set emotions aside to handle emergencies effectively.

    A detective once said to me, “So when someone is coming at me with a gun or knife, you want me to close my eyes, take a few breaths, and be peaceful and calm?” I replied, “Sure, if your intention is to get stabbed or shot!” (I may have cursed a bit here too.) I followed up with something like, “No, that would be the wrong move here. Instead, you can use mindfulness to complement your law enforcement training strategically …protecting yourself. And no, don’t close your eyes!”

    When the job requires you to literally place yourself in the fire, the stress that comes with it is understandable. And the trauma—whether experienced personally or from witnessing someone else’s—is inevitable. If we know that trauma is part of the job, it becomes our responsibility to address it. We train for every other aspect of the job—drawing a weapon, performing CPR, restraining someone—so why not train to manage the potential fallout? This is the gap I see between training for action and training for sustainability (that is, training to keep ourselves mentally healthy).

    Mindfulness interventions and Tactical Brain Training are not just about creating calm; they’re about regulating the nervous system, enabling someone to approach their job or their partner with purposeful actions rather than just reacting. Instead of letting emotions guide actions, mindfulness interventions train the brain’s prefrontal cortex to help guide actions. The prefrontal cortex is in charge of executive functioning: cognitive abilities such as working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control. Training this part of the brain means we’re able to operate in a responsive state rather than a reactive one.

    For first responders, veterans, and other people who face high-stress situations, having a variety of emotional regulation techniques increases access to balance. It’s about building a go-to toolbox of strategies. If one doesn’t work, toss it and try another. This isn’t about zoning out or ignoring the pain and suffering; it’s about training to tune into it while knowing you have a strategy to work your way out.

    How to “Suck It Up” With Mindfulness

    Mindfulness is not as simple as “just notice your emotions” or “just take a breath.” Asking someone who’s been trained to suppress their emotions in order to save a drowning person to suddenly feel and embrace every emotion can be overwhelming, distracting, and even frustrating. And asking someone who is highly agitated to stop what they’re doing and take a breath can be ridiculously annoying! If you ever see me write or hear me say “JFB,” this is my way of creating some levity in a stressful moment, which can have the benefit of incorporating an intervention without the associated stigma or frustration. JFB stands for Just F’ing Breathe (but I’m sure you already figured that out).

    It’s key to start small. You train your brain just as you would train your body—gradually, with manageable steps. It would be pretty dumb to start weight training by lifting 100 lbs. We need to build slowly and steadily (I’m currently at 10-lb weights—apparently I need to work on this.)

    You train your brain just as you would train your body—gradually, with manageable steps.

    For example, instead of starting with “I am so frustrated, where do I feel it in my body?” which can feel overwhelming, you can approach the mind-body connection interventions in a stepwise progression. Begin with something like: “First I want to train to feel sensations in my body, and then I will try to connect those sensations with an emotion.” It’s helpful to begin with noticing common physical sensations. Train for curiosity: “Where do I feel hunger?” “Where does fatigue show up in my body?”

    From Chaos to Emotional Regulation

    From there, you can build. Think a happy thought. What does happiness feel like in your body? And, think of something frustrating (but NOT traumatic, as there’s no need to purposefully trigger yourself here). And be curious again. Try and identify where you feel frustration. This step-by-step approach builds a foundation of awareness. By the time emotions are addressed directly, it’s no longer foreign or overwhelming. Skills have been developed to notice without being consumed.

    This is exactly why I call it Tactical Brain Training. It shifts the idea of mindfulness away from the stigma of being “emotional” and reframes it as a strategic way of thinking. The idea is not to disappear emotions in order to get the job done. It’s about creating a “suck it up container,” knowing you can return to those emotions once the chaos settles. Emotional awareness isn’t just about handling stress—it’s a tactical skill for navigating both the chaos of the job and the calm of daily life.

    Emotional awareness isn’t just about handling stress—it’s a tactical skill for navigating both the chaos of the job and the calm of daily life.

    Just like learning to backflip off a diving board, it requires practice, patience, and a step-by-step approach. And when mistakes happen—as they inevitably do—the training allows emotions to be acknowledged without letting them take control. Instead, they’re momentarily set aside, enabling clear focus to complete the task at hand.

    So many people I work with are surprised to learn that it can be this simple. I’m not saying  traumatic experiences are simple, and I’m not saying starting a mindfulness practice is easy. What I am saying is this:

    • Yes, stress and trauma are inevitable parts of the job.
    • No, you are not broken.
    • Yes, it is what it is—and now you know.
    • Yes, you can approach this in a way that feels relatable to you.
    • Now, let’s get to work! #JFB



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  • A Meditation to Help You Make Any Decision—Big or Small

    A Meditation to Help You Make Any Decision—Big or Small

    In this week’s practice, meditation teacher Toby Sola guides us through a practice to help get clarity when facing all different kinds of decisions.

    You might not think of mindfulness as being a resource to help with decision-making, but moments of intentional silence can sharpen our mental clarity and help us discern which choices feel most aligned.

    In this guided practice, meditation teacher Toby Sola offers a simple technique you can use, whether you’re facing a life-changing choice or are just feeling overwhelmed by all the smaller decisions that often crowd our busy lives.

    A Meditation to Help You Make Any Decision—Big or Small

    Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.

    Note: This practice includes long pauses of complete silence to give you time to spend in contemplation. If you want more time, feel free to pause the recording as you go.

    1. To start, lengthen your spine and relax your shoulders and arms. Sitting is great because you’re both alert and relaxed. 
    2. Take a moment to think of a decision that’s been on your mind. It can be a big one, like if you should have kids, or it can be a small one, like if you should buy peanut butter.
    3. Once you have your decision, come up with two statements: an “I will” statement and an “I will not” statement. For example, I will have kids and I will not have kids. Or, I will buy peanut butter and I will not buy peanut butter. You may have to simplify your decision in order to create I will and I will not statements.
    4. Say your I will statement a few times to yourself in your head. Don’t say it out loud, say it to yourself, in your mind. Now continue to use mental talk to list the reasons behind your I will statement. Your inner monologue may sound like this. Peanut butter is tasty. It goes well with the apples that I have. I think it’s on sale right now. Start listing the reasons for your I will statement now.
    5. Now let that go and say your I will not statement a few times. Begin listing the reasons why your I will not statement is a good idea. For example, The rest of my family doesn’t like peanut butter. It’s expensive.  
    6. Now let that go. Next, we’ll use our imagination to explore the decision. We’ll start with the I will side of things. Imagine what your future might look like if you go with the I will statement. Use your imagination to create mental pictures of this possible future. For example, if you’re considering whether to have kids, you might imagine waking up to kids jumping on your bed.
    7. Now let’s move on to the I will not statement. Use your imagination to create mental pictures of what your life might be like if you go with the I Will Not statement. Imagine how your life might unfold.
    8. Next, we’ll explore our emotional body. Bring your attention down into your body. Once again, consider the I will statement and notice if you feel any emotions. Maybe you feel excitement, joy, anxiety or nervousness. Maybe you don’t notice anything. It’s all good. Just notice any emotions that come up when you consider the I will statement.
    9. Now switch to the I will not statement. In the way that you did with the I will statement, notice any body emotions that come up with the I will not option.
    10. At this point, you may know what to do, you might not know what to do, you may realize that you need more information, or you may be realizing that you should be making another decision. Regardless of where you’re at, let’s take some time to feel good. To the best of your ability, cultivate pride and joy in your body. Intentionally smiling can help. Making decisions can be hard work, and even if we still don’t know what to do, at least we’re putting in the effort. We should feel proud of that—so smile; feel good. 



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  • Wise Engagement with the World: What to Do When You Wish Things Were Different

    Wise Engagement with the World: What to Do When You Wish Things Were Different

    Summary

    • Wise engagement starts with caring for yourself through loving, patient attention.
    • Staying present with your difficult emotions is a form of wise engagement that changes how you relate to your pain.
    • Engaging wisely with the truth that everything changes can give our actions more wisdom and clarity, helping to benefit others.

    What should you do when you feel helpless, hostile, or outraged? Maybe your spouse betrayed your trust, a friend criticized you behind your back, or your child refuses to listen. Or maybe, like many of us today, you’re heartbroken and angry about the actions of political leaders, corporations, or governments—especially when they cause harm to people, animals, or the planet.

    You’re not morally wrong and you’re not a bad person to feel the way you do, but your emotions aren’t hurting the people causing harm. They’re hurting you. They cloud your mind, contract your heart, and make it harder to act with the wisdom and clarity the world so badly needs right now.

    That’s why it’s essential to take care of yourself—not by checking out or pretending things are okay, but by meeting your pain with loving attention, patience, and kindness. This is the practice of non-hatred—the profound and deeply wise choice to relate to suffering without fueling the fires of rage, despair, or blame.

    Choosing Presence and Acceptance

    Taking care of your difficult emotions means staying present with your body, heart, and mind, even when it’s painful. You might put your hand on your heart or belly and bring your attention to the sensations, thoughts, and energies arising in you. You can gently say to yourself, “I’m here for you,” or use Thich Nhat Hanh’s powerful words: “I see you, [name the feeling], and I’m not going to leave you.” This simple act of acknowledgment softens the edges of emotional pain. You’re not trying to get rid of it—you’re learning to relate to it with openness, understanding, and tenderness. That’s how healing begins and wisdom arises.

    You’re learning to relate to emotional pain with openness, understanding, and tenderness. That’s how healing begins and wisdom arises.

    It also arises through metta, or loving-kindness. In the Buddhist tradition, this quality is sometimes translated as “non-hatred.” When you’re feeling hurt or upset with people or policies, you might not be able to wish them well. But you can choose to not wish them ill. Non-hatred doesn’t mean approving of harm. It means not letting malice or aggression take root in your own heart. It’s the wisdom of protecting yourself from the corrosive effects of hostility and ill-will while still taking meaningful action.

    Non-hatred includes compassion for your own distress and for those who are suffering. It’s rooted in the recognition that sustained anger clouds judgment, causes deep inner pain, and often leads us to act in ways that perpetuate harm rather than stop it. Choosing non-hatred allows us to respond—rather than react—with steadiness, strength, and clarity.

    Choosing non-hatred allows us to respond—rather than react—with steadiness, strength, and clarity.

    Contrary to current cultural messages, responding in this way isn’t weakness. It’s strength guided by wisdom. It means we stop harm when we can, but we do it from an undisturbed mind and a compassionate heart.

    Taking Comfort in Change

    You can also ground yourself and steady your upset with the truth of change.

    Nothing exists in isolation, and nothing stays the same forever. Even a simple wooden table is the result of countless factors: the tree, the soil, the weather, the lumber mill, the delivery system, the craftsman. Each of those conditions has its own causes.

    The same is true for suffering—personal, cultural, and global. Everything harmful or broken exists because of specific conditions. That’s good news, because if we can change the conditions, we can change the outcomes.

    Everything harmful or broken exists because of specific conditions—and if we can change the conditions, we can change the outcomes.

    That’s why your actions matter. What you think, say, and do shapes the world. Even small acts—motivated by wisdom, compassion, and non-harming—contribute to the conditions necessary for unity, generosity, and harmony. When your actions arise from steadiness and goodwill rather than reactivity, they’re far more effective. Calm, clear, and courageous responses don’t just feel better—they do better.

    You may not be able to control the actions of others or the circumstances of the world, but you can always choose to respond with wisdom and clarity.

    You begin by turning toward your distress with openness and gentleness. Then you cultivate the practice of non-hatred. And finally, you commit to using your thoughts, words, and actions to contribute to the conditions that bring benefit and avoid causing harm. You make a choice to participate in the creation of a more just, generous, and loving world—for yourself, your friends and family, and all living beings.



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  • Healthy Sleep Can’t Be Forced. Try this Sleep Meditation, Instead

    Healthy Sleep Can’t Be Forced. Try this Sleep Meditation, Instead

    Are you getting enough healthy sleep? If you’re like many of us, your answer is no. All day it’s go, go, go, then at night, when we mean to shut down, it’s not so easy. Eventually, the paradox of sleep worry kicks in: Thinking about sleep gets in the way of sleep. And not getting the rest we crave can be quite painful and can exacerbate other health problems.

    As with pretty much anything health-related, we may know better, but we don’t stick to what we’d tell our best friend: Keep to a regular bedtime and a consistent routine, and avoid whatever disrupts sleep, like caffeine, alcohol, and screens. Not that complicated, but what’s often hardest is what’s frustratingly out of our full control. Even following solid advice, sometimes we suffer through rotten nights, feeling anxious or struggling to settle ourselves.

    We have nothing but empathy for a friend with insomnia, yet as we lie awake in the dark we may not give ourselves the same degree of care. A good place to start, then, might be an adapted version of Kristin Neff’s self-compassion practice: Breathing in, say to yourself, My trouble falling asleep is a moment of suffering. Breathing out, All people have moments of suffering. And then, This is how things are right now. May I find peace and ease and a night’s rest.

    Since staying awake while we’re meditating is often a big challenge, it’s no surprise that mindfulness has been shown to promote healthy sleep.

    Since staying awake while we’re meditating is often a big challenge, it’s no surprise that mindfulness has been shown to promote healthy sleep. It’s not all that exciting to sit quietly and breathe. It can be downright boring, not to mention calming. But that’s not the whole story. Mindfulness practice encourages nonjudgmental awareness—seeing things exactly as they are, with openness and curiosity. If we accept the basic facts outlined above about what tends to lead to healthy sleep, and it contradicts how we live, it might be time to patiently explore what stands between us and change. With sleep, as with meditation practice, intentions are easier said than done. Here’s a little reflection and inventory list that may help.

    4 Sleep Routine Questions to Ask Yourself:

    1) Objectively consider your pre-bedtime routine—anything to change?
    A consistent bedtime, a quiet room, and a focus on settling down go a long way toward better sleep.

    2) Is it time to see a doctor?
    It may be unsettling visiting a doctor to find out if you have a sleep disorder, but it’s a good idea. For example, any amount of chronic snoring can disrupt sleep. Aging affects sleep too, which may be worth discussing with your physician.

    3) Are there routines other than bedtime that may help you settle? Notice your habits with screens, alcohol, or caffeine. How do you manage stress? How consistently do you exercise? Remember to have self-compassion: Don’t judge yourself for your habits, but take firm action when ready.

    4) Are you pushing yourself too hard and taking that into bed? Consider practicing non-striving while in bed. By not trying to sleep, sleep quite often arrives. Focus on the breath or the body. Notice the thoughts swirling: It’s happening again; if I don’t fall asleep soon I’ll be so tired tomorrow. Notice it all, and breathe. Maybe there’s nothing at all to do tonight except that, and to gently let go of thinking about (the) rest.

    Neither sleep routines nor mindfulness practice responds well to a heavy hand. If you set out to force yourself into sleep, you’re less likely to get a healthy sleep. If you strain for some picture-perfect mindset when meditating, you’ll create more stress and uncertainty. If you set yourself up with clear-sighted planning and patient resolve— intentionally but unforced—healthy sleep and mindfulness are both more to likely follow.

    A Guided Meditation for Healthy Sleep

    To allow you to fully experience this meditation, we recommend that you listen to the audio version. However, you can also simply read the text below. If you choose to do so, read through the entire script first to familiarize yourself with the practice, then do the practice, referring back to the text as needed and pausing briefly after each paragraph. Take about twenty minutes for the practice. You can do this practice in a seated position.

    In considering any meditation related to sleep, recognize that there’s nothing to force, and nothing to make happen.  Since striving makes healthy sleep more challenging, set out to practice without specific expectations or goals. We cannot make ourselves sleep, but perhaps, by aiming to stay settled and getting less caught up in our thoughts, we fall asleep anyway.

    For the meditation that follows, there will be no ending bell or instruction. At the end, continue to practice if you like, or hopefully enjoy a good night’s rest instead.

    1. Start while lying down, allowing your legs to rest in a comfortable posture, hip-width apart. You can place your arms by your side or your hands on your belly.
    2. Begin by noticing your breath.  Pay attention, as best as you’re able to the physical movement related to breathing, such as your belly rising and falling. Or, if you prefer, focus your attention more closely on the air moving in and out of your nose and mouth.
    3. It’s normal, expected even, to have thoughts — lots of them.  Your mind rehashes the day or gets caught up in worrying about tomorrow. Recognize those habits, and then practice letting them be. Label whatever grabs your attention, and come back again to noticing the breath. Breathing in… and breathing out.
    4. Notice if you get caught up in effort, or frustration, or fear, with compassion for yourself. Catch thoughts of self-criticism or frustration, and come back to just one breath, one more time. Thoughts are only thoughts. Breathing in… breathing out. There’s nothing you need to fix or change right now in this moment. Notice where your thoughts go, and label them “thoughts.” Come back to one next breath, over, and over again.
    5. Shift attention to sensations in your body. Start by moving your awareness to physical sensations in your feet. You don’t need to wiggle your toes or move your feet, just notice them — the temperature or the pressure of your heel against the blanket or the mat beneath you.
    6. From your feet, move your attention into your lower legs, noticing whatever there is to see. Letting go of a sense of effort or needing to make anything happen. And then from your lower legs, through your knees, and into your upper legs. If you feel any sense of stress or tension, aim to relax and let go.
    7. Then through your buttocks and pelvis, and into your belly and abdomen. You might notice a sense of your breath moving up and down, or other physical sensations, or sometimes even reflection of emotion (perhaps an emotion like fear or anger reflects in the stomach in the form of tension or tightness). And as you move from your belly and now into your chest, note each time your mind gets caught up in thoughts of discomfort or distraction. And then gently and with patience, guiding it back one more time.
    8. Move around into your back, certainly a place many of us hold tension in different ways, relaxing your muscles as best as you’re able, lowering your shoulders from your ears. If you feel a need to make an adjustment, allow that to happen with intention, pausing and choosing your next action. Shift your attention into your hands and lower arms, again without actively needing to move or change anything, observing and letting go.
    9. Then moving through your neck and into the muscles of your face, perhaps noticing any locations of tightness or pinching, and then with gentleness, as best as you’re able, relaxing those muscles. And then for a few moments, have a general awareness of physical sensations throughout your body.
    10. And now, if you’re still awake, bring your attention back to the breath, each time the mind wanders into the past or into the future, or wherever it chooses to go. If it’s a useful anchor for your attention, you can count breaths, breathing in, one, breathing out, one, breathing in, two, breathing out, two… When you reach ten, start at one again.
    11. If counting becomes a distraction, then just stay with the sensation of breathing — wherever you feel the breath entering or leaving your body, or the rising or falling of your belly and chest. Continue on your own now, counting breaths up to ten, patiently returning your attention whenever you become distracted. If you lose track of counting, that’s fine. Start over wherever you last remember.
    The Ultimate Guide to Mindfulness for Sleep 

    Sufficient sleep heals our bodies and minds, but for many reasons sleep doesn’t always come easily. Mindfulness practices and habits can help us fall asleep and stay asleep. Consult our guide to find tips for meditation, movement, and mindfulness practices to ease into sleep.
    Read More 

    • Mindful Staff
    • July 13, 2023



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  • The Nature Remedy: Find Freedom from Tech Overload

    The Nature Remedy: Find Freedom from Tech Overload

    In the summer of 2014, I participated in the first-ever digital detox retreat, Camp Grounded in Northern California.

    My camp name was Momma Zen. Each morning, I led mindfulness practice to ease the adult campers’ edgy tech cravings, guiding them through simple breath work to settle their restless minds.

    I had also joined a songwriting “play-shop.” I’d never written a song, but how hard could it be?

    Under a majestic canopy of towering redwoods, I was awkwardly front and center on the roughly hewn wooden stage, moments from belting out my just-written song “Digital Distraction Brings NO Satisfaction.” (Yes, inspired by the Stones’ classic.)

    On that last night, everyone was gathered beneath those grand old trees for our closing celebration. Unexpectedly, the young crowd of Silicon Valley techies stamped their feet loudly and cheered wildly.

    I mumbled to the musicians, “Can you play some slow funk?” Honestly, I had no idea what that was. Fortunately, they did. Then we all sang together, belting out the words:

    Digital Distraction Brings … NO Satisfaction

    Why does life often feel so empty
    When your digital feed never ends?
    Why is the night so long and lonely
    When you’ve got five thousand “friends”?

    Isolated inside children; families gone astray
    All sadly disconnected
    Forgotten how to play

    Selfies, trolling, swiping, scrolling
    Hey my friends, hear what I say
    Endless digital distraction
    Brings NO true satisfaction.

    We are living, breathing humans
    Who long to be seen
    Truly connected … heart to heart
    Face to face … not on a screen!

    Here in the redwoods, happy just to be
    Playing like kids again
    Joyously screen-free!

    That night we celebrated being free from all those notifications, the pinging and buzzing of digital demands. We were simply present. And it was glorious.

    The Lure of Digital Distraction

    You’ve probably felt that pull, too, right?—the urge to check your phone, the compulsion to scroll endlessly, the creeping exhaustion that comes from too many hours in front of a screen. Digital overload is real, and it’s quietly seeping into every corner of our lives.

    Here’s some good news: If you are already a meditator, or interested in mindfulness, you have a distinct advantage in finding freedom from tech overload.

    Dr. Michael Rich is author of The Mediatrician’s Guide and a Harvard University pediatrician who directs the Digital Wellness Lab at Boston Children’s Hospital. He has spent years studying the effects of digital media on our well-being (and is a major contributor to my book, Less Screen More Green). Threaded through all of his robust research are two major recommendations.

    Digital overload is real, and it’s quietly seeping into every corner of our lives.

    Here’s some good news: If you are already a meditator, or interested in mindfulness, you have a distinct advantage in finding freedom from tech overload.

    Make Friends With Boredom

    Dr. Rich advises not to fill most of our waking hours with digital media:

    “Bring back boredom! Perhaps the most difficult challenge to overcome in finding healthier alternatives to screens is our cultural aversion to boredom. Locked in our downward gaze, we no longer look at the world around us, or talk to each other. It’s easier to absorb the continuous feed of stimulus on our phones.”

    Balance screentime with more greentime

    “For many of us, our focus on screens has distanced us from the natural world. Albert Einstein said it well: ‘Look deep, deep into nature, and you will understand everything better.’ Time in nature is often prescribed by physicians aware of the many benefits to human health, and breaking free from tech overload. Research shows that even modest steps to spend more time outdoors can make a difference in our media use, and in our health and well-being.”

    When we keep these two maxims in mind—more boredom, more greentime—it’s easier to guide our choices as we take steps to bring more balance and sanity to our tech usage.

    Digital Detox, Made Fun: 4 Steps to Mindful Tech Use

    Dr. Rich offers four simple reminders for those moments when the pull of digital consumption feels intense or overwhelming:

    Be mindful. Use our powerful digital tools for what they do well and turn them off when they are not the best tool for the activity.

    Be balanced. Intentionally balance your screen use and non-screen activities.

    Be bored. Shake off the tendency to default to a screen and use the discomfort of nothing to do and the available space in your attentive mind to imagine the new.

    Be present. Consciously put down your devices so their near-infinite connectivity with strangers does not undermine our deep and sustaining connectedness with those we love.

    4 Practical Techniques for Freedom From Tech Overload

    1. Recognize the Early Warning Cues

    Just like we recognize hunger or thirst, we can learn to recognize the subtle (or not-so-subtle) signs of tech fatigue:

    • Eyes feeling dry or strained?
    • Headaches creeping in?
    • A vague sense of restlessness or irritability?
    • That odd, disoriented feeling when you finally look up from your screen?

    These are your body’s way of whispering, “Hey, I need a break.” Listen.

    2. Try the 20-20-20 Remedy

    One simple way to protect your eyes and refocus your mind is the 20-20-20 rule:

    Every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds.

    Your eyes will thank you, and so will your nervous system.

    3. Savor the Nature Remedy

    If you take away nothing else from this article, take this: Less screen, more green.

    Even if you live in the middle of a bustling city, find ways to step outside.

    • Drink your morning tea on the balcony.
    • Walk to a park on your lunch break.
    • Sit under a tree and just be.

    There’s something about fresh air, the movement of leaves, the simple act of looking at the sky—it resets us in a way that no digital escape ever can.

    4. Create Your Tech-Free Sanctuary

    Choose one place in your home to be completely screen-free. Maybe it’s your bedroom. Maybe it’s the dinner table. Maybe it’s that cozy corner where you like to read or meditate.

    Guard this space like a sacred garden, a refuge from the endless digital noise.

    Your Invitation to Healthier Tech Habits

    This isn’t about guilt. It’s not about demonizing technology or vowing to live like your great-grandparents. It’s about finding balance.

    Pick one of these steps and try it today. Just one.

    • Set a timer for the 20-20-20 rule.
    • Take five minutes to step outside.
    • Decide that, tonight, the phone stays out of the bedroom.

    And then, notice. Notice how you feel. Notice if you breathe a little easier. Notice if you see the people around you just a little more clearly.

    Notice how you feel. Notice if you breathe a little easier. Notice if you see the people around you just a little more clearly.

    If you do, I’d love to hear about it. Share your experience with us: What’s the hardest part of unplugging for you? What little changes have helped? Let’s start the conversation.

    And stay tuned for Part Two, where we’ll explore how to bring mindful tech habits into your workplace. Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that we can find freedom from tech overload. And it begins—always—with awareness.

    Excerpted with permission of the author from Less Screen More Green: Finding Freedom with The Mindful Tech Plans™ by Kerry Crofton, PhD. Revised and updated second edition (2025).



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  • Explore 3 Techniques in This Meditation Buffet

    Explore 3 Techniques in This Meditation Buffet

    In this week’s practice, meditation teacher Toby Sola walks us through three different types of meditations and explains what all techniques have in common.

    Have you ever wondered why there are so many different types of meditation practices, and why some of them seem to contradict each other in approach, style, or even objective?

    In today’s guided practice, meditation teacher Toby Sola walks us through three common types of meditation. Plus, he explains why the word “meditation” is very much like the word “sport”—and how all these different practices actually share the same overarching purpose.

    If you’re new to meditation or curious about trying new approaches, you’ll love this week’s practice.

    A Mindful Buffet: 3 Different Types of Meditation

    Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.

    As a meditation teacher, one of the most common questions I get goes something like this: Someone told me meditation is about focusing on your breath, but someone else told me meditation is about letting go. What gives?

    The answer to this question is simple. The word meditation is like the word sport. There are a wide variety of sports, and some sports even have contradictory rules. For example, in American soccer, you’re not allowed to touch the ball with your hands. But in basketball, you are. At the same time, there is a common thread that ties together all sports. You could say all sports develop some sort of physical strength, flexibility, and skill. Meditation is exactly the same. There is a wide variety of meditation techniques, and some of them even have contradictory instructions. But all meditation techniques develop the same core skills of concentration, clarity, and balance.

    In this meditation, I’ll give you a quick tour of three very different meditation techniques so you get a sense of what’s out there.

    1. To start, lengthen the spine. Relax the shoulders and arms. Bring your attention to what you’re hearing in your environment. Maybe you hear traffic, wind, or people talking nearby. Maybe you just hear silence. It’s all good. Just bring your attention to whatever you’re hearing.
    2. This type of practice is an example of a family of meditation techniques that I call “noting and labeling.” In noting and labeling techniques, you pick one or a few types of naturally occurring sensory experiences to focus on and simply redirect your attention if you get distracted.

      Feel free to pause the recording and give yourself extra time to practice this technique if you like.

    3. Next, we’re going to intentionally recite and focus on a positive word or phrase. Take a moment to think of a positive word or phrase. Here are some examples. The name of a positive emotion could be compassion or gratitude. An affirmation could sound like, I love you, keep going. Or, I am deserving of love. A statement about a positive behavior change could be something like, I go to the gym twice a week, or, I go to bed at 10 PM. These are just examples. Choose a word or phrase that you like. Once you’ve settled on a word or phrase, mentally repeat it over and over. Don’t say it out loud; say it to yourself in your mind.
    4. This practice is an example of a family of meditation techniques that I call “nurture positive.” In nurture positive practices, you don’t just pay attention to whatever happens to happen, like we were doing in the first part of this guidance. Instead, you intentionally create positive thoughts or feelings to focus on. Keep reciting and focusing on your phrase.

      Feel free to pause the recording and give yourself extra time to practice this technique if you like.

    5. For the third technique, we’re going to drop any kind of intentional focus. Here, you aren’t landing your attention on anything, but keeping your mind loose and unattached. If, for whatever reason, you happen to become aware of an intention to direct your attention, drop that intention. Otherwise, you don’t have to do anything.
    6. This is an example of a family of meditation techniques that I call “autofocus.” In autofocus practices, if you happen to become aware of an intention to control your attention, you drop that intention. Otherwise, you don’t have to do anything. Your experience may not be restful or particularly pleasant. It may not even seem like you’re practicing meditation at all, but you’re doing the technique perfectly when you just let whatever happens, happen.

      Feel free to pause the recording and give yourself extra time to practice this technique if you like.

    7. Notice how different, and even contradictory, the three exercises are. In the first exercise, we picked something to intentionally focus on, but we didn’t try to change it. In the second exercise, we created something positive to focus on. And in the third exercise, we dropped all intention to control our attention.
    8. This is why I say that the word meditation is like the word sport. There are a million different meditation techniques, many with contradictory instructions, but they all share the common thread of developing three core mental muscles: concentration, clarity, and balance.

    The word meditation is like the word sport. There are a million different meditation techniques, many with contradictory instructions, but they all share the common thread of developing three core mental muscles: concentration, clarity, and balance.

    1. As we wrap up, here’s the main takeaway I want you to remember. If you’re into meditation, you’ll probably listen to all sorts of guidance. If you hear instructions that contradict what you’ve heard before, that’s not a problem. Just follow along. The teacher is simply guiding you in a unique technique that you haven’t encountered before. And that’s no big deal because all the techniques develop the same core skills. Hopefully, this realization will allow you to appreciate and learn from the wide variety of meditation techniques out there. Enjoy.



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  • What Is Mindfulness? – Mindful

    What Is Mindfulness? – Mindful

    Summary

    What Is Mindfulness? The practice of being fully present and aware of your current experience—without overreacting or getting lost in thoughts.

    Core Concept: It’s an innate human ability that you can access and cultivate through practices like seated, walking, standing, or moving meditation.

    Benefits: Mindfulness enhances focus and performance, reduces stress, deepens self-insight, and fosters compassion toward oneself and others.

    Practical Insights:

    • Everyday Integration: Mindfulness can be applied through brief pauses and by merging it with activities such as yoga or sports.
    • Mind-Body Connection: Mindfulness meditation begins in the body; awareness of your physical posture and sensations is essential.

    Meditation Posture Tips:

    • Sit on a stable surface (chair, cushion, bench) ensuring your feet are grounded or legs comfortably crossed.
    • Keep your spine naturally curved, shoulders relaxed, and chin slightly dropped. Let your gaze be soft.
    • Focus on your breath and gently return your attention when distractions arise.

    What Is Mindfulness?

    Mindfulness. It’s a pretty straightforward word. It suggests that the mind is fully attending to what’s happening, to what you’re doing, to the space you’re moving through. That might seem trivial, except for the annoying fact that we so often veer from the matter at hand. Our mind takes flight, we lose touch with our body, and pretty soon we’re engrossed in obsessive thoughts about something that just happened or fretting about the future. And that makes us anxious.

    Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive.

    Yet no matter how far we drift away, mindfulness is right there to snap us back to where we are and what we’re doing and feeling. If you want to know what mindfulness is, it’s best to try it for a while. Since it’s hard to nail down in words, you will find slight variations in the meaning in books, websites, audio, and video.

    The Definition of Mindfulness

    Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

    Mindfulness is a quality that every human being already possesses, it’s not something you have to conjure up, you just have to learn how to access it.

    The Types of Mindfulness Practice

    While mindfulness is innate, it can be cultivated through proven techniques. Here are some examples:

    1. Seated, walking, standing, and moving meditation (it’s also possible lying down but often leads to sleep);
    2. Short pauses we insert into everyday life;
    3. Merging meditation practice with other activities, such as yoga or sports.

    The Benefits of Mindfulness Practice:

    When we meditate it doesn’t help to fixate on the benefits, but rather to just do the practice, and yet there are benefits or no one would do it.

    When we’re mindful, we reduce stress, enhance performance, gain insight and awareness through observing our own mind, and increase our attention to others’ well-being.

    Mindfulness meditation gives us a time in our lives when we can suspend judgment and unleash our natural curiosity about the workings of the mind, approaching our experience with warmth and kindness—to ourselves and others.

    8 Facts About Mindfulness:

    1. Mindfulness is not obscure or exotic. It’s familiar to us because it’s what we already do, how we already are. It takes many shapes and goes by many names.
    2. Mindfulness is not a special added thing we do. We already have the capacity to be present, and it doesn’t require us to change who we are. But we can cultivate these innate qualities with simple practices that are scientifically demonstrated to benefit ourselves, our loved ones, our friends and neighbors, the people we work with, and the institutions and organizations we take part in
    3. You don’t need to change. Solutions that ask us to change who we are or become something we’re not have failed us over and over again. Mindfulness recognizes and cultivates the best of who we are as human beings.
    4. Mindfulness has the potential to become a transformative social phenomenon. Here’s why:
    5. Anyone can do it. Mindfulness practice cultivates universal human qualities and does not require anyone to change their beliefs. Everyone can benefit and it’s easy to learn.
    6. It’s a way of living.  Mindfulness is more than just a practice. It brings awareness and caring into everything we do—and it cuts down needless stress. Even a little mindfulness makes our lives better.
    7. It’s evidence based. We don’t have to take mindfulness on faith. Both science and experience demonstrate its positive benefits for our health, happiness, work, and relationships.
    8. It sparks innovation. As we deal with our world’s increasing complexity and uncertainty, mindfulness can lead us to effective, resilient, low-cost responses to seemingly intransigent problems.

    Mindfulness Is Not All in Your Head

    When we think about mindfulness and meditating (with a capital M), we can get hung up on thinking about our thoughts: we’re going to do something about what’s happening in our heads. It’s as if these bodies we have are just inconvenient sacks for our brains to lug around.

    Having it all remain in your head, though, lacks a feeling of good old gravity.

    Meditation begins and ends in the body. It involves taking the time to pay attention to where we are and what’s going on.

    That approach can make it seem like floating—as though we don’t have to walk. We can just waft.

    But meditation begins and ends in the body. It involves taking the time to pay attention to where we are and what’s going on, and that starts with being aware of our body. That very act can be calming, since our body has internal rhythms that help it relax if we give it a chance.

    How to Sit for Meditation Practice

    Here’s a posture practice that can be used as the beginning stage of a period of meditation practice or simply as something to do for a minute, maybe to stabilize yourself and find a moment of relaxation before going back into the fray. If you have injuries or other physical difficulties, you can modify this to suit your situation.

    1. Take your seat. Whatever you’re sitting on—a chair, a meditation cushion, a park bench—find a spot that gives you a stable, solid seat, not perching or hanging back.
    2. Notice what your legs are doing. If on a cushion on the floor, cross your legs comfortably in front of you. (If you already do some kind of seated yoga posture, go ahead.) If on a chair, it’s good if the bottoms of your feet are touching the floor.
    3. Straighten—but don’t stiffen— your upper body. The spine has natural curvature. Let it be there. Your head and shoulders can comfortably rest on top of your vertebrae.
    4. Situate your upper arms parallel to your upper body. Then let your hands drop onto the tops of your legs. With your upper arms at your sides, your hands will land in the right spot. Too far forward will make you hunch. Too far back will make you stiff. You’re tuning the strings of your body—not too tight and not too loose.
    5. Drop your chin a little and let your gaze fall gently downward. You may let your eyelids lower. If you feel the need, you may lower them completely, but it’s not necessary to close your eyes when meditating. You can simply let what appears before your eyes be there without focusing on it.
    6. Be there for a few moments. Relax. Pay attention to your breath or the sensations in your body.
    7. Begin again. When your posture is established, feel your breath—or some say “follow” it—as it goes out and as it goes in. (Some versions of the practice put more emphasis on the outbreath, and for the inbreath you simply leave a spacious pause.) Inevitably, your attention will leave the breath and wander to other places. When you get around to noticing this—in a few seconds, a minute, five minutes—return your attention to the breath. Don’t bother judging yourself or obsessing over the content of the thoughts. Come back. You go away, you come back.
    8. That’s it. That’s the practice. It’s often been said that it’s very simple, but it’s not necessarily easy. The work is to just keep doing it. Results will accrue.

    Try This Beginner’s Mindfulness Meditation:

    A 5-Minute Breathing Meditation To Cultivate Mindfulness. This practice is designed to reduce stress, anxiety, and negative emotions, cool yourself down when your temper flares, and sharpen your concentration skills.

    Learn more About Mindfulness:

    Explore the science of mindfulness, learn how to meditate, and how to practice mindful movement, plus dispel some of the myths of mindfulness with Mindful’s Getting Started Guide.

    How to Practice Mindfulness 

    Becoming more aware of where you are and what you’re doing, without becoming overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around you.
    Read More 

    • Mindful Staff
    • December 12, 2018

    5 Simple Mindfulness Practices for Daily Life 

    Your day-to-day activities offer ample opportunities to call up mindfulness in any moment. These simple practices will breathe space into your daily routines.
    Read More 

    • Parneet Pal, Carley Hauck, Elisha Goldstein, Kyra Bobinet, and Cara Bradley
    • October 14, 2024



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  • Mindful On Set: The Righteous Gemstones’ Kerstin Schulze on Playing Sola and Staying Grounded

    Mindful On Set: The Righteous Gemstones’ Kerstin Schulze on Playing Sola and Staying Grounded

    Kerstin Schulze is a force of nature—an actor, elite fitness trainer, and founder of a performance-focused wellness company whose approach to movement is as intentional as it is powerful. Best known for her role as Sola, the mysterious German nanny with a surprising kung fu twist on HBO comedy The Righteous Gemstones, Schulze brings a unique blend of physical discipline and grounded presence to every role she inhabits (a range that also encompasses “Workout Tina” Fey for Booking.com and a killer clown on American Horror Story: Roanoke).

    In this conversation, we explore how mindfulness manifests in her training, acting process, and daily life and what it takes to stay centered while navigating high-performance environments both on screen and off.

    Angela Stubbs: You play Sola, a German nanny and kung-fu practitioner on the most recent season of The Righteous Gemstones.  Can you discuss what initially drew you to the character Sola, which characteristics you share with her, and how your day-to-day personality differs from hers?

    Kerstin Schulze: When I first received the script and audition notice for Sola, the description called for a tall, German or Scandinavian woman who could do kung fu and was very centered. And immediately, I thought—this is me. I felt such a strong connection to the character; I didn’t have to imagine how she might feel because, in so many ways, I’ve lived her experience. I’ve always been a caretaker and a nurturer at heart. Physically, I’m strong, and with over 30 years spent helping people feel better about themselves, I understood Sola’s mission on a deep level. She’s all about helping others—and that resonated with me completely.

    What I loved about Sola is that she’s grounded and nurturing, yet tough. When I built her backstory, I imagined she came from a wealthy European family where, despite having everything, she felt emotionally neglected. That gave her a purpose: to work with families, not for money, but to help children find stability and bring broken homes back together. That motivation shaped how I played her.

    I understood Sola’s mission on a deep level. She’s all about helping others—and that resonated with me completely.

    I also had a very specific vision for her look. I drew inspiration from Mrs. Bower in Frankenstein—very German, very stern, always put together. The show actually used that exact look in the final version, which I loved.

    The range they gave her made the role special—from the intense fight scenes to her emotional connection with Baby Billy in the end. That moment where she tells him, “They need you,” was so powerful. And her bond with Tiffany, this sweet, pure soul, felt incredibly meaningful. Tiffany’s innocence and sincerity brought out the protector in Sola, and I connected to the purity and depth of that relationship.

    Sola feels like such a grounded and self-aware character, and it struck me that to portray someone like her convincingly, an actor has to bring a real depth of presence and awareness. That kind of groundedness can come from life experience, mindfulness, or even physical practices like kung fu, which plays a key role in who Sola is.

    This has me wondering about the duality of preparing for the physical demands of kung fu while cultivating the inner awareness and emotional depth needed to embody Sola on set, especially amid the chaos and energy of filming.

    Even before I got the role, I was deeply involved in martial arts and mindfulness practices like meditation. I meditate daily—it’s a non-negotiable part of my life. I use it to ground myself, and I really believe in the power of positive affirmations. When my mind starts drifting into negative thoughts, I try to redirect them. That daily practice of mindfulness helped me stay centered not just in life, but especially on set, where there’s so much chaos happening around you.

    When you’re filming, there are hundreds of people on set—cameras, directors, crew—so having those tools came in handy. I could focus, block out all the distractions, and just be present in Sola’s world. It allowed me to connect deeply with who she is and to respond authentically, especially in scenes with Baby Billy. The groundedness people see in Sola on screen is the groundedness I’ve worked hard to cultivate in myself.

    That daily practice of mindfulness helped me stay centered not just in life, but especially on set, where there’s so much chaos happening around you.

    But I didn’t always have that. It started after my divorce, when I was 40. That was a turning point for me. I went to therapy, I committed to meditation, and I did a lot of inner work to understand myself more clearly. I had to ask hard questions, like why I chose a relationship that was so negative. That journey toward self-awareness changed everything for me. And now, 10 years later, I feel like the universe brought me this role because it reflects precisely where I am in life. Sola is grounded, purposeful, and strong—and so am I.

    Kerstin Schulze on Fitness and Being a Kung-Fu Nanny

    It sounds like your mindfulness and martial arts practices helped you meet Sola with a deep sense of presence, both physically and emotionally. You mentioned how much focus this role required—not just in the fight scenes but also in staying grounded amid the chaos on set. This reminds me of The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, which explores how our bodies hold onto experience and how that mind-body connection is key to healing and awareness.

    So I’m curious: Do you feel like your ability to stay grounded on set and fully embody Sola came from that long-term mind-body work you’ve done? And how has that awareness shaped the way you approach acting in general?

    Our cells hold everything—our thoughts, our emotions—they live our experiences. I’ve always been a tough woman. I had to fight to survive. So the toughness in Sola came naturally to me. What I had to work on more deeply was her softness—that quiet strength. As women, I think we’re still learning how to be both soft and strong, and how to find balance between the two.

    With Sola, she didn’t say much, but her presence spoke volumes. Her body language carried the message. I think that’s true for all of us—we can walk into a room and say so much without speaking a word. It all comes down to how grounded, mindful, and self-aware we are. And when you know who you are, you can show up authentically—you can truly listen without being in your head, already preparing your response.

    The kung-fu nanny is the brain-child of Danny McBride because, of course it is! But let’s talk about the kung fu. A lot of people meeting you for the first time might not realize you have a long background as an athlete, going all the way back to childhood. Do you feel that background made it easier to step into the physicality of Sola—especially the kung fu aspects? Or were there new challenges that came with learning and embodying that particular discipline?

    I’ve been an athlete for as long as I can remember—I competed in the Junior Olympics in Berlin when I was 12—so that background definitely helped. When I got the role, they wanted Sola to know kata (a detailed sequence of movements in karate, performed as an exercise), which I wasn’t trained in. I had done martial arts, kickboxing, weapons work with sticks and knives, but not kata specifically. So I found a kata master and trained every single day. I’m a very visual learner, so I’d study his movements, then drill them until it looked and felt authentic.

    Because of my athletic training, I pick things up quickly, and I took this seriously—knowing millions of people would see it, I wanted it to be right. I trained everywhere: in the pool, in hotel rooms, at home. Then, on set, they switched the camera angles last minute, which meant I had to improvise and adjust on the spot. Knowing the purpose behind each kata movement helped me stay grounded and adapt.

    I trained everywhere: in the pool, in hotel rooms, at home. Then, on set, they switched the camera angles last minute. Knowing the purpose behind each kata movement helped me stay grounded and adapt.

    The fight scenes were intense—we only saw a fraction of what was filmed. I had to pick up and throw someone, smash a vase on a head (fiberglass, thankfully), pull someone off a pool table, slam a head on a piano. It was all very physical. I did about 95% of my own stunts because I wanted it to feel real. All my years of strength and martial arts training really came into play.

    How many takes did you do for all of the kung fu scenes?

    The kata scene by the water was intense—it was scorching hot, and I probably ran through the routine at least 10 times just for my solo shots. Then we filmed from multiple angles, which took about half a day.

    The fight scenes were a full-day shoot. We repeated them over and over. I worked closely with the stunt coordinators—I even had to pick someone up and flip them. The only part I didn’t do myself was the final throw. I asked my stunt double to do that one because I didn’t want to risk injuring anyone. I wasn’t confident I could safely execute that move.

    You mentioned training every day for this role, but outside of acting, you also work as a trainer with everyone from actors to older adults, and you’ve developed your own program, Fitness for the Busy Lifestyle. Can you talk about how body awareness shapes the way you design workouts, and what inspired you to create something specifically for people with limited time or unique physical needs?

    Fitness for the Busy Lifestyle started from my own life—being a single mom, training clients all day, and still finding time to stay fit. I created efficient 30-minute workouts (or even 5-10 minute routines) that work for busy people, travelers, and those with injuries or stress. It’s all about working smarter, staying consistent, and building strength to support your body long-term.

    There’s a saying—everyone should meditate for 10 minutes a day, and if you don’t have 10 minutes, you should meditate for an hour. The point is, the busier or more stressed you are, the more you probably need that pause. And I think the same applies to movement. Sure, there are days when injuries or time constraints make it hard, but that doesn’t mean doing nothing. Even a few minutes of mindful movement—like leg lifts in the kitchen or squats at your desk—can make a difference.

    The same is true for meditation. People often feel that if they don’t have 30 minutes, it’s not worth it. But even one minute of conscious breathing can shift your state. Just paying attention to the breath—how it feels coming in and going out—grounds you.

    How you start the day is everything, but most people underestimate it. I always tell my clients to be grateful before they even get out of bed. Be grateful that you woke up, that you can walk, open your fridge, and step outside. Just those small moments of mindfulness can completely shift your mindset.

    Starting your day with gratitude grounds you. That’s what meditation is—coming back to what matters. Breathing. Being alive.

    Starting your day with gratitude grounds you. That’s what meditation is—coming back to what matters—breathing, being alive. Everything else—goals, money, pressure—is just noise. Life is fragile. We forget that. We chase so much, but real peace comes from connection, presence, and treating our bodies and minds with care.

    So why wouldn’t we take five minutes to speak kindly to ourselves? To move? You don’t need a gym. You can do curls sitting down or glute work while folding laundry. It’s all in how you choose to see it.

    Choosing Growth Over Fear

    On a bigger-picture level, when it comes to memorizing lines, do you have any mindfulness practices or physical habits that help you stay grounded? Are you someone who struggles with memorization, or do you have any go-to tips or tricks for running lines—especially if you’re feeling stuck or under pressure?

    The best way I learn lines is through mindful movement—I walk or exercise while running them. On set, you’re never just sitting still delivering a line; you’re always doing something. So learning lines while moving helps make it feel more natural in performance.

    Another big part of it is understanding the meaning behind the words. Even if I don’t remember every word exactly, if I know what I’m trying to say and what I’m trying to get from the other person in the scene, it comes through. It’s all about the objective—why am I in this scene, what’s my character trying to accomplish, and how does that move the story forward? When you’re clear on that, and the writing is strong, the lines tend to flow naturally.

    That said, I also record my lines and listen to them on repeat, like music—sometimes even while I sleep. And I read the script over and over until it’s just in me. The repetition helps it feel authentic, like second nature.

    A big breakthrough for me was realizing it’s not just about learning lines, but truly understanding what I’m saying, just like in meditation, where slowing down forces you to hear yourself, which can be scary for some.

    Fear of being alone with our thoughts is real. The mind doesn’t just slow down because we want it to—and we can’t turn it off. But instead of attaching to every thought or emotion, we can observe them, name them, and let them pass like weather, creating distance between us and the story we tell ourselves.

    No, the mind never fully shuts off—absolutely. I always say 10% is what happens to us, and 90% is how we respond. Our mind might stay busy, but our awareness—our conscious state—decides what we do with that. So if I feel anxious, I’ll ask myself: Why? Maybe I have too much on my plate. Then I know I need to breathe, talk to someone, or take a step back.

    When I created Sola and then found myself on set with all these A-list stars, there were definitely moments of impostor syndrome. But I’ve realized that those feelings tend to come right before growth.

    Same with sadness. Instead of labeling it as negative, I allow it. I ask myself: What’s behind this feeling? And I give myself a 10-minute pity party if I need to—but then I move on.

    The last thing I want to ask is: If you could share one mindful insight that’s helped you bring Sola to life, or one that’s guiding you in your own life right now, what would it be?

    Through Sola, I’ve learned that when we feel that overwhelming imposter syndrome, it often just means we’re leveling up.

    When I created Sola and then found myself on set with all these A-list stars, there were definitely moments of impostor syndrome. But I’ve realized that those feelings tend to come right before growth. Every time I’ve felt that doubt, it’s actually been a sign I’m stepping into something bigger.

    So now, instead of resisting it, I embrace it. I remind myself: I can do this. I was just offered another role in a feature film, and in the past, I might have second-guessed myself. But now, I approach it with gratitude and without judgment.

    I think we grow into our next chapters by stepping into the unknown. And that unknown can be beautiful—because you learn, you stretch, and you evolve.

    With Sola, some parts felt familiar, but others were totally new. I’ve never been a nanny or a kung fu master, and I’ve never had to deal with someone like Baby Billy! But I embraced it. And that’s the biggest lesson: Embrace what comes, learn from it, and don’t judge yourself along the way.



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  • Let It Go: How to Practice Forgiveness

    Let It Go: How to Practice Forgiveness

    When you’ve been hurt by someone, it’s not always easy to let it go. But holding on to a grudge will only make you feel worse—and not just emotionally. Resentment can cause your blood pressure to spike and trigger the release of stress chemicals that can make you physically sick. And the truth is: It doesn’t really do any good anyway. As the saying goes: “Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

    The paradox is, when you’ve been wronged, forgiveness is the only thing that provides relief from the pain. Sound like a bitter pill to swallow? Read on to learn how to practice forgiveness of others (and yourself), helping you release the heavy burden of resentment and experience more freedom.

    1. Understand forgiveness

    Before you attempt to force forgiveness on your most tender hurts, consider what it is you’re asking of yourself: Forgiving doesn’t mean that you condone what happened or that the perpetrator is blameless. It is making the conscious choice to release yourself from the burden, pain, and stress of holding on to resentment.

    Forgiving doesn’t mean that you condone what happened or that the perpetrator is blameless. It is making the conscious choice to release yourself from the burden, pain, and stress of holding on to resentment.

    2. Feel your pain

    Hurts can run deep, even if at first glance they don’t seem to make a big impact. It’s important to give yourself permission to acknowledge and honor the pain that’s very real for you. Notice where you feel it in your body and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Maybe you need to feel supported, take more time, or do something kind for yourself. Allowing space for the pain in this way can help you know whether you’re ready to release it from your heart and mind.

    3. Name it

    Whether you’ve hurt yourself or have been hurt by another, allow yourself to be honest and simply name the feelings that are there. They might include guilt, grief, shame, sorrow, confusion, or anger. As you consider the act of forgiveness, any of these feelings can arise. A study at UCLA found that when you name your emotional experience it turns the volume down on your amygdala, the emotion center of the brain, and brings resources back to your pre-frontal cortex, the rational part of your brain. So, by naming the feeling you can create space and not get overwhelmed.

    4. Let it out

    Keeping hurt feelings bottled up only causes additional stress to your mind and body. Even if the memory is difficult to confront, see if you can share how you’re feeling. You can write about it in a journal or talk about it with a friend or a professional counselor. Sharing helps you expand your perspective, and perhaps even see what happened through a different lens.

    5. Flip your focus

    If possible, see if you can flip your focus from being the victim to putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. For example, consider the life the person lived that led them to this hurtful action. This is difficult to do, but remember, you’re not condoning any action. This exercise is just about trying to see that, as humans, we are deeply impacted by our own traumas and life experiences, which greatly inform how we show up and act in the world. If you are able to do this, compassion naturally tends to flow from this more understanding perspective.

    6. Take action (start small)

    Whether you are forgiving yourself or another person, taking action can help to facilitate healing and make you feel more empowered. It’s best to start with smaller misdeeds to get into practice and feel what’s possible. Writing a letter or having an uncomfortable conversation can be difficult and even scary, but often a sense of empowerment emerges from the self-compassionate action of listening to yourself and doing something that supports you.

    7. Remember, you’re not the first or last

    When you’ve been hurt, it’s common to feel like you’re the only one who has ever been wronged in this way. In fact, it’s likely that this transgression (or something similar to it) has been made many, maybe even millions of times before throughout human history. Making mistakes is part of our shared human experience. Remembering you are not alone in experiencing this kind of pain can help to loosen your grip on your resentment.

    8. Have patience; forgiveness is a practice

    Forgiveness isn’t a quick-fix solution. It’s a process, so be patient with yourself. With smaller transgressions, forgiveness can happen pretty quickly, but with the larger ones, it can take years. As you begin with the smaller misdeeds and then move onto the harder ones, be kind to yourself, take deep breaths, and continue on.

    9. Stop blaming

    We all know it can feel good now and again to complain to a friend—misery loves company, right? Well, not exactly. Researcher Brené Brown, author of Rising Strong, says, “Blaming is a way to discharge pain and discomfort.” It gives us a false sense of control but inevitably keeps the negativity kicking around in our minds, increasing our stress and eroding our relationships.

    10. Practice more mindfulness

    A recent study surveyed 94 adults who had been cheated on by their partners, and found a correlation between traits of mindfulness and forgiveness. In other words, it can be said that the more you practice mindfulness, the more you strengthen your capacity for forgiveness.

    11. Find meaning and strength through your pain

    As you practice working with the pain that’s there, you grow key strengths of self-compassion, courage, and empathy that inevitably make you stronger in every way. As psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning, even in the most horrific and painful circumstances, we have the freedom to create meaning in life, which is a powerful healing agent.

    How to Practice Forgiveness: A Mini-Meditation

    Try this short practice once a day and feel your forgiveness muscles growing.

    1. Think of someone who has caused you pain (to start, maybe not the person who has hurt you most) and you’re holding a grudge against. Visualize the time you were hurt by this person and feel the pain you still carry. Hold tightly to your unwillingness to forgive.
    2. Now, observe what emotion is present. Is it anger, resentment, sadness? Use your body as a barometer and notice physically what you feel. Are you tense anywhere, or do you feel heavy? Next, bring awareness to your thoughts; are they hateful, spiteful, or something else?
    3. Really feel this burden associated with the hurt that lives inside you, and ask yourself:
      “Who is suffering?
      Have I carried this burden long enough?
      Am I willing to forgive?”
      If the answer is no, that’s OK. Some wounds need more time than others to heal.
    4. If you are ready to let it go now, silently repeat these phrases: “Breathing in, I acknowledge the pain. Breathing out, I am forgiving and releasing this burden from my heart and mind.”
    5. Continue this process for as long as it feels supportive to you.

    This article appeared in the April 2017 issue of Mindful magazine.



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