Feeling overwhelmed is a common trigger for my anxiety attacks. A project doesnât go as well as Iâd hoped or I miss a deadline, and fear and insecurity rise in my mind and body. âIâm going to be judged and found wanting,â goes the narrative. âThey wonât want to work with me again. Who was I anyway to take on such a job? Iâm an imposter. I always fall at the last hurdle.â My heart starts racing, my stomach churns, my muscles stiffen. These sensations are unpleasant, so I tense up further in an unconscious attempt not to feel them, even while my attention is pulled in their direction. Oh no, says a new thought. Why am I getting so anxious and blocked.
With so much energy expended internally, thereâs less available to attend to daily matters. Panic may set in. âNow I canât get any other work done,â my mind laments. âItâs the old cycle downwards again. Iâm cursed with depression.â The familiar pressure builds up in my nose and chest, making it difficult to access any other feelings, and the negativity starts to spiral: I wonât be able to cope, Iâll be left with no money, no energy, unable to dig myself out of this hole. The doom-mongering thoughts fuel even more anxiety. It could go on indefinitelyâa self-fulfilling prophecy.
With so much energy expended internally, thereâs less available to attend to daily matters.
But hang on a minute. If these thoughts are just thoughtsâand probably mere projections, tainted by the negative bias that comes especially at times of stressâthen thereâs no need to follow them. Anxiety is a feeling, and I know that feelings come and go. Yesterdayâs thoughts and feelings were different, so whoâs to say my internal weather isnât due another change? There are patterns of experience, for sure, but this moment is just a vibration of energy experienced in consciousness, created by constellations of events in the mind, body, and outside world around a so-called âmeâ that in reality has no fixed location. Ideas in the mind are in flux, sensations in the body are in flux, and the trigger events are already receding into memoryâno more than traces of causal energy that set the winds of mental and physical habit blowing. Suddenly, with this shift in perspective, thoughts, and feelings are no longer facts, and thereâs not even a solid, single, separate âmeâ to feel upset or hurt by them. There is just experience, happening on and on. Itâs painful experience right now, to be sure, but just energy in motion nevertheless. Iâm changing from moment to moment, tooâeverything is in flow, as it always is. This wonât stay the same, and nor will I.
âNo Feeling is Final.â
Rainer Maria Rilke once said: âLet everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.â We can make it even less personal. Just let everything happen (drop the âto youâ)âwatch and feel each aspect of the mindâbodyâworld show play out on the stage of consciousness, experiencing it all with interest and kindness in the knowledge that the moment is already and inevitably on its way to becoming something else. If the energy is allowed to play out by itself, the next moments are less likely to be conditioned by misguided attempts to turn what is flowing into something solid, or to push away what is here so itâs no longer part of the moment. Neither solidifying nor separating from the moment can ever be successful, because the moment is always both here and in transition. But if there is no depression to get stuck in, and no self to get hurt, then everything in mind, body, and life can flow like an undammed river, with energy streaming through without the defensive psychic barriers that serve only to turn that energy in on itself.
By shifting perspective and approachâexperiencing without grasping and resistanceâthis moment has already become different from how it might have been.
Negative thoughtsâas well as the bodily symptoms of fearâmay still be present. But they are not âmineâ any more. They just areâpresent remnants of past events that do not need to be turned into unnecessary future suffering. By shifting perspective and approachâexperiencing without grasping and resistanceâthis moment has already become different from how it might have been.
A Mountain Meditation to Help You Shift Out of Panic Mode
This mindfulness practice, often referred to as âthe mountain meditation,â can help us center in our bodies especially in the midst of lifeâs shifting swirls. By imagining and then embodying the steadiness of a mountain, weâre training in being present to the weather of the world, as well as to our own internal weather: our thoughts and sensations.
1) Settle into an upright, comfortable sitting posture. Present and awake. Gentle and steady. Connected to the ground below. Body rising up into the air.
2) Imagine in your mindâs eye a beautiful mountain. It could be a mountain youâve climbed or viewed from a distance, or perhaps one youâve seen in a film or picture. Or maybe one youâve just conjured up in your mind. Either way, visualize a mountain that for your embodies majesty and magnificence, full of natural wonder.
3) Notice the awesome qualities of the mountain: See in your mind how its foot is grounded firmly in the earth and how it rises up into the air unapologetically and fully taking its place in the landscape. Bring awareness to its solidity, its stillness, its strength, and its size. Come day or night, storm and sun, winter and summer, the mountain abides in the space, sitting still in its landscape, unwavering whatever the weather. It doesnât have to do anything. It just is. A beautiful mountain. Amazing just by its very existence. And whether itâs sunny, snowing, blowing a gale, hot, warm, cool, or cold, the mountain just is there, sitting present.
4) Notice your own mountainous qualities as you sit here. Just like the mountain is plugged into the earth, so your feet are connected to the ground. Your body rising upwards like the body of the mountain. Your head rests on your shoulders like the peak of the mountain and you can be here, fully present like the mountain sits in its space. Your body and being as miraculous as the mountain that evokes such wonder just by its presence. Like the mountain, being an embodiment of stillness, solidity, beauty, without having to do anything else.
There may be weather going on of course: events in life, thoughts, and sensations ebbing and flowing in the internal and external environment. Whatever the weather, just for now, practice being a âbreathing body mountain.â Naturally wonderful, whether the weather seems pleasant or unpleasant. Let the climates of the world happen: being rained on, shined on, snowed onâstay present as best you can to whatever comes.
5) When the mind wanders, invite attention back to the sense of being a mountain or if you prefer, let your attention rest on the mountain in your mind for a while before returning to sensations in the body. Let go of the need to feel a particular way. If you donât feel mountainous, thatâs fine.
This practice invites you to cultivate a quality rather than fabricate a feeling: just being a âbreathing body mountain.â









