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Sorting through and letting go of physical objects we no longer need teaches us about all the things we’re holding onto. As Barry Boyce realizes, it can also help us find kinder, wiser ways of decluttering our mind.
Every Friday for the past two months, together with a couple of friends I’ve enlisted, I’ve been spending half the day going through stuff and sending it away—either to donation bins, friends, recycling, or the landfill. Don’t get me wrong. This is not a Marie Kondo-type thing. I’ve got a long way to go before my place would reach the pinnacle of utter simplicity she asks us to aspire to.
I’m also not a hoarder, though. I’m just a middle-of-the-pack accumulator of stuff who has lived in the same place for 35 years, where we’ve raised some children, had some home offices, and indulged my predilection for kitchen gadgetry.
I’ve done several purges before, but this one I’ve been putting off for far too long, surrounded by nests of stuff beckoning to me: What’s going to happen to me when you’re gone. When I told some friends about it, they put me on to Margareta Magnusson’s book with the gruesome title The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter. Yikes. I could not bring myself to label what I was doing as Swedish Death Cleaning. That’s just a little too on the nose.
I also learned from friends who blazed this path before me that there’s lots of stuff nobody, including my children, wants. They don’t want the furniture I inherited from my parents (too old fashioned and no room for it anyway in the smaller-footprint places they live in), and their lifestyle has little to do with heirloom china, silver, and crystal. An article in Forbes confirmed that I’m far from alone. Apparently, says the magazine, all my furniture is lumped under the category of “brown pieces,” and nobody wants old brown pieces.
This time around, though, I haven’t even gotten to the furniture: I was drowning in shelves and shelves of books, ancient records, mementos and souvenirs, old clothes and shoes, orphaned pieces of hardware, toys and games, and small mountains of obsolete electronics and mysterious cords and connectors. At times, when I wasn’t pulling my hair out trying to decide what to keep and what to discard (thank heaven for having friends there to break me out of that trance), I could crack a smile and remember George Carlin’s bit on stuff:
A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you’re taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody’s got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff … That’s what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get…more stuff!
In the middle of all this something surprising happened. Something kind of wonderful. I started to see past the stuff, to understand that objects take on meaning we cling to, but when that meaning is stripped away it becomes what it is: simply stuff. It’s the Buddhist principle of emptiness, which isn’t about a gaping black void, but rather about how the things of our world are empty of the deep meaning we attach to them. That old sweatshirt I loved so much is now nothing more than a rag
Then, there’s the stuff of the mind, and that’s where the wonderful part comes in. Just as our worldly abode collects clutter, so too does our mental abode. It fills up with old ideas and viewpoints, grudges, regrets, hates and loves, opinions and mythologies, and memories of things we’ve done wrong that we sweep under the rug. Stuff we may not have looked at in a long time. But make no mistake: It’s there and it can guide our behavior.
It can be just as valuable, and probably more so, to do some “Swedish Death Cleaning” with the clutter in our mind. As I started to embrace this fact—not for the first time in my life but more so this time—I began to appreciate the lightening and freedom that can come from going through my old mental stuff and doing some aerating and discarding. Every spiritual tradition has some form of going through your stuff, often called confession or atonement, and twelve-step programs ask one to make a “searching and fearless moral inventory.”
Just as our worldly abode collects clutter, so too does our mental abode. It fills up with old ideas and viewpoints, grudges, regrets, hates and loves, opinions and mythologies, and memories of things we’ve done wrong that we sweep under the rug. Stuff we may not have looked at in a long time.
Just how we approach the old mental stuff we’re holding is critically important, though.
For the icky and even ugly stuff we unearth, it’s so easy to beat ourselves up about it, which we falsely think will help matters. In fact, though, we need to forgive first, because if we don’t, the aggression we wield blocks out the light we need to shine on what we’ve done and how we’ve been holding it. If we get past the knee-jerk aggressive response, we may be able to see what we can learn from the past, repair anything that may be reparable, and then send that old mental stuff to the recycling bin.
Decluttering the place where you live can bring spaciousness into your home. Decluttering what’s clogging up your mind lets space into every corner of your life.
10 things you learn from having a mindfulness practice that help foster resilience in the face of whatever life brings.
Here’s what I know from my practice. I know that:
1. Things change. Emotions change, thoughts change, the breath changes. Nothing is static. And ideologies change; political movements come and go. And if I try to hold on to the way I think things are supposed to be, I will surely suffer.
2. That doesn’t mean I can’t have opinions. It is not UN-mindful to deeply want the world to be a certain way.
3. It’s normal to feel any emotion right now: despair, betrayal, outrage, loss… Someone else is feeling elation, joy, and righteousness. Or maybe you’re feeling nothing—shock or numbness. Mindfulness tells us to be open to any emotion as it is part of the human condition. But the more important question is, how can I practice with it?
4. Practicing with my emotions means—feeling them in my body in vivo. Can I feel my stomach clenched? Can I feel my heart racing? What is happening right in this moment, in my body? When I can feel it, without trying to change it, I can allow the emotion to be. I can make space for it, without getting overwhelmed.
5. The same with thoughts: When I’m entangled in my worries for my child, or my worst-case scenarios, I can remember to return to the present moment. What do I feel right here, right now? My toes on the floor. My breath in my belly. That’s all there is right now. I can prevent thoughts from snowballing out of control just by returning to the present moment.
6. Equanimity—balance and even-mindedness are the fruit of mindfulness practice. The more I sit with my inner experience without reactivity, the more I foster resilience in the face of whatever life brings.
The more I sit with my inner experience without reactivity, the more I foster resilience in the face of whatever life brings.
7. This does not mean I don’t act. That is a misunderstanding. It means that I do act, but act with awareness. When I act out of anger or fear, I’m not usually happy with the results. I know this. Acting from equanimity leads to wiser and more skillful actions. But I need to take my time with this. Appropriate action may not be evident immediately.
8. Peace begins with me. The peace activist A. J. Muste said, “There is no way to peace, peace is the way.” The only way to promote peace is to be it. Now. Through my practice.
9. Having my meditation practice is the single healthiest thing I can do right now. Having a place to cultivate more capacity to accept change, work with my emotions and thoughts, and cultivate equanimity is what is going to get me through.
10. Kindness is what matters. In our deeply divisive world, so many of us are at odds with each other. It’s time for us to practice regular acts of kindness—to listen deeply to ourselves and to others. Our meditation practice teaches us not to turn people into enemies, that we are all connected. Can we dig deep within us to find a way to kindness, even in polarized times? I know we can.
While many of us lean on mindfulness to help us through times of inner and outer chaos, we can cultivate the greatest resilience through consistency in our practice, even when it doesn’t feel urgent.
In this practice framework, each letter of the word “breath” serves to remind us of our responsibility to honor and promote equity.
To begin this practice, let’s ground ourselves in deep gratitude. Gratitude for all those who have come before us and those who have paved the way for us to sit in this moment with a sense of relative safety. Whose tireless efforts allow us to be and move within the spaces we navigate each day. Acknowledging the responsibility we also share in making the world a better place than we found it. In this way, we can recognize our own sense of belonging as we take time now at the start of our practice to breathe for belonging.
In this mindfulness framework, each letter of the word “breath” serves to remind us of our responsibility to ourselves and to others to honor and promote equity. “B” invites us to breathe for belonging. “R” for restoration and renewal. “E” to exercise equity. “A” to activate and advocate. “T” asks us to trust the power. “H” is for healing.
Change ripples out from the places we heal ourselves, writes editor-in-chief Heather Hurlock. And when we connect, we’re capable of great things.
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Point of View Podcast Episode 7: Exploring how we’re missing out on the joys of our rich human community, and how mindfulness can help us dismantle the subtle patterns and habits that separate us from each other.
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Relationships of all kinds are dynamic. There are ups and downs, seasons of flourishing, and seasons that feel frustrating and dry. Whether romantic, familial, or platonic, they all require care, attention, and intention to thrive.
Our days are so filled with obligations, pressures, and distractions. It’s easy to slip into autopilot, where communication becomes transactional, and moments of connection feel few and far between.
Before we know it, we’re just not connecting in the ways we need the most. Communication might feel tense or rushed. Resentment can build up. Where we long to feel trust and easy intimacy, we might feel distance.
When connection feels thin, there’s usually a main culprit: We’ve forgotten how to be fully present with this person we care about so much. If we’re wrapped up in the past, holding on to frustrations or grievances, we’re more likely to miss moments of potential gratitude, closeness, and support. If we’re caught up in worry about the future, we’re more likely to miss the goodness that abounds in the here and now.
The newly launched Relationship Affirmations Deck explores the many ways in which mindfulness offers a powerful antidote to this disconnect. By incorporating mindfulness into our relationships, we can cultivate deeper understanding, empathy, playfulness, and appreciation for those we hold dear.
Whether you’re looking to reconnect after a period of distance, or you just want to build on what you already have, mindful relationship practices can help. Let’s look at four mindful ways to nourish connection in your relationships, helping them grow stronger and more fulfilling over time.
Here’s a question to gently ask yourself: How often do I truly listen to others without planning a response, letting my thoughts wander, or interrupting? It’s more challenging than you might think.
Active listening is a cornerstone of mindfulness in relationships, requiring full presence and an open heart.
Active listening involves giving your undivided attention to the speaker, genuinely seeking to understand their perspective. This means suspending judgment, refraining from offering solutions unless asked, and showing that you value their words.
Here are three ways you can boost your active listening skills.
By practicing active listening, you create a reliable space for your partner or loved one to share openly, which strengthens trust and intimacy.
In long-term relationships, it’s easy to take the other person for granted. Over time, we may focus more on what’s lacking or on minor annoyances than on the things we admire about our partner, family members, or close friends.
Gratitude shifts attention to the positive aspects of your relationship, reminding you of the qualities and experiences you cherish. When expressed regularly, appreciation fosters feelings of being seen, valued, and loved.
At first it can feel awkward to be intentional about gratitude. Calling out specific examples might even feel a little silly. But this practice has been shown again and again to shift our perspective, to sharpen our awareness of all the goodness around us and all the ways we’re held up and supported. All of this makes us better friends, partners, parents, and co-workers, deepening the bonds we share.
If you want to boost your experience of gratitude and aren’t sure where to begin, here are three simple strategies that can get you started.
When gratitude becomes a habit, it acts as a glue that holds your relationship together through ups and downs. Over time, noticing what’s working becomes the default. When frustrations or disappointments occur—which they inevitably will in our imperfect human relationships—you’ll have this large bank of truthful, positive reminders to draw from.
Relationships thrive on shared experiences, but the depth of connection depends on how present you are in those moments. Whether it’s a dinner date, a weekend hike, or simply watching a movie together, mindfulness can transform routine activities into meaningful bonding opportunities.
It’s easy to assume that spending time together automatically equals connection. But proximity isn’t the same as presence. You can sit next to someone for hours and still feel a million miles apart. What transforms time into connection is being fully there.
“Being present” is a phrase you’ll see a lot in mindful spaces. While it can sound a little vague and New Agey, in reality, it’s a very practical approach to investing in our ordinary, everyday lives.
When we talk about being fully present, what we mean is that we’re marshaling our attention on purpose. That looks like putting our focus on the person we’re with, opening our ears and our hearts to them. It also involves being in our bodies—noticing sights, sounds, smells, and sensations—instead of always stuck in our heads and the stories we get hooked on. We’re not getting caught up in something that happened earlier or something that’s going to happen later. When our attention drifts, which it will, we just gently bring it back.
When you’re fully present, even mundane moments become an opportunity for connection. Presence fosters intimacy, as it shows the person you’re with that they are worth your undivided attention.
There are so many fun and creative ways to build shared experiences. Here are just a few ideas you can try:
One additional benefit of intentional presence? We remember things more vividly. By being fully present during shared experiences, you create memories that are rich in connection and joy.
No relationship is immune to conflict or mistakes. In these moments, the way we respond determines whether we drift apart or grow closer. Practicing compassion and forgiveness is a mindful approach to navigating challenges while strengthening the bond between you.
Compassion involves understanding and caring for your partner’s feelings, even when you disagree or feel hurt. It’s about recognizing their humanity and approaching difficulties with kindness rather than judgment.
Forgiveness is an emotionally-complicated and often-misunderstood concept. People sometimes fear that forgiveness is the same as saying what happened was okay, or that it means we “forget” or pretend it never happened. That isn’t the case with healthy forgiveness.
Holding onto resentment creates barriers to intimacy. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning hurtful behavior, but rather letting go of the emotional weight it carries, so you can move forward together.
Studies have shown that a regular mindfulness practice makes forgiveness easier, in part because it expands our compassion and makes seeing another perspective less difficult. Here are five habits that foster real, healthy compassion and forgiveness.
Compassion and forgiveness aren’t always easy. Some might say that these can be the most challenging part of a mindfulness journey, but they are what allows relationships to grow through challenges rather than crumble beneath them.
Mindfulness in relationships isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence—about showing up, over and over, in small but meaningful ways. When we listen deeply, express gratitude, share moments with presence, and choose compassion, we create a relationship that feels alive, tender, and worth tending to.
And here’s the beautiful thing: every moment is a chance to begin again. So, whether you’re navigating a tough season or just looking to strengthen what’s already good, start small. Start today. The relationships that matter most are worth it.
If you’re looking for a wonderful companion product that can support your journey to mindful, meaningful connection, you’ll love our new Relationship Affirmations card deck.
This deck provides a simple reminder that brings your attention back to gratitude, compassion, honest communication, and healthy interactions. Whether used alone or with a loved one, these cards can provide the gentle structure and support to help you grow your relationships with care and intention.
In times of deep division and uncertainty, many of us feel pressure to “move on” or “come together” quickly, before we’ve properly processed our feelings. This tendency to rush past our emotions can lead to superficial healing at best, and deeper wounds at worst. True healing—whether personal or collective—begins with creating space to process post-election emotions by feeling what we feel without judgment.
Before we can heal, we need to recognize how we might be bypassing our emotions. Which of these patterns feel familiar?
True healing—whether personal or collective—begins with creating space to feel what we feel without judgment.
Now that you’ve recognized your patterns of avoiding discomfort, the next step is simple but powerful: pause. This means temporarily stepping away from our habits of constant doing, fixing, and analyzing.
Consider this an invitation to:
While pausing is essential, healing also requires active practices that engage our body and senses. Research offers clear guidance on what works.
Find your own ways to intentionally create spaces for healing with activities that engage your sensory awareness—for example, cooking, making and listening to music, painting, writing, and other art forms. You may enjoy these activities on your own or in community.
In particular, two evidence-based strategies to heal and manage stress are being in nature and moving our body.
Research shows our innate connection to nature (biophilia) has real healing effects. A landmark study found that hospital patients with views of nature recovered faster and needed less pain medication than those facing brick walls. Even brief nature encounters can reduce stress hormones and improve well-being.
Try these science-backed nature practices:
If running, yoga, or other sports don’t speak to you, try dancing. Dance therapy research shows movement helps process emotions trapped in our bodies. Dance is known to promote emotional, social, cognitive, physical, and spiritual integration leading to improved health and well-being.
When we feel stuck, simple movement can shift our state:
Now that we’ve explored ways to pause and engage in healing practices, let’s bring it all together with a guided meditation that helps us return to ourselves, listen deeply, and begin taking mindful action.
Too often, we finish a meditation session and then rush back into life without taking time to reflect and listen to our needs. Not taking this time means we’re more likely to default to our usual ways of thinking and reacting in the real world, despite our best intentions. Before we begin our interactions, it’s important to remember to return to our intentions and insights.
Healing can’t be rushed. By creating space for our emotions now, we build a stronger foundation for whatever comes next.
Let’s practice together, with three steps: return, listen, and begin.
The first step in mindfulness meditation is to stabilize the mind by returning to an anchor, whether it’s the feeling or sound of your breath, body sensations, or sounds in the environment. For a few minutes let go of any rushing, judging, or striving.
Take a few deep breaths, letting your exhales be slow and complete. Now let your breath find its natural rhythm. Notice the sensation of breathing—perhaps the slight coolness of air at your nostrils, or the gentle rise and fall of your chest.
As you sit here, become aware of the points of contact between your body and your seat, your feet and the floor. Feel the support beneath you. When your mind wanders to election concerns or other thoughts, gently acknowledge them and return to these sensations of support and breathing.
Now scan your body slowly, noticing any areas of tension. Are your shoulders raised? Is your jaw clenched? Without trying to change anything, simply notice what’s here. Let each exhale invite a tiny bit more softening. Once you feel centered in your body, shift to the next step of listening within.
Once you feel connected with yourself, you can start to inwardly listen, becoming aware of your thoughts and emotions. What feelings are present? Perhaps anxiety, anger, fear, hope, or numbness. Make room for all you are feeling without needing to fix or change anything.
Notice where these emotions live in your body. Does anxiety swirl in your stomach? Does fear create tightness in the chest? Does sadness feel heavy in your shoulders? Let each feeling have space to be felt and heard.
Now gently ask yourself: “What do I need in this moment?” Maybe it’s rest, connection, movement, or quiet. Let the answer emerge naturally from your body’s wisdom rather than your thinking mind. Trust your inner knowing.
As this practice draws to a close, consider one small way to care for yourself today. Perhaps it’s taking a walk at lunch, calling a supportive friend, or setting a boundary with news consumption.
Choose something specific and achievable. Rather than “I should exercise more,” perhaps you decide, “I’ll step outside for five minutes at lunch.” Rather than “I need to stay informed,” maybe your intention is “I’ll check news once in the evening for 15 minutes.”
Take a moment to imagine yourself doing this one small thing. See the details—where you’ll be, what time of day, what it will feel like in your body.
Before opening your eyes, take three slow breaths, feeling the support beneath you and your own capacity for self-care and healing.
Remember, you can return to any part of this practice throughout your day—a few conscious breaths, a moment of listening to your needs or recommitting to one small caring action.
Healing can’t be rushed. By creating space to process our post-election emotions now, we build a stronger foundation for whatever comes next. Start small, be gentle with yourself, and trust your path to genuine healing. From this place of inner calm and clarity we can begin the work of understanding and bridging our differences.
The original version of this article was published at knowyourmind.training.
This week, Angela Stubbs gently guides us inward, helping us explore self-sabotaging patterns with compassion and kindness.
Most of us know what it feels like to be our own toughest critic—caught in patterns of self-doubt or self-sabotage that keep us from fully embracing who we are. When these moments arise, we may feel tension or even resistance within ourselves.
In this meditation, Angela Stubbs gently guides us inward, helping us explore these patterns with compassion and kindness. Through six stages, she invites us to bring awareness to these feelings, accepting ourselves without judgment and affirming our worth.
Notice that the patterns and the thoughts and behaviors around self-sabotage are just ways that we’ve learned to cope with things in our lives, ways that we’ve learned to respond to stimuli in our lives.
With each stage, we cultivate a sense of warmth and resilience, creating space to move beyond self-doubt and reconnect with our inner strength. This practice offers us a chance to release the hold of self-criticism, embracing a more gentle, patient approach toward ourselves.
Meditating through exercise isn’t complicated: You can train the mind and body with the breath as part of any exercise that you already do.
“Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced.”
—John Keats, poet
The revelation that mindfulness can happen with movement is often profound for people—especially those who have resisted meditation because they don’t like to sit still. If you’re committed to morning workout sessions and enjoy the boost that physical movement can bring, you can try turning your activity into a mindfulness meditation.
Runner Ashley Hicks described it to Krista Tippett in a July 2017 On Being podcast this way: “I don’t run with music, headphones, anything—I call myself a true minimalist runner. Literally, it’s just me and my running clothes . . . it’s just the idea of allowing myself to settle into the run, settle in and to feel the road beneath your feet, settle in and really acknowledge your surroundings. When I run, it’s this idea of really being present and acknowledging where I am and what I’m doing and the purpose.”
For devoted and aspiring exercisers, here is some good news. Research suggests that those who intentionally focus on the feeling of moving and deliberately take in their surroundings enjoy exercise more. After tracking how much people exercised, how mindful they were while doing it, and how satisfied they were with their workouts overall, scientists at Utrecht University in the Netherlands suggest “mindfulness may amplify satisfaction, because one is satisfied when positive experiences with physical activity become prominent.” What that means for your daily routine is that being mindful can support your exercising habits, and vice versa.
What exactly does mindful exercise involve? You’re paying attention to your body: your muscles, pace, breathing, resistance, and tension. How does it feel to get out of your comfort zone and twist and stretch beyond your usual seated or standing positions? How do you feel emotionally? Are you energized and determined, or are you feeling depleted, maybe needing a minute to refresh? Listen to your needs, and push or protect yourself accordingly. Be mindful of your thoughts too. Do you have a drill sergeant in your head? Are you comparing yourself to the person doing yoga next to you, or do you bring a curious, kind attention to how your workout is going?
When you meditate through exercise, you’re also taking time to notice what’s around—whether it’s the rhythms of the gym or the changing scenery of an outdoor jog. Although music can be a great motivator, and the built-in TV screen on the elliptical machine is nice entertainment, try unplugging for at least part of your workout to truly meditate.
Harmonizing your mind and body is powerful. You’re making strides—figuratively and literally—for your physical and mental health.
Any activity can work for mindful meditation, and you can find anchors for your attention in the motions: Maybe it’s the point when your right hand enters the water while you swim (my go-to), or the contact of your feet on the pavement as you run. Weight lifters might use the up-and-down repetition of a barbell. Or, you could stick with the one anchor that is always available to you: your breath, in and out. Notice as it quickens or slows, and return to it whenever you find your mind drifting to a thought about that text message you forgot to answer, or the milk you accidentally left on the countertop.
Harmonizing your mind and body is powerful. You’re making strides—figuratively and literally—for your physical and mental health. And, if the research holds, you’re enjoying it more. With that reward potential, a sweaty mindfulness session might be easier to put permanently on the calendar.
Excerpt adapted from The Mindful Day by Laurie J. Cameron, © 2018. Reprinted by arrangement with National Geographic Partners, LLC.
Life is inherently changeable and uncertain, and our resilience relies on how we relate to that fact. Mindfulness doesn’t mean everything’s fine or that we’re calm all the time. We aim for patience, clarity, and then—when it’s time—skillful action.
Whatever we face, we can meet uncertainty with compassion. This might look like carving out a moment to settle before deciding what comes next. Instead of remaining caught up in reactivity, anger, and fear, it takes effort and training to find a balance between accepting what we cannot change and seeking out where to actively put our effort.
The heart of mindfulness means doing our best to navigate our experience, even our crises, with both precision and compassion.
Take a moment when you’re able to explore that balance. The heart of mindfulness means doing our best to navigate our experience, even our crises, with both precision and compassion.
1. So as you start, focus on what it feels like to walk. Notice the physical sensation of each step. Notice your foot rising, the shift of weight in your body, and then your foot returning to the ground.
2. You might label each step as step. Or you might count small runs of steps, perhaps up to 10, and then start again.
3. Note your mind’s tendency to add on to your experience, often in ways that complicate even the most challenging moments. Your mind may already be wandering into the future or the past. When you catch yourself lost in thoughts like that, come back again to one step.
4. And now, if you’d like, expand your awareness. Notice sounds around you. With a sense of unforced and balanced effort, notice smells, touch, and sights.
5. With a sense of strength and perhaps appreciation, immerse yourself in the physical sensation of the walk that you’re taking.
6. If a thought or a feeling holds your awareness or becomes a distraction, see if you’re able to practice letting go a little. Notice that sense of getting hooked or tied up in your thoughts and then come back again to that immediate physical sensation of each step.
7. Noticing those thoughts, return your attention again to the physical sensation of taking your walk.
8. For the last few minutes of the practice, if you’d like, focus on a sense of kindness and compassion. You’re not alone right now. Everyone around the world is struggling to get by.
You’re not alone right now. Everyone around the world is struggling to get by.
9. So as you walk, taking in your reality, remind yourself: This is what is right now for me. This is where I am—observing my emotional state, my state of mind, and thoughts.
10. And then as you walk, wish yourself whatever you would wish for your closest friends right now.
May I be happy and at ease.
May I recover my sense of resolve and strength.
11. If it feels comfortable, you might also expand that. Picture your family and friends in the same way.
May we all find our sense of resolve and ease.
May we all stay healthy and safe.
12. And if, while you’re walking, you encounter other people or even pass other houses, you may take a moment to offer those strangers the same wishes. Whoever they are, whatever their life experience, everyone has their struggles. So as you pass these other people, or their homes, wish them well.
May you find health and happiness.
13. As we end the formal mindfulness practice, expand your awareness to all beings everywhere—even the ones you find most difficult and challenging. Everyone in some way is driven by a motivation to be free of suffering, to be free of stress, to be healthy, to be happy.
May everyone everywhere throughout the world find a sense of resilience, stay healthy, and find happiness.
Follow along as Rhonda Magee guides us through a S.T.O.P. practice for focused awareness. The invitation is to be kind to yourself, take a conscious breath, and gently relate to thoughts, emotions, and sensations that arise.
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Through mindfulness practice we can change the relationship we have with the anxious thoughts and feelings that surface during a panic attack.
My relationship with anxiety began as I neared the end of law school. There was so much pressure to “succeed,” to find a good job and validate the investment of three years of my life.
The panic attacks would come like waves. They would start slowly and then build momentum until I was completely overtaken. I would experience physical symptoms, like blurred or tunnel vision, and would feel like the ground had disappeared beneath my feet. I had a hard time catching my breath.
At the time I was not familiar with mindfulness and meditation and the significant benefits that could result from consistent practice. I started trying out mindfulness for panic attacks and other emotionally charged moments. Eventually I learned how to change my relationship to my anxious thoughts and feelings through mindfulness practice, and in the process, found ways to curb the anxiety that used to overwhelm me.
Through mindfulness training we acknowledge that our thoughts and feelings are always changing, and learn to accommodate them with a sense of gentleness and acceptance.
Research has shown that mindfulness meditation is an effective way to reduce anxiety. Through mindfulness training we acknowledge that our thoughts and feelings are always changing, and learn to accommodate them with a sense of gentleness and acceptance. Through the process of focusing non-judgmental awareness thoughts, feelings, and sensations, we strengthen our ability to observe them without identifying with or being defined by them.
After many years of mindfulness practice, the panic attacks still come, but they arrive with much less frequency and intensity. When they do, I use a handful of methods to help me deal with them on the spot.
1) Investigate
When I am in the grip of a particular fear, worry, or anxiety, I ask myself two questions:
2) Shift into taking deep, relaxed breaths
When I am caught up in a swirl of anxious thoughts, I’ll switch my attention to something physical, like deep relaxing breaths, shifting myself out of the mental loop that perpetuates the anxious feelings and calming my nerves. For a few minutes, focus on taking deep, calming breaths. Intentionally breathe slowly and deeply into your belly as you expand your lungs. Then without any effort, exhale naturally. Many people feel relief from anxiety after just a few minutes.
Try this guided breathing practice:
3) Connect to the senses
To create some distance from anxious, repetitive thoughts I’ll bring my attention to each of the senses, grounding myself in the present. Wherever you are, take a few slow, deep breaths, and focus your awareness on your surroundings. Look around, and take notice of what you see. Just observe the variety of colors, shapes and textures of what you see, without necessarily forming an opinion. Then focus your awareness on sound. As you listen, notice what you hear in your environment.
Try listening to the quietest sound you hear, or the loudest sound you hear. See if you can listen without applying any labels to your hearing. Next, focus your awareness on your sense of smell. What do you smell? How many different scents can you detect? Finally, bring your awareness on your sense of touch. Reach down and touch the ground beneath you with your fingertips. Notice how many different sensations you feel. See if you can describe them without thinking about whether you like or dislike the sensations.
Try this guided audio meditation to practice engaging your senses:
4) Visualize the release of anxious feelings as a cloud floating away in the sky
Take a moment to pause. Feel the weight of your body and your feet firmly rooted to the ground. See if you can find where the sensation of anxiety is located in your body, such as in your stomach, chest, or head. Slowly and gently allow yourself to feel the sensation there. Then imagine that the uneasy sensation of anxiety has gathered in that location in the form of a dark cloud. Picture it all puffy and grey.
Take a deep breath, and as you exhale, imagine that the dark cloud is expelled from your body with your outgoing breath. See the dark cloud hanging in front of you a couple of feet away, and then watch as the cloud floats away slowly like a balloon. Keep watching the dark cloud float away until it completely disappears. Try this animation to visualize letting go of negative thoughts.
It may feel challenging at first, and that’s OK! Try to be patient and gentle with yourself. With practice, turning to mindfulness for panic attacks—both as a preventive tool and an in-the-moment form of self care—becomes second nature.