In this practice framework, each letter of the word “breath” serves to remind us of our responsibility to honor and promote equity.
To begin this practice, let’s ground ourselves in deep gratitude. Gratitude for all those who have come before us and those who have paved the way for us to sit in this moment with a sense of relative safety. Whose tireless efforts allow us to be and move within the spaces we navigate each day. Acknowledging the responsibility we also share in making the world a better place than we found it. In this way, we can recognize our own sense of belonging as we take time now at the start of our practice to breathe for belonging.
In this mindfulness framework, each letter of the word “breath” serves to remind us of our responsibility to ourselves and to others to honor and promote equity. “B” invites us to breathe for belonging. “R” for restoration and renewal. “E” to exercise equity. “A” to activate and advocate. “T” asks us to trust the power. “H” is for healing.
A Guided Meditation to Celebrate the Power of Pausing Together
Let’s pause for a few breaths to allow us to focus on our breathing for belonging. As we focus on the positive elements of belonging and our gratitude for all that has made this possible, begin to feel a sense of restoration and renewal.
Belonging. Restoration and renewal. The first two letters of our equity breath will prepare us to receive the world with as much positivity and energy as we can. With this in mind, take some time to breathe for belonging as well as our collective restoration and renewal.
Allow a welcome pause. For several breaths focus on restoration and renewal. Take some time to turn inward and focus on a sense of belonging, restoration, and renewal.
Let’s turn our attention outward to the rich diversity of people in our lives and everyday interactions. With that, we will begin to reflect on how we exercise equity as well as activate and advocate for that equity—the “E” and “A” in our equity breath.
Now we can turn our attention to opening our hearts and minds to the vast intersectionality of our world in ways that cause us to examine things like: Who holds power across our communities and across facets of our society? What is grounded in the ways that we live, work, and play?
In our collective efforts to advance intersectional equity, may we take the necessary steps to recognize and value each of our many identities. May we exercise equity through our genuine care and concern for one another. Through sharing, openness, and curiosity. Through open invitations to participate, broadening access and opportunity, and through collaboration and co-creation with those impacted by institutions, systems, and communities. Holding those most affected in our hearts and directing this practice toward justice. May we breathe for safety for ourselves and one another. May we breathe together for justice, for the positive change we see each day in the march toward social justice. May we honor and nourish the relationships so necessary in advancing equity in our world as this cannot be done alone.
Let’s pause again and enjoy a few deep breaths to focus on our vast potential to exercise equity. To activate and advocate. Anchoring ourselves in our equity breath as we now turn ourselves to the end of our practice. We use the breath as a tool to focus on breathing for belonging, restoration, and renewal, exercising equity, activating and advocating, trusting the power, and healing through hope.
Holding ourselves with the utmost compassion, we move into the last two elements of our equity breath, allowing ourselves to trust the past and heal through hope. Anchoring our awareness on the breath; focusing on simply breathing in and breathing out. Aware of our body, let us release all of the tension and pain.
Now, let’s bring our awareness to our hearts. Welcome tenderness to our hearts, bringing our awareness to our emotions. Holding in compassion. Smiling. Easing and releasing with the breath. As we notice our own suffering, notice how it manifests in the body, in our emotions, in our tone, and in our words and actions. Try to hold the suffering with deep compassion. Easing suffering with the beautiful power of our breath. Being aware of suffering as a pattern in the world. Visualizing how it affects so many. As we take in this pattern of suffering, hold it in compassion, and send ease with each out-breath.
As we notice the suffering of others, what are you aware of? What do you feel in your body? What emotions? Hold it all with compassion, sending ease and relief to your mind.
Now slowly return awareness to the breath. Welcome ease and with each out-breath, release any tension. Notice the suffering of those that hold privilege. Recognize guilt and disconnection. Feel this energy and hold it with deep passion as we release it with ease and send relief.
Return awareness to the entire body. Our heads, our hearts, our hands, and our feet. From this awareness, honor your deepest intentions to address suffering and what we need to do in order to create conditions to thrive. Strengthening and bringing into awareness the steps we take next. How does this feel in your body, in your head, in your heart? Hands and feet? What are you? What are we? Carrying forth from today may we keep the flames of determination, courage, and conviction burning no matter what difficulty or odds arise.
Change ripples out from the places we heal ourselves, writes editor-in-chief Heather Hurlock. And when we connect, we’re capable of great things. Read More
Point of View Podcast Episode 7: Exploring how we’re missing out on the joys of our rich human community, and how mindfulness can help us dismantle the subtle patterns and habits that separate us from each other. Read More
Relationships of all kinds are dynamic. There are ups and downs, seasons of flourishing, and seasons that feel frustrating and dry. Whether romantic, familial, or platonic, they all require care, attention, and intention to thrive.
Our days are so filled with obligations, pressures, and distractions. It’s easy to slip into autopilot, where communication becomes transactional, and moments of connection feel few and far between.
Before we know it, we’re just not connecting in the ways we need the most. Communication might feel tense or rushed. Resentment can build up. Where we long to feel trust and easy intimacy, we might feel distance.
When connection feels thin, there’s usually a main culprit: We’ve forgotten how to be fully present with this person we care about so much. If we’re wrapped up in the past, holding on to frustrations or grievances, we’re more likely to miss moments of potential gratitude, closeness, and support. If we’re caught up in worry about the future, we’re more likely to miss the goodness that abounds in the here and now.
The newly launched Relationship Affirmations Deck explores the many ways in which mindfulness offers a powerful antidote to this disconnect. By incorporating mindfulness into our relationships, we can cultivate deeper understanding, empathy, playfulness, and appreciation for those we hold dear.
4 Simple, Mindful Practices to Nourish Relationships
Whether you’re looking to reconnect after a period of distance, or you just want to build on what you already have, mindful relationship practices can help. Let’s look at four mindful ways to nourish connection in your relationships, helping them grow stronger and more fulfilling over time.
1. Practice Active Listening
Here’s a question to gently ask yourself: How often do I truly listen to others without planning a response, letting my thoughts wander, or interrupting? It’s more challenging than you might think.
Active listening is a cornerstone of mindfulness in relationships, requiring full presence and an open heart.
What is active listening?
Active listening involves giving your undivided attention to the speaker, genuinely seeking to understand their perspective. This means suspending judgment, refraining from offering solutions unless asked, and showing that you value their words.
How to incorporate active listening into your relationship
Here are three ways you can boost your active listening skills.
Don’t let distraction get the upper hand. Put away devices like phones or laptops. Face the person you’re speaking with, maintain eye contact, and let them know they have your attention.
Use verbal and nonverbal cues. Nod, lean in, smile, or say things like, “I hear you,” or “Tell me more.” These small gestures show engagement and encouragement.
Reflect and validate. When your conversation partner is done talking, it can help to summarize what they’ve said to confirm you understand. For example: “It sounds like you felt hurt when that happened. Is that right?” Remember, validation doesn’t mean agreeing; it simply acknowledges their feelings as real and understandable.
By practicing active listening, you create a reliable space for your partner or loved one to share openly, which strengthens trust and intimacy.
2. Be Intentional About Gratitude and Appreciation
In long-term relationships, it’s easy to take the other person for granted. Over time, we may focus more on what’s lacking or on minor annoyances than on the things we admire about our partner, family members, or close friends.
Why gratitude matters in relationships
Gratitude shifts attention to the positive aspects of your relationship, reminding you of the qualities and experiences you cherish. When expressed regularly, appreciation fosters feelings of being seen, valued, and loved.
At first it can feel awkward to be intentional about gratitude. Calling out specific examples might even feel a little silly. But this practice has been shown again and again to shift our perspective, to sharpen our awareness of all the goodness around us and all the ways we’re held up and supported. All of this makes us better friends, partners, parents, and co-workers, deepening the bonds we share.
How to practice gratitude together
If you want to boost your experience of gratitude and aren’t sure where to begin, here are three simple strategies that can get you started.
Start a daily gratitude practice. This does not have to be complicated or drawn out! Each day, share one thing you’re grateful for about your partner or your relationship. It could be something small, like how they made you coffee, or something significant, like their support during a tough time.
Write thank-you or love notes. Leave a heartfelt note expressing appreciation for something specific they’ve done. Over time, these little gestures build a reservoir of positive feelings.
Celebrate the small wins. Acknowledge and celebrate each other’s achievements, no matter how minor. Recognizing effort strengthens your bond and boosts mutual respect.
When gratitude becomes a habit, it acts as a glue that holds your relationship together through ups and downs. Over time, noticing what’s working becomes the default. When frustrations or disappointments occur—which they inevitably will in our imperfect human relationships—you’ll have this large bank of truthful, positive reminders to draw from.
3. Be Present for Shared Experiences
Relationships thrive on shared experiences, but the depth of connection depends on how present you are in those moments. Whether it’s a dinner date, a weekend hike, or simply watching a movie together, mindfulness can transform routine activities into meaningful bonding opportunities.
What is shared presence and why does it matter?
It’s easy to assume that spending time together automatically equals connection. But proximity isn’t the same as presence. You can sit next to someone for hours and still feel a million miles apart. What transforms time into connection is being fully there.
“Being present” is a phrase you’ll see a lot in mindful spaces. While it can sound a little vague and New Agey, in reality, it’s a very practical approach to investing in our ordinary, everyday lives.
When we talk about being fully present, what we mean is that we’re marshaling our attention on purpose. That looks like putting our focus on the person we’re with, opening our ears and our hearts to them. It also involves being in our bodies—noticing sights, sounds, smells, and sensations—instead of always stuck in our heads and the stories we get hooked on. We’re not getting caught up in something that happened earlier or something that’s going to happen later. When our attention drifts, which it will, we just gently bring it back.
When you’re fully present, even mundane moments become an opportunity for connection. Presence fosters intimacy, as it shows the person you’re with that they are worth your undivided attention.
Ideas for mindful shared experiences
There are so many fun and creative ways to build shared experiences. Here are just a few ideas you can try:
Mindful meals. Shared meals used to be a cornerstone of cultural connection, and in some places, people are trying to bring them back to combat the epidemic of loneliness that has seeped into Western culture. A mindful meal is simply a meal without distractions. It doesn’t have to be fancy at all. The focus is on savoring the flavors, enjoying the ambiance, and engaging in conversation.
Digital detox dates. Set aside time to disconnect from screens and connect with each other. Use this time to talk, play a game, or try something new together.
Explore something new. Novelty and spontaneity strengthen bonds by creating new, positive associations. Take a dance class, cook a new recipe, or visit a place neither of you has been before.
Practice mindfulness together. Meditate, do yoga, or simply sit quietly and breathe together. Shared mindfulness practices can deepen your emotional connection and align your energies.
One additional benefit of intentional presence? We remember things more vividly. By being fully present during shared experiences, you create memories that are rich in connection and joy.
4. Practice Compassion and Forgiveness
No relationship is immune to conflict or mistakes. In these moments, the way we respond determines whether we drift apart or grow closer. Practicing compassion and forgiveness is a mindful approach to navigating challenges while strengthening the bond between you.
Why compassion and forgiveness are so crucial to connection
Compassion involves understanding and caring for your partner’s feelings, even when you disagree or feel hurt. It’s about recognizing their humanity and approaching difficulties with kindness rather than judgment.
Forgiveness is an emotionally-complicated and often-misunderstood concept. People sometimes fear that forgiveness is the same as saying what happened was okay, or that it means we “forget” or pretend it never happened. That isn’t the case with healthy forgiveness.
Holding onto resentment creates barriers to intimacy. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning hurtful behavior, but rather letting go of the emotional weight it carries, so you can move forward together.
How to practice compassion and forgiveness
Studies have shown that a regular mindfulness practice makes forgiveness easier, in part because it expands our compassion and makes seeing another perspective less difficult. Here are five habits that foster real, healthy compassion and forgiveness.
Pause before reacting. When emotions flare, take a breath. That pause can be the difference between a response that builds connection and one that tears it down.
Include yourself. Often the person we are hardest on is ourselves. The more we practice taming our ferocious inner critic, the more likely we are to be able to extend that same grace to others.
Seek understanding. Ask yourself: What might they be feeling or fearing? What’s beneath their words or actions?
Apologize and accept apologies. A sincere “I’m sorry” can be healing. So can saying, “I forgive you.” Neither one erases the hurt, but both open the door to repair.
Let go of what no longer serves you. Resentment is heavy. Releasing it—through mindfulness, journaling, or therapy—creates space for something lighter.
Compassion and forgiveness aren’t always easy. Some might say that these can be the most challenging part of a mindfulness journey, but they are what allows relationships to grow through challenges rather than crumble beneath them.
Building a Relationship That Feels Alive
Mindfulness in relationships isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence—about showing up, over and over, in small but meaningful ways. When we listen deeply, express gratitude, share moments with presence, and choose compassion, we create a relationship that feels alive, tender, and worth tending to.
And here’s the beautiful thing: every moment is a chance to begin again. So, whether you’re navigating a tough season or just looking to strengthen what’s already good, start small. Start today. The relationships that matter most are worth it.
Put the Focus Back On Connection with Relationship Affirmations
If you’re looking for a wonderful companion product that can support your journey to mindful, meaningful connection, you’ll love our new Relationship Affirmations card deck.
52 beautifully designed, high-quality cards, each featuring a unique mindful phrase.
A simple wooden holder to display each day’s card. A QR code on the back of each card that links to 25 bonus premium digital practices, like coaching and guided meditations.
This deck provides a simple reminder that brings your attention back to gratitude, compassion, honest communication, and healthy interactions. Whether used alone or with a loved one, these cards can provide the gentle structure and support to help you grow your relationships with care and intention.
In times of deep division and uncertainty, many of us feel pressure to “move on” or “come together” quickly, before we’ve properly processed our feelings. This tendency to rush past our emotions can lead to superficial healing at best, and deeper wounds at worst. True healing—whether personal or collective—begins with creating space to process post-election emotions by feeling what we feel without judgment.
1. Notice Your Protective Patterns
Before we can heal, we need to recognize how we might be bypassing our emotions. Which of these patterns feel familiar?
Keeping Busy: Immediately jumping into “fix-it” mode or taking on extra projects when feeling vulnerable, using constant activity as a way to avoid sitting with uncomfortable feelings
Pretending: Maintaining a polished exterior while internally struggling, especially in professional settings or with family—often, it’s saying “I’m fine” when you’re actually not
Analyzing: Analyzing feelings from a safe mental distance rather than experiencing them, turning emotional experiences into problems to be solved rather than feelings to be felt
Distracting: Using endless scrolling, excessive exercise, or other activities that serve to redirect our attention away from our emotions
Numbing: Coping with alcohol or other substances, comfort eating, to dull difficult emotions and temporarily escape discomfort
Caretaking: Over-focusing on others’ needs while neglecting our own emotional landscape, using service to others as a way to avoid our own inner work
Spiritual Bypassing: Using spiritual practices or positive thinking as an escape route rather than as genuine tools for processing, rushing to “transcend” difficult emotions before fully acknowledging them
True healing—whether personal or collective—begins with creating space to feel what we feel without judgment.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Pause
Now that you’ve recognized your patterns of avoiding discomfort, the next step is simple but powerful: pause. This means temporarily stepping away from our habits of constant doing, fixing, and analyzing.
Consider this an invitation to:
Step away from the constant barrage of news and social media. (If you want to stay informed, set specific times to check the news.)
For a few moments, let go of striving to “fix” anything. Notice how this feels in your body and your mind.
Give yourself and others grace during this emotional time. Remember that everyone processes differently and at their own pace.
Trust that understanding and connection will come, but they can’t be forced.
While pausing is essential, healing also requires active practices that engage our body and senses. Research offers clear guidance on what works.
3. Create Space to Feel and Heal
Find your own ways to intentionally create spaces for healing with activities that engage your sensory awareness—for example, cooking, making and listening to music, painting, writing, and other art forms. You may enjoy these activities on your own or in community.
In particular, two evidence-based strategies to heal and manage stress are being in nature and moving our body.
The Science of Nature and Healing
Research shows our innate connection to nature (biophilia) has real healing effects. A landmark study found that hospital patients with views of nature recovered faster and needed less pain medication than those facing brick walls. Even brief nature encounters can reduce stress hormones and improve well-being.
Try these science-backed nature practices:
Mindful Window Moments: Take 3-5 minutes to observe nature outside your window—notice the movement of leaves, birds, or clouds. Studies show even brief nature views can lower heart rate and blood pressure.
Nature Walking: Find a green space for a 15-minute walk. Notice the touch of the air on your face, the sound of leaves or gravel under your feet, the rhythm of your steps. Research shows walking in nature reduces rumination and anxiety more effectively than urban walks.
Movement as Medicine
If running, yoga, or other sports don’t speak to you, try dancing. Dance therapy research shows movement helps process emotions trapped in our bodies. Dance is known to promote emotional, social, cognitive, physical, and spiritual integration leading to improved health and well-being.
When we feel stuck, simple movement can shift our state:
Kitchen Dancing: Put on an inspiring song and let your body move freely. Notice how different parts of your body want to express themselves.
Gentle Shaking: Stand comfortably and gently shake your body for 1-2 minutes, letting tension release. Notice areas that feel tight or free.
Now that we’ve explored ways to pause and engage in healing practices, let’s bring it all together with a guided meditation that helps us return to ourselves, listen deeply, and begin taking mindful action.
A Healing Meditation to Process Post-Election Emotions
Too often, we finish a meditation session and then rush back into life without taking time to reflect and listen to our needs. Not taking this time means we’re more likely to default to our usual ways of thinking and reacting in the real world, despite our best intentions. Before we begin our interactions, it’s important to remember to return to our intentions and insights.
Healing can’t be rushed. By creating space for our emotions now, we build a stronger foundation for whatever comes next.
Let’s practice together, with three steps: return, listen, and begin.
Return to our present moment experience (3-5 minutes)
The first step in mindfulness meditation is to stabilize the mind by returning to an anchor, whether it’s the feeling or sound of your breath, body sensations, or sounds in the environment. For a few minutes let go of any rushing, judging, or striving.
Take a few deep breaths, letting your exhales be slow and complete. Now let your breath find its natural rhythm. Notice the sensation of breathing—perhaps the slight coolness of air at your nostrils, or the gentle rise and fall of your chest.
As you sit here, become aware of the points of contact between your body and your seat, your feet and the floor. Feel the support beneath you. When your mind wanders to election concerns or other thoughts, gently acknowledge them and return to these sensations of support and breathing.
Now scan your body slowly, noticing any areas of tension. Are your shoulders raised? Is your jaw clenched? Without trying to change anything, simply notice what’s here. Let each exhale invite a tiny bit more softening. Once you feel centered in your body, shift to the next step of listening within.
Listen within and ask what you need (3-5 minutes)
Once you feel connected with yourself, you can start to inwardly listen, becoming aware of your thoughts and emotions. What feelings are present? Perhaps anxiety, anger, fear, hope, or numbness. Make room for all you are feeling without needing to fix or change anything.
Notice where these emotions live in your body. Does anxiety swirl in your stomach? Does fear create tightness in the chest? Does sadness feel heavy in your shoulders? Let each feeling have space to be felt and heard.
Now gently ask yourself: “What do I need in this moment?” Maybe it’s rest, connection, movement, or quiet. Let the answer emerge naturally from your body’s wisdom rather than your thinking mind. Trust your inner knowing.
Begin to take actions that nurture you (5-7 minutes)
As this practice draws to a close, consider one small way to care for yourself today. Perhaps it’s taking a walk at lunch, calling a supportive friend, or setting a boundary with news consumption.
Choose something specific and achievable. Rather than “I should exercise more,” perhaps you decide, “I’ll step outside for five minutes at lunch.” Rather than “I need to stay informed,” maybe your intention is “I’ll check news once in the evening for 15 minutes.”
Take a moment to imagine yourself doing this one small thing. See the details—where you’ll be, what time of day, what it will feel like in your body.
Before opening your eyes, take three slow breaths, feeling the support beneath you and your own capacity for self-care and healing.
Remember, you can return to any part of this practice throughout your day—a few conscious breaths, a moment of listening to your needs or recommitting to one small caring action.
Healing can’t be rushed. By creating space to process our post-election emotions now, we build a stronger foundation for whatever comes next. Start small, be gentle with yourself, and trust your path to genuine healing. From this place of inner calm and clarity we can begin the work of understanding and bridging our differences.
The original version of this article was published at knowyourmind.training.
This week, Angela Stubbs gently guides us inward, helping us explore self-sabotaging patterns with compassion and kindness.
Most of us know what it feels like to be our own toughest critic—caught in patterns of self-doubt or self-sabotage that keep us from fully embracing who we are. When these moments arise, we may feel tension or even resistance within ourselves.
In this meditation, Angela Stubbs gently guides us inward, helping us explore these patterns with compassion and kindness. Through six stages, she invites us to bring awareness to these feelings, accepting ourselves without judgment and affirming our worth.
Notice that the patterns and the thoughts and behaviors around self-sabotage are just ways that we’ve learned to cope with things in our lives, ways that we’ve learned to respond to stimuli in our lives.
With each stage, we cultivate a sense of warmth and resilience, creating space to move beyond self-doubt and reconnect with our inner strength. This practice offers us a chance to release the hold of self-criticism, embracing a more gentle, patient approach toward ourselves.
A Guided Meditation for Awareness and Release of Self-Sabotage
Today, we’re going to see if we might meet ourselves with some tenderness around the ways in which self-sabotaging patterns and moments show up in our lives. We’re going to see how we might work with them. That’s going to look different for everybody.
First, find a comfortable posture or position, either seated or lying down. Gently close your eyes. Or if it feels better for you, lower your gaze and take a nice deep breath in. Feel your chest expand and the belly expand with the breath. Pause for a moment at the top of that breath and slowly release it, allowing your body to settle. Continue to breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth, and allow yourself to notice the sensations of the breath. Give yourself this moment to relax and be here without thinking you should be anywhere else or be doing anything else.
Now, bring your attention inward, noticing any sensations in your body. Feel the weight of your body, supported by the ground or chair, releasing any tension you may notice. That tension lives in different places for all of us, so notice where that is for you. See if you can find that center of gravity by rocking side to side gently, just to remind yourself that you’re sitting. And as you notice the sensations in the body and where you might be feeling tightness or tension, allow yourself to be here and fully connected to the experience of sitting and being.
Next, bring some gentle awareness to any patterns you might be aware of that you would consider to be self sabotage in your life. You don’t need to deeply dive into what that is for you. We’re not looking at ways to judge ourselves for the ways that we notice self-sabotage or patterns of behavior that don’t serve us to be a part of an ongoing narrative that we’re helping to make bigger and worse for ourselves. Rather, we’re taking inventory and just noticing: How might that show up for you?
Remember, it’s going to look different for everyone. We’re just trying to recognize. Does that look like people pleasing for you? Maybe it looks like putting people’s needs ahead of your own, or it might show up as not speaking up when you have something to say. Maybe you have a habit of holding back. Or just maybe it’s that harsh inner critic that never shuts up. We all have one. We’re just noticing those spaces in your life where those narratives might be more prevalent.
Now, let’s shift the way that we think about those stories. Notice that the patterns and the thoughts and behaviors around self-sabotage are just ways that we’ve learned to cope with things in our lives, ways that we’ve learned to respond to stimuli in our lives. All we’re doing is seeing if we can observe those patterns and those behaviors with some kindness. The goal here is not to beat ourselves up about the fact that these things exist, but rather embrace them with some kindness and a little tenderness.
Pay attention to how difficult it may or may not be for you to offer some compassion to those parts of yourself. One way that this gets a little easier is when we envision extending the warmth and the tenderness and the care that we would give to a friend or to someone that we care about.
Envision drawing in that compassion for yourself, placing a hand on your heart. Place your right hand on your heart and then put your left hand on top of it, and hold that space there in the heart for yourself. As you breathe in and out, let go of any self-criticism you might have around these patterns.
As you do this, just observe your thoughts: What are your thoughts around this topic? We like to attach a lot of meanings to the thoughts as they arise. The goal here today is just allowing them to be here, noticing that they’re here and not needing to do anything about it. You’re not justifying to yourself or to anyone else why it’s here or how you feel about it. So whether you’re thinking of something and you feel self-doubt, or frustration, or that fun inner critic decides to pay a visit—see if you can observe it without engaging it or pushing it away.
If it helps, give yourself an inner mantra, something that reminds you that you are worthy of kindness. You’re good enough as you are. Think of something that feels right for you to repeat in your own mind for the next minute. If self-sabotaging thoughts arise, greet them with compassion and remind yourselves of your wholeness, your capacity for change.
Take a final deep breath and fill yourself with compassion. Exhale slowly, releasing any remaining tension. When you feel ready, gently open your eyes and bring the sense of mindful self-compassion with you as you reenter your day.
Meditating through exercise isn’t complicated: You can train the mind and body with the breath as part of any exercise that you already do.
“Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced.” —John Keats, poet
The revelation that mindfulness can happen with movement is often profound for people—especially those who have resisted meditation because they don’t like to sit still. If you’re committed to morning workout sessions and enjoy the boost that physical movement can bring, you can try turning your activity into a mindfulness meditation.
Runner Ashley Hicks described it to Krista Tippett in a July 2017 On Being podcast this way: “I don’t run with music, headphones, anything—I call myself a true minimalist runner. Literally, it’s just me and my running clothes . . . it’s just the idea of allowing myself to settle into the run, settle in and to feel the road beneath your feet, settle in and really acknowledge your surroundings. When I run, it’s this idea of really being present and acknowledging where I am and what I’m doing and the purpose.”
For devoted and aspiring exercisers, here is some good news. Research suggests that those who intentionally focus on the feeling of moving and deliberately take in their surroundings enjoy exercise more. After tracking how much people exercised, how mindful they were while doing it, and how satisfied they were with their workouts overall, scientists at Utrecht University in the Netherlands suggest “mindfulness may amplify satisfaction, because one is satisfied when positive experiences with physical activity become prominent.” What that means for your daily routine is that being mindful can support your exercising habits, and vice versa.
What exactly does mindful exercise involve? You’re paying attention to your body: your muscles, pace, breathing, resistance, and tension. How does it feel to get out of your comfort zone and twist and stretch beyond your usual seated or standing positions? How do you feel emotionally? Are you energized and determined, or are you feeling depleted, maybe needing a minute to refresh? Listen to your needs, and push or protect yourself accordingly. Be mindful of your thoughts too. Do you have a drill sergeant in your head? Are you comparing yourself to the person doing yoga next to you, or do you bring a curious, kind attention to how your workout is going?
When you meditate through exercise, you’re also taking time to notice what’s around—whether it’s the rhythms of the gym or the changing scenery of an outdoor jog. Although music can be a great motivator, and the built-in TV screen on the elliptical machine is nice entertainment, try unplugging for at least part of your workout to truly meditate.
Harmonizing your mind and body is powerful. You’re making strides—figuratively and literally—for your physical and mental health.
Any activity can work for mindful meditation, and you can find anchors for your attention in the motions: Maybe it’s the point when your right hand enters the water while you swim (my go-to), or the contact of your feet on the pavement as you run. Weight lifters might use the up-and-down repetition of a barbell. Or, you could stick with the one anchor that is always available to you: your breath, in and out. Notice as it quickens or slows, and return to it whenever you find your mind drifting to a thought about that text message you forgot to answer, or the milk you accidentally left on the countertop.
Harmonizing your mind and body is powerful. You’re making strides—figuratively and literally—for your physical and mental health. And, if the research holds, you’re enjoying it more. With that reward potential, a sweaty mindfulness session might be easier to put permanently on the calendar.
8 Ways to Meditate Through Your Exercise Routine
Pause and consider your purpose. Remember why you want to meditate. Is it to train your mind to focus and sustain attention? To learn to navigate emotions? Consider your intention for exercise, too. Is it to live longer, lose weight, or have more energy for your kids? This twofold motivation can help get you up and out, and keep you going.
Unplug. To meditate through exercise, don’t listen to your favorite playlist, talk on the phone, read a magazine, or watch TV. Be fully present where you are: in the woods, on the sidewalk, or on the treadmill.
Tap into body sensations. Bring your attention to your physical experience. Are there any parts of your body that are working extra hard? Does your body feel different today than it did yesterday? When I swim, I focus on the water gliding over my body, the muscles in my arms, and the sensation of my torso rotating with each breath.
Use your breath as a cue to challenge yourself more or ease up as necessary. As you learned with mindful breathing, your inhale or exhale can be an anchor of attention while exercising. If your mind wanders, noticing a new “For Sale” sign in the neighborhood while you run or recalling an email you forgot to return, just notice the thought and reconnect with your breath. Observe the tempo of your breath as you work harder and as you cool down.
Play with different anchors of attention. Experiment with attentional focal points other than your breath: each full rotation of your bike pedals, the up and down of a lunge. You can switch anchors as you vary your exercise, but stay focused on the rhythm of your anchor, returning to it when your mind wanders.
Note your surroundings. There are two aspects of directing attention—focused attention and open awareness—and you can practice both while exercising. To tap into the latter, check out what’s around you. How is the air? Temperature? What are you hearing?
Renew your resolve — burning hamstrings and all. One of the attitudes of mindfulness is acceptance—not wishing the present moment to be different than it is. A brilliant time to practice this is when you’re meditating through exercise. Do you notice any resistance to the workout experience—perhaps wishing you were almost done, or that the pain in your right foot would go away? Commit to your workout time, remember your reasons for being there, and try to stay present from start to finish.
Exercise kindness. Notice the quality of your thinking during workouts: Can you appreciate your current ability, speed, and endurance just as they are? If you work out in a group, can you let go of the “comparing mind” and instead thank yourself for showing up for this healthy activity, and then go at the pace that’s just right for you?
Life is inherently changeable and uncertain, and our resilience relies on how we relate to that fact. Mindfulness doesn’t mean everything’s fine or that we’re calm all the time. We aim for patience, clarity, and then—when it’s time—skillful action.
Whatever we face, we can meet uncertainty with compassion. This might look like carving out a moment to settle before deciding what comes next. Instead of remaining caught up in reactivity, anger, and fear, it takes effort and training to find a balance between accepting what we cannot change and seeking out where to actively put our effort.
The heart of mindfulness means doing our best to navigate our experience, even our crises, with both precision and compassion.
Take a moment when you’re able to explore that balance. The heart of mindfulness means doing our best to navigate our experience, even our crises, with both precision and compassion.
A Mindful Walking Practice to Meet Uncertainty with Compassion
1. So as you start, focus on what it feels like to walk. Notice the physical sensation of each step. Notice your foot rising, the shift of weight in your body, and then your foot returning to the ground.
2. You might label each step as step. Or you might count small runs of steps, perhaps up to 10, and then start again.
3. Note your mind’s tendency to add on to your experience, often in ways that complicate even the most challenging moments. Your mind may already be wandering into the future or the past. When you catch yourself lost in thoughts like that, come back again to one step.
4. And now, if you’d like, expand your awareness. Notice sounds around you. With a sense of unforced and balanced effort, notice smells, touch, and sights.
5. With a sense of strength and perhaps appreciation, immerse yourself in the physical sensation of the walk that you’re taking.
6. If a thought or a feeling holds your awareness or becomes a distraction, see if you’re able to practice letting go a little. Notice that sense of getting hooked or tied up in your thoughts and then come back again to that immediate physical sensation of each step.
7. Noticing those thoughts, return your attention again to the physical sensation of taking your walk.
8. For the last few minutes of the practice, if you’d like, focus on a sense of kindness and compassion. You’re not alone right now. Everyone around the world is struggling to get by.
You’re not alone right now. Everyone around the world is struggling to get by.
9. So as you walk, taking in your reality, remind yourself: This is what is right now for me. This is where I am—observing my emotional state, my state of mind, and thoughts.
10. And then as you walk, wish yourself whatever you would wish for your closest friends right now.
May I be happy and at ease.
May I recover my sense of resolve and strength.
11. If it feels comfortable, you might also expand that. Picture your family and friends in the same way.
May we all find our sense of resolve and ease.
May we all stay healthy and safe.
12. And if, while you’re walking, you encounter other people or even pass other houses, you may take a moment to offer those strangers the same wishes. Whoever they are, whatever their life experience, everyone has their struggles. So as you pass these other people, or their homes, wish them well.
May you find health and happiness.
13. As we end the formal mindfulness practice, expand your awareness to all beings everywhere—even the ones you find most difficult and challenging. Everyone in some way is driven by a motivation to be free of suffering, to be free of stress, to be healthy, to be happy.
May everyone everywhere throughout the world find a sense of resilience, stay healthy, and find happiness.
Follow along as Rhonda Magee guides us through a S.T.O.P. practice for focused awareness. The invitation is to be kind to yourself, take a conscious breath, and gently relate to thoughts, emotions, and sensations that arise. Read More
Through mindfulness practice we can change the relationship we have with the anxious thoughts and feelings that surface during a panic attack.
My relationship with anxiety began as I neared the end of law school. There was so much pressure to “succeed,” to find a good job and validate the investment of three years of my life.
The panic attacks would come like waves. They would start slowly and then build momentum until I was completely overtaken. I would experience physical symptoms, like blurred or tunnel vision, and would feel like the ground had disappeared beneath my feet. I had a hard time catching my breath.
At the time I was not familiar with mindfulness and meditation and the significant benefits that could result from consistent practice. I started trying out mindfulness for panic attacks and other emotionally charged moments. Eventually I learned how to change my relationship to my anxious thoughts and feelings through mindfulness practice, and in the process, found ways to curb the anxiety that used to overwhelm me.
Through mindfulness training we acknowledge that our thoughts and feelings are always changing, and learn to accommodate them with a sense of gentleness and acceptance.
Research has shown that mindfulness meditation is an effective way to reduce anxiety. Through mindfulness training we acknowledge that our thoughts and feelings are always changing, and learn to accommodate them with a sense of gentleness and acceptance. Through the process of focusing non-judgmental awareness thoughts, feelings, and sensations, we strengthen our ability to observe them without identifying with or being defined by them.
After many years of mindfulness practice, the panic attacks still come, but they arrive with much less frequency and intensity. When they do, I use a handful of methods to help me deal with them on the spot.
How to Curb a Panic Attack
1) Investigate When I am in the grip of a particular fear, worry, or anxiety, I ask myself two questions:
Is it really true? I try to remember that my thoughts aren’t facts, and that they are transient. They are like the weather, passing through and changing all the time, so I don’t have to take them so seriously, or become attached to them.
2) Shift into taking deep, relaxed breaths When I am caught up in a swirl of anxious thoughts, I’ll switch my attention to something physical, like deep relaxing breaths, shifting myself out of the mental loop that perpetuates the anxious feelings and calming my nerves. For a few minutes, focus on taking deep, calming breaths. Intentionally breathe slowly and deeply into your belly as you expand your lungs. Then without any effort, exhale naturally. Many people feel relief from anxiety after just a few minutes.
Try this guided breathing practice:
3) Connect to the senses To create some distance from anxious, repetitive thoughts I’ll bring my attention to each of the senses, grounding myself in the present. Wherever you are, take a few slow, deep breaths, and focus your awareness on your surroundings. Look around, and take notice of what you see. Just observe the variety of colors, shapes and textures of what you see, without necessarily forming an opinion. Then focus your awareness on sound. As you listen, notice what you hear in your environment.
Try listening to the quietest sound you hear, or the loudest sound you hear. See if you can listen without applying any labels to your hearing. Next, focus your awareness on your sense of smell. What do you smell? How many different scents can you detect? Finally, bring your awareness on your sense of touch. Reach down and touch the ground beneath you with your fingertips. Notice how many different sensations you feel. See if you can describe them without thinking about whether you like or dislike the sensations.
Try this guided audio meditation to practice engaging your senses:
4) Visualize the release of anxious feelings as a cloud floating away in the sky Take a moment to pause. Feel the weight of your body and your feet firmly rooted to the ground. See if you can find where the sensation of anxiety is located in your body, such as in your stomach, chest, or head. Slowly and gently allow yourself to feel the sensation there. Then imagine that the uneasy sensation of anxiety has gathered in that location in the form of a dark cloud. Picture it all puffy and grey.
Take a deep breath, and as you exhale, imagine that the dark cloud is expelled from your body with your outgoing breath. See the dark cloud hanging in front of you a couple of feet away, and then watch as the cloud floats away slowly like a balloon. Keep watching the dark cloud float away until it completely disappears. Try this animation to visualize letting go of negative thoughts.
It may feel challenging at first, and that’s OK! Try to be patient and gentle with yourself. With practice, turning to mindfulness for panic attacks—both as a preventive tool and an in-the-moment form of self care—becomes second nature.
Selecting, buying, and giving gifts to people we care about is one of the most important aspects of many holiday celebrations. But here’s the open secret of this holiday season: For many of us, trying to find the “perfect” gift is an exercise in frustration and uncertainty.
This time of year comes with oodles of pressure to get our shopping done in time for all manner of holiday gatherings. At its worst, we can unintentionally get caught up in a kind of competitive gift-giving, hell-bent on outdoing or out-spending everyone else (#festive?!). On the other hand, we may decide to opt out entirely in the name of anti-consumerism—and forgo the potential delight of these gifting rituals our ancestors dreamed up and passed down.
So how do we find a balance? How can we truly relish this season of generosity? Here are three gift-giving tips, based on mindful qualities that help reduce stress and add to the joy.
3 Gift-Giving Tips for a More Mindful Holiday Season
1. Enhance Empathy: When it comes to figuring out what to buy for that hard-to-buy-for person—we all know one!—an empathic approach may help. According to Greater Good Magazine editor and writer Jill Suttie, parts of our brain have evolved “to enable emotional connection with others and the motivation to care,” and we can cultivate empathy through tiny, intentional shifts in daily life.
These days, the word empathy is often associated with feeling others’ pain or difficult emotions like our own. Yet in its broader, evolutionary form, empathy helps us understand different perspectives—to take a little walk in someone else’s shoes. This not only leads us toward other helpful qualities such as loving-kindness, it also gives us a break from our more self-focused motivations (“I don’t want to be the only one showing up to the party without gifts!” or “I’m worried someone will think badly of me if I give the wrong thing”).
2. Offer Appreciation: Consciously thinking about the reasons you appreciate someone is another great way to shift into a more relaxed, flexible mindset around gift-giving. What’s one quality, talent, or goal this person possesses that you admire about them: Their sense of humor? Their love of learning? The ways they support their community? Their courageous attempts to veganize French cuisine? Again, this makes the process less about you and more about your relationship to the recipient.
A mindful approach to gifting places less emphasis on the price tag or the “wow” factor and instead draws on a sense of connection and thoughtfulness.
A mindful approach to gifting also places less emphasis on the price tag or the “wow” factor and instead draws on a sense of connection and thoughtfulness. As Mike Rucker writes, “A gift tends to be more beneficial when it is in true alignment with the recipient’s identity and values.” We don’t have to empty the bank account in order to show someone that they’re important to us.
3. Nurture Self-Compassion: Anyone who has ever wandered the mall (or scrolled through online stores) for hours on end knows that overthinking is the enemy of a happy holiday. Mental habits like second-guessing, demanding perfection, or thinking up worst-case scenarios can take us from overthinking to full-blown anxiety. Choosing to be kind to ourselves can take the edge off some of that tension and overthinking.
“Mindfulness can become an ally, fostering a compassionate relationship with our thoughts and allowing mental clarity,” writes Ashley Fletcher. If you tend to overthink your gift-shopping (or anything else), take a deep breath, acknowledge that things are tough right now, and perhaps offer yourself some grace, the same way you’d support a stressed-out friend.
However you relate to traditions of gift-giving, this season is a fruitful time to shift our habits. Cultivating a spirit of self-compassion along with empathy and appreciation for others makes it easier for us to truly savor the most meaningful gifts: connection, laughter, and gratitude.
We hope you’ve enjoyed these mindful gift-giving tips. For even more inspiration, explore our 2024 Holiday Gift Guide—where mindfulness meets heartfelt gifting.
With this year’s MindfulHoliday Gift Guide, we’re offering countless ways to share more mindful giving and joyful living this year. Discover unique, curated gift bundles, and exclusive collaborations!
Plus, enter below for a chance to win a special prize bundle of our most beloved mindful products!
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When we dislike someone, it’s much harder to recognize their humanity. This guided meditation supports us in releasing tension in the body and cultivating compassion, even for a difficult person.
No matter whether we seek to get along with everyone, or have been known to cherish a grudge or two, we all know of a person whom we disagree with or who challenges us in some way. When you bring this person to mind, what do you notice? You may feel physical tension, anxiety, or other unpleasant sensations in the body.
In this meditation, Anu Gupta guides us in simple phrases of compassion and loving-kindness that allow us to remember: Just like me, this person is also human. Just like me, they have their own joys, desires, and struggles. Offering kind wishes to someone difficult is a powerful way to expand our circle of compassion. We don’t have to like them, but we can cultivate compassion for them by softening our resistance and acknowledging their humanity.
A Guided Meditation for Sending Compassion to a Difficult Person
Begin by settling into a comfortable seated posture, either on a cushion or a chair. Rest your feet on the ground below you. Place your hands on your knees or in your lap. Let your shoulders relax, your spine straight and relaxed, keep your chin parallel to the ground below you, and bring your eyes to a gentle close.
Bring your attention to your breath. Notice your inhales and your exhales. The breath is oftentimes a reflection of the mind. It’s just bringing awareness to the breath to settle the mind.
Notice if you’re holding any tension in any part of the body. Bring that to awareness and gently ask that body part to relax. Whether it’s your tongue, your shoulders, or your feet. Relax. Relax. Relax.
As you breathe in and you breathe out, bring to mind a person you’ve had some difficulty with. It doesn’t have to be the worst person you know, or someone who’s caused you a lot of harm, but someone you dislike. Someone who’s challenging. Someone that brings up some sort of resistance in your body. It could be a public figure. It could be someone you know.
Let yourself feel what it’s like to be in that person’s presence. Bring to attention any tension, dislike, or disgust that may arise because you’ve brought this person’s image in your mind. Just notice it, noticing these unpleasant sensations. But also remember that just like you, this person is also a human. Just like you, this person was also a baby at some point. Just like you, this person is also subject to sickness, to old age and to death.
Now, imagine this person as a baby. And now offer this difficult person some words of kindness. Just like me, you’re human. May you be safe. May you be peaceful. May you be healthy. May you live with ease. May you be safe. May you be peaceful. May you be healthy. May you live with ease. May you be safe. May you be peaceful. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.
Repeat these phrases of compassion for this difficult person over and over again. Notice the discomfort if it arises. Notice the resistance. And then say to the resistance, Just like me, you’re human. Just like me, you’re human. May you be safe. May you be peaceful. May you be healthy. May you live with ease. Keep repeating these phrases for as long as you like.
After your next exhale, bring your chin to your chest, stretching the back of your neck. Thank you for your practice today.
Follow along as Rhonda Magee guides us through a S.T.O.P. practice for focused awareness. The invitation is to be kind to yourself, take a conscious breath, and gently relate to thoughts, emotions, and sensations that arise.
If we’ve been practicing mindfulness and other awareness practices, we know that even on difficult days like election day we’re just a moment of awareness away from a sense of greater ease and greater capacity to be with what is.
The acronym S.T.O.P. encapsulates how mindfulness practice can support us in making the most of opportunities for engagement in the world most especially during election day. Like all mindfulness practices, it has many different applications. For one, it is a simple tool that can support us in being here in a much more lively way with ourselves, opening up to what is coming up for us, right here, right now.
Stop and Take a Conscious Breath
S stands for Stop
Stop what you are doing and if possible, perhaps take a seat. If standing, just pause where you are standing. It’s really about standing in your dignity or sitting in your dignity, to support bringing mindfulness to this moment. As you settle in, breathe in and out, allowing attention to rest on the feeling of the breath as it flows into the body, and out. Feel the nourishment of taking a moment to pause. This first step can be as short as just an instant, or as long as you like.
T stands for Take a conscious breath
Now, taking one, very slow and conscious breath in, and a full complete breath out, really notice what it’s like to allow your attention to rest on these sensations of breathing. Continuing to take a few very conscious, very intentional breaths. Simply allow yourself to feature the breathing aspect of the experience of this moment, one breath at a time.
O stands for Observe
What is coming up for you in this moment? The shorthand T.E.S.—thoughts, emotions, sensations—can remind you of what you might gently scan for as you observe your experience.
What kind of thoughts might be arising? Imagine thoughts as being like clouds, moving through the sky of your consciousness, and just note the thoughts as they come up for you.
Then, what emotions or feelings are present? Is there some discomfort? Some feeling of opening to joy? Whatever is arising is perfectly OK. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Mindfulness is about rolling out this welcome mat, allowing yourself to feel what’s here right now.
Then, notice sensations: You might feel a tightness around the shoulders, or a sinking feeling in the belly. Whatever is prominent, invite a reflection on the sensations that are coming up for you. The intention is just to create a spacious way of holding the sensations. Yes, these sensations are here right now.
P stands for Proceed
Finally, when you’re ready, notice the opportunity presented in this moment to proceed, to choose how to move from this place of reflective awareness into engagement. Proceed with presence, all the while holding your experience with kindness, friendliness, and self-compassionate for your experience in this moment.
Notice the opportunity presented in this moment to proceed, to choose how to move from this place of reflective awareness into engagement.
When you are ready, transition out of this practice. Feel what it was like, and any way in which that moment of practice may have shifted your experience. Bring awareness to that shift, to help you see just how mindfulness practice is for you. Many teachers use the term “YOU-ru” as opposed to “guru,” which means you can take full ownership of the great opportunity that being alive presents: to deepen your ability to meet whatever is coming up, with more steadfastness, more stamina, more resilience, and more intentionality about how you want to be during election day.
