In this guided meditation, Caverly Morgan invites us to move beyond “positive thinking” in difficult moments and instead tap into a deep well of unconditional love for ourselves
When we’re wrestling with experiences that challenge our identities or our confidence—like failures at work, relationship struggles, or letting go of old belief systems—it can be tempting to reach for positive self-talk that pushes back against the difficult feelings we might be having.
In today’s guided practice, Caverly Morgan offers something much sturdier, what she calls unconditional reassurances.
In this practice, we’re not just saying the opposite of what we’re feeling, hoping that it will be true. Rather, it’s about anchoring into a deep-down sense of worthiness and compassion that’s always present, regardless of how well things are going for us or how great we feel about ourselves in any given moment. It’s the difference between saying, Don’t feel bad! You’re the best! and saying, Whether you succeed or you don’t, I love you no matter what.
A Meditation for Unconditional Love When You’re Struggling
Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.
- I invite you to begin this meditation with three of the longest and deepest inhalations and exhalations you’ve taken yet today. So often we take the breath for granted. Give yourself permission right now to simply enjoy breathing.
- Picture a moment in your life in which you are struggling. If the scale is one to ten, ten being the greatest struggle you’ve ever known, pick something in the middle. Think of some time, perhaps in your recent past, when you were resisting what is, or seeking a different experience.
- Notice what you were saying to yourself as you were struggling. Or to be even more accurate, what “the judge” was asserting, maybe commanding. Maybe for you there wasn’t any negative self-talk present, or perhaps the voice of the inner critic wasn’t alive in that moment. But for most of us, in moments of struggle the judge is somewhere on the scene. For this contemplation, see if you can get a sense of what’s being said.
- Now see yourself as the one who’s listening to the judge. Really play with this in your imagination. Maybe you even see a young part of you that’s taking this message in. You might even let yourself feel, consciously identifying with this young part of you feeling what they feel.
- From this space, ask, What do I need to hear? What do I need to know? If it’s not this, what is it?
- Now in this struggle, take on the feeling as though you’re drowning, flailing your limbs around. See someone sitting on a dock nearby. Someone that really loves you, knows you, sees you. It might not be a real person in your life. It might be a kind stranger that is walking by the lake and doesn’t want to see you drown. See this person? With a bright, shiny, brand new life preserver in their hand, see them tossing it to you as your arms flail. Let yourself grab on to it.
- If there were messages inscribed on this life preserver, what would the messages be? Perhaps it’s really simple. Like, I’m here. You don’t need to flail around any longer. You can hang on to me. I’ve got you. What phrases light up for you? What sentiments? Touch that unmet need. There’s no right or wrong here.
- What is important is that the sentiments are unconditional. If they were to come in the form of phrases, they’re phrases that have no opposite. For example, they wouldn’t be something like, You’re a winner! Rather, they would be things like, I love you no matter what.
- Take a moment now to say these phrases to yourself. Offer this part of you who’s been struggling unconditional Love. It’s not transactional or based on performance. Offer that now. Really see the part of you that needs to hear these things, needs to know these things.
- If it feels difficult to access unconditional Love in this moment, that is absolutely fine. It’s just not the right moment to touch it. A part of you might be blocking the love. That’s always in the backdrop of our experience, but they can often feel out of reach. See if you can touch this love, this recognition that you are worthy.
- Next, play with the image of releasing the life preserver. Just breathing and floating in the sea of presence. You don’t need to strive. Floating isn’t the byproduct of your hard work and your effort to do this “right.” It is your nature to float, just as it is your nature to love. If you meditate to be a better person, you’ll always be busy trying to be a better person. If you meditate because you’re in love, resting in your own luminous, infinite being in this sea of love, you’ll always be in love.
- For one more full minute, let yourself rest in love. I’ll stop talking now. And if you wish to rest in this way for longer than a minute, I invite you to do so. If you need to move into your day, just give yourself one more minute before doing so. Resting in love. Letting yourself float. Thank you.
