Health Journal Online

Tag: Resilience

  • How To Meditate as an Adult — Even With Noise around you

    How To Meditate as an Adult — Even With Noise around you

    The crack team at How to Adult takes on basic seated meditation. Take 5 minutes and follow the demonstration.

    It takes so much energy to just be sometimes.

    Add in adult responsibilities like work, family, relationships, finances, and worry about the world, and it can all feel like way too much.

    While mindfulness meditation can’t take away the stressors of grown-up life, it can help us regulate our nervous systems, process emotions, improve memory and sleep, and bring clarity in our decision-making. And these are all benefits that can help us at least learn how to adult with a little more peace.

    If you’re curious about starting a practice but aren’t sure where to start, the creators of the How to Adult Youtube channel crafted a five-minute primer on how to meditate. They discuss the benefits, the practice—including some pointers from Mindful on basic seated meditation.

    All you need is five minutes and a chair to follow the demonstration.



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  • Building Self-Compassion for Failure in the Creative Process

    Building Self-Compassion for Failure in the Creative Process

    Have you ever found that on some days, no matter how good your intentions, you just can’t manage to get around to doing what you said you most wanted to do?

    No matter what we’re trying to do—say, establish a new habit such as meditation, exercising more often, eating more healthfully, or diving into a new creative hobby—there will be days when life gets in the way. We may feel too tired; some emergency might arise; or we might simply forget to do what we had very good intentions of doing.

    It’s exactly in these moments of failure that we need to offer ourselves some self-compassion. In fact, the whole creative process needs to be a compassionate one. 

    The compassionate road to creativity

    One of the keys to creativity is testing different solutions to a problem—that is, iterating on the solutions and the design that you’ve come up with. Simply put, this means the first few attempts we make are not necessarily going to be the end result. There will be moments of failure, and this is part of the creative process.

    To pick ourselves up after a moment of failure (or perceived failure) and carry on, we need to offer ourselves some self-compassion, and it’s our mindfulness practice that can help us build that.

    Self-compassion for failure simply means turning the lens of compassion back onto ourselves.

    What do we mean by “self-compassion for failure”?

    It simply means turning the lens of compassion back onto ourselves. That is, recognizing our own moments of stress and suffering and being motivated in those moments to come up with a solution to alleviate our stress and suffering. There’s a great deal of scientific evidence now that shows how self-compassion builds motivation: people who are self-compassionate tend to navigate failure better and tend to stick with behavior changes and habits they originally set out to change or establish. 

    Acknowledge, Admit, Accept

    Here’s a three-step process of self-compassion, as outlined by one of the premier researchers in this field, Kristen Neff. This three-step process consists of, first, offering ourselves a moment of mindfulness.

    When we’re feeling a sense of failure or feeling inadequate, or even navigating the stress that arises when we feel things are out of our control—we take a moment in there to acknowledge the facts, admit we don’t like those facts, but accept the way things are. The key things to remember is not to get caught up in the narrative or story about what’s happening and not to suppress any difficult emotions that may come up. We’re simply acknowledging that this moment is stressful. 

    The second step is to connect with our sense of common humanity. Take a moment to acknowledge that no matter what we might be going through, there are many other people just like us who’ve encountered the same difficulty. So, we’re not alone—this kind of failure or this kind of stress is just part of the human condition. This is not only true, it can help us feel less isolated in moments of imperfection. It’s a little easier to foster a sense of self-compassion for failure when we know we are never alone.  

    The third step is offering ourselves some kindness. Consider what you might say to a best friend if they were going through what you might be going through in this moment of stress. 

    A Simple Practice to Foster Self-Compassion for Failure

    Let’s try this model of self-compassion through a practice, keeping a creative goal in mind as we go. Here’s also a guided audio version with Dr. Neff if you’d like to listen instead:

    1. I invite you to sit up in a way that’s alert yet relaxed and close your eyes. Make sure both your feet are planted firmly on the floor to help stabilize you and ensure your back is straight but not rigid. Allow the front of your belly to be soft. You may rest your hands gently on your lap. 

     2. Let’s start by bringing to mind something in your life that’s not going well. Maybe it’s a creative goal you’ve been working on that hasn’t gone according to plan. Maybe you’ve encountered some kind of failure at work or at home. Or maybe you’re just dealing with a painful situation that’s beyond your control. 

    3. Keeping this situation in mind, let’s start the process of self-compassion with mindfulness: Take a moment to acknowledge things as they are, not as you wish them to be. Take this moment to acknowledge things exactly as they are. 

    4. You might say something like, “This is a moment of stress,” or, “I don’t like this, but this is the way it is right now.” Keep in mind we’re not trying to problem solve. We’re also not getting caught up in the story around the pain and stress. We’re simply staying present to what’s happening. 

    5. Next, bring to mind the fact that no matter what you’re going through, there have been many people who’ve been through the same experience before. You might say something like, “I’m not alone in this,” or, “This is simply a part of being human.” 

    6. And now I’d like you to offer yourself some kindness. If this were your best friend or a loved one who was going through what you’re going through, what might you say to them? What advice might you offer? 

    7. As you offer yourself the same kind of unconditional love and friendliness, I want you to send yourself a few wishes of well-being: May I be kind to myself. May I be patient and accepting of myself. May I be strong and resilient in this moment. 

    8. From this place of greater warmth and kindness for yourself, I’d like you to take a couple of deeper breaths at your own pace. And whenever you’re ready, open your eyes and rejoin this conversation. 

    Not Just Nice, But Essential

    One thing that consistently stands out about Neff’s extensive research is this counterintuitive find: without self-compassion, it’s actually harder to change, heal, and grow. And that includes our creative endeavors.

    We tend to think that being hard on ourselves will motivate us to do better—but it in reality, the opposite is true. Relentless self-criticism diminishes not only our enjoyment of the creative process, but also our ability to see into new possibilities. That fear of “not getting it right” stunts our creativity.

    When we take the time to slow down, pay attention to our sense of “not-enough” in creative process, and offer that fear a little extra care, we’re actually holding the door open wider to fresh ideas, inspiration, and creative courage.



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  • Elisha Goldstein on the Power of Tiny Shifts

    Elisha Goldstein on the Power of Tiny Shifts

    Psychologist and mindfulness teacher Dr. Elisha Goldstein has spent decades helping people find their way back to themselves. He’s come to see that lasting change rarely comes from dramatic overhaul, but rather through the smallest possible pivots. His new book, Tiny Shifts, introduces a four-step method for interrupting the emotional loops that keep us stuck, and making real change in the ordinary moments of everyday life. Mindful editor-in-chief Siri Myhrom sat down with Dr. Goldstein to talk about the neuroscience behind the method, why our bodies know things our minds don’t, and what to do when the problems feel too big for a tiny shift.

    The heart of the book is the Four R Method: Recognize, Release, Refocus, Reinforce. Where did that come from? Was a method you’ve always had, or did it emerge from a need?

    I think the Four R Method evolved over time—out of my personal experience and also my teaching. The first R—Recognize—is foundational. It’s in many of the world’s wisdom traditions, psychology speaks of it, neuroscience speaks of it. This idea of recognizing, labeling, noticing. Awareness is on its own a regulation tool. It’s also the very first opening to anything. It’s the foundation of mindfulness.

    We need to rebalance the somatic reaction that’s happening, because that widens the space now between stimulus and response. That moment of awareness on its own is typically not enough. We need a wider space.

    That first R is really about stepping outside of the emotional loops that are patterned and conditioned within us—often unconscious, whether that’s anxiety, overeating, snapping at people, road rage, or just generally feeling overwhelmed. These loops happen because there’s so much repetition over years of our lives. We just don’t notice we’re in them. How many people, since 2007, have been programmed to fall into the gentle scroll—typically as some form of soothing, with boredom or dis-ease or restlessness underneath? To wake up to that has been foundational for me.

    But what typically wasn’t there—and what’s not taught systematically—is what I learned later as a psychologist: the somatic piece. That moment of awareness gives us a little wedge. But we can lose that wedge pretty quickly. What we need to do is rebalance the somatic reaction that’s happening. That’s what widens the space between stimulus and response. We don’t just need to step into the space—we typically need to widen it.

    Can you say more about what Release actually means? I think when people hear “letting go,” they imagine it means not feeling the hard thing anymore.

    So that’s a good question, what you’re pointing to here, because release is not about getting rid of the feeling. If you think about tiny shift, it’s like an emotional pivot. We’re just trying to pivot. It’s not about the outcome so much. Think of it more like a verb.

    It’s not whether the emotion is legitimate or illegitimate—it’s here. Release is taking a moment—taking a breath, a slightly longer exhale out, allowing the shoulders to drop, letting the muscles elongate—to feel a little more softness in my body around the activation.  

    I’ll give you an example—a hypothetical moment that has happened many times. My teenage kids had agreed to clean up after themselves after their midnight snacks, and I came downstairs one morning to dishes everywhere. I notice myself really frustrated. Shoulders up, hands tense, face kind of scrunched, heart rate up. I’m about to storm into their room and let them know.

    And release is more about taking a moment to soften around that feeling. It’s not to get rid of the feeling, because the anger is actually justified. They crossed a boundary; there was an agreement. That anger is a healthy feeling. It’s not whether the emotion is legitimate or illegitimate—it’s here. 

    So I recognize the frustration loop. And release is taking a moment—taking a breath, a slightly longer exhale out, allowing the shoulders to drop, letting the muscles elongate. That activates the parasympathetic nervous system. What’s happening there is that I’m taking that space between stimulus and response and widening it. The anger is still there. But I’m able to feel a little more softness in my body around the activation. 

    Sometimes, too, I’ll notice a story in my mind that’s not serving me—something rigid, something about what was done to me—and as I take that exhalation out, I might see that story and say the word “release” and allow it to kind of come out. That doesn’t mean it magically disappears. But it does help soften the activation. It helps turn the volume down on the story a little bit. That’s what we’re after. Whether we’re going to use the anger constructively or destructively—that’s the important piece. And the release is what gives us enough space to choose.

    There’s a phrase in the book — “embodied cognition” — that gets at knowing through our bodies. Where do you think our disconnection from the body comes from?

    I think it’s cultural. Western culture, in particular. You see it from a young age—how we train kids to favor and prize thinking. And our bodies, how we feel, sensations—this type of stuff is implicitly taught as unimportant. So we don’t get a lot of reps with it.

    We’re also wired to problem-solve. So if we’re feeling anxious, frustrated, like something’s wrong—we’re going to try and problem-solve that. And the way we problem-solve is we start thinking. We think about all the problems in front of us, or possible problems that aren’t in front of us, or we reach back to our Rolodex of history and think about problems in the past. Meanwhile, we feel more anxious or upset, because that’s the emotion it feeds.

    The insight doesn’t translate into change until it drops down into the body. That’s the piece that’s so often missing.

    The pause can give us a moment of recognition, but then it’s gone. The insight doesn’t translate into change until it drops down into the body. That’s the piece that’s so often missing.

    There’s a study I keep coming back to, by Norman Farb and Zindel Segal at the University of Toronto. Segal is one of the creators of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. They showed emotionally difficult film clips—clips from Terms of Endearment and The Champ—to two groups. One group had gone through mindfulness training and one who hadn’t. Both groups showed the same perceived sadness. But the mindfulness group scored statistically significantly lower on the Beck Depression Inventory. 

    We’ve got two basic networks in our brains: the narrative network [also called the Default Mode Network], where rumination and worry live; and the present-focus network [also called the Task Positive Network], where problem-solving occurs. And what the brain imaging showed is a kind of seesaw effect: when one network goes up, the other goes down, and vice versa. 

    When people were paying attention to the sensation of sadness and saying “sadness” in their mind, their narrative network was coming down. They didn’t get caught in the rumination as much. That’s how mindfulness works. And similarly, when we recognize a loop and soften around it in an embodied way, it dials down that narrative default mode network. That’s the neurology behind why this works.

    Can you give another example of how this works in your everyday life?

    This method is basically how I cured my insomnia, because understanding the neurology of this has helped me trust, to come back to my body any time I have sleep troubles. As an example, my dog recently woke me up in the middle of the night, barking. So I had to go get the dog, and on the way back to bed, I banged my hand on the banister in the dark, and cut my hand. It’s the kind of thing that just wakes your whole body up. By the time I got back to bed, my mind had latched onto a work problem. And I could recognize what was happening: I was in a worry loop. There’s something called the Zeigarnik Effect—the mind keeps trying to close unfinished loops. So I knew that if I just tried to push the thought away, it would keep coming back.

    I recommend this to anyone: really deeply listen to a practice with massive repetition, so that you memorize it. Because the higher your emotional activation, the more your thoughts are convincing, the more you kind of go under a spell. If you have some level of mastery, you’ll be able to break that spell—because you can trust the neurology.

    What I did instead was recognize the loop, and take a moment to soften the physical tension. My stomach was clenched from the worrying, so I took some deep breaths—not to “activate the parasympathetic nervous system” as a technique, but because my abdomen was tense and I needed to do the opposite. I needed to stretch those muscles. So I took deep breaths, my abdomen expanded, and that was the release.

    Then my refocus was: I know the seesaw effect. I know that even though my mind is telling me I need to worry about this, if I come back and attend to something in the present moment—for me the body is the most tangible anchor—I can activate that steady gear and bring the spinning gear down. And because I’ve done a body scan hundreds of times, my body just knows what to do. I don’t need to turn on an audio. I recommend this to anyone: really deeply listen to a practice like that with massive repetition, so that you memorize it. Because the higher your emotional activation, the more your thoughts are convincing, the more you kind of go under a spell. If you have some level of mastery, you’ll be able to break that spell—because you can trust the neurology.

    The third R is Refocus. You describe it as “taking the steering wheel.” What does that look like in practice?

    Our brain is already reactively asking us questions—and it’s steering. What’s the worst case scenario here? What’s wrong with me? Why don’t my kids love me anymore? Whatever it is, refocus is about consciously redirecting that question-asking capacity. When we ask our brain questions, it searches for answers. So instead of those reactive questions, we ask something like: What’s most important for me to focus on right now? What do I actually need right now that’ll move me in a healthier direction? What’s something I can do that’ll enhance the next five minutes of my life? Something like that will completely change the moment.

    Sometimes refocus doesn’t even require a new question. After you’ve recognized and released, you often just have access to wisdom you already had—a phrase from a teacher you love, an intuition about what you need. The emotional loops don’t erase our wisdom. They just block access to it.

    And sometimes refocus doesn’t even require a new question. After you’ve recognized and released, you often just have access to wisdom you already had—a phrase from a teacher you love, an intuition about what you need. The emotional loops don’t erase our wisdom. They just block access to it. That’s why so many people say, I’ve done so much work, read so many books, why isn’t it sticking? This is why. When we’re in those emotional loops, we lose access to what we know. The release is what restores that access.

    The fourth R—Reinforce—is the one you say that’s most often skipped. Why does it matter?

    Yes, it’s the most often missed—and the reason there’s a fourth R at all is because after we have an experience, we need to do something to emotionally tag that moment so we remember it. It might be a meditation or interrupting a moment where you were about to snap at your kid, or you were in traffic hating being in traffic and you loosened your grip on the steering wheel and remembered something Sharon Salzberg said—you are also the traffic—and suddenly felt a whole lot more ease. The reinforce is saying: I need to do something that emotionally tags this moment. That’s a term from neuroscience. To emotionally tag the moment so my brain remembers it. I want to install it in my short-term working memory so that the next time I’m in this context, my brain will automatically bring it up and interrupt the old pattern.

    Emotional tagging is acknowledging: Wow, look at what I just did, and how I’m feeling right now. That gives it a little extra emphasis. It’s like hitting the save button on a document you just created. You take a beat with it. Just let the moment land. That’s the reinforce piece.

    The way to do that is quite simple. Just acknowledging: Wow, look at what I just did, and how I’m feeling right now. That gives it a little extra emphasis. Or you take a moment and put your hand on your heart and sense the shift—whether it’s relief, ease, warmth, whatever the positive shift is—and you let it land. It’s like hitting the save button on a document you just created. You take a beat with it. Just let the moment land. That’s the reinforce piece. And that’s how we really enhance the process toward more implicit change—not just knowing something, but having it available to us the next time we need it.

    As I was reading, I was thinking, too, about our current cultural moment. I live in Minneapolis, and we have had a hell of a year. In the realm of overwhelm, there was both the feeling and the message: We need to be doing something, and it has to be more and more and more, and it’s not enough, and everything’s on fire. How does a concept like “tiny shifts” work when the problems feel so big and so urgent? How can this tiny thing be enough to meet what is asking so much of us?  

    First of all, just acknowledging that, yeah, Minneapolis has been through the wringer this last year in gigantic ways. A friend of mine who’s been diagnosed with cancer said exactly that to me after I gave him the book, Do you have anything called Big Shifts? Because that’s what I need. And I really felt that.

    A friend of mine who’s been diagnosed with cancer said to me after I gave him the book, “Do you have anything called Big Shifts? Because that’s what I need.” And I really felt that.

    But here’s what I’d say. In your example—the feeling that I’m not doing enough, there’s so much to do, everything’s on fire, and it’s still not enough—that is an emotional loop. What I’m noticing is that I’m activated. My mind is running stories. My body is tensing. It’s a not-enoughness loop, a save-the-world loop. And a tiny shift is saying: What’s happening within me right now? Because I’m not grounded and balanced in this moment. And that’s what we’re after.

    So I recognize the overwhelm loop. I release. I soften around the activation even as all of that is still here. Then I refocus—and in this moment I could go a lot of directions. I might ask: What are some things I’ve been doing in the direction of this that I feel a sense of accomplishment about?—redirecting attention from the lack to what I’ve actually done. Or: What’s one thing I can do that moves in this direction? 

    The tiny shift isn’t pretending the big thing is small. It’s gathering yourself—recognize, release—so that when you refocus, you’re steering from a more grounded place.

    The tiny shift isn’t pretending the big thing is small. It’s gathering yourself—recognize, release—so that when you refocus, you’re steering from a more grounded place. And then if you notice even a little bit of relief or clarity, you reinforce it. Okay. I can do this. This is also part of me. I can walk through this incredibly difficult time with more groundedness. And that might take thirty seconds. Or it might open up the realization that you need to take a half an hour this evening. That’s okay too. Because that’s a need you have, and the method helped you find it.

    Following up on that question of What do I need right now?—What if what we need is truly unrealistic or impossible—say, a more loving parent, or for more people to step up, or for more hours in a day? How do you get at what’s underneath all that so you can get to what can actually be addressed?

    Often when we’re overwhelmed, we struggle to even name what we need. So we can ask, What do I need right now? And if the honest answer is, I’m confused, I don’t know, I’m just so over it—then the actual need is “clarity.”  That’s always a one-to-one: confusion means the need is clarity. So then the question becomes, What’s going to support me in the direction of clarity? Maybe a conversation. Maybe journaling. Maybe space and time—and there’s no getting around that sometimes we just need to take time to reflect. You’re not going to get it without taking time to sit and be with something. We can do that together or we can do that individually, but there is a need, and there’s no getting around taking space for that. So the next layer is: What’s going to support me in creating that space? 

    Speaking of that, you do have a class coming up. Do you want to talk about? 

    Yes, we have this great program called the 21-Day Tiny Shift Experience, starting on May 11. I realize that change happens in the everyday moments of our lives, and this is a program of one- to three-minute daily voice notes delivered through WhatsApp—for people who want support in layering this into everyday life. People had incredible results the first time we ran it: more relief, more ease, more calm, real insight—without taking time out of their day, just by weaving in these tiny shifts over three weeks.

    And remind us—where can people find your  book and learn more?

    The book is Tiny Shifts, and there’s a free resource bundle at elishagoldstein.com/tiny-shifts—a quick guide to the method, three shorter meditations, and a needs and feelings inventory. 

    There’s still time to join the upcoming 21-day Tiny Shifts program, which starts on May 11, 2026. Register here.



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  • When Insight Isn’t Enough: An Interview with Juliana Sloane on Imagination, Hypnotherapy, and Deeper Transformation

    When Insight Isn’t Enough: An Interview with Juliana Sloane on Imagination, Hypnotherapy, and Deeper Transformation

    Meditation practice can bring remarkable clarity. Over time, practitioners often become more aware of their thoughts, emotions, and recurring patterns. But awareness alone does not always translate into change. Many meditators can clearly recognize habits of mind such as anxiety, self-criticism, or people-pleasing and still find themselves repeating the same patterns.

    Maybe it is the same relationship dynamic that keeps returning. Or the same inner voice of doubt that appears again and again during practice.

    What happens when recognizing a pattern still does not shift it?

    So what happens when recognizing a pattern still does not shift it?

    Juliana Sloane, a meditation teacher and hypnotherapist, works with practices that explore how deeper, subconscious layers of the mind and nervous system shape our behavior. In this conversation with Mindful, she discusses why understanding our patterns does not always lead to transformation, how imagination and altered states can open new pathways for change, and how mindfulness practitioners might recognize when something arising in practice is asking for deeper attention.

    Angela Stubbs: The topic I originally pitched for this conversation was “when insight isn’t enough.” Many people can recognize their patterns or understand why certain behaviors repeat in their lives. But insight alone does not always lead to real change. From your perspective, why is that?

    Most of the people who come to work with me already have a great deal of self-awareness. But despite that awareness, they still feel stuck. They cannot stop the anxiety. They cannot stop holding themselves to impossible standards. They keep entering relationships that are not right for them.

    Juliana Sloane: There are certainly situations where insight alone can be enough. Someone has an “aha” moment, something shifts internally, and the pattern loosens. But honestly, that is a fairly small percentage of cases I see, especially when it comes to deeply entrenched patterns and habits.

    Most of the people who come to work with me already have a great deal of self-awareness. They often have meditation practices, they have been to therapy, and they are interested in personal growth. They can clearly articulate what their patterns are.

    But despite that awareness, they still feel stuck. They cannot stop the anxiety. They cannot stop holding themselves to impossible standards. They keep entering relationships that are not right for them.

    These kinds of patterns are not just intellectual. They are deeply embedded habits of the mind and nervous system. People have often been repeating them for years, sometimes their entire lives. Over time those repetitions form very strong neural pathways that steer someone back into the same familiar pattern.

    Understanding the pattern can be helpful, but we also need ways to work with the deeper conditioning that keeps recreating it.

    A very common thing I hear is, “I have done a lot of work on this issue. I understand it intellectually. But something still feels stuck.”

    Angela Stubbs: How do people begin to recognize when something might need deeper exploration rather than continued observation or reflection?

    Juliana Sloane: Usually, by the time someone comes to see me, they already have a sense that something deeper is going on. A very common thing I hear is, “I have done a lot of work on this issue. I understand it intellectually. But something still feels stuck.”

    The feeling that there is ‘something deeper’ to explore is often a good sign someone might benefit from working with these layers of knowing and experience that lie further beneath the surface.

    The biggest time someone might not be ready is when they are hoping for a quick fix that doesn’t require their active participation. We’re not waving a magic wand, we’re actively engaging with the mind, body, and nervous system to create the change that’s needed.

    The work I do is about helping people develop tools to navigate their own inner worlds and access their own resources, insight, and wisdom. Ultimately, the goal is for people to feel more empowered in their own process and to realize that many of the answers they are looking for are already within them.

    Angela Stubbs: If many of these patterns live outside conscious awareness, what is happening beneath the level of the thinking mind?

    We tend to think that if we understand something intellectually we should be able to change it. But most of our behaviors and emotional responses are shaped by processes happening beyond the level of conscious thought.

    Juliana Sloane: A lot of the patterns people struggle with are operating outside conscious awareness. We tend to think that if we understand something intellectually we should be able to change it. But most of our behaviors and emotional responses are shaped by processes happening beyond the level of conscious thought.

    Over time repeated experiences form strong patterns in the mind and nervous system. Those patterns can become automatic, even to the extent that they begin to simply feel like part of who we are. Even when someone understands the pattern, they can still find themselves pulled back into it again and again.

    Awareness can help us recognize what is happening, but the deeper conditioning that drives those patterns may still be operating underneath.

    In many ways the conscious mind is only a small part of what is shaping our experience. If we are only working at that level, we are leaving a lot of the mind untouched.

    Angela Stubbs: You often use the word trance in your work. For readers who may not be familiar with that idea, what do you mean by trance?

    Juliana Sloane: When people hear the word trance, they often imagine something unusual or mysterious. And it certainly can feel magical, but that doesn’t mean it’s inaccessible. Trance is actually a very natural state of consciousness that people move in and out of all the time.

    People’s ideas about hypnosis typically come from stage shows or older models where someone appears to ‘take control’ of another person’s mind. But that is not really how modern hypnotherapeutic work functions. Hypnosis is much more collaborative and empowering than people often imagine. The person entering trance remains aware and engaged in the process the entire time.

    For example, when you are completely absorbed in a movie or a book and lose track of time, that is a kind of trance state. Your attention becomes focused and the usual analytical thinking mind quiets down.

    In those moments the mind becomes more open to imagery, emotion, intuition, and deeper layers of experience. In trance-based practices we are intentionally working with that state of focused awareness so people can explore those deeper layers of their own inner experience.

    Angela Stubbs: There are a lot of misconceptions about hypnosis. What do people often misunderstand about it?

    Juliana Sloane: People’s ideas about hypnosis typically come from stage shows or older models where someone appears to ‘take control’ of another person’s mind.

    But that is not really how modern hypnotherapeutic work functions. Hypnosis is much more collaborative and empowering than people often imagine. The person entering trance remains aware and engaged in the process the entire time.

    What happens is that the analytical thinking mind begins to relax a little. We start to get out of our own way, which allows deeper layers of the mind and our own awareness to become more available.

    Rather than controlling someone, the practitioner is helping create conditions where a person can explore their own inner experience in a different way and become an active agent of change in their own subconscious mind.

    In many modern contexts we think of imagination as something childish or unserious. But imagination is actually one of the most potent ways the mind communicates.

    Angela Stubbs: You speak about the role of imagination in this work. That can be surprising for people who tend to think of imagination as something unreal.

    Juliana Sloane: In many modern contexts we think of imagination as something childish or unserious. But imagination is actually one of the most potent ways the mind communicates.

    During a focused meditative or hypnotic process, things like imagery, metaphor, and archetype are often steeped in meaning. They’re not just ‘our imagination’ running wild, rather, they are symbols encoded with our beliefs, experiences, world view, memory, and so much more. In our day to day life, we often gloss over the power this holds. When people go into a hypnotic or trance-like state, those hidden metaphors, somatic experiences, and images naturally emerge for us to actively work with them. 

    Rather than dismissing those experiences as “just imagination,” we can begin to see them as powerful tools. Sometimes these experiences point us to deeper emotional patterns and allow us to process and integrate our experiences more fully. Sometimes they allow us agency to experience what it’s like to overcome obstacles or respond differently to things that used to trigger anxiety, self-doubt, or fear. For example, professional athletes do this all the time when they mentally rehearse breaking a record or performing at their best. Your brain doesn’t actually discriminate all that much whether you’re shooting the basket or envisioning shooting the basket– it takes that information and it runs with it. So when you’re working with a hypnotherapist, you’re using these tools to help your mind, body, and nervous system explore and integrate new options and ways of being. 

    Angela Stubbs: How do you see this work relating to mindfulness practice?

    Juliana Sloane: I don’t see this work as replacing mindfulness practice. In fact, I think mindfulness creates the foundation for this to be possible in the first place.

    Meditation helps people develop awareness of their thoughts, embodied experience, emotions, and patterns. That awareness is incredibly valuable because you cannot work with something if you don’t notice it.

    What often happens is that when people develop a meditation practice, they begin to clearly notice patterns in their thinking, reactions, and the way they approach their world. They find they can observe those patterns clearly, but it does not necessarily shift things in their day-to-day life.

    Practices that engage deeper layers of the mind can allow people to explore what might be underneath those patterns in a different way. Rather than replacing mindfulness, this kind of work can deepen the process that mindfulness begins.

    Practices that engage deeper layers of the mind can allow people to explore what might be underneath those patterns in a different way. Rather than replacing mindfulness, this kind of work can deepen the process that mindfulness begins.

    Angela Stubbs: Are there signs that something arising in practice might be inviting deeper exploration?

    Juliana Sloane: Often it is when a pattern—for example, anxiety, or self-criticism, or a repeated issue with work, relationships, or life—continues to show up again and again, even when someone is very aware of it.

    A person might recognize the pattern in meditation or in therapy. They understand where it comes from and they can see it happening in real time. But despite that awareness, it keeps repeating.

    That can sometimes be a signal that the pattern is rooted in deeper layers of the mind or nervous system.

    Those moments can become invitations to explore the pattern in a different way and to approach it with curiosity rather than trying to force it to change through understanding alone.

    Editor’s note:

    In a forthcoming article for Mindful, Juliana Sloane explores how meditation and hypnosis practices can support people living with chronic illness, including ways these approaches may help individuals relate differently to pain, fatigue, and the emotional challenges of long-term health conditions. Keep an eye on our homepage.



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  • A 12-Minute Meditation to Approach the World With a “Don’t-Know Mind”

    A 12-Minute Meditation to Approach the World With a “Don’t-Know Mind”

    We can find strength and resilience in familiarity—and use those feelings to explore the unfamiliar.

    At the beginning of every meditation practice that I teach, I offer up a little bit of instruction for the posture, so that you can experience this practice as being as supportive as possible to your body.

    A Meditation to Approach the World With a “Don’t-Know Mind” 

    1. I would like to invite you to come to a place that is truly comfortable and supportive to your practice. For some of you, this may mean a seated position on a chair, on a sofa, or even on some cushions on the floor. This might mean standing up, if that’s more supportive to your back and your posture. And for some of you, this may mean lying down on the ground. Please take a moment to come to whatever place is going to feel most compassionate to your body.
    2. Some of you may want to fully close your eyes for this meditation practice. And others may want to employ what I like to call a “soft gaze,” which is looking down at the ground about two inches in front of the knees or the feet.
    3. When you’ve settled into a comfortable position, I would love to invite you to take three deep breaths with me. As you’re taking those three deep breaths, you may notice that your body may begin to relax naturally. You may start to feel a little bit more deeply connected to whatever place makes contact with the earth. For some of you that’s going to be your feet, and for others that may be your back. Notice whatever place comes into contact with the earth in this moment.
    4. Begin to draw your attention and awareness to the connection between your body and the earth. It might feel beneficial at this point to take another deep inhale and exhale here. When you’re finished, return your breath back to a natural cadence and rhythm.
    5. You may notice the quality of the sound in the room that you’re in. Maybe there are some ambient noises that are coming from inside of wherever you are, whatever building you’re in. Or maybe there are sounds that are coming from outside. Please feel free to make these a part of your practice.
    6. Begin to draw your awareness to the bottoms of your feet, wherever they are landing on the earth. What do you notice? Does the right foot or the left foot feel slightly heavier than the other? As you notice the difference between the right and the left foot, perhaps you might also become aware of other micro-adjustments inside of your body.
    7. You may notice that the mind continues to produce thoughts, and that’s OK. The point of a meditation practice is not necessarily to stop thinking the thoughts that you are thinking, but rather to just be aware of the thoughts as they flow through the body and the mind. As you draw your awareness to your thoughts, you can also bring your awareness to the rhythm of your breath as it flows in and out of your body.
    8. I would like to invite you to bring your attention to the muscles of the belly and notice if they’ve been drawn in a little bit tightly towards the spine. Is it possible to invite a sense of relaxation, and even vulnerability, to the muscles of the belly by allowing them to be soft? Don’t worry, no one is watching. How does it feel when you invite a sense of softness and relaxation to the belly? How does the rest of the body respond?
    9. While your attention is here, you might begin to imagine a person, place, animal, or object that is deeply familiar to you. Perhaps this animal, person, place, or object reminds you of what it feels like to be home. Can you bring them into the room with you right now?
    10. Notice if that invitation has an impact on your breath, as it rises and falls from your chest. You might even feel a bit more safe in the space of this practice as you invite the image of what reminds you of being home, of being held.
    11. What is familiar to you, deeply familiar, about this person, animal, place, or object, that makes you feel as though you really know them? What is the feeling of knowing? What is the feeling of familiarity, and how does it land inside of the body? The invitation is to bring your attention back to the breath anytime that you notice yourself getting caught up in the story.
    12. Now, bring to mind an image of something that reminds you of what it means to be strong and resilient. Maybe there’s someone who you really look up to, or a place you’ve been that made you feel truly strong and resilient when you were there. Can you bring into your mind’s awareness the embodied sensations of being strong and resilient? Does your body make slight changes and shifts as you recall how this feels?
    13. Now we’re going to do a little bit of experimenting. Hopefully this will be fun. There’s a term called “don’t know mind” that is sometimes used in meditation to invoke a sense of curiosity.
    14. What is it like to approach the world with a “don’t know mind?” You may find that this is a bit of a contrast to the feeling of familiarity that we began to explore in the beginning of this practice. The feeling of familiarity is the feeling of, “Oh yes, I know. I know this person. I know this place. I know this animal or this object. They are deeply familiar to me.” Perhaps the way we view things, which are seemingly familiar to us, can begin to shift and change ever so slightly when we apply the pure curiosity of “don’t know mind.” How does that land in the body? This exploration of not knowing, of not being quite certain?
    15. At this point in your practice, you may notice if there are places in the body that begin to contract when we explore the feeling of “don’t know mind,” and that’s OK. This is the body’s intelligence. Can we unite this exploration of “don’t know mind” with those same sensations of strength and resilience, so that we know that no matter what, when we encounter moments of uncertainty and not-knowing that we have all the strength and resilience inside of our body to meet with that moment? What does it feel like to meet strength and resilience with not-knowing? Can we be truly curious about what arises in our awareness with this practice? Let’s take just a few moments in silence together now and explore the way that this feels.
    16. When you’re ready please bring your entire body into your mind’s eye and notice the difference between the way the body feels now and the way the body felt when you first entered into this space of practice. Take the time to notice the way the feet feel slightly different in the way they connect to the earth.
    17. Let’s all take one more deep breath in here.
    18. When you’re ready, at your own pace and rhythm, please begin to, ever so slowly and gently, open up the eyes, without staring at anything in particular. Allow color and texture to flood back into your mind’s awareness.
       
    19. From here we can begin the process of reorienting to the room that we’re in. Gently begin to turn and rotate the head and the neck, and take in the colors and textures of the space you are in. Notice if there’s anything new or different or alive in the space. What has changed since you started this practice?



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  • Inner Calm: The Key is Letting Go

    Inner Calm: The Key is Letting Go

    We often hear about inner calm, but it can be so much more than a fleeting moment of peace after yoga or the perfect massage. Inner calm is actually our ability to let go of attachments and reactions to life’s events, resulting in ease and clarity.

    As a mindfulness skill, inner calm is the ability to let go of attachments and reactivity based on an understanding of impermanence—the changing nature of our thoughts, emotions, and desires. When we find ourselves rushing and reacting, we can remind ourselves, This too shall pass. The purpose is not to negate what we’re feeling but to put brakes on accelerated feelings. Once we return to our inner stillness, we can look at the source of our reactivity, intimately seeing its changing nature: This right here is what frees us.

    Once we return to our inner stillness, we can look at the source of our reactivity, intimately seeing its changing nature: This right here is what frees us.

    As a practice, inner calm is the art of stopping, looking and letting go for purposes of healing and clarity. It involves physical composure and mental tranquility. It can be seen as the ultimate balm for your soul—like a cool breeze on a hot day. Inner calm brings ease to body and mind alike. In the body, composure is experienced in the muscles and as an overall feeling of ease. In the mind, inner calm creates the space to hold everything without attachment and resistance. Conversely, the absence of inner calm may show up as restlessness in the body and agitation or reactivity in the mind.

    Seeking inner calm can often leave us wanting more, but it’s ironic that true inner calm is achieved when we let go of our desires, even the desire for inner calm itself—a catch-22 if there ever was one. This paradox becomes evident when we consider the case of a client dealing with anxiety who turned to meditation as a way to ease his mind. Surprisingly, he found himself even more anxious post-meditation. He had hoped that meditation would improve his sleep, but he was left frustrated when he observed his restlessness during a body scan meditation, which only seemed to worsen his sleep problems.

    The moral here? To find peace, he had to let go first of his expectations around finding peace. In order to let go, he learned to see the three hindrances to his achieving mindfulness: running in circles (a restless mind), pulling (striving to sleep), and pushing (frustrated with his restlessness). With practice, he learned to accept his restless mind, which softened the striving and frustration, and he was able to find ease, even when he couldn’t sleep, which ultimately allowed him to sleep.

    Letting go of attachments to certain outcomes doesn’t, however, mean that we’re suppressing or evading challenging situations. Instead, this release occurs organically when we comprehend that emotions arise and dissolve—all within ninety seconds.

    The Ninety-Second Rule

    Inner calm is not about suppressing, denying, or avoiding our emotions. When we don’t give in to the urge to react, we’re cultivating the ability to stay with unpleasantness (knowing that emotions are physiological responses in the body that will arise and dissolve). Just as happiness triggered by external events doesn’t last, negative emotions also don’t last. Have you heard of the ninety-second rule? Neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor reveals in her book My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey that all emotions have a beginning, middle, and end—all within ninety seconds from when they first arise.

    The reason we continue to experience negative emotions, sometimes for days, weeks, and even years, is that we continue to fuel these feelings with our narratives. Instead, if we stop and let the emotion move through our body, we’ll create space in our minds to better understand what they are trying to tell us. Rather than suppressing or using positive thinking to bypass our experience, we can form an alliance with our feelings. By doing this, we can uncover how they’re trying to protect us, address our unmet needs, or draw our attention to new information in the environment.

    The ninety-second rule is a helpful reminder to ride the waves of our emotions, but emotions can sometimes be so powerful that they hijack our rational thought processes. It’s helpful in these situations to remember where those emotions come from—deep in the past, when we were hunter-gatherers facing real tigers!

    How Inner Calm Supports Resilience

    So much of our lives are marked by perceived threats to our identity, career, or relationships. Our primal reactions—fight-flight-freeze—can be unhelpful when it comes to navigating these everyday psychological and social stressors. What’s needed to resolve problems common to the modern world is clarity and creativity, but our reaction is the opposite—to fight, flee, or freeze. This evolutionary response to any threat is automatic and unconscious.

    What’s needed to resolve problems common to the modern world is clarity and creativity, but our reaction is the opposite—to fight, flee, or freeze.

    When our emotions are triggered such that we can’t think or see clearly, it’s called an “amygdala hijack”—a term popularized by emotional intelligence expert Daniel Goleman. The amygdala is the emotional center of the brain. One of its functions is to scan the environment for threats and prepare the body for an emergency response. When it perceives a threat, such as a tiger lurking in the bushes, it sends an immediate signal to release stress hormones—adrenaline and cortisol—that ramp up an emergency response. Blood stops flowing to the organs and instead floods into the limbs to prepare us for fight or flight. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for thinking and executive decision-making) shuts down because there is no time to think and analyze when we’re facing what the brain perceives as a life-threatening situation.

    During an amygdala hijack, it is said that our IQ temporarily drops by ten to fifteen points. Maybe this explains that feeling after we’ve reacted to a verbal trigger: What was I thinking when I said that? That’s exactly the point. We stop thinking rationally. It also compromises memory, which is why we can’t remember a single good thing about a person with whom we have a conflict or why we can’t find our keys in the middle of a panic attack. Being in a continuous state of fight or flight from modern threats also compromises the integrity of other systems, like immunity and digestion.

    Cultivating inner calm is an important step in avoiding the amygdala hijack so we can think clearly even in highly charged situations. Using practices to promote inner calm—like breath awareness—helps slow our escalating emotions and allows the parasympathetic nervous system to kick back in so we can once again think clearly. Another activity that nudges the prefrontal cortex to start thinking again is “noting” or “labeling.” The act of noting or labeling our emotions gets the prefrontal cortex to regain healthy communication with the amygdala and avoids the hijack. Inner calm offers opportunities to learn and improve or for us to provide a deeper understanding of the “what” and the “why” behind our actions. We can replace tension and misunderstanding with harmony and understanding. Inner calm is key for resilience in relationships and life in general.

    Where Are You on the Inner Calm Continuum?

    You can strengthen your ability for inner calm, regardless of your circumstances. First, pay attention to when you’re calm and when you’re not. Next, notice the causes and conditions that promote calm and what stops you from being calm. By cultivating a habit of calming the mind and body, you’ll develop the ability to access this place more quickly and easily.

    Daily Practice: One-Minute Rest

    Rested, we care again for the right things and
    the right people in the right way.
    —David Whyte

    Take time in your day, several times a day, if possible, to empty your cup and make space for what matters. You can do this very quickly by checking in with your body.

    1. Any tension or tightness in the body is a clue that you’re holding on to something that needs your loving attention. You can’t let go without knowing what it is you’re trying to let go. Just turning your attention to places you’re holding tension can help you uncover the emotions and thoughts associated with that tension.
    2. Once you can see the cause of your tension, you can figure out the solution. It’s also clarifying to realign with your intentions as you’re emptying your cup—what is it you’re clearing the space for?
    3. Return. Take a one-minute rest and return to your body. Rub the palms of your hand and place them on your eyes, allowing them to rest. Move your hands to your jawline, neck, shoulders, chest, or wherever feels good in your body.
    4. Listen. Listen within. What can you let go of at this moment to make room for what matters?
    5. Begin. Begin your activities with a relaxed body and mind aligned with what matters.

    Try practicing and playing with this reminder with your family, with team members, and in your community before beginning a meeting or activity together.

    Excerpted from the book Return to Mindfulness: Disrupting Default Habits for Personal Fulfillment, Effective Leadership, and Global Impact by Shalini Bahl Milne. Copyright © 2024 Shalini Bahl Milne. Republished with permission from the author. Return to Mindfulness will be available on Amazon on January 18, 2024.



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  • A Meditation to Skillfully Connect With Your Anger

    A Meditation to Skillfully Connect With Your Anger

    I’m delighted to offer you a series of meditations on building emotional resilience. Over the next four classes we’ll explore how to mindfully practice with four really common emotions: anger, anxiety, longing, and joy. I’ll offer some practices you can use both while you meditate and also in your life, when these emotions arise. Here, we’re looking at how to connect with your anger in a way that offers insight and choices, rather than just reactivity and overwhelm.

    What’s An Emotion?

    Let’s first explore what an emotion is. This is a rich topic that has even inspired some heated debate. If you find you’re interested beyond the scope of what we talk here, I encourage you to explore the work of two psychologists: Paul Ekman, and Lisa Feldman Barrett, who wrote a recent book called How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain. The work of these two author/scientists provides a good overview of the two differing viewpoints of the current discussion around human emotion. In the meantime, I’ll be sharing what I know with you here.

    I don’t know about you, but I experience emotions as a combination of thoughts in my mind, plus physical or energetic sensations in my body, and the interaction between those two. When we’re meditating, we can see, via our moment-to-moment experience, that emotions are indeed made up of both mental content—such as visual and auditory thoughts—and physical sensations. And when we talk about physical sensations, let’s include all kinds: so, sensations we receive through our sense doors (seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and touch), but also all of the physical sensations within our bodies.

    I don’t know about you, but I experience emotions as a combination of thoughts in my mind, plus physical or energetic sensations in my body, and the interaction between those two.

    There’s a great deal of nuance when it comes to our emotions and our understanding of them, but physical sensations in our bodies tend to get divided into two categories: physiological (ie: digestion, breathing, temperature, the feeling of our body and the weight of gravity); and what I refer to as emotional sensations or the felt sense in our body. A couple of examples: when we talk about having butterflies in our stomach when we’re nervous or excited; or the feeling of listening to a heart-warming story, which can actually produce a physical feeling of warmth in our chest. (Try to notice that the next time it happens).

    Essentially, emotions are energy moving in our body. And that energy calls us to certain kinds of actions. Our emotions also help us connect with other people, and they provide us insight into our lives and a better understanding of what we value, what we want in the world.

    Emotions In the Body vs. In the Mind

    In my daily life, and in my meditation practice, I find it’s more helpful to attend to the physical sensations related to emotions rather than the thinking around those emotions. I say that because thoughts happen so quickly. It’s also so easy for us to get caught up and swept away in a story—to forget that thinking is happening and just be caught up inside of it. Physical sensations, on the other hand, are less subtle. That makes bringing our attention to them and holding them in our attention a lot easier. Physical sensations don’t move as quickly as thoughts, so we can notice them and notice how they shift and change. An added bonus: simply noticing the sensations in our body can provide us with a kind of grounding, an anchor. It’s a great starting point in both daily life and when we meditate, and we’ll explore that together here.

    As we get to know our emotions, I really encourage developing an attitude of acceptance, respect and care for them—think of it as an honouring of our emotional world. Our emotions can offer so much rich information about our lives, about what we value, what we want; they also play a vital role in our relationships, providing the foundation of our connection in communication with others. In fact, some social scientists posit that the main role of emotions in our lives is really about social interaction and connection. It’s worth repeating: emotions deserve and are worthy of our attention, respect and care.

    So together we’re going to practice skilfully connecting with and being curious about our emotions. And here’s our aim: not to act out with regards to the emotions we feel, but also not to suppress them. We’re going to practice just connecting with the emotion, holding it, being curious about it, with no expectation or drive to have to act it out, and not having to suppress or deny or ignore it either.

    I really want to emphasize, too, that finding this middle way doesn’t mean we’re aiming to be indifferent or passive about our emotions. It just means that we’re going to take the time to actually be with the emotion long enough to figure out what the skillful response is—rather than get caught up in reacting to the surging energy of that emotion we’re feeling. Oftentimes we will still want to take action based on an emotion. In fact, that’s what they’re telling us: something has arisen that we need to act on. But what we’ll do in this practice is try to nudge ourselves into territory where we can act out of connection and care rather than a buzzing desire to get rid of the feeling we’re feeling—because that’s not acting, it’s reacting.

    How to Connect With Your Anger Mindfully

    In this first class together we’ll explore anger. We’ll think about a recent situation where we may have been angry, or for the lucky ones joining this meditation, maybe you’re feeling a little anger right now? (Talk about excellent timing!)

    Before we get started, let’s talk a little bit about anger. Like every emotion, anger is totally natural and actually an extremely life-affirming emotion. Anger’s fundamental role is to protect us and protect what we care about in the world. It lets us know when a limit of ours, or a boundary, has been crossed. It lets us know when our needs are not being met or when someone we care about is in danger. So anger both lets us know something about what’s happening around us, and it energizes us to act. It rouses us to the necessary energy level to be able to respond to a threat. It’s essentially about protecting life.

    At the same time, we know that when anger is misdirected or when we act on it compulsively, it can be a truly destructive force—for our own physical health, our relationships, and in some instances, in the wider world. So we want to learn how to respect, honour, care for and be with our anger—and gain some insight into the most skilful response in any given situation, rather than go with the reactive response that could cause more harm. 

    The first step, then, is to recognize and respect anger. This is what’s happening, and it’s part of the human experience. And we respect it by understanding that our anger is trying to take care of us in some way, even if it’s maladaptive for the situation. We’re aiming to learn how to be with the anger, see what’s really there, and then see how we want to respond. So let’s try this together.

    Meditating on the Power of Anger

    Watch the video:

    Listen to the practice:

    Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.

    1. When you’re ready, come into a comfortable seated position. If it feels comfortable to close your eyes, please do so. Let’s take a few deeper breaths. Just allow yourself to feel the points of contact with the cushion or chair beneath you; feel your feet on the ground. Feel a sense of grounding here. Take a few longer inhales and exhales just to settle.
    2. Now let’s bring to mind a recent situation when we felt angry. As with any practice around difficult emotions, for anger, let’s think about the angriest we’ve ever been as a level 10. What we’re seeking for the purposes of this exercise, then, is a situation that’s a three, or maybe a four. Consider something you experienced at the level of irritation or annoyance; don’t choose the last time you felt, say, enraged. When was the last time you felt irritated, annoyed or frustrated, perhaps about something someone did or said? Just bring to mind that situation.
    3. Draw an image of this past situation into your mind. Recall the words that were spoken. Remember your own thought process related to the experience. At this point, you may be feeling some sensations in your body. Let’s go deeper. Can you recall the story you told (or tell) yourself around this experience? For example: What this person did or shouldn’t have done? How you were wronged? How it should have been different. Whatever it is, let that story run its course for you right now. Let it run until you begin to feel a sense of irritation or annoyance in your body.
    4. Once you feel the irritation, we’re going to cut off the thoughts we’re having. Just cut off the storyline. This is vitally important with almost every difficult emotion. Step one: firmly direct your attention away from the story you’re telling. Next: bring your attention to your body. Really feel what’s going on inside your body. Where do you feel the anger in your body? Maybe in your chest? Your hands? Just notice that.
    5. Now, what else is happening in your body? Find something that feels neutral, spacious or maybe even pleasant in your body. Maybe you feel this in your feet, or your contact with the chair. Maybe you’re focused on your hands touching. We’re simply creating some space around the anger. Notice the tip of your nose; notice your breath. If you can’t find any sensations in your body that feel safe or free from anger, take a moment to listen to the sounds around you. You can even broaden your awareness to include the whole room; and even further to include sounds that are far away. Rest your attention with these sensations for a few minutes. Allow yourself to find some ease and a bit of calm.
    6. If you find your mind wanders back to the story, the thoughts about what’s making you angry, gently but firmly redirect your attention to the neutral sounds and neutral sensations you’ve identified. Just take a few breaths here.
    7. Once we feel a little calmer, we can explore the anger more directly again. Let’s come back to where we feel anger in our body. Explore that: Do you feel tightness in your throat? Are there any sensations in your shoulders? How about your arms? Do you detect any sensations in your belly? If you find a place, really explore the sensation: Is there a temperature to this felt sense of anger, is it hot or cold? Is it throbbing? What are the edges like? Is it shifting and changing? As you stay with the felt sense of irritation, frustration, anger, and the directly felt sensations of hot, cold, vibrating, sharp—hold all of this with a lot of care and curiosity.
    8. Now let’s notice what other emotions might be present. Is there anything else inside or beneath the anger? Can you detect any other emotions there? Fear? Sadness? Wanting? Just notice. Is there anything the anger might be masking? Be curious. Allow this to be very somatic. We’re not thinking about it, we’re not trying to understand it cognitively, we’re just letting the emotion reveal itself in a very direct, body-based way.
    9. Notice if any other information arises from this anger. You could even drop in a question, such as: What does this anger need? What does it want me to know? Again, we’re just dropping the question into the felt sense in our bodies, and then seeing what arises. Are there flashes, images, words that could help you understand what’s needed? Do you get a sense of what action you may need to take? Let’s take another few moments of holding and being with the felt sensation of the irritation. Be curious about what your anger wants you to know, perhaps about what is needed.
    10. As we bring this practice to a close, see if you have any insights into what you could do skilfully to respond to this irritation or anger. What would truly take care of this anger or frustration? Exploring our emotion in this way, we’re better prepared to respond in a rooted and grounded way; we’re better equipped to address what’s needed. As we finish, then, we can make a commitment to take whatever skillful action is needed. It might be something personal, such as some kind of self-care: maybe a walk, a nap, a meal. Or we might commit to having a direct and difficult conversation with someone, perhaps to ask for what you need or to set a limit. Just see if you can commit to taking one skillful action to address this situation.
    11. When you’re ready, open your eyes if they’ve been closed and take a deep breath. Look around the room and orient yourself to your space, wherever you are.

    Try to practice these skills in your daily life. If at any point you encounter in yourself feelings of anger or frustration, first: notice how you’re feeling: “Oh, anger,” or “I’m irritated.” Next, find some ground: feel your feet on the ground, feel the back of your body. And then notice what is not feeling angry in that moment, too. Get some space around the anger, and really open your awareness wide to the sounds and the space around you.

    I can’t recommend this enough. And it can take as little as five seconds simply to connect with your feet on the ground and broaden your awareness. Then, when you feel some space and calmness around the anger, you can direct your attention back to the difficult emotion and ask that question: What is needed? What is needed right now? And then proceed from that place.

    Calm Your Mind with Zindel Segal 

    Zindel Segal explores the 3-Minute Breathing Space practice to develop your ability to ground yourself, return your attention to the present, and fully find yourself at any moment. Read More 

    • Zindel Segal
    • April 11, 2019



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  • Cultivating Resilience: How to Stay Positive in the Face of Adversity

    Cultivating Resilience: How to Stay Positive in the Face of Adversity

    Introduction to Cultivating Resilience

    Cultivating resilience is an essential skill for navigating the challenges of modern life. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, trauma, or significant stress, and it is a quality that can be developed and strengthened over time. When we are resilient, we are better equipped to handle the ups and downs of life, and we are more likely to emerge from difficult situations with a positive outlook and a renewed sense of purpose. In this article, we will explore the concept of resilience, discuss the benefits of cultivating resilience, and provide practical tips and strategies for staying positive in the face of adversity.

    Understanding Resilience

    Resilience is not just about being able to withstand challenges; it is also about being able to learn and grow from them. When we are resilient, we are able to approach problems with a sense of curiosity and openness, rather than fear or resistance. We are able to see challenges as opportunities for growth and development, rather than threats to our well-being. Resilience is also closely linked to emotional intelligence, which involves being able to recognize and manage our emotions, as well as empathize with others.

    The Benefits of Cultivating Resilience

    Cultivating resilience has numerous benefits, both for individuals and for society as a whole. Some of the key benefits of resilience include:

    • Improved mental health: Resilience is closely linked to mental health, and people who are resilient are less likely to experience anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.

    • Better relationships: Resilient people are more likely to have strong, supportive relationships, which are essential for both physical and mental health.

    • Increased productivity: When we are resilient, we are more able to manage stress and stay focused, which can lead to greater productivity and achievement.

    • Greater sense of purpose: Resilience is closely linked to a sense of purpose and meaning, and people who are resilient are more likely to feel connected to their values and goals.

    Strategies for Cultivating Resilience

    So, how can we cultivate resilience? Here are some practical strategies for staying positive in the face of adversity:

    • Practice self-care: Taking care of our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs is essential for building resilience. This can include activities such as exercise, meditation, and spending time in nature.

    • Develop a growth mindset: People with a growth mindset believe that their abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work and dedication. This mindset is essential for resilience, as it allows us to approach challenges with a sense of curiosity and openness.

    • Build a support network: Having a strong support network of friends, family, and colleagues is essential for resilience. When we have people to turn to in times of need, we are more likely to feel supported and less alone.

    • Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness involves being present in the moment, without judgment. This can help us to stay focused and calm, even in the face of challenges.

    Overcoming Obstacles to Resilience

    While cultivating resilience is an important goal, there are often obstacles that can get in the way. Some common obstacles to resilience include:

    • Negative thinking patterns: Negative thinking patterns, such as self-criticism and catastrophizing, can make it difficult to cultivate resilience.

    • Lack of self-care: Failing to take care of our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs can make us more vulnerable to stress and adversity.

    • Trauma and adversity: Experiencing trauma or significant adversity can make it difficult to cultivate resilience, as it can affect our ability to trust ourselves and others.

    Building Resilience in the Face of Adversity

    So, how can we build resilience in the face of adversity? Here are some strategies for staying positive and focused, even in difficult circumstances:

    • Stay present: When we are faced with challenges, it can be tempting to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets about the past. However, staying present and focused on the moment can help us to stay grounded and calm.

    • Practice gratitude: Focusing on the things we are grateful for, rather than the things that are going wrong, can help us to stay positive and resilient.

    • Seek support: Reaching out to friends, family, or a therapist can provide us with the support and guidance we need to navigate challenging situations.

    Conclusion

    Cultivating resilience is an essential skill for navigating the challenges of modern life. By understanding the concept of resilience, recognizing its benefits, and practicing strategies for building resilience, we can develop the skills and resources we need to stay positive and focused, even in the face of adversity. Whether we are facing personal or professional challenges, resilience can help us to emerge stronger, wiser, and more compassionate. By prioritizing self-care, developing a growth mindset, and building a support network, we can cultivate the resilience we need to thrive in all areas of our lives.

    FAQs

    Q: What is resilience, and why is it important?
    A: Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, trauma, or significant stress. It is important because it allows us to navigate challenges with greater ease and emerge stronger, wiser, and more compassionate.

    Q: How can I cultivate resilience?
    A: You can cultivate resilience by practicing self-care, developing a growth mindset, building a support network, and practicing mindfulness.

    Q: What are some common obstacles to resilience?
    A: Common obstacles to resilience include negative thinking patterns, lack of self-care, and trauma or adversity.

    Q: How can I build resilience in the face of adversity?
    A: You can build resilience in the face of adversity by staying present, practicing gratitude, and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist.

    Q: Is resilience something that can be developed, or is it an innate trait?
    A: Resilience is something that can be developed and strengthened over time, with practice and dedication.

    Q: How can I prioritize self-care and make it a part of my daily routine?
    A: You can prioritize self-care by scheduling time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit, such as exercise, meditation, and spending time in nature.

  • To Manifest What You Want, Passion Will Spark Your Intentions, Not Pressure

    To Manifest What You Want, Passion Will Spark Your Intentions, Not Pressure

    It’s draining to reach for what you want when you’re disconnected from passion. Here are 7 steps to investigate what drives you, so you can get clear on staying the course.

    What drives you? What gives you goosebumps? Makes you smile unexpectedly? What do you get lost in? Lose time in? Within the answers to those questions, you’ll find your passions. And when it comes to manifesting what you want out of life, a good place to start is gently investigating your passions.

    Here’s a simple, 7-step guide to help you bring life to new directions and to create a compelling sense of the why behind your intentions. I call it the RESOLVE practice.

    How to Manifest What You Want: RESOLVE

    R — Recognize a yearning for change

    So, you want to turn in a new direction? Then you’ve already got what you need to start making changes. Once you can see that you want more freshness in your life, you can kick your resolve into gear and make it happen.

    E — Engage all your resources

    As we learn to tune into the body, watch our thoughts, and become friendly with our emotions, we develop inner “resources” that we can call on to help us create a feeling of stability. Engaging your resources can include forming an allegiance with someone who is also seeking to strengthen their resolve. Anything that helps support you in your cause is a resource.

    Engaging your resources can include forming an allegiance with someone who is also seeking to strengthen their resolve. Anything that helps support you in your cause is a resource.

    S — Soften your need for speed

    Instead, make headway slowly. Impatience can be a tremendous drain on your motivation. You learn as you go, so adopt a more relaxed pace that allows you time to investigate and learn from what you are experiencing.

    O — Open up to why this matters to you

    Let yourself feel why this is worth the effort. Recall that you chose this route because you were determined to grow your resolve. Return to this initial inspiration whenever you need a boost of motivation.

    L — Learn to make allies of your obstacles

    If you take the time to stop, breathe, and examine your obstacles you might discover that some dissolve under inspection. We often fear taking a stand.  We may use catastrophic thinking or overly exaggerate a negative result. Sometimes the greatest obstacle is the fear of change itself. We can gently notice this too. Awareness will feed our resolve.

    V — Value your own efforts

    It takes determination, energy, and powerful intention to connect with our heart’s desires. No effort is wasted. All will serve to strengthen your ability to trust yourself and your ability to stand up for what you want.

    E — Enjoy the twists and turns

    Plans have a nasty habit of changing or veering off course. Learn to adapt your route as your resolve propels you forward. The curve balls and surprises are what make life such a titillating adventure.

    This article provides additional information related to a column that appeared in the February 2018 issue of Mindful magazine.

    How to Make a Mindful Resolution 

    Hard-knuckling it through our New Year’s goals can strain even the best intentions. Here’s a mindful strategy for less stress and more success in keeping your resolutions. Read More 

    • Elaine Smookler
    • June 5, 2018



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  • Discover 10 Essential Science-Backed Coping Skills to Improve Mood and Master Mental Resilience

    Discover 10 Essential Science-Backed Coping Skills to Improve Mood and Master Mental Resilience

    In today’s fast-paced world, mental health is crucial for overall well-being. Improving mood and building mental resilience are foundational to coping effectively with life’s challenges. This article explores 10 science-backed strategies that help enhance mood and strengthen resilience, highlighting coping skills grounded in credible mental health research.

    How Can I Improve My Mood Quickly?

    Scientific studies show that simple lifestyle changes can rapidly elevate mood. Taking a 10-minute walk without distractions, such as phones, can refresh the mind, boost endorphins, and reduce stress levels. Listening to music with an uplifting tempo activates brain reward pathways, promoting happiness. Mindfulness meditation has robust evidence supporting its ability to reduce anxiety and enhance positive emotional states by bringing focus to the present moment.

    What Are Effective Science-Backed Mental Resilience Strategies?

    Mental resilience equips individuals to bounce back from adversity. One key strategy is cultivating strong social connections, which provide emotional support and practical help. Regularly practicing gratitude, such as through journaling, shifts attention toward positive aspects of life and builds an optimistic mindset. Reflecting on past challenges and how they were overcome fosters hope and confidence in future coping.

    1. Physical Activity Affect Mood and Resilience

    Physical exercise benefits both mood and resilience through multiple mechanisms. It triggers the release of brain chemicals like serotonin and dopamine, which regulate mood and motivation. Morning sunlight exposure synchronizes circadian rhythms and increases vitamin D production, improving mood regulation. Additionally, getting sufficient sleep and maintaining a nutrient-rich diet support cognitive function and emotional balance, which are critical for mental resilience.

    2. Practice Journaling for Self-Reflection

    Journaling helps increase awareness of thoughts and feelings, promoting emotional processing and resilience. Writing about daily experiences and challenges can foster personal meaning and new perspectives, helping manage stress more effectively.

    3. Act in Line with Personal Values

    Making conscious choices consistent with one’s values, even in difficult situations, fosters a sense of purpose and control. This value-driven action boosts motivation and mental strength, helping individuals navigate adversity while maintaining self-compassion and care.

    4. Nature and Environment Influence Mental Health

    Spending time in nature daily, even in small doses, has been shown to reduce stress hormone levels and improve mood. Ecotherapy research highlights how natural environments foster calmness and mental clarity. Decluttering living spaces also contributes to decreased anxiety and improved concentration by reducing environmental stressors.

    5. Coping Skills to Help Manage Stress and Anxiety

    Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, or prayer engage the parasympathetic nervous system, lowering heart rate and promoting calm. Developing problem-solving skills enhances confidence in managing stressors effectively. Purposeful action, actively addressing challenges rather than avoiding them, builds emotional strength and resilience over time.

    7. Pets or Horticulture Improve Mental Health

    Interacting with pets has been linked to reduced cortisol levels, a stress hormone, and increased oxytocin levels, which foster feelings of bonding and calm. Volunteering at animal shelters provides social connection and purposeful engagement. Gardening and horticulture therapy engage users in nurturing life, leading to improved mood and reduced symptoms of depression.

    8. Learning and Intellectual Engagement Boost Mood

    Lifelong learning stimulates cognitive function and builds self-esteem, integral elements of mental resilience. Engaging in new skills or knowledge creates a sense of achievement and purpose. This active mental exercise aligns with research suggesting that intellectual engagement protects against mental decline and improves emotional well-being.

    9. Develop Mindfulness and Present Awareness

    Mindfulness practices—such as meditation, mindful breathing, or body scans—train the brain to stay anchored in the present moment. Research from neuroscience and clinical psychology shows that mindfulness reduces amygdala overactivation (the brain’s fear center) and enhances the prefrontal cortex’s control over emotional regulation. This leads to greater calm, reduced rumination, and improved recovery from stress. Even short daily sessions (5–10 minutes) can lower cortisol levels and build long-term emotional resilience.

    10. Reframe Negative Thinking Through Cognitive Flexibility

    Cognitive-behavioral research highlights that resilient individuals can reinterpret challenges rather than catastrophize them. Cognitive reframing—actively shifting negative thoughts into balanced or constructive interpretations—helps reduce anxiety and promotes adaptive coping. For example, viewing a setback as a learning opportunity rather than a failure encourages perseverance and growth. Practicing flexible thinking through techniques like “thought labeling” or “evidence testing” strengthens mental agility and stress tolerance.

    When Should You Seek Professional Help for Mental Health?

    Recognizing signs of persistent low mood, anxiety, or inability to cope is crucial. Professional mental health support offers structured interventions tailored to individuals’ needs. Therapists assist in developing coping skills and often provide evidence-based treatments, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, that improve resilience and mood sustainably.

    Implementing these 10 science-backed strategies can significantly improve mood and mental resilience. From simple walks and meditation to nurturing social bonds and intellectual engagement, these coping skills foster emotional well-being grounded in robust mental health research. Consistent practice can empower individuals to face life’s challenges with strength and optimism, contributing to lasting mental wellness.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    1. What is the difference between mental resilience and mood improvement?

    Mental resilience refers to the ability to adapt to adversity, regulate emotions, and recover from stress or trauma over time. Mood improvement involves short-term changes in emotional state that make a person feel better in the moment. While improving mood can boost immediate well-being, mental resilience contributes to long-term psychological stability and coping with life’s challenges.

    2. How does psychological resilience protect against mood disorders?

    Research indicates that individuals with higher psychological resilience are less likely to develop mood disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder. Resilience improves emotional regulation and positive cognitive strategies, which buffer against negative emotions and support mental health stability under stress.

    3. Can cognitive abilities influence mental resilience and mood?

    Yes, cognitive functions like inhibitory control —the brain’s ability to regulate impulses and distractions —play a role in mental resilience. Studies show that stronger inhibitory control is linked to better mood and greater resilient behavior in everyday stressful situations, reinforcing the connection between brain function and emotional well-being.

    4. How do positive and negative emotions relate to mental resilience

    People with higher mental resilience tend to experience more positive emotions even in stressful situations, using humor, optimism, and emotional regulation to cope. While resilience does not eliminate negative emotions, it helps individuals manage them effectively, reducing the risk of anxiety and depression over time.



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