Tag: meditation

  • Help Curb the Habit of Gossiping With A 10-Minute Practice

    Help Curb the Habit of Gossiping With A 10-Minute Practice

    Summary:

    • “Fake news” is now a common phrase, but we can understand gossip as frequently-fake news on a personal level.
    • If you want to challenge your habit of gossiping, it is helpful to cultivate awareness both of how you speak and of how you listen.
    • In this 10-minute audio meditation, you’ll practice shifting from an in-the-moment urge to gossip toward a state of appreciation and gratitude.

    We live in a political moment where we don’t just disagree about matters of policy—we disagree about reality. To some degree, this has always been the case.

    Writing in 1922, the American philosopher Walter Lippmann, described the modern human condition as one of living in “pseudo-environments”—mental worlds that define our values, beliefs, and opinions. As a result, he observed that citizens “live in the same world, but they think and feel in different ones.”

    More than 100 years later, we are experiencing this kind of polarization like never before. 24-hour cable news, Facebook, blogs, Twitter, and the fracturing of media have made it so that we can each filter our news, entertainment, and social interactions to reinforce our existing beliefs and shield ourselves from oppositional views—not to mention the fake news out there deliberately trying to separate us.

    This catchphrase has come to define the modern moment—“fake news.” Anything that doesn’t fit with our reality is now seen as unreal, make-believe, and at the same time, some of the news in our feeds is actually made up. These are crazy days.

    There is a serious conversation to be had around how to restructure the media and political institutions to mitigate this problem.

    Gossip is rarely based on fact, it’s more of an expression of the stories we make up in our heads about other people.

    In the meantime, we wanted to explore a different landscape of “fake news.” Sure, there are many people out there consciously spreading “fake news.” But it’s also interesting to look at how we might be doing it every day without really recognizing it.

    That’s right, we’re talking about gossip—our ordinary habit of talking about others behind their back. Gossip is rarely based on fact, it’s more of an expression of the stories we make up in our heads about other people.

    What is Gossip?

    The habit of gossiping can be defined in any number of ways. Webster’s defines it as “rumor or report of an intimate nature.” In the book The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, the authors define gossip as: “any statement about another that the speaker would be unwilling to share in exactly the same way if that person were in the same room.”

    This definition points to the contextual nature of gossip. If I tell my co-worker Gena that “Dave’s feedback on my presentation today was incredibly disrespectful,” it may or may not be gossip. If I don’t share this feedback with Dave, then it’s a clear case of gossip. But if I do share it with Dave, with the same emotional tone, then it is not gossip.

    Why bring greater awareness to your gossip habit? After all, it’s often entertaining, even pleasurable, to talk about the faults of celebrities, political leaders, or that person in your social circle who drives you crazy.

    The first reason is that a habit of gossiping almost always arises from stories in our mind, which may or may not be true. So one reason to refrain from gossip is to do your part to curb the spread of “fake news.”

    Another reason is that gossip often involves a subtle breach of integrity. In the language of the philosopher Immanuel Kant, when we gossip about someone, we’re treating them as a “mere means” to our own sense of pleasure or superiority. If I tell a humiliating story about someone, I’m using their misfortune as a way to generate laughter, titillate my audience, or make myself feel like I’m better than them.

    And while it may be pleasurable in the moment, it almost always leaves a moral stain. For the speaker of gossip, there’s a subtle feeling of guilt that arises. For the people listening, there’s a sense of distrust that follows in the wake of gossip. “If he talks that way about others when they’re not in the room,” they are left thinking, “how does he talk about me when I’m not in the room?”

    Need proof? Conduct a quick experiment. In your next interaction with a friend or colleague, dish out some juicy negative tidbit about a mutual colleague or acquaintance. Then check in to see how you feel. If they respond in kind, notice how you feel about their trustworthiness and the strength of your relationship.

    2 Key Ways to Shift the Habit of Gossiping

    So how can we become more aware of our gossip habit? The key is mindfulness–training the skill of Notice-Shift-Rewire each time we’re tempted to gossip or each time others begin gossiping. This awareness takes two forms: awareness of speech and awareness of listening.

    1) Awareness of Speech

    The practice here is simple. Notice when you feel the urge to say something negative about another person – a friend, a co-worker, or even a political figure. And when you notice, pay attention to the physical sensations of gossip. We have found that the urge to gossip often corresponds to an energetic state–a subtle pattern of sensations in the body.

    In fact, the urge to gossip is, in many ways, similar to the urge to read about gossip in the form of celebrity tabloids or political chatter. In both cases, we’re drawn to the momentary burst of pleasure that arises from speaking or hearing gossip. And yet it’s a behavior that is always unsatisfying, leaving us with the desire for more.

    Noticing the urge to gossip opens the space to Shift your speech. This could be as simple as not saying anything at all or reframing your statement to something you would be willing to share with the other person, were they in the room.

    The Shift might also be to follow through on the urge to gossip but to do it with awareness – to gossip consciously. This sounds strange but you may find that it’s impossible and, at times, undesirable to get rid of all gossip. In conversations with your spouse or partner, for instance, saying things about others that you wouldn’t share with them in the room might play an essential role in building trust and intimacy with your partner. Talking through a difficult situation with another family member or a problem at work, for example, may require talking candidly about others in ways that you would not were this other person in the room. In these cases, the goal might not be to end gossip but to simply be more aware and mindful of it.

    The final move is to Rewire. Savor the experience of bringing greater awareness to this ordinary habit of gossip.

    2) Awareness of Listening

    Even if we refrain from gossip, we will undoubtedly encounter it in the speech of others. Whether it’s neighbors, co-workers, or family members, the habit of gossip is so common that it’s impossible to avoid. Awareness of listening is the practice of noticing gossip whenever it arises in conversations with others.

    Of course, this leads to an important question: when we notice the person we’re talking to gossiping, what are we to do? How are we to respond?

    The authors of The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership liken this situation to a game of ping-pong: “the speaker and the listener each hold a paddle. If a listener says he doesn’t want to listen and symbolically puts down his paddle, the game is over.”

    This is sound advice. And yet it requires discernment and skillful means to figure out how to put down your paddle without shaming the other person. It might involve injecting a positive comment into the conversation, changing the subject, or, at times, making the outright request to not gossip.

    A 10-Minute Practice on Gossip Awareness

    1. To begin, find a comfortable seat. Sitting, if possible, with a straight spine. Close your eyes and begin by relaxing. Feel how the chair supports the weight of your body. Feel your feet as they rest against the support of the floor. Notice how you’re supported by each inhale and exhale. Allow yourself to breathe. Allow yourself to be. Let your breath move in and out effortlessly and without any attempt to control it. The goal of this practice is to create more awareness around the effect of gossip.
    2. With that in mind, as you relax deeply, see if you can bring to mind a moment in the past. A moment when you heard something about a friend or a coworker, another parent at school, a neighbor. Or when you dished it out to someone else. I know it’s not the most glamorous thing, but we’ve all had those moments when we had that juicy piece of gossip. So, see if you can just travel back in time to a moment like that, you can go back to childhood if nothing is coming up from adulthood.
    3. Observe any feelings or sensations that arise as you go back to that moment in time when you offered that juicy tidbit of gossip. You might notice a mixture of emotions. Excitement. Shame. Fear. Curiosity.
    4. Now, let’s imagine we had the opportunity to go back in time and experience this very same moment. With a slight twist. This time, I want you to think of a statement of gratitude for this person. Rather than a juicy piece of gossip about them, think of what you would say. If you were forced to tell someone why you appreciate this person or why you’re grateful for them.
    5. Now, imagine saying a word of appreciation instead of a piece of gossip. I appreciate Hank for always being there on time and for the intensity he brings to each conversation. I appreciate my mother-in-law, for how passionate she is about bringing us all together.
    6. Notice again, with this statement of gratitude, what are the emotions that arise in your body? See if you can pay close attention to any differences between the impact of gossip and gratitude for you in your experience. See if you can keep this experience and remain aware of the difference in your emotional state between gossip and gratitude and mind? And see if you can bring this midst of everyday life.
    7. Notice moments when you hold that juicy piece of gossip and there’s a part of you that wants to tell someone and dish it out. In those moments, see what happens when you shift to appreciation or gratitude instead
    8. To close this practice on the habit of gossiping, take a few more breaths. Bring your attention back to each inhale and exhale sensation of breath. And then when you feel ready, slowly open up your eyes. Coming back into the room. And see what happens when you bring this spirit of gratitude with you. Throughout the rest of your day.

    The 24-Hour Gossip Challenge:

    To experience this first hand, see what happens when you bring greater awareness to gossip over the next 24 hours. Pay special attention to your speech and the speech of those around you. See if you can go an entire day without the habit of gossiping.

    You may find that it’s an almost impossible task to eliminate the habit of gossiping entirely. But that’s not really the goal of this experiment. The goal is to bring awareness to the urge to gossip – to notice where you are contributing to the spread of “fake news.” This simple sense of awareness may not lead you to stop gossiping altogether. But it will help you bring greater compassion, care, and awareness into even the most ordinary conversations.

    Share your experiences in the comments below.

    This article was originally published on Mindful.org in March 2018.



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  • A Forgiveness Meditation to Connect With Your Heart

    A Forgiveness Meditation to Connect With Your Heart

    In this guided meditation, Will Schneider walks us through a three-step meditation to offer forgiveness to ourselves and others.

    Forgiveness is a cornerstone practice of mindfulness, and it’s also one of the most difficult.

    Extending forgiveness to others and to ourselves requires a kind of awareness and vulnerability that can feel deeply uncomfortable, especially if we are carrying heavy stories of shame, anger, or resentment connected to that experience.

    In today’s guided practice, Will Schneider from Men Talking Mindfulness walks us through a forgiveness meditation filled with kindness, grace, and surrender that’s designed to help us walk a little lighter in the world.

    A Forgiveness Meditation to Connect With Your Heart

    Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.

    1. As you work through this meditation, please note that we’re not trying to force forgiveness in any way. Please do this within your comfort zone. You do not need to go into the deepest and darkest places that need forgiveness. On a scale of one to 10, choose something that feels about in a four to six range. This meditation is going to be very helpful to release the energy of stress and anxiety or depression, and really help to relax your body, relax your mind, and help you to be more present in this moment, instead of encumbered with the shame and the guilt that might be associated with events that have occurred in your life.
    2. To begin, find a comfortable position. You can also do this lying down, but make sure you’re not going to fall asleep. If you choose to sit, then sit up in an upright, dignified position.
    3. There will be three parts to this forgiveness meditation. Do the best you can to work from a heart-centric, heartfelt place deep within you. Let go of expectations and try to work from a vulnerable and authentic state of being.  
    4. Start by using your breath to help just naturally drop a little bit deeper into this moment. Maybe even bring a hand over top of your heart so you can begin to access your heart energy, which really helps to empower this forgiveness. Make some movements in your shoulders and your head to help to relax tension. Find several deeper breaths just to calm your nervous system down, drop into this moment. Bring your breath, your awareness down to your breath into your belly. Inhale really big. Exhale, soft and slow. Maybe you’ve got to wiggle your jaw a little side to side, or just take these first several breath moments to just create a little bit more comfort in your body and kind of get out of your head and into your body and into this moment by being aware of your breath and being aware of the sensations of your body without judgment.
    5. Bring to mind a moment that you harmed someone else. Again, it doesn’t have to be so deeply personal. It could just be someone that you cut off in traffic or were a little curt with at the grocery store or something like that. Stay in that four to six range. In your mind’s eye, being specific, bring up this particular person that you would like to offer or ask for forgiveness. Clearly seeing that person in your mind’s eye, repeat to yourself from this heartfelt space to this other person, I am sorry. Please allow me to be imperfect. Please allow me to make mistakes. Please allow me to be a learner, still learning life’s lessons. Please forgive me. Please forgive me. If you could not forgive me now, please try to forgive me sometime in the future. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
    6. Sit with that for a couple of heartbeats, a couple breaths. Use the breath as a way to let go, detaching energetically. Feeling your heart once again.
    7. Next, let’s shift to a way in which someone has harmed you. Again, keep this in that four to six range, something minor, but that definitely was an experience. Repeat to them through this heartfelt space, Just as I am willing to allow myself to be imperfect, I allow you to be imperfect. I allow you also to make mistakes. I allow you to be a learner, still learning life’s lessons. I forgive you. I forgive you. If I cannot forgive you now, may I forgive you sometime in the future. If I cannot forgive you now, may I forgive you sometime in the future.
    8. Sit with your breath for a few moments again. Bring your hand over top of your heart and feel more of that heartfelt experience. Again, use the breath to relax and to release this energy.
    9. Finally, let’s bring forgiveness to ourselves. Think of ways you have harmed yourself. Again, start with something small. Extend forgiveness to yourself by expressing these heartfelt words to yourself: I allow myself to be imperfect. I allow myself to be imperfect. I allow myself to make mistakes. I allow myself to make mistakes. I allow myself to be a learner, still learning life’s lessons. Really feel that. I allow myself to be a learner, still learning life’s lessons. I forgive myself. I forgive myself. If I cannot forgive myself now, may I forgive myself sometime in the future. I forgive myself.
    10. Be with your breath for another few moments here, taking some bigger breaths. Filling with forgiveness, filling with love for yourself, filling with the opportunity to release and let go. Let it all go. It doesn’t need to be a part of you anymore. Take a couple more breaths in. Feel it and flow with it and fall with it. And let go.  
    11. I hope you’re feeling a little lighter after this meditation. Slowly come out on your own time. It’s a wonderful exercise to realize that you don’t need to hold on to all that stuff that gets in the way of your brilliance. All that love that you are. Thank you for meditating. Thank you for being the light that you are and bringing that light to more people in the world. Have an incredible day.



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  • How a Meditation Teacher Can Level Up Your Practice

    How a Meditation Teacher Can Level Up Your Practice

    Summary:

    • Having a qualified meditation teacher can help you learn both the mental and physical aspects of meditation, and help overcome obstacles in your practice.
    • Meditation teachers come in many forms, including in-person teachers, authors, apps, podcasts, and more.
    • Meditation teachers support us on 3 key levels: They often provide fellowship, mentorship, and leadership.
    • We recommend these 5 mindful organizations if you want to find a meditation teacher, take a mindfulness class, or consider a retreat.

    In my college days, a thousand years ago, I used to hang out in part of the library that contained a large multivolume work: Pokorny’s Indo-European Etymological Dictionary. I would idle away hours looking up the derivations of words and tracing their meanings as they wended their way through many languages and cultures. It instilled in me a spirit of looking beneath the surface of a word to find the depth and breadth that lay within.

    When I first discovered that the word “education” derives from an ancient root roughly meaning to draw out, to lead out, it lit up my mind. At that point, education had seemed mainly to be a process of having information and ideas poured into you, or wisdom bestowed on you from on high. This deeper sense of education conveyed both something being drawn out from within as well as the prospect of being led on a journey of discovery. It was a revelation, and an inspiration.

    Even if I was overthinking the etymology—we can’t really know what people thousands of years ago meant when they used a word; the great Julius Pokorny was only making educated guesses—I came to find teachers who met this deeper standard of education. They were teachers who elicited something within that was ready to be brought out. For sure, they led me to new information, but with a spirit of inquiry and examination, rather than indoctrination. Many of them taught me mindfulness.

    Patiently Planting Seeds

    When it comes to learning meditation, having teachers who guide you in this facilitative way is vitally important. Meditation lies somewhere between an intellectual pursuit and skills training of the kind that athletes, martial artists, and musicians, among others, rely on. It involves techniques that have physical aspects, and it is indeed a bit like building up a muscle—at first the “attention muscle”—so some coaching and coaxing are integral aspects of real teaching.

    Nowadays a lot of resources are readily available to get us started and help us along the way. Instructions for how to practice mindfulness and related practices abound—in books, magazines, apps, podcasts, and in video and audio form. The practice itself, as any number of teachers have said, couldn’t be simpler. In fact, it seems too simple. “That’s it? That’s all there is to it?” (One of the reasons it’s nice to have teachers around is to help us navigate that paradox.)

    If you think you need a teacher, chances are you already have one—or many, for that matter.

    In addition, authors regularly offer insightful commentary on the sorts of things that occur when one practices meditation. If you can afford it (or get financial aid), you can go to conferences and meditation programs to learn more and deepen your practice. Some of these ways of getting instruction can feel pretty intimate: Listening to a teacher on an app or podcast can make you feel as if you’re being spoken to directly, and in videos teachers can instruct with a lot of gesture and expression. When you’re reading, you can return again and again to a passage that speaks to you especially.

    All of these supports actually are a form of having a teacher, or many teachers. So, if you think you need a teacher, chances are you already have one—or many, for that matter. It’s helpful to have some gratitude for that fact. Countless people in the world do not have the leisure or opportunity to access a wealth of meditation teachings.

    Patience also pays off. Desperately rushing to find “the teacher” who solves it all results mostly in frustration. As Jessica Morey, cofounder and lead teacher at Inward Bound Mindfulness Education, says, “Meditation practice can lead you to become striving-oriented, obsessed with trying to get somewhere, to gain experiences.” Being a gardener, patiently planting seeds and allowing nature to take its course, rewards better than being a driver speeding to get to an appointment.

    Eventually, however, no matter how patient we are, obstacles and challenges arise that ruffle our feathers. Mindfulness, awareness, kindness, and compassion practices do not simply work in a linear fashion: x amount of time and effort yields y results. They involve ongoing exploration of how we see ourselves, the world around us, and our relationships. They challenge preconceived views and fixations. They turn us toward life’s ups and downs, rather than away from them. They take us to difficult places.

    Supporting Each Other

    This is where support from someone outside yourself who can hear you and what’s going on in your mind—not a generic mind—can make a difference. This is where a teacher can provide true education: drawing out what’s inside us and leading us on a journey, not a journey that is prepackaged in a book or on an app, but a journey we cocreate. It’s not a paved road. It’s a trail that we must blaze—with help.

    As longtime meditation teacher and author of You Belong: A Call for Connection, Sebene Selassie, says, while some people are “natural self-teachers, most of us benefit from guidance and instruction… We’re not practicing to become super-meditators. We’re practicing to gain some insight and wisdom. So, I’ve found it’s definitely helpful to have some insightful and wise people around.”

    Such wise and insightful people come in various forms. They can simply be fellow practitioners with whom we have common cause and a developing bond of trust. They may be in a local group (formal or informal) or online, perhaps supported by an occasional gathering at a group program or retreat.

    Finding human beings to support our practice, either as fellow travelers or teachers, may not be an easy prospect. It depends to a certain degree on the availability of teachers and practitioners who are compatible with the kind of path you would like to follow. For most of the history of meditation practice, it has been transmitted largely through religious organizations. The methods of teaching and supporting practitioners varied from tradition to tradition, but they have included everything from simple fellowship to intense forms of followership, with students taking very explicit directions from teachers in the form of commands, supported by vows on the part of students. As these religious traditions undergo many changes in the modern era, non-religious ways of teaching and practicing mindfulness and related practices have broken through. The expansion of these forms of practice is the reason that Mindful and mindful.org were founded.

    Secular forms of practice have been happening explicitly for about 40 years, so while there are a fair number of teachers, this movement has not developed to the point that there are many secular places to go on retreat with an optimal ratio of teachers at varying levels of ability to students, which would allow for widespread, ongoing individual attention. The supply of teachers is growing, but nowhere near as fast as the number of people interested in taking up meditation. And someone doesn’t become a teacher overnight. Think of wine—it can take decades for a vintage to become finely aged, and not every wine is up to the task. Still, many are very drinkable on the way to becoming fine. Teachers are like that—mastery may be decades off, but many have wisdom and insights to share even at early stages.

    Support from someone outside yourself who can hear you and what’s going on in your mind—not a generic mind—can make a difference. This is where a teacher can provide true education: drawing out what’s inside us and leading us on a journey.

    As many teachers have noted, people often come to a weekend program, go on a retreat, or take a mindfulness-based course such as MBSR, and then drift away, without finding the ongoing support—and human interaction—they need to truly integrate mindfulness into their lives. Mark Leonard of Mindfulness Connected, who played a key role in establishing the Oxford Mindfulness Centre, believes that the lack of ongoing connection with others, in favor of a kind of private mindfulness, cuts us off from more profound effects at both the personal and societal level. Presenting at the 2020 Mindful Society conference, he emphasized that “well-being is a social function, it’s not a psychological process.”

    I look at the guidance we receive from others on the path of meditation as coming at three different levels, with each a bit more intimate and intensified, and placing more trust in the teacher: fellowship, mentorship, leadership. The lines between them are not hard and fast, and one is not better than another. They work together.

    3 Levels of Mindful Guidance

    1. Fellowship

    As I mentioned above, we already have a teacher—in fact, many teachers—in the form of resources full of instruction and insightful guidance available via so many channels. But one of the principal elements we need is something that keeps us coming back to meditation regularly, and in this case, fellow meditators can make a great difference. As we get trapped in old habit patterns or fall into ruts, lose our inspiration to keep going, or start to feel we’re the only one who has difficulties, connection with meditating friends—in person, online, or both—can make all the difference.

    It’s not that we’re all leaning on each other so that we’ll all fall down together. Rather, we help each other stand on our own two feet, as it were. We may do retreats together or find ways to integrate practice in other areas of life, such as starting a mindfulness program in a local school or hospital. There is great power in learning together.

    Tara Healey, program director for mindfulness-based learning at Harvard Pilgrim Health Care, is a strong believer in the efficacy of ongoing small doses of support, because as she says, “Mindfulness is self-correcting. As we go off course, it will guide us, as will our fellow meditators and friends. The ability to appreciate the quiet and listen to how you’re being guided gets clearer and clearer the more you practice. The practice itself serves you the life lessons you need.”

    Fellowship, being in community with others, becomes an important foundation for going forward on the path of meditation, because it gradually encourages us to think less of mindfulness as a personal pursuit and more as collective pursuit, the social well-being that Mark Leonard talks about.

    Caverly Morgan, who founded Peace in Schools in Portland, Oregon, and established the groundbreaking for-credit Mindful Studies course in the high schools there, is committed to encouraging students to find how the personal expands into a greater whole, how mutual awareness leads to mutual understanding:

    In the same way a teen experiences a sense of empowerment by discovering that she, he, or they can direct their attention to the moment versus a conditioned internal story, we have the capacity to do so collectively. The result: collective empowerment. When we are practiced at seeing where and how our attention moves personally, internally, in the privacy of our own minds, it becomes easy to see how our attention moves and is directed collectively. In our communities. In our culture. In our world.

    2. Mentorship

    At the level of mentorship, there is much more personal give-and-take with a teacher. It may also occur in a group, but is also often enhanced by one-on-one time. Many of us have experienced an inspiring talk by a teacher, perhaps to a crowd of hundreds or even thousands—what some people call “the sage on the stage.” That’s OK for getting an inspirational boost, but a mentor comes down off the stage and sits down with you at eye level, for extended periods.

    The way that meditation mentors lead people is probably best described as facilitation. It can happen at an individual level, but quite often it occurs in small group programs, such as MBSR or MBCT or any meditation class, really, where personal instruction and group work combine. Facilitating is the act of making it possible for students to find their way. While in fellowship, there is a danger of incestuousness and group think, mentors can cut through that, since part of their role is to draw our habit patterns out into the light, to be examined with care in a safe space.

    The skillful means that effective mentors use to facilitate learning are too many to enumerate. They’re inexhaustible, in fact, since they often emerge creatively in the moment, so the marks of effective mentorship are often spontaneity, humor, and a sense of play. While mindfulness involves work, a good mentor conveys that it is definitely not drudgery.

    While the skillful methods are endless, two examples—inquiry and stewardship—may help to convey what these kinds of skills are about.

    Patricia Rockman, MD—senior director of education and clinical services at the Centre for Mindfulness Studies in Toronto, and co-author of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy: Embodied Presence and Inquiry in Practice—is one of the foremost articulators of the power of inquiry, which she describes as “an interactive process, a reflective process, on an experience that has just occurred.” She goes on to say that “what we’re trying to do… is enhance people’s ability to be with their direct experience versus what we normally do, which is to immediately have interpretations, ideas, conclusions, judgments about our experience.” In addition, she says that inquiry enhances people’s “capacity to reflect on the unfolding nature of experience and learn to track that experience without running off into storytelling or narrative or other ideas and conclusions.”

    Rockman also points out that encouraging people to inquire about what’s happening moment to moment in their minds helps them “develop a language of experience, a vocabulary of experience—whether that’s describing their sensations, being able to describe their thoughts versus analyzing them, being able to name emotions in an attempt to manage them better and make them less overwhelming, and to begin to see how the body is a source of information” and the place where the sensory correlates of emotion (such as a tightening chest, when we are anxious) reside.

    The marks of effective mentorship are often spontaneity, humor, and a sense of play. While mindfulness involves work, a good mentor conveys that it is definitely not drudgery.

    Don McCown, co-author of Teaching Mindfulness: A Practical Guide for Clinicians and Educators, has written extensively about the process of teaching mindfulness, particularly in small groups. In a chapter in Resources for Teaching Mindfulness: An International Handbook, he talks about how, in his view, the primary skill of a mindfulness teacher mentoring small groups is to be a steward who tends to the atmosphere of the class.

    While McCown acknowledges the atmosphere in a room may seem like a vague notion, still, he says, “We all walk into the room and know, through body sensation and affect, that the atmosphere is tense, or friendly, or calm, or maybe a little sad.” In fact, he goes on to say that “a group can agree on, and even engage in dialogue about, what it is like in the room at a particular moment.”

    A skilled teacher of mindfulness-based programs is the steward of this quality of atmosphere, “tracking the unfolding of a class session moment by moment,” paying mindful attention to something that is “evident not only to teachers but also to participants, making it a valuable and valid measure for the relational state of the group.” In this way, the quality of a mindfulness group is something the teacher and the group give rise to together.

    In stewardship, McCown points out, the teacher uses all the care at their disposal to pay attention to the setting, how people relate to each other, the interplay between silence and talking, maintaining ethical behavior, and a number of other elements. In this way, he says, “Atmosphere not only teaches participants, it teaches the teacher.”

    3. Leadership

    The ultimate—and the most intimate—level of teaching is when the teacher transmits, rather than simply teaches. Transmitting is embodying and sharing, most often by example, whatever understanding a teacher has. It’s not a highfalutin idea. In fact, quite the opposite. We see transmission happening in the most mundane of places. In describing a French baker he studied with, Bill Buford wrote in the New Yorker recently:

    For Bob, farms were the “heart of Frenchness.” His grandfather had been a farmer. Every one of the friends he would eventually introduce me to were also the grandchildren of farmers. They felt connected to the rhythm of plows and seasons, and were beneficiaries of a knowledge that had been in their families for generations. When Bob described it, he used the word transmettre, with its sense of “to hand over”—something passed between eras.

    A teacher committed to transmission cares little about their own stature as a teacher. Like the master baker, they care only about the results, the quality of the bread. They long to see students bake bread even better than they could bake. They don’t seek acolytes, a kind of permanent one-upmanship. They seek colleagues. They wish not merely to teach students but to learn together with them.

    In so doing, like a good martial arts master, they will challenge the student to find the way by themselves. They also pay close attention to what’s going on with you, always alert to teachable moments, to turning points and possibilities for opening. It’s like the Deacon says in Season 4 of the HBO series The Wire: “A good church man is always up in everybody’s shit. It’s how we do.”

    Their main tool is rarely the simple answer and more often the hanging question. Steve Hickman, executive director of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion and a longtime mindfulness teacher, spoke with me recently about how the most powerful teaching involves highly attentive listening and probing: “Students benefit the most not from simply having their questions answered,” he said, “but from seeing the example of your ongoing warmth, curiosity, and attention, as you listen and inquire, so they find handholds and pathways of their own. Then, they are empowered, not just taught.”

    The mark of the teacher’s work succeeding is that the world itself and your circumstances become the teacher. When you have a setback, such as a financial loss or the death of a friend, there may be less discursive mental drama surrounding the event. It becomes more a message to you of how to let go further of the story of what you have to have, to find more simplicity. If in the midst of being isolated in a pandemic, your partner tells you, “I wish you would clean up more after yourself,” you may skip the steps of resisting or beating up on yourself, and simply see the opportunity for attention and mindfulness and kindness to reach into more areas of your life.

    You yourself may begin to become a teacher, even simply because of your example. You may become a great source of fellowship to others, and even a mentor and leader. Your interactions with your teachers, your friends, even strangers—the grocery clerk or a fellow passenger on the subway—and yes, those you fiercely oppose, have a tendency to draw you out of your shell of self-cherishing. You are more vulnerable and yet more resilient and confident. Every day brings discoveries, as if you’ve baked a fresh loaf of aromatic bread to share with the world. These messages from the outside are really messages from the inside, what you’ve internalized from your teachers, your friends, and your experiences. The inherent brilliance of your natural state of being is drawn out.

    That is real education.

    Where to Find a Meditation Teacher

    ACCESS MBCT is an international listing of mental health professionals who are committed to excellence in the delivery, training, and dissemination of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy.

    The International Mindfulness Teachers Association is a certification and accrediting body and membership organization that includes a member directory of Certified Mindfulness Teachers and Accredited Mindfulness Teacher Training Programs.

    Mindful Directory Ltd—a collaboration with mindful.org—is a platform where mindfulness teachers and other professionals register their credentials and list their events.

    The Mindfulness Center at Brown University maintains a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Teacher Recognition List, which includes teachers who have provided appropriate documentation of their teaching credentials.

    Mindful Leader offers an MBSR Certified Teacher Directory provided to the organization by the University of Massachusetts Medical School, which has verified the credentials of the teachers listed.

    Your Guide to Finding the Best Mindfulness Teacher 

    The next step toward deepening your mindfulness practice may be finding a teacher that can offer you new insights. In our easy-to-use guide, we’ve outlined what to look for in a mindfulness teacher, and how to find the right one for you.
    Read More 

    • Mindful Staff
    • September 21, 2020

    How Mindfulness Teachers Can Build Brave Space 

    Mindful self-compassion teacher Steve Hickman offers advice for his fellow teachers to lovingly acknowledge the turbulence of their own hearts, and those of their students, during times where compassionate presence and action are needed more than ever.
    Read More 

    • Steven Hickman
    • July 8, 2020



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  • A Meditation for Finding a Middle Way When We Are In Pain

    A Meditation for Finding a Middle Way When We Are In Pain

    In this guided meditation, longtime meditation teacher and pain expert Vidyamala Burch offers a tender practice to help us be with our whole selves with openness and kindness, even when we are experiencing pain.

    Being in pain makes being present extra challenging.

    On a physical level, being in the present moment while our body is in pain is often extremely unpleasant. There is a part of us, understandably, that wishes we could escape from it entirely.

    At the same time, the experience of pain itself can be overwhelming—to our senses, our thoughts, our emotions. It can feel like drowning, when what we long for is just a moment of peace to rest in.

    In today’s guided meditation, longtime meditation teacher and pain expert Vidyamala Burch offers a tender practice to find a middle way—one that doesn’t veer into denial or give in to overwhelm, but rather allows all that is happening to be gently met, as Vidyamala says, with “wholeness, integration, and kindliness.”

    A Meditation for Finding a Middle Way When We Are In Pain

    Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.

    1. Start by establishing a meditation posture. You can do it sitting; you can do it lying down. The main thing is to choose a position where you can be as relaxed as possible and yet alert. Once you’ve chosen your position, begin to settle. Allow the weight of the body to rest down into the support beneath you. If you’re sitting, it’ll be through the bottom, into the chair, through the feet, into the floor. For lying down, it’ll be through the back of the body, into the bed or the floor, and then the head resting into the pillow or cushion. 
    2. See if you can cultivate a sense of rest, allowing the body to be held. Let go of gripping. Receive the support of whatever’s beneath you. To help this, you could take a few deep breaths and then on each outbreath release a little bit more, letting the next in-breath flow back in in its own time. 
    3. With each in-breath, breathe in freshness and vitality. With each out-breath, let go of gripping. When you’re ready, allow your breathing to find its own natural rhythm. Allow your awareness to pour out of the head, where it so often seems to be located, and feel the body resting inside the movements and sensations of breathing.  
    4. Allow your awareness to fill in the body a little bit more. Let it pour down through the torso, through the hips, feet, and legs. We’re not looking in from the outside or thinking about the legs and the feet as a concept or an object. Rather, we’re resting inside sensations of contact with the floor, with the chair, or the bed. Maybe there’s a sense of tingling, buzzing energy. Maybe there’s dullness or numbness. Whatever our experience is, allowing awareness to fill the feet and the legs. If there’s pain or discomfort, see if we can meet this with an attitude of kindliness and care, softening automatic habits of resistance and tension. Allow awareness to come to the buttocks, letting the buttocks be soft, resting into the chair, into the bed.   
    5. Allow awareness to fill the whole torso—including the belly, the chest, the front and the whole back of the body and the back, the whole spine. Have a sense of the torso opening a little bit in all directions on the in-breath and subsiding on the outbreath. Be careful not to force or strain. Receive on an in-breath, letting go on the outbreath. Again, if you’ve got pain or discomfort anywhere in the back or the front of the whole torso, see if you can allow it into awareness with an attitude of care and kindliness. Let it be part of our experience, softening the resistance and the automatic tension that can so quickly arise. 
    6. Now bring awareness to the shoulders, arms, and hands. Let your hands be supported, resting on the legs or in the lap if sitting. Rest them at the sides of the body, palm upwards (if lying down) or on the legs, palm downwards (if sitting). Let go of gripping in the arms with tension, just letting them rest into gravity. Let the shoulders fall away from the midline of the body into gravity. Allow shoulders, arms, and hands to be full of awareness. This might show up as discomfort, tingling, heat. It could be sensing the contact with clothes, contact with the surface the hands are resting on. Receive all this into awareness with kindliness. 
    7. Now come up through the arms and up to the neck and the head. If you’re sitting, let the head be poised on the top of the spine, maybe tucking the chin in just a tiny bit, so there’s a release through the base of the skull and yet openness in the throat. If you’re lying down, see if you can let the weight of the head be fully held by the pillow or the cushion. Let go of holding on, gripping in the head, letting it rest. Let the jaw be soft, the lips and tongue be soft so the wind of the breath can flow freely through the back of the throat on the way into the body and then back out again on the way out of the body. Let the cheeks be soft, eyes soft, forehead soft. We could imagine the brain resting inside the head softly. 
    8. See if you can feel into the physicality of the head. So often the head can feel split off from the body. The head is just a thought factory, and then the body’s just this kind of thing that we drag through life. But the head is a limb of the body, just like the arms and the legs. Sense the feelings, the sensations in the head. Temperature, tingling, buzzing, softness, maybe even contact with the air brushing against the skin.  
    9. See if you can have a sense of wholeness in the legs, torso, arms, neck, and face. This experience of embodiment, moment by moment by moment, the flow of sensations in the whole body arising and passing, arising and passing.  
    10. If you’ve got pain or discomfort right now, let’s attend to that part of the body. Take your awareness to that part of the body and notice if it’s surrounded by resistance or hardness. Let’s see if we can find this sweet spot between denial on the one hand and overwhelm on the other. Denial will be a kind of turning away, a hardening and not wanting, a pushing away. Maybe there’s a little bit of breath holding. Maybe there’s tension in the head, tension in the bottom. If you notice that, then see if you can turn a little bit more towards the experience, metaphorically speaking, adding it into awareness a little bit more, very gently and tenderly, breath by breath. Let it be part of this flow of experience in the whole body. Breathe into that area and imagine that the breath is bathed in kindliness.  
    11. If, on the other hand, you’re feeling overwhelmed, the only thing in experience is the pain or the difficulty. The practice here is to broaden. Feel the bottom on the chair or the bed. Feel the support beneath us. Feel breath in the whole body. Feel the whole range of sensations in the whole body. The pain is just one aspect of this multifaceted experience of being alive right now. If you notice yourself hardening up again, tensing, turning away, suppressing, denying, blocking—use awareness to interrupt that process and soften. Relax the palms. Relax the hands. Come closer. Breathe kindly. 
    12. This is a training in wholeness, integration, and kindliness. We’re able to be with all of our experience with presence and kindliness. If we have a wound, we broaden. If we’re blocking off, we come closer. That is the practice. Our awareness is dynamic, subtle, receptive, fluid. 
    13. You can keep on practicing if you’d like to, but I’ll bring this guided meditation to a close. Let’s bring the weight of the body to the foreground of awareness, feeling, resting into the support beneath us. Feel breathing in the whole body. Broaden awareness to be aware of sounds around your environment. Open the eyes if they’ve been closed. Bring a tiny bit of movement into the body, maybe the fingers and the toes or some other part of the body. Notice any tendency to immediately halt the breath and immediately start pushing and rushing. Stay inside this subtle movement with a soft brow. And when you’re ready, come into bigger movement. In your own time, reengage with the activities of the day.



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  • A Meditation for Creating an Anchor of Inner Strength

    A Meditation for Creating an Anchor of Inner Strength

    In this guided practice, we focus on qualities of inner strength that we can return to in times of uncertainty.

    What does it feel like to experience ourselves—in our own minds and bodies—as a reliable place we can come home to in order to feel grateful, calm, and resilient?

    In this week’s guided meditation, Melli O’Brien walks us through a practice we can return to in times of uncertainty or challenge to remind us of our own inner strength.

    A Meditation for Creating an Anchor of Inner Strength

    Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.

    1. Start by finding your way into a comfortable position. Sit in a comfortable way, with the spine more upright rather than slouching. When you’re ready, gently close the eyes, if that’s comfortable for you. Otherwise, you can just have them downcast with a soft gaze. When you’re ready, take three deep, slow, full breaths.  
    2. As you exhale, allow your physical body to soften. Relax a little, feeling the softening through the jaw, shoulders, belly, and hands. Again, another breath in, and out. Let go of anything that’s on the mind. To-do lists, worries, ruminations—allow yourself to arrive right here, right now, in this time, this place, this moment. 
    3. As you let the breath settle back into its own natural rhythm, continue to feel the flow of sensations of that breath moving in your body. Breathe naturally, feeling the sensations of the breath as it enters the body and leaves the body. Rest awareness on the feeling and the flow of the natural breath, allowing the breath to anchor you in the present moment. 
    4. Now bring to mind a feeling of gratitude. What does gratitude feel like in your body? You might like to take a moment to dwell on thoughts of what you’re grateful for. The food in the cupboards or water from the taps. The fact that you are safe right now and that you have this time to take care of your mental well-being. Maybe you’re  thinking about the acts of kindness you’ve received in your life, from the smile of a stranger to bigger gestures of support. Maybe you’re remembering the people who’ve loved you, supported you, forgiven you, encouraged you. What else can you be grateful for? Maybe the miracle that you’re alive at all. 
    5. Allow these feelings of gratitude flood through every fiber of your being, filling you up like golden light. That feeling of inner strength, when you notice that you have enough, that you’re supported by life, a feeling of relaxing and feeling abundant—intensify that feeling. What does it feel like in your body? How do you breathe? How do you hold yourself when you feel grateful? Bathe in that feeling. Feel the goodness of it, the strength of it. What do you say to yourself when you feel grateful? 
    6. Now squeeze your right fist gently as you feel that feeling of gratitude. Make an intention right now that you’re taking this gratitude forward with you in your life, maybe mentally saying to yourself, Thank you, this gratitude is with me now
    7. Now bring to mind the feeling of calm. Maybe you can remember times when you felt calm. Like when you were standing at the ocean’s edge watching a sunset or sunrise. Or you can just conjure up this feeling, maybe imagining a calm scene. Let  calm wash through you. Let it come alive in you. What does calm feel like? Let it move through you, soothe you, and ground you. Bring the feeling of calm to mind when you feel fully at ease, when you can be totally yourself. You’re safe, comfortable, and relaxed. Notice how you feel when you’re calm. How do you breathe? How do you hold your body? Feel the peace, the serenity, and the ease. Bathe in that feeling. 
    8. Feel the goodness of calm, the strength of it, and then gently squeeze your right fist as you feel that feeling. Mentally say to yourself, This calm is with me now. Making an intention to take the calm forward in your life. 
    9. Now bring to mind a feeling of grit. What does it feel like when you have grit? You know that inner strength when you know you could never be stuck because you always find the way forward. You always find the way through. You’re not stuck in problems, you’re thinking about solutions and creative ways forward. You’re resourceful, determined, and even playful when it comes to facing difficulty and challenges. What would grit feel like? Imagine it, remember it, let it fill your body and flow through you. How do you breathe when you have grit? How do you move? When you’re empowered, you’re focused on where you’re going, and what matters deep in your heart, your purpose, your truth, nothing’s going to stand in your way. Intensify the feeling, that feeling of grit.
    10. Feel the goodness of it, the strength of it. Squeeze your right fist as you’re feeling that feeling and make an intention that you’re now taking grit forward with you in your life, mentally saying to yourself, Thank you, this grit is with me now. Feel it become a part of you. 
    11. Now bring to mind the feeling of love. Maybe you’re remembering times when you opened your heart, when you gave love freely, when you gave someone the benefit of the doubt. Or a time when you forgave, showed compassion, kindness. Imagine or remember love: what it’s like to feel love, embody love, give love. Connect with it now and let it wash through your body and your being. Maybe even place your hands on your heart. What does love feel like in your body? Bathe in that feeling—the goodness of it, the strength of it, letting love wash through every fiber of your being, every cell of your body. 
    12. As you feel that love, gently squeeze your right fist. Mentally say to yourself, This love is with me now. Feel it become a part of you. 
    13. Now bring to mind another quality that you want to develop. Take a moment to remember what that feeling, what that quality feels like. Connect with it, remember it, conjure it up, and let it wash through you. Let it come alive in you now. What does it feel like in your body, in your mind, in your heart? See if you can intensify that feeling as if it was filling all the cells of your body, flowing through every inch of skin and bone and being within you. How do you breathe when you feel that feeling? What do you say to yourself? How do you hold your body? 
    14. Bathe in that feeling. Feel the goodness of it, the strength of it. And then squeeze your right fist as you feel that inner strength and make an intention that you’re taking this quality with you forward from this day in your life. Mentally saying to yourself, Well, this quality is with me now. Feel it become a part of you. 
    15. Now you can drop awareness back into your breathing. Just breathe naturally. Ride the waves of the breaths as the body breathes in and as the body breathes out, just feeling strong. As you breathe out, wriggle the fingers and the toes, and notice how you’re feeling after taking this time out for meditation. When you’re ready, open your eyes. 



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  • Dual Anchor: A Neurodiversity-Informed Meditation for Wandering Attention

    Dual Anchor: A Neurodiversity-Informed Meditation for Wandering Attention

    In this guided practice, Sue Hutton offers an approach to meditation that marshalls sensory awareness as a way to sharpen focus.

    Traditional meditation practices can sometimes be frustrating and alienating for those who are neurodivergent. Bodily discomfort or intense mental restlessness can make even the most mindfulness-curious person feel like classic meditation techniques might not be for them.

    Sue Hutton believes that mindfulness can be for anyone, and she’s dedicated her work to making mindfulness practices like meditation accessible for neurodiverse communities. In this practice, she guides us through what she calls “Dual Anchor,” a kind of meditation that engages the senses to help gently steer attention. 

    Dual Anchor: A Neurodiversity-Informed Meditation for Wandering Attention

    1. This is a neurodiversity informed, guided meditation called Dual Anchor. It can be really useful to help bring a mind that wanders excessively and struggles to pay attention, to concentrate on two anchors at the same time with our senses. This practice utilizes our vision and our breath together at the same time. 
    2. Many of us carry a lot of overwhelm inside the body, so we don’t want to exacerbate that when we do our meditation practice. We come to this path seeking to cultivate calm stillness inside. I encourage you to bring a spirit of compassion to everything that you do in your meditation path, along with a sense of gentle curiosity. Try the practice best you can, but don’t push herself if anything is overwhelming or bringing up any kind of sensory overwhelm. 
    3. Let’s start off with concentrating using your vision on an object in front of you. A candle can be a very useful object to focus on the tip of the flame. But any object will do, allowing your posture to be upright and observing something in front of you with all of your attention visually. 
    4. Feel yourself concentrating on the center of that object. Notice the body softening as you concentrate on vision. The same way a film director zooms in, focus very clearly on an object. Allow your mind to sharpen, letting everything else fall to the background, holding full command of your gaze on this object. 
    5. Soften the brow, soften the jaw. Allow the body to be soft as you engage in observing this object very, very closely. Can you get a sense of the color, the texture, the shape? Just observe. Your vision is very focused. 
    6. Now let’s include awareness of the breath. Begin with closing your eyes just for a moment while you tune into the breath. As you close the eyes, just allow them to soften as though the eyelids just rest on the eyeballs, like gentle blankets, giving you a calm, quiet space inside. 
    7. Now, feel the breath in the way that works for you. You can observe the breath through sound, breathing in so loud that you can hear the sound of your breath like an ocean tide flowing in and out, observing the sound of the breathing, with full awareness of the sound on the inhale and exhale. You can also try experiencing the breath by just observing the gentle flow in and out of the body in a way that works for you. You can have your hand resting on the belly and the chest and just feel the sensations wherever it’s comfortable, either on this surface, feeling the hand’s rising and falling with the breath, or from inside the body. If it’s comfortable for you, you can try to feel where inside the body you notice that mechanism of breathing in and breathing out. 
    8. All the while, we’re bringing a sense of deep compassion and love for ourselves as we do this. You may even feel some warmth of compassion flowing into your body through your hands. So there’s a loving touch, compassion for ourselves as we breathe in and out. Remember, every outbreath is an opportunity to give yourself permission to relax and soften. This is a space for you to cultivate and calm within. 
    9. Now open your eyes once again and focus on that object, and let’s combine vision and breath. Focus deeply, all your concentration visually on this object: sharp concentration, unwavering, steady focus. Soften the brow and jaw. 
    10. Now, combine the rhythm of the breath in the way that works for you. Allow yourself to feel yourself right at the center of this deep concentration, sharp, focused vision and unwavering connection with the experience of the breath, vision and breath. Allow there to be a soft calm inside the body. 
    11. As you experience this compassionate rhythm of the breath, using this focused alertness with your vision. And allow the next exhalation to be one that lets go even more. What else can you relax and release on the next breath? 
    12. There is a clarity as we concentrate on these two objects at the same time. See for the next few moments if you can go even a little bit more committed to being in the center, staying focused on the breath and your vision, full concentration, and allow there to be even more softening and letting go of the whole body from the top of the head all the way down to the toes, releasing and relaxing, sharpening that concentration, vision, and breath. 
    13. You can now allow the eyes to close as you stay connected with the breath. Again, just resting like soft blankets over the eyes. Feel that letting go and softening of the whole face. You may observe it’s not pitch black under the closed eyelids, but there may be some shape, some light, amorphous, moving, perhaps softening you even more and observing what you can witness underneath these closed eyelids in this calm, relaxed space, feeling that compassionate rhythm of the breath. 
    14. If it’s comfortable, allow your eyes to gently open. Let the eyes just look around the room at different objects, observing how you can engage in vision as a grounding tool. Look at another random object and focus on that, observing the texture, the quality, the color. You can name the object, too—just one word, not description. 
    15. This is our dual anchor meditation practice for today using vision and breath. You can use that practice any time of the day. There are more practices like this on my website at SueHuttonMindfulness.com. Please come and visit. Explore other ways of engaging in neurodiversity and mindfulness. May you continue to find incredible ways of bringing mindfulness to your life in the unique ways that you can benefit from the most. Thank you for meditating with me.



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  • A Meditation for Allowing the Possibility of Possible In Deep Grief

    A Meditation for Allowing the Possibility of Possible In Deep Grief

    In this guided practice, Brenda K. Mitchell offers an invitation to anyone who might be struggling to see a way forward through grief.

    When we are adrift in the wide sea of grief, it can be difficult to imagine any world other than the world of our intense sorrow and loss. Things like going back to our normal daily tasks, or having fun again, or being able to think of our loved one without crying—these can seem so far out of reach that they might as well be impossible.

    In this guided meditation, Brenda Mitchell offers one tiny heart-opening invitation: simply allowing what she calls “the possibility of possible.” There isn’t an expectation that you have answers, or lots of hope, or a clear path forward. Rather, this is a tender way to be with the many difficult emotions that accompany losses in our lives, while opening the door just a bit to what might lie ahead.

    Discovering the Possibility of Possible In Deep Grief

    1. Let’s begin by closing our eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Inhale. One, two, three. And exhale. One, two, and three. 
    2. If you’d like, place one hand over the other on your heart. Remove everything that you may have brought in here with you—the tension and the anxieties that may be present in the moment, in the room, or in your neck. See if you can open up and loosen everything that you may have brought with you. Let’s breathe one more time. 
    3. Now, do a quick body scan and allow for more movement within the structures and the internal parts of our body. Let’s get comfortable—like a couch potato, like Netflix comfortable. Feel that release down into the neck as we open up to receive enlightenment and the divinity of nature and the wonderfulness that is our very own body system. 
    4. Let that comfort flow down through your shoulders and down through your hands. Shake your hands just a little bit to know that you’re in control and you’re operating and let that flow go through the center region of your body. Blowing up and down through your hips, your thighs, your legs. Allow your feet to feel planted on the solid ground beneath you today.  
    5. If you are facing deep grief in this moment, I invite you to make room for those feelings. You might notice that sometimes in our fragility, brokenness, and disappointments, we stop imagining that anything good can ever be possible again. There is a block there, a hopelessness. We can’t see a way forward at all. 
    6. For this moment, I invite you to embrace the possibility of possible. That’s it. You don’t have to have answers, or lots of hope, or a clear path forward. This is just about opening the door and allowing the possibility of possible. 
    7. See if you can gently settle onto a vision of yourself embracing possibility. What does that look like for you? Where are you? Are you indoors? Are you out? Is there anyone with you? Do you see the colors and the possibility of the dreams that we dream that can go dormant in grief? Maybe you can feel the warmth and the beauty of the sky. What does it mean for you to accept the hurt and pains of what was, while also moving toward the possibility of possible? 
    8. I invite you to open your eyes as you are ready, and return back to my voice. There’s a poem that I’d like to share with you that has allowed me to imagine a  future version of myself who could open up to what is and embrace the possibility of possible. It is written by Gilda Radner and it states, I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. It’s called Delicious Ambiguity. Thank you for your practice. 



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  • A Meditation for Unconditional Love When You’re Struggling

    A Meditation for Unconditional Love When You’re Struggling

    In this guided meditation, Caverly Morgan invites us to move beyond “positive thinking” in difficult moments and instead tap into a deep well of unconditional love for ourselves

    When we’re wrestling with experiences that challenge our identities or our confidence—like failures at work, relationship struggles, or letting go of old belief systems—it can be tempting to reach for positive self-talk that pushes back against the difficult feelings we might be having.

    In today’s guided practice, Caverly Morgan offers something much sturdier, what she calls unconditional reassurances.

    In this practice, we’re not just saying the opposite of what we’re feeling, hoping that it will be true. Rather, it’s about anchoring into a deep-down sense of worthiness and compassion that’s always present, regardless of how well things are going for us or how great we feel about ourselves in any given moment. It’s the difference between saying, Don’t feel bad! You’re the best! and saying, Whether you succeed or you don’t, I love you no matter what.  

    A Meditation for Unconditional Love When You’re Struggling

    Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.

    1. I invite you to begin this meditation with three of the longest and deepest inhalations and exhalations you’ve taken yet today. So often we take the breath for granted. Give yourself permission right now to simply enjoy breathing
    2. Picture a moment in your life in which you are struggling. If the scale is one to ten, ten being the greatest struggle you’ve ever known, pick something in the middle. Think of some time, perhaps in your recent past, when you were resisting what is, or seeking a different experience. 
    3. Notice what you were saying to yourself as you were struggling. Or to be even more accurate, what “the judge” was asserting, maybe commanding. Maybe for you there wasn’t any negative self-talk present, or perhaps the voice of the inner critic wasn’t alive in that moment. But for most of us, in moments of struggle the judge is somewhere on the scene. For this contemplation, see if you can get a sense of what’s being said. 
    4. Now see yourself as the one who’s listening to the judge. Really play with this in your imagination. Maybe you even see a young part of you that’s taking this message in. You might even let yourself feel, consciously identifying with this young part of you feeling what they feel. 
    5. From this space, ask, What do I need to hear? What do I need to know? If it’s not this, what is it? 
    6. Now in this struggle, take on the feeling as though you’re drowning, flailing your limbs around. See someone sitting on a dock nearby. Someone that really loves you, knows you, sees you. It might not be a real person in your life. It might be a kind stranger that is walking by the lake and doesn’t want to see you drown. See this person? With a bright, shiny, brand new life preserver in their hand, see them tossing it to you as your arms flail. Let yourself grab on to it. 
    7. If there were messages inscribed on this life preserver, what would the messages be? Perhaps it’s really simple. Like, I’m here. You don’t need to flail around any longer. You can hang on to me. I’ve got you. What phrases light up for you? What sentiments? Touch that unmet need. There’s no right or wrong here. 
    8. What is important is that the sentiments are unconditional. If they were to come in the form of phrases, they’re phrases that have no opposite. For example, they wouldn’t be something like, You’re a winner! Rather, they would be things like, I love you no matter what. 
    9. Take a moment now to say these phrases to yourself. Offer this part of you who’s been struggling unconditional Love. It’s not transactional or based on performance. Offer that now. Really see the part of you that needs to hear these things, needs to know these things. 
    10. If it feels difficult to access unconditional Love in this moment, that is absolutely fine. It’s just not the right moment to touch it. A part of you might be blocking the love. That’s always in the backdrop of our experience, but they can often feel out of reach. See if you can touch this love, this recognition that you are worthy.  
    11. Next, play with the image of releasing the life preserver. Just breathing and floating in the sea of presence. You don’t need to strive. Floating isn’t the byproduct of your hard work and your effort to do this “right.” It is your nature to float, just as it is your nature to love. If you meditate to be a better person, you’ll always be busy trying to be a better person. If you meditate because you’re in love, resting in your own luminous, infinite being in this sea of love, you’ll always be in love. 
    12. For one more full minute, let yourself rest in love. I’ll stop talking now. And if you wish to rest in this way for longer than a minute, I invite you to do so. If you need to move into your day, just give yourself one more minute before doing so. Resting in love. Letting yourself float. Thank you.



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  • Mind Over Muscle: How Meditation Can Take Your Fitness to the Next Level

    Mind Over Muscle: How Meditation Can Take Your Fitness to the Next Level

    Meditation and physical fitness are two practices that are often seen as separate entities, each with its own benefits and challenges. However, what if we told you that these two disciplines can combine to create a more powerful, more effective, and more holistic approach to achieving our fitness goals? Enter Mind Over Muscle, the phenomenon where meditation meets physical fitness.

    The Science Behind Mind Over Muscle

    In recent years, the benefits of meditation have become increasingly well-documented. Studies have shown that regular meditation can reduce stress, improve focus, and increase overall well-being. But what’s less well-known is the impact that meditation can have on physical performance. By activating the brain’s natural reward centers, meditation can actually boost our motivation and drive to engage in physical activity. This is where Mind Over Muscle comes in – by combining the power of meditation with physical exercise, we can create a synergy that elevates our fitness to new heights.

    The Mechanics of Mind Over Muscle

    So, how exactly does Mind Over Muscle work? Simply put, it’s all about harnessing the brain’s ability to rewire and adapt. When we exercise, our brains are capable of reorganizing themselves to optimize performance. This process is facilitated by the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine, which helps to fuel our motivation and enjoyment of physical activity. Meditation, in turn, can stimulate the production of these neurotransmitters, creating a cognitive-environmental feedback loop that amplifies our motivation and enthusiasm for exercise.

    Breathing It In, Sweating It Out

    So, how can you start to incorporate Mind Over Muscle into your fitness routine? The first step is to establish a consistent meditation practice. This can be as simple as dedicating 10-15 minutes each day to sitting quietly, focusing on the breath, and allowing your mind to wander. Once you’ve established this foundation, you can start to integrate exercise into your routine, using the calmness and clarity of your mind to enhance your performance.

    Mindful Movement

    But what exactly does mindful movement look like? It’s not about moving your body in a specific way, but rather about cultivating a sense of awareness and intention. By paying attention to your breath and your body, you can begin to tune into your natural rhythm and flow. This can help to reduce internal resistance and increase your overall sense of enjoyment and engagement.

    Case Study: The Power of Mind Over Muscle

    Meet Sarah, a 35-year-old entrepreneur who struggled with exercise-related anxiety and self-doubt. After starting a daily meditation practice, Sarah noticed a significant shift in her relationship with fitness. She found that her workouts were no longer a source of stress, but rather an opportunity to cultivate calmness and clarity. As a result, she began to push herself to new heights, tackling challenges that had previously seemed insurmountable.

    Conclusion

    Mind Over Muscle is more than just a buzzword – it’s a revolutionary approach to fitness that has the potential to transform your body and your mind. By combining the cognitive benefits of meditation with the physical benefits of exercise, you can unlock a level of performance and motivation that was previously unimaginable. So, take the first step towards unlocking your full potential and start your Mind Over Muscle journey today.

    FAQs

    Q: I’m new to meditation – is it too late to start?
    A: Absolutely not! Meditation is a practice that can be started at any time, regardless of age or experience level.

    Q: Will I have to give up my favorite exercises?
    A: Not at all! The beauty of Mind Over Muscle is that it’s flexible and adaptable, allowing you to incorporate it into your existing routine.

    Q: Is meditation just for yoga enthusiasts or spiritual types?
    A: Not at all! Meditation is for anyone looking to improve their physical and mental performance, regardless of background or beliefs.

    Q: Can I do Mind Over Muscle with a workout buddy?
    A: Absolutely! Having a workout buddy or personal trainer who’s also committed to the practice can be a great way to stay motivated and accountable.

    By incorporating Mind Over Muscle into your fitness routine, you’re not just exercising your body – you’re exercising your mind and spirit as well. So, are you ready to take your fitness to the next level?

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