Health Journal Online

Tag: build

  • Raising Happy Children In Challenging Times: Practices that Build  Essential Skills For Well-Being

    Raising Happy Children In Challenging Times: Practices that Build  Essential Skills For Well-Being

    Sometimes happiness might seem like a stretch—for us and even for our children. The stresses of daily life, getting out the door in the morning, managing a household, coordinating schedules, as well as the bigger issues, including concern about the struggles in the world, can all take a toll on us as adults. Given the increasing issues with children’s mental health, we know it’s taking a toll on our children as well.

    And yet, amid difficulties, happiness is still attainable and essential to well-being and resilience. Research on adult well-being shows that there are specific steps we can take to develop and nurture happiness. 

    As James Baraz writes, joy is “a general feeling of aliveness and well-being that is characterized by meeting ups and downs in life with authenticity and perspective.” 

    Based on our work with children, we know this is true for them, as well. It can be as simple as enjoying a hug, being mesmerized by a ladybug, or giggling at the shape of a cloud. These simple pleasures can be little moments of joy for our children and for us—and they can be a part of raising happy children who are resilient, even in the middle of normal ups and downs.

    Not Denying Difficulty, But Opening to Possibility

    When we talk about raising happy children, we are not talking about “happiness” as the fleeting emotion that is a response to good or fun things. We are not suggesting pushing difficulties aside, but instead developing the capacity to hold them alongside our well-being. As James Baraz writes in Awakening Joy, joy is “a general feeling of aliveness and well-being that is characterized by meeting ups and downs in life with authenticity and perspective.” 

    We envision a happy child as one with a developing sense of ease with themselves, one who often sees and enjoys the good around them and within themselves. 

    Happiness is not a destination or something to be achieved, but rather what Chang Meng Tan, author of Search Inside Yourself, defines as “a deep sense of flourishing that arises from an exceptionally healthy mind.”

    We envision a happy child as one with a developing sense of ease with themselves, one who often sees and enjoys the good around them and within themselves. 

    Research by the Center for Healthy Minds shows that well-being is a learnable skill. There are multiple evidence-based perspectives offering practical ideas for cultivating happiness. 

    In particular, The Resilience Project by Hugh Van Cuylenburg focuses on gratitude, empathy, and mindfulness to support resilience and happiness. The Action for Happiness Project has a similar focus and lists mindfulness, gratitude, and kindness as core skills. In Hardwiring Happiness, Rick Hanson adds to this list and stresses the importance of inclining the mind, or being on the lookout, for happiness and then taking it in. 

    Raising Happy Children Starts by Building Well-Being Skills Together

    Here are three fun activities based on these frameworks to try with your child.

    Inclining The Mind And Taking It In Practice: Glimmer Wand

    Glimmers, coined by Deb Dana, are little moments of peace, safety, and happiness. 

    Cut out, decorate, and glue a star on top of a popsicle or other stick. You can write “catching glimmers” on the star. Share about glimmers and use the wand to “cast a spell” to notice and enjoy glimmers that day. You can also wave it overhead as people share their glimmers and how they make them feel. 

    The brain has a negativity bias. By pausing to seek out glimmers, we can train our brains to notice and savor delight more often.

    Gratitude Practice: Gratitude Sandwich

    Children can draw and cut out pictures of five things or people they are grateful for as their sandwich fillings. 

    • Cut two pieces of paper for the sandwich bread.
    • Glue one piece of the “bread“ to the top and one to the bottom of a poster. 
    • Paste the fillings between the bread (or Velcro so it’s interchangeable).
    • Write Gratitude Sandwich and “I am grateful for…” on the “bread.”
    • Leave the sandwich somewhere visible and use it as a conversation starter about gratitude. 

    Dr. Robert Emmons at UC Davis found that feeling gratitude can move our nervous system out of the stress response. Giving children a visual link to things that foster feelings of gratitude can help strengthen the body-brain connection and develop positive neural pathways.

    Cultivating happiness can be quite simple if we focus on it, even when things are hard. Pausing to notice and take in the good, feeling gratitude, and connecting with others with empathy and kindness in the tiny moments of our day can make a genuine difference. 

    Have the child think about five people who make them feel loved or happy.

    • String a bead for each person onto a pipe cleaner. 
    • Twist the ends together so the beads don’t fall off. These are links of love.
    • Have them touch one bead at a time and remember the special person. 
    • Take a breath in, taking in their love, and out, offering love back to them.
    • Encourage them to notice how they feel. The links of love can be attached to a backpack, worn around a wrist, or left in a visible location. 

    Especially when a child feels lonely or insecure, having a physical anchor can remind them that they are worthy and loved.

    Tuning Attention Towards Happiness

    Cultivating happiness can be quite simple if we focus on it, even when things are hard. Pausing to notice and take in the good, feeling gratitude, and connecting with others with empathy and kindness in the tiny moments of our day can make a genuine difference. 

    Fun, hands-on activities, like those above, can help both adults and children lean into happiness and create space for more joy in our lives.

    Would you like more support building habits of well-being and resilience in your child? Try our new card deck, available April 21. Let’s Grow Happiness includes 50 activity cards to help kids build gratitude, self-compassion, and emotional regulation skills.



    Source link

  • Pump Up Your Gains: Top 10 Strength Training Exercises for Beginners to Build Muscle Fast

    Pump Up Your Gains: Top 10 Strength Training Exercises for Beginners to Build Muscle Fast

    When it comes to strength training, many beginners feel overwhelmed by the plethora of exercises available. But, with a solid foundation in the basics, anyone can start building muscle fast and achieve their fitness goals. In this article, we’ll explore the top 10 strength training exercises that are perfect for beginners looking to pump up their gains.

    Getting Started with Strength Training
    Before we dive into the exercises, it’s essential to understand the importance of strength training. Not only does it help build muscle, but it also improves overall health, increases bone density, and boosts metabolism. As a beginner, it’s crucial to start with exercises that work multiple muscle groups at once, allowing for efficient and effective workouts.

    Top 10 Strength Training Exercises for Beginners
    Here are the top 10 strength training exercises that are perfect for beginners looking to build muscle fast:

    1. Squats: This exercise works the quadriceps, hamstrings, glutes, and core muscles. To perform a squat, stand with feet shoulder-width apart, then bend knees and lower body until thighs are parallel to the ground.

    2. Deadlifts: Deadlifts work the entire back, glutes, and legs. Stand with feet shoulder-width apart, bend down and grab a weight or barbell, then lift up to hip level, squeezing glutes and pushing hips back.

    3. Bench Press: This exercise targets the chest, shoulders, and triceps. Lie on a flat bench, grip the barbell with hands shoulder-width apart, and press upwards, extending arms fully.

    4. Pull-ups: Pull-ups work the back, shoulders, and arms. Hang from a pull-up bar with hands shoulder-width apart, then pull yourself up until chin clears the bar.

    5. Lunges: Lunges target the legs, glutes, and core. Stand with feet together, take a large step forward with one foot, lower body until back knee almost touches the ground, then push back up to starting position.

    6. Rows: Rows work the back, shoulders, and arms. Hold a dumbbell or barbell with hands shoulder-width apart, bend knees slightly, and lift the weight up to chest level, keeping elbows close to body.

    7. Shoulder Press: This exercise targets the shoulders and triceps. Stand or sit with feet shoulder-width apart, hold a dumbbell or barbell at shoulder height, then press upwards, extending arms fully.

    8. Bicep Curls: Bicep curls work the biceps and forearms. Stand with feet shoulder-width apart, hold a dumbbell with hands shoulder-width apart, then curl the weight up towards shoulders, keeping upper arms still.

    9. Tricep Dips: Tricep dips target the triceps and chest. Sit on the edge of a bench or chair, place hands shoulder-width apart, lower body until arms are bent at a 90-degree angle, then push back up to starting position.

    10. Leg Press: The leg press works the legs, glutes, and core. Sit in a leg press machine, push the platform away from you with feet, then lower the weight down until legs are bent at a 90-degree angle, and push back up to starting position.

    Tips for Building Muscle Fast
    To build muscle fast, it’s essential to remember a few key tips:

    • Start with lighter weights and gradually increase the weight as you become stronger.

    • Focus on proper form and technique to avoid injury and ensure effective muscle engagement.

    • Incorporate progressive overload, increasing the weight or reps over time to challenge muscles and stimulate growth.

    • Rest and recovery are crucial, allowing muscles to repair and rebuild after intense workouts.

    • Eat enough protein to support muscle growth and repair, aiming for 1-1.5 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight daily.

    Creating a Workout Routine
    To pump up your gains, it’s essential to create a well-structured workout routine that includes a mix of these top 10 strength training exercises. Aim to work out 3-4 times per week, targeting different muscle groups each day. For example:

    • Day 1: Chest and triceps (bench press, tricep dips, bicep curls)

    • Day 2: Back and biceps (pull-ups, rows, bicep curls)

    • Day 3: Legs (squats, lunges, leg press)

    • Day 4: Shoulders and core (shoulder press, rows, planks)

    Conclusion
    Building muscle fast requires dedication, patience, and a solid understanding of strength training principles. By incorporating these top 10 strength training exercises into your workout routine and following the tips outlined above, you’ll be well on your way to pumping up your gains and achieving your fitness goals. Remember to stay consistent, listen to your body, and make adjustments as needed to ensure a safe and effective workout routine.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Q: What is the best way to build muscle fast?
    A: The best way to build muscle fast is to combine a well-structured workout routine with a balanced diet and sufficient rest and recovery.

    Q: How often should I work out to pump up my gains?
    A: Aim to work out 3-4 times per week, targeting different muscle groups each day.

    Q: What is the importance of progressive overload?
    A: Progressive overload is essential for building muscle fast, as it challenges muscles and stimulates growth by increasing the weight or reps over time.

    Q: How much protein should I eat to support muscle growth?
    A: Aim to eat 1-1.5 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight daily to support muscle growth and repair.

    Q: Can I build muscle fast without weights?
    A: While weights are an effective way to build muscle, it’s also possible to build muscle using bodyweight exercises or resistance bands. However, weights are generally more effective for building muscle fast.

    pump-up-your-gains-top-10-strength-training-exercises-for-beginners-to-build-muscle-fast

  • Feeling Lonely? 4 Ways to Release Shame and Build Healthy Relationships

    Feeling Lonely? 4 Ways to Release Shame and Build Healthy Relationships

    Whether you are single or in a relationship, you may be struggling with loneliness. Just because you are alone doesn’t necessarily mean that you are lonely. For example, you might be single and live by yourself but not feel lonely, spending some evenings alone and others engaged with your community, whether that’s with your nieces and nephews, neighbors, or colleagues. On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, you can never truly enjoy solitude because you feel disconnected from yourself. And even if you do enjoy solitude, you can still experience moments of loneliness. The truth is that we all feel lonely sometimes, and we all need connection with other people, so I invite you to release any shame you experience around your desire for connection.

    1. Destigmatize Feeling Lonely

    Some people speak in a derogatory way about those who share their experiences of loneliness, equating loneliness with a lack of self-love, but I want you to know that this is a faulty assumption. You may be working on yourself, you may have come a long way, you may even love yourself, but you can still feel lonely at times.

    Loneliness can take different forms. You may feel like no one really knows you, gets you, or spends quality time with you, even if there are “friends” around. You can be dating or married and still feel lonely. You could be at a family reunion, surrounded by people to whom you are related, and still feel lonely. Loneliness is not just about a physical absence of people around you but about a lack of authentic emotional connection. We need to feel at home within ourselves in the presence of another—whether in the context of friendship, partnership, or familial relationship. It is normal and healthy to desire authentic relationship with others; this certainly does not automatically mean that you are needy or dependent or insecure.

    Loneliness is not just about a physical absence of people around you but about a lack of authentic emotional connection.

    There is something beautiful about being known and knowing another. There is something beautiful about friendships that withstand trials. There is something beautiful about intimacy and healthy companionship. So if you are feeling lonely, do not judge the loneliness. Do not condemn yourself for feeling lonely. Acknowledge any loneliness you might feel without shame. After all, loneliness is a universal experience.

    Some people have experienced seasons when they were so hurt—perhaps in the midst of a breakup, separation, or divorce—that they didn’t even feel lonely. They may have felt so dismantled by the ending of a friendship or a relationship that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives in isolation. In these cases, getting to the point of desiring connection again is far from a bad thing; it may even be an indication of growth and healing. So when they start to reawaken, when they feel they may begin to trust again, when they start to heal and develop greater self-awareness and insight into the lessons they learned during those difficult times, then they may see an awakening of their desire for connection, friendship, or romantic relationship. If you’ve been there, it is crucial to recognize where you are in the process.

    2. Start With Self-Awareness and Healthy Risk-Taking

    When we aren’t aware of our own loneliness, we can make destructive decisions. Sometimes loneliness can blind us to the truth because we are so focused on our need and desire for companionship. What might this look like? It might mean I want a friend so badly I miss the warning signs that this person is not my friend, and I continue to cling to them because I want connection. The same thing can occur in the romantic arena. I might desire companionship so intensely that I ignore areas in the relationship where I feel unfulfilled or where I can’t show up authentically. If I am in this person’s presence because I just want someone present, I have to tell myself the truth and recognize my loneliness without letting it obscure my view of the truth.

    I want to reiterate that I am not coming at it with the attitude of “You just need to love you.” While self-love is significant, it does not preclude emotional pain or longing for a deeper relationship. If you are feeling lonely, I encourage you to find some things that you can do on your own. People who don’t have close friends or a partner can easily end up self-isolating and doing nothing, so take the risk of doing things in your own company. That’s one of the beautiful things about feeling at home in your own body.

    Are you comfortable going out to eat by yourself, not just sitting in your car to eat during your lunch break? Are you comfortable going to the movies by yourself if there is a show that you really want to see and you don’t have someone to go with? Are you willing to go to an art gallery, a religious service, or a concert by yourself?

    Even as we acknowledge our need for connection and companionship, recognizing that these are beautiful things to desire and working to develop that aspect of our lives, we must refuse to put our lives on hold. Too many of us are waiting until we have a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, to start our lives; we are waiting for other people to bring us joy. But you can live a full life now.

    I invite you to intentionally find spaces where you can spend time around other people, even if they do not require a lot of interaction. Past hurts and social anxiety can make it difficult to form friendships and relationships, so it may be easier to self-isolate. Be gentle with yourself, taking one step at a time as you gradually become more comfortable with other people. Some social settings are less demanding than others and don’t require you to engage with people on a deep level. For example, you could take a class on something you’re interested in, whether it’s cooking, practicing an instrument, or learning a new language.

    3. Cultivate the Relationships You Already Have

    As we learn to connect with others, I invite you to consider the people who are already in your life. I have worked with clients who tell me that they don’t have anyone, but as we continue to talk, they’ll mention different people, and I’ll have to ask, “Well, who is that? And who is that?” It’s easy to overlook what we have, so ask yourself: Do I want to improve the friendships that I already have? Or am I really starting from scratch? Do I actually have no one? Or are there people in my life with whom I wish I had a more substantial relationship? Loneliness is sometimes rooted in fear and distrust. This is most commonly the case for people who are lonely even when they are surrounded by other people. Have you kept your friendships superficial? Or have you been hurt in the past, so it’s become difficult for you to open up again? In a dating relationship, it’s possible to experience physical intimacy without emotional intimacy, all the while saying that you want more. But true intimacy requires vulnerability.

    You might be surprised to find that when you take the risk of being vulnerable and transparent, others are more likely to do the same. If you have a group of friends who just talk about fluff all the time, you might assume that no one in the group wants to have deeper conversations. But can I let you in on a secret? The others may be longing for more meaningful connection as well. So rather than making a false assumption, take the risk of venturing into deeper waters and being honest with people about how you feel.

    Can I let you in on a secret? The others may be longing for more meaningful connection as well.

    Being vulnerable is especially valuable for those who are used to being the strong one in a relationship. If you hold on to that identity, you’ll never really let people in. It’s very lonely to always be the giver, and you may end up feeling resentful or disconnected from the same people you’re trying to help.

    It is necessary to cultivate spaces where you do not have to wear the mask of perfection, where you can speak freely about what is going on in your life rather than hide behind the automatic response “I’m fine. How are you?” Do you find yourself asking a million questions about someone else because you’re trying to distract them from what’s going on with you? If you do this, you can feel lonely.

    For those of you who are in dating relationships or marriages where you feel lonely, what would it mean for you to risk showing up for real, to stop going through the motions, to stop coexisting merely as roommates? To clarify, when I talk about showing up for real, I don’t mean simply sitting someone down and sharing your list of grievances. That wouldn’t truly require vulnerability on your part because you’d be putting all the blame for the problems in the relationship on the other person. What would it look like to show up with honesty, to openly share your desires and your wounds with the goal of repairing the relationship, instead of just venting?

    Greater connection requires greater vulnerability. Although vulnerability can feel scary, being really and truly known is worth the risk. This is what it means to be at home with yourself, not with a script or a mask, not as Superwoman or Superman, but as the real you in the company of another.

    Greater connection requires greater vulnerability.

    4. Let Go of Self-Sabotage and Learn From the Past

    If you spend all your time with people you don’t enjoy, or stay at home by yourself but keep saying that you feel lonely and want connection—well, the old routine is not working for you. Unless the deliveryman turns out to be your soulmate, I don’t know how you’re going to meet anyone new. Wherever you live, I invite you to look online and find something that is happening in your city—whether it’s a fair, a festival, a lecture series, or a concert.

    I also recommend getting involved in an organization that reflects your interests. While it’s great to go to one-off events, people don’t often spend a lot of time talking to strangers. Rather, they stick with the people they showed up with and then leave with those same people. But if you join an organization or group that meets regularly, that usually creates more opportunity for conversation. In this context, you can observe other people, get a sense of them, and develop greater connection over time. You may have to get out of your comfort zone while working to build up those relationships.

    Reflect on past friendships and dating relationships and the lessons you gleaned from them. If I don’t have clarity about what damaged my past relationships, then I am likely to repeat the same mistakes and continue to have relationships that do not flourish. I’m not looking solely at what other people did to me, but also considering any role that I played in how I chose my friends, how I have treated them, and how I showed up in those relationships. What challenges do I experience around intimacy, whether on an emotional, a physical, or a spiritual level? In what ways, if any, have I sabotaged past relationships?

    Someone recently wrote to me about owning their part, recognizing how they had ruined what could have been a good thing in their last relationship. We want to be honest with ourselves about how we may have sabotaged relationships, chosen or been attracted to people who were problematic, or closed ourselves off.

    Nobody likes to be rejected, but if I’m always walking around looking unapproachable or angry, or if I seem arrogant or my attitude communicates that I don’t want to be bothered, then I’m standing in my own way of connection. It is foremost to try to get a sense of what I may need to heal and grow so that I can be more open to connection.

    Exercise: Listen, Move, and Breathe to Honor Connection

    If you’re at home right now and this speaks to you, I invite you to put on a song about love for family, friendship, or a romantic partner, get up, and dance to release whatever you’re carrying in your body. If now is not a good time, I invite you to make some space later today to put on some music, move, and breathe so that you are not consumed by loneliness as you make the commitment and take the steps to live fully and authentically, honoring your connection with yourself and with others.

    Affirmation: If it aligns with you, read these words aloud: “I desire friendship, companionship, and connection. There is no shame in that. I honor my desire for deeper connection.”

    Adapted from MATTERS OF THE HEART Copyright © 2025 by THEMA BRYANT. Reprinted here with permission from TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House Publishers.



    Source link

  • Build a successful gut health practice

    Build a successful gut health practice


    In this special Gut Health Month episode, we’re joined by leading gut health expert Nicole Dynan. Nicole shares her journey as a gut health dietitian and offers practical strategies to help dietitians specialise and stand out in this growing field, along with ways to effectively communicate complex science with clients.

    Hosted by Brooke Delfino 

    Biography

    Nicole Dynan is the founder of The Gut Health Dietitian (est. 2013) and one of Australia’s leading gut health experts. After a decade in corporate chronic disease management, Nicole saw first-hand how gut health impacts energy, stress, mood, and overall well-being. Since then, and together with her team, she’s helped over 35,000 people improve their gut health, feel more comfortable, and regain control of their overall health through science-backed nutrition.

     

     

     

    In this episode, we discuss:

    • Nicole’s career journey as a gut health dietitian
    • Steps to position yourself as a trusted expert in gut health through branding, social media and networking
    • How to communicate complex gut health science in a way clients can easily understand and implement
    • The importance of collaborating with GPs, specialists and other allied health professionals
    • How to stay updated with the latest gut health research

    Additional resources

    Gut Health Month 2025 is supported by Activia Probiotic Yoghurt, Farmers Union, Life-Space Probiotics, Nerva, The Probiotics Institute, Swisse Nutra+, Coeliac Australia, Crohn’s & Colitis Australia and The Gut Foundation

    Click here to download ‘Your Complete Guide to Gut Health Month 2025’ to learn how you can get involved.

    Register for our free half-day Gut Health Symposium here.

    Click here for free gut health resources to use in your practice.

    Connect with Nicole Dynan at guthealthdietitian.com or in Instagram @the.guthealthdietitian

    Click here for Dietitians Unite 2025 tickets in Melbourne on 30 May

    The content, products and/or services referred to in this podcast are intended for Health Care Professionals only and are not, and are not intended to be, medical advice, which should be tailored to your individual circumstances. The content is for your information only, and we advise that you exercise your own judgement before deciding to use the information provided. Professional medical advice should be obtained before taking action. The reference to particular products and/or services in this episode does not constitute any form of endorsement. Please see  here  for terms and conditions.


    Source link
  • Struggling To Stick To Your Resolutions? It Takes At Least Two Months To Build A Habit

    Struggling To Stick To Your Resolutions? It Takes At Least Two Months To Build A Habit

    As January comes to an end, many of us may be struggling to stick to our New Year’s resolutions. But don’t give up just yet. Researchers say it takes not just 21 days but at least two months to turn a new habit into part of your routine.

    A new study from the University of South Australia (UniSA) challenges the common belief that habits form in just 21 days. The researchers examined how long it takes to establish health-related habits, such as exercise, drinking water, taking vitamins, and flossing. The results of the meta-analysis that evaluated 20 studies conducted between 2008 and 2023, involving over 2,600 participants revealed that it typically takes around two months — and in some cases, nearly a year.

    The study noted that while certain health habits took a median time of 59-66 days, some may take as long as 335 days. “Sometimes we found that the simple behaviors, (like) if someone wanted to start flossing each day, might take someone a week to get into their routine, but more complex behaviors such as changing someone’s diet and physical activity can take a lot longer,” Ben Singh, co-author of the study told CNN.

    Singh also noted that people looking to build healthy habits, such as eating better or exercising more, may have greater success if they practice them in the morning when motivation tends to be higher.

    The researchers believe that the current findings would help “people set realistic expectations” about habit formation, encouraging them to stay committed even if progress feels slow.

    The idea that habits form in 21 days traces back to plastic surgeon Maxwell Maltz, who observed that his patients, whether recovering from nose jobs or amputations, typically needed about 21 days to adjust to their new appearance. This led to the theory that people in general would take the same period to adopt a new behavior.

    “There is the possibility that it will put people off and maybe discourage them and demotivate them. (But) some people (who) may think that it’s going to take them 21 days, but then after 21 days they’re still struggling, then at least this research and this evidence provides people with some realistic benchmarks that they can follow,” Singh noted.

    Source link

  • How to Build Mindful Social Media Habits in the Age of TikTok—for You and Your Kids

    How to Build Mindful Social Media Habits in the Age of TikTok—for You and Your Kids

    A few years back, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed when I came across an image of Miranda, my childhood best friend. She was on a beautiful white-sand tropical beach, tan and radiant, contorted into an incredible yoga pose. In contrast, I was sitting in my living room, pasty white and deeply bundled against the frigid Maine temps, nearly comatose from tech use. And I noticed something. As I stared at the pic, my throat clenched slightly. My shoulders rose up just a hair. And my stomach dropped. I had a wisp of a thought: Ugh. I wish that was me. This was followed by a cascade of reasons that I was better than her, in a desperate attempt to make myself feel better. 

    What makes this moment notable, even though this yucky feeling had happened a bajillion times while looking at Insta, was a recognition of how that image impacted me. If I think about my technology consumption like a diet, what I just ate left me feeling bloated and heavy—perhaps the equivalent of eating an entire bag of Cheetos. In the past, I might have scrolled on for thirty minutes, continuing with my day and feeling some unnamed uneasiness, but not really noticing or connecting my feelings to anything in particular. This time, though, it was clear as day. This time helped me wake up and ask myself, “Is scrolling through social media healthy for me?” The answer was a resounding no.

    So then I deleted all the apps and never got on social media again. 

    Yeah, right. 

    What is true is that this was the beginning of a long process of really waking up to how my technology use was impacting me. I was able to start noticing when my face felt hot and my muscles clenched because an email triggered me before shooting off a fiery response. I recognized that if I woke up and looked at the news on my phone first thing in the morning, I was extra grouchy toward my family as I got ready to teach school that day.

    Mindfulness basically asks us to take off our judgy pants for a second and really look at our experiences, especially the ones we think we already know.

    On the flip side, my awareness of some of the ways tech really served me grew as well. I was able to notice that I felt empowered by calls to action posted by friends who were promoting social justice. I was grateful for the electronic calendar that reminded me of a forgotten appointment I was supposed to go to in thirty minutes. And especially as we braved the COVID-19 pandemic, I deeply appreciated being able to connect with my students, family, and friends over Zoom.

    Listen, I have an obvious bias here. I believe it is really easy for us as humans to get sucked into mindless technology use, and I think that sometimes makes us feel like crap. I believe there are forces at work that make it hard to put the phone or video controller or computer screen down. And I believe that we do have control over ourselves and our choices, but only if we are paying enough attention to notice what’s going on. 

    Listen to Your Kids

    I want to be clear: This is not just a concern for young people. Though the specifics of the challenges around tech use may be generational, the modern struggle for balance and wellness affects all ages.

    I am a mother of two young kiddos (ages one and four at the time of publication), which means I am grappling with how to best support them in developing their own healthy relationships with technology.

    For now, it is easy because I can just turn off the iPad after one episode or take away the phone after the timer dings. But at some point, I need to transfer that power to them so they can start noticing and making their own choices about the impact their tech use has on them. Of course, they will make mistakes. Of course, I will make mistakes. But I’m hoping, much as I do with my students, that we can figure it out together.

    I encourage you to be vulnerable with the young people in your life. Model owning your struggles. Invite them to share theirs. Sit on the same side of the table and problem-solve together rather than fight. We all want less fighting. Be open to the possibility that you are in this together.

    You can learn a lot just by listening to kids. The world is different from the one we grew up in. I didn’t have a mobile phone or social media until college and a smartphone came well after that. I had an entire childhood before modern tech became a reality. I can’t fully comprehend what it would be like to grow up in a world where my relationships were mediated by technology. The closest I can come is simply listening to young people. One piece of advice that has really stuck with me came from Jeremy, a teen from Virginia, who said, “One of the biggest mistakes I see parents make is they try to relate too much. While both generations have issues, it’s not the same and they don’t fully understand. Parents should just acknowledge the generation gap, and be open to listening and understanding.” 

    So, I encourage you to be vulnerable with the young people in your life. Model owning your struggles. Invite them to share theirs. Sit on the same side of the table and problem-solve together rather than fight. We all want less fighting. Be open to the possibility that you are in this together.

    Create Social Media Habits That Serve You

    Mindfulness basically asks us to take off our judgy pants for a second and really look at our experiences, especially the ones we think we already know. When we fully pay attention, defenses down, hearts open, we can be amazed by how much more there is to learn. By hearts open, I mean we can do this work with care. We can do it because we care . . . about ourselves, about our families and friends, and about the larger community. Acknowledging that we truly do want what is best for all can help us make moves that might not feel easy. Perhaps we create a social justice post to highlight the ways we can better care for one another and this world. Perhaps we put our phones down to really show care to the people we love.

    Close your eyes. Okay, I guess you have to read through this first, but then come back and close your eyes and walk yourself through this exercise.

    1. Imagine yourself waking up on your most perfect day. What does it feel like to be in bed? How do you soak in that moment? Do you stay there for a while to enjoy the restfulness? Are you someone who loves to jump right up and throw on some upbeat music? Whatever those first few moments in your ideal day look like, imagine them.
    1. Afternoon rolls around. What now? Do you go out for a walk? Take a catnap in a sunny patch on the couch? Hit the beach or slopes?
    1. How will you wind down from your day? Watch a movie with your family? Read a book curled up in your beanbag chair? Take a short walk around the block?
    1. When you are ready, come back to the present.

    This is an idealizing exercise. Obviously, we don’t usually have this much control over every moment of the day. We must consider other people’s needs. And we do things—work, errands, exercise, and so on—that may not feel gratifying in the moment but may ultimately serve us. Some life circumstances simply do not allow for us to do all that we wish. But it can be really helpful to know in our bodies what it feels like to live a beautiful day, as well as what factors help create those feelings.

    This exercise is meant to highlight the fact that how you spend your time matters. What you fill your mind with—experiences, content, images—matters. It may be the most important thing to consider. The way we spend each moment ultimately adds up to our lives. If we really want to start being clear about how our tech can best serve us, we need to be very clear about what we want it to serve. Many people grapple with this big question their whole lives: What work, activities, causes, and ways of being in the world make me feel most alive, most connected, and most authentically myself? There will not be a final answer to this question. It will be a lifelong inquiry, and your response will undoubtedly shift as you grow and have new priorities.

    Finding meaning in our lives won’t come just from what we do, but how we show up.

    Finding meaning in our lives won’t come just from what we do, but how we show up. Are we all the way there for those experiences? Or are we distracted? Can we find meaning and contentment even in moments that are not exciting, awe-inspiring, or fun? Our tech habits do not exist in isolation. Sometimes they are a result of some unmet need in our lives. Sometimes our habits result in an unmet need. It helps to figure out what things nourish us and help us to feel most alive. Only then can we really understand how our tech use can support that. 

    You Can Always Begin Again

    The truth is, at least momentarily, it is easier not to try. It is easier not to notice. It is easier to just hop in our tech inner tube and let the tech companies’ brilliant neuroscientists and psychologists whisk us away on a “happy,” tech-fueled river float. It’s easier to let our habits and patterns whisk us away than it is to look at those habits and ask them, “Are you getting me where I want to go? Are you creating the life I want to live?” Sometimes just asking ourselves to pause can feel Herculean. We aren’t used to it. Our habits push us to stick with what we know. Knowing this, perhaps you ask yourself, Can I love the dance? Can I love my humanness? Can I love myself when my actions create sleep deprivation, jealousy, work backlogs, or sadness? Can I fuel my desire to keep coming back with love and care instead of shame?

    If we go into the practice of examining our tech habits by criticizing ourselves, and criticizing others, for not living up to our ideals, we won’t want to keep trying. Lead with love.

    Maybe we notice we have been scrolling for over an hour one day, only to miss noticing the same behavior a week later. Maybe we choose to set a timer when we play video games one day and hop up after thirty minutes to go get some fresh air, only to hole up for a whole weekend playing games a month later. Still, we can begin again.

    And still, we can value ourselves as we fall. We can value ourselves enough to try again. 

    Attention Hijacked: Using Mindfulness to Reclaim Your Brain from Tech by Erica B. Marcus. Text copyright © 2022 by Erica B. Marcus. Reprinted with the permission of Zest Books, a division of Lerner Publishing Group, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this text excerpt may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the prior written permission of Lerner Publishing Group, Inc.

    Can We Have Compassionate Tech? 

    Aden Van Noppen, founder of compassionate tech company Mobius, answers our questions about how technology hijacks attention and how we can foster a healthier relationship with our screens.
    Read More 

    • Ava Whitney-Coulter
    • August 16, 2022

    You Can Change Your Life by Loving Yourself 

    Learning to take care of your heart, to accept the pain that comes with seeing the people you love suffer, and to be okay with suffering yourself, is the true work of self-love—and it begins with the breath.
    Read More 

    • Ali Smith, Atman Smith, and Andres Gonzalez
    • June 10, 2024



    Source link

  • Build Healthy Habits in the New Year With 3 Science-Backed Strategies

    Build Healthy Habits in the New Year With 3 Science-Backed Strategies

    Our habits create our lives. 

    They are the basis for most of our positive outcomes in life. They determine how often we practice mindfulness, our exercise patterns, our ability to place our full attention on our work. They bolster our capacity to interact with the people around us from a sense of compassion and full presence.

    Our habits also create most of the problems we encounter in life. They keep us stuck in self-defeating patterns like eating that full pint of ice cream, getting lost for hours on social media, or “checking out” instead of being present for the people we love.

    As you begin this New Year, it’s easy to get caught-up thinking only about goals, outcomes, and New Year’s resolutions. These are important. But we think it’s even more important to consider the underlying habits that either keep you stuck or allow you to experience profound changes.  

    How do you nourish healthy habits? Here are three proven steps:

    3 Science-Backed Strategies to Build Healthy Habits in the New Year

    Step 1: Take an Inventory of Your Current Habit System

    Edward Deming, one of America’s leading management scientists in the 20th century, declared, “Every system is perfectly designed to get the results it gets.” Allow that to sink in for a moment. 

    The idea here is that your current system of habits is “perfectly designed” to produce the negative, self-defeating, patterns you wish you could change. If you struggle to exercise, it’s because your current habit system is perfectly designed to keep you from working out. If you can’t find time to meditate, it’s because your current habit system is perfectly designed to prevent you from training your mind.

    Which existing habits are standing in your way? Which new habits will allow you to make the changes you would like to see?

    And that raises an important question: what results do you wish you were getting? For instance, do you want to be more mindful, less distracted? Do you want to be kinder, less agitated? Do you want to spend more time exploring the things that matter most to you, less time binge-watching shows on Netflix? These are the outcomes you want to change.

    Next, look one level deeper, at changes in habits that will help you achieve these outcomes. And this begs a second question: Which existing habits are standing in your way? Which new habits will allow you to make the changes you would like to see?

    Step 2: Build New Habits By Stacking Them on Habits You Already Have

    By now, you should have a few new habits in mind that will help you achieve the changes you’d like to make. The question then becomes: how do you build these new habits?

    In our work with high performers and executives, we’ve found that the best way to build new habits is to, in the words of habit expert James Clear, “stack” them on top of existing habits.

    For example, let’s say you want to build the habit of spending less time distracted by your phone. You could try to build this habit from scratch by saying, “I am not going to look at my phone at all in the evening.”

    Stacking this new habit on top of an existing habit is a much more effective strategy. For example, you can say: “After I walk through my front door and take off my jacket in the evening, I’m going to put my phone on Do Not Disturb mode.” This approach increases your likelihood of building the habit not only by tying it to an existing habit (taking off your coat as you walk in the door) but it also includes a specific action, which the research says is another important strategy for making habits stick. Instead, saying vaguely, “I’m going to try to look at my phone less,” it’s based on a tangible action, “switching my phone to Do Not Disturb.”

    The path to changing your life is more about the process of building the habit than the specific habit itself.

    There are numerous ways to enact this strategy in everyday life.  You could use your walk into the office as a time for practicing present moment awareness, use slowing down in your car at stop signs or stop lights as a cue to take one or two mindful breaths, or use beginning meals as a cue for expressing one thing you are grateful for. 

    The possibilities here are endless with this simple strategy: Stack the new habit you wish to create on top of an existing habit so that it becomes integrated into the midst of your everyday life.

    Step 3: Build and Sustain Your New Habits Using the Four C’s

    The final step uses what we call the Four C’s of habit formation to weave these new habits deep into the fabric of your everyday life.

    1. Commence Small. This first critical tip builds on Stanford professor BJ Fogg’s research, which suggests you start with a goal you can realistically achieve. For example, it’s better to start with 5 minutes of meditation each day than to set yourself up for disappointment by trying to meditate for an hour. Be careful of setting unrealistic New Year’s goals that risk failing in mere days because they are too big. Remember, the path to changing your life is more about the process of building the habit than the specific habit itself.
    2. Commit.  Make a 100% commitment to building your new habit.  It turns out that it’s actually easier to commit to building a new habit 100% of the time than 99%. That 1%, after all, can make you miserable.  It fuels that voice in your head that says, “I’ll skip it just this once.” But by making a 100% commitment to a tiny habit, you end this mental argument. We have seen over and over again with thousands of people that this is really the key tip for creating new habits.
    3. Create a consistent Cue. Going back to the idea of habit stacking, where creating a “cue” helps you remember to act. Use one of your existing habits as your cue, as a trigger that helps you remember to build the new habit.  If you want to spend less time mind wandering and more time noticing the sights, sounds, and sensations of the present moment, for instance, come up with a regularly repeating cue that reminds you to practice, a cue like waking up, going to bed, walking upstairs, stopping at stoplights, riding in elevators, or standing in line at the store. 
    4. Celebrate. All you have to do to celebrate is savor the experience for just a few seconds. Savor the exquisite feeling of connecting to your breath. Savor the feeling of pleasure that you derive from doing the activity you made a 100% commitment to carry out.

    So, while the world hammers on about goals, outcomes, and New Year’s resolutions over the next few weeks, remember that real change and progress only happens when we carefully construct a system of habits that make new outcomes possible.



    Source link

  • How Leaders Build Trust at Work Through Authenticity

    How Leaders Build Trust at Work Through Authenticity

    How much trust does your organization experience? That’s the first question I ask when I do a culture assessment with the businesses I serve. Trust is the essential ingredient and foundation for all relationships and businesses. Unless leaders build trust, they can’t build anything that will succeed for the long term, and any kind of organizational change will be seriously challenged.

    Organizational scholars define trust as our willingness to be vulnerable to the actions of others because we believe they have good intentions and will behave well toward us. In other words, we let others have power over us because we don’t think they’ll hurt us; we think they’ll help us and have our backs. When the trust level is high within coworker relationships, it corresponds to trusting the company that employs us, and we feel confident it won’t deceive us or abuse its relationship with us. 

    But what are the mechanics of this? How do we trust? In order to trust someone, especially someone who is unfamiliar to us—which means we haven’t had the opportunity to develop trust yet—our brains build a model of what the person is likely to do and why. And there’s a lot going on beneath the surface; we use both mindfulness and empathy during every collaborative endeavor. This means both people in an interaction are always assessing, Should I trust you? How much do you trust me? Some of us are innately trusting, naturally seeking positive intent and putting we, before me. But in my experience, trust is earned. This is why it matters that we as leaders build trust with those we lead. It is not wise to trust someone blindly until you have vetted that they are, in fact, trustworthy.  

    Trust and Safety Requires Nurturing

    The level of trust in an organization is influenced by how much psychological safety exists. Do people feel safe voicing their honest opinions? Do they believe that any criticism aimed their way will be fair and that their response to it will be heard? Teams that enjoy high trust levels have been shown to be more creative and to come to decisions faster. They’re higher performing teams because they’re willing to admit mistakes and to call out problems and challenges and ask for help. If two teams are equally smart, why would a more trusting team be more productive than a less trusting one? Because they iterate faster. They learn faster. And why do they do that? Because they trust each other to be honest and point out the things they’re discovering in real time. A foundation of safety helps these team members understand and develop those discoveries quickly, collaborate smoothly, and cocreate with flow. 

    In the workplace, trust is highly influenced by leadership because leaders model the behaviors others will follow. When leaders lead with fear and dominance, trust and safety suffer in the long run. A boss who berates, threatens, or punishes you will affect your performance and ability to speak up authentically as you focus your attention on self-protection. This leads to feelings of “learned helplessness” as employees avoid the boss and/or remain as invisible as they can by doing the minimum. And face it: this kind of leadership behavior hurts, to the point of inflicting trauma. 

    Humans experience social rejection and social pain in the brain’s pain matrix for longer than they experience physical pain. Research in neuroscience has shown this. We are wired to connect and belong. If we lack the trust and safety that are essential to belonging, we feel that our very survival is threatened, which prolongs our suffering. To turn this around, we can consciously and actively work to create greater belonging using conscious leadership techniques at work and in the world. Belonging means belonging to yourself, as well as being connected to a purpose larger than yourself. 

    Authenticity In Action 

    Being authentic is one of the fastest ways to create psychological safety in the workplace.  

    Psychological safety is the sense that we can share our feelings, beliefs, and experiences openly with others at work without fear of reprimand, losing status, or punishment. Studies on psychological safety conducted in collaboration between Google and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) found it to be one of the most important factors in creating successful teams and thus high performing, innovative organizations. This insight is the result of almost 30 years of research by Amy Edmondson. Psychological safety supports moderate risk taking, speaking your mind, creativity, and most importantly trust. In my work with teams and senior leaders, I assess the psychological safety of the individual leader, the team and the culture first.

    Before leaders build trust through being courageous in our interactions with others, we need the courage to understand ourselves and what’s important to us. Try out this practice that focuses on cultivating this understanding. 

    A Mindful Practice to Deepen Your Inner Trust

    Find a quiet space if you can and take out a journal. Take a minute or two to breathe and tap into your center. Now think of a recent experience you had with a partner, friend, family member, or coworker where you wanted to be authentic, but weren’t. Imagine pausing at the height of this interaction and asking yourself the following questions:

    • What am I afraid would happen if I shared my thoughts and feelings with this person right now?
    • How will I feel if I don’t share them?
    • If I weren’t afraid, what would I most want to say to this person right now?
    • How can I be even more open and vulnerable?

    Cultivating Trust with Your Teams at Work

    As leaders and managers, it’s important that we’re the first ones to model how to be authentic in the workplace. Josh Tetrick, cofounder and CEO of Eat Just, Inc., and I talked about his process of hiring for resilience and developing a resilient culture by leading with authenticity. First and foremost, Josh makes it clear in his communications what he cares about most. Eat Just’s mission is to increase the consumption of plant-based foods, to reduce animal maltreatment and forest degradation. Josh has found that the more confident he is in his mission and who he is, the more vulnerable and humble he can be when he makes mistakes. 

    He now recognizes that when Eat Just was just starting, he projected more self-assurance—to the point of arrogance—than he really felt because he wanted to sound more confident than he really was. But as he’s stepped into leading, he’s learned that he’s good at some things and not so good at others, and he knows and accepts that. This frees him from feeling the need to overcompensate and allows him to be his authentic self.

    Josh let me in on some of the things he says when interviewing new hires: “This is the kind of company we are—this is the mission. If you gave me a 100% chance to get bought by an investor or a 20% chance to stay in the ring and get closer to achieving our mission, I’d choose the 20% probability.” 

    Then he tells potential new hires he wants them to ask themselves if they’re willing to get gritty, step into the unknown, and stay focused on that mission for the long haul. Sharing his truth upfront in this way weeds out people who aren’t the greatest fit for the culture. Josh takes the same approach with investors. 

    Josh also asks job candidates questions that are designed to assess their resilience, because he’s found that those who are the best fit for his company are inherently resilient. Josh offers a great example of how leaders build trust by cultivating a strong inner game of authenticity and sharing your truth and confidence as a leader on the outside. 

    Leading from authenticity sometimes means leading from vulnerability. According to Brené Brown, vulnerability entails uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. As a leader, you have the opportunity to create conditions that support naming the fears that come up around being vulnerable. Once they’re named, you can get past fear to the place where courage arises and encourage more confidence, teamwork, and connection.

    4 Questions to Foster Your Authentic Self 

    When we fear that we can’t think and act as we truly are, we put parts of ourselves on hold. Here’s how we can begin to let go of expectations and pressures and tend to our wants and needs with kindness. Read More 

    • Carley Hauck
    • October 12, 2016
    Why Vulnerability is Your Superpower 

    Dr. Michael Gervais speaks with author and researcher Dr. Brené Brown about the relationship between vulnerability and courage, and what it takes to show up even when you can’t control the outcome. Read More 

    • Mindful Staff
    • November 20, 2018



    Source link