I was once considered beautiful. Perhaps, by some, I still am.
At fourteen years old, I took a modeling course with two of my girlfriends. The ultimate in turning the body into an object to be adored. After three weeks of learning how to walk, sashay, and twirl, we sat down to paint our faces. The palate consisted of endless brushes and shadows—pinks, browns, golds, and glimmering sparkles.
Now, I think of it as war paint. We were being trained in the art of disguise, heightening our beauty, to use sexuality as an enticing weapon, and as a means of power. But at the time, it was playing dress up, like a six-year-old getting into mum’s make up and smearing it all over her face, making garish designs that can look cute on children. I didn’t understand the implications.
As part of this evolution, thin eyebrows were a necessary part of the mask: pull out all those unsightly and unwanted hairs to create a narrow arch of both surprise and slight disdain, to disarm with a slight tilt of the head, gazing upward and flirtatious.
One of the instructors, Mary-Anne, was moon-faced, large lipped, and fish-eyed, with long lashes. She came at me with relish, gleeful, saying, “I’ve been waiting for weeks to get at you.”
As she carefully tugged out each hair my eye muscles contracted into an excruciating spasm. The tears poured out of my tortured left eye while I endured this in the pursuit of iconic beauty.
Lesson One: Vanity Is Costly and Finite
This was the first indication, although I didn’t get the message, that vanity has a price.
This attachment to the body, the idealizing of our skin bag, ultimately comes at great cost.
Women so often are defined by, and get their power from, physical characteristics that have a built-in expiry date. But at fourteen we can’t fully know this. It is impossible to feel what will become inevitable; we understand it as happening to others but not to us.
Smiling, she handed me a mirror. I looked and saw that I was a little more hidden—that what I thought of as me, was not really me.
So, I sat very still, passive, while my eye cried, fascinated that this eye had a mind of its own. Finally, the teacher finished. She examined her creation and was proud. Smiling, she handed me a mirror. I looked and saw that I was a little more hidden—that what I thought of as me, was not really me.
Lesson Two: Desire Leads to Suffering
When I was fifteen, Judy Welch, a diva of the modelling scene, and the owner of an agency, entered me in the Miss Chin Bikini contest that took place annually on Centre Island in Toronto.
We were twenty-two heads of cattle going up for the beauty auction. While uncomfortable, I was still too young to know what I was feeling. I still didn’t fully realize that we were up for scrutiny and judgment. Each of us was an object of comparison, to see who would be most valued.
It was 1971, and I wore a white crocheted bikini with daisy-like nipple coverings and brown platform strappy sandals. The contestants lined up before the judges in a back room behind the stage. We were twenty-two heads of cattle going up for the beauty auction. While uncomfortable, I was still too young to know what I was feeling. I still didn’t fully realize that we were up for scrutiny and judgment. Each of us was an object of comparison, to see who would be most valued in this competition of the female form.
Following this inspection, we swished along the runway in that contrived, lithe and pseudo-sexual manner to catcalls and Italian exclamations, and it was finally dawning on me that I am an object. It felt a little dangerous. I came in third place. Not the most beautiful, but still in the running. I won a bottle of Baby Duck that I was too young to drink, and my picture was in the Toronto Sun showing me walking, ash blonde hair, sharp jawed, bikini clad. I was a success.
Obscene breathy phone calls followed this win, until they stopped. Some version of me was wanted. I was repulsed and afraid, but clearly also wishing to be seen. It was confusing to do what was being asked of me and then putting myself at risk.
Thankfully, even then, the news was short-lived. Everything passes. This was the second lesson on vanity: As we attach, so do others, and this grasping is problematic.
Lesson Three: The Need for an Inner Life
The third lesson came when I went to see a photographer to create my modelling portfolio.
Every model needs a book of photos to display her various looks to potential employers. These are her wares.
Derek told me to go into the bathroom and ice my nipples and then put my tight black, ribbed cardigan back on. He directed me to partially undo my sweater. Dutifully, I complied. Already, I knew to do what men tell me. I was fifteen years old. The photographic image conveyed something unrecognizably coquettish in black and white: long hair, head tilted and mouth in a pouty kiss.
I see now how quickly we get lost in the appearance of things, hooked by the illusion of sex for sale, reinforcing the manufactured desire of the viewer.
It became important to cultivate an internal life so that when I ultimately arrived at the invisibility of middle age and beyond, there would be something more than the loss seen in the mirror. But this was a slow and painful learning.
My very brief modeling career soon ended after that experience. I didn’t have what it took to pretend in this way, to completely buy into the dream.
I realized early that my moment as a focus of male attention, and the power this gave, was time limited. It became important to cultivate an internal life so that when I ultimately arrived at the invisibility of middle age and beyond, there would be something more than the loss seen in the mirror. But this was a slow and painful learning.
At 28 and 34 years old I was pregnant, becoming a woman of substance, gaining 65 and 45 pounds respectively. I stopped traffic in the street when crossing, because I believed I was indestructible.
It was a fascinating time. My body was not mine. It did what it wanted and there was freedom in this choicelessness. The body was morphing while these creatures grew inside. I was a temporary accommodation for them. We were symbiotic while they were both inside and out, until they started running away.
Mindfulness and parenting are wonderful ways to develop an inner life. You come to know your experience inside and out.
Lesson Four: Learn to Let Go
Motherhood is a continual process of letting go. It is unfortunate that I didn’t let go of my attachment to my body and its changing appearance when I had that first opportunity.
Varicosities abounded as a result of pregnancy. I had one long, wriggling and twisting vein that traversed my lower leg removed for an obscene price.
In my forties, I started running long and fast away from the Grim Reaper, following my husband who is five years younger than I am, trying to hang on to a youth that was already gone.
I ran four marathons, culminating in Boston in a 90-degree Fahrenheit heat wave. I finished. So many do not. I have perseverance and pacing. I managed to develop a bleeding gut, from dehydration, and a bacteria called campylobacter picked up a month before in Guatemala. It turned my body into a vomiting, excretive, bloody mess. When this healed, I got pelvic cramping whenever I ran more than five kilometers.
Many years have been devoted to the mirror. I sometimes now think of hanging a black cloth over it so I can stop the compulsion to look and mourn the loss of my good looks.
I asked an esthetician friend of mine what she thinks are the best anti-aging products or techniques. She says, “Honey, hold back the hands of time and stop them before they start moving.”
Every day I examine myself through the looking glass and take in each tiny detail—the fine lines around the mouth, the darkening under the eyes, the fat herniation in my eye lids, and the gentle sagging of the jaw.
I asked an esthetician friend of mine what she thinks are the best anti-aging products or techniques. She says, “Honey, hold back the hands of time and stop them before they start moving.”
We could also consider accepting the inevitable. Just let go of hanging on to what is already gone. But we revere our youth and beauty, as do others, for so many reasons. If females need protection, it is much more likely we will get it if we are young, gorgeous, and reproductively viable. We can avoid presenting the reality of sickness, aging and death that we desperately want to ignore. Our culture, unlike some, hates aging and the aged. They are a frightening reminder of our end. We push away what we don’t like. We behave in defiance, avoiding the unavoidable truth: that we are mortal.
We push away what we don’t like. We behave in defiance, avoiding the unavoidable truth: that we are mortal.
I note every wrinkle that has begun to engrave its way into my face and see the effects of gravity over time. I see the development of the estrogen pouch as my waistline thickens. The varicosities increase, and my skin thins. Sunspots creep over my hands. Red dots pop up on my chest and belly. Thank medicine for liquid nitrogen. We can burn a lot away. Hairs sprout from my face.
I make a pact with my friend that she will pull those hairs out of my chin if I am dying in a hospital bed. Why stop then? I see my nails thicken, skin dry, my hair grey, my libido decline.
Lesson Five: Acceptance Is More Helpful Than Resistance
I look good for my age. In that sentence there is the gripping on to that which is passing before my eyes, the need to look makes me feel good. I never tell people to guess my age. What if they are right?
Unable to let go, I hang on with hair colour, tweezing, exercise, vitamins, estrogen, testosterone, vein removal, facials, botox, and filler. I am careful not to cross the line into looking freakish. No duck lips or chipmunk cheeks for me. I want to look natural. To pretend on top of pretending.
A lack of willingness to embrace the impermanence and decline of the body is an expensive practice. Acceptance would be far more skillful than resistance, and this absurd continuous re-modelling of an aging bag. I am still chained to this body and an idea of who I think I am or who I think I should be.
What is acceptance if not resignation? I don’t understand it is not a battle.
Three of my friends are turning fifty. I have three gifts for them. A care kit for the future. These are: a magnifying mirror, Nora Ephron’s I Feel Bad About My Neck, and Larry Rosenberg’s Breath by Breath.
The mirror is such an interesting companion on this journey, and avoidance of its reflection is as much an act of hanging on to your view of self as is the gazing at and manipulation of your image. It can also prevent eye trickery if one can see clearly. The books have two functions. One is for lightening attachment to the body with humour, and the other is an instruction for working with the truth that change can be a friend, rather than the enemy.
I have understood this lesson in acceptance, but there is still the looking glass, and I remain bound to its glitter and my image.
This futile attempt to freeze the march of time on my face and body is the cause of suffering. Intellectually, I know this, but the idea of giving up on my body is currently aversive. The cosmetic surgery business is booming. Women in their 20s and 30s are taking the plunge into myriad injections, surgical removals and implants, spawning a generation of females who are more like Barbie than Barbie herself, with their immobile faces, large eyes, and protruding lips. If only the body were perfect, we would be happy—and yet another part of me knows this is not true.
I have understood this lesson in acceptance, but there is still the looking glass, and I remain bound to its glitter and my image.
I am in my 60s now, still measuring myself against my cohort. I see these bulges of back fat, falling biceps, and increasing fatigue. My bones and muscles, however, carry me lithely and my sight and hearing are still almost perfect. I await the time when I can no longer keep up with the maintenance and am completely unseen. It would be a good time for a second career as a spy.
Alternatively, as an 80-year old woman I knew once said, I could let it all go, “…wake up every morning, look in the mirror and laugh, shake my head, and say, How did I get here?”
Innovel Medical, a London-based developer of clinically focused medical technologies funded by Pentland Medical, presents a perspective that airway safety outcomes may be influenced by how procurement decisions are made. This consideration becomes particularly relevant when cost factors are prioritized over purpose-built securement solutions intended to support patient safety, infection control, and tube stability.
“In operating rooms and critical care settings, airway securement is an important part of patient care that doesn’t always receive the same level of attention,” Stewart Munro, Managing Director of Innovel, states. “Clinicians recognize its role in maintaining stability during anesthesia and ventilation, though the approaches used in practice can vary.”
The implications of this variability are increasingly supported by emerging data. According to a study, unplanned extubation (UE) remains a measurable and persistent safety concern, even as structured airway safety programs demonstrate the ability to reduce its incidence. These findings, Munro argues, point to a broader opportunity for consistency in airway management practices, particularly in how devices are selected and applied.
“In many areas of medicine, practice evolves as evidence accumulates, yet airway securement has often relied on methods that were never originally designed for the task. There’s an opportunity to revisit these conventions with a more intentional lens,” he explains. Munro believes that unplanned extubation is preventable and encourages standardized securement approaches supported by reliable tools and protocols.
Within clinical settings, Munro notes that the challenges associated with non-purpose-built securement methods can present in several ways. Clinicians may encounter variability in adhesive performance, which can affect tube stability during procedures involving movement or prolonged positioning. Skin integrity can also become a consideration, particularly among pediatric and older adult patients, where repeated application and removal of general-use tape can affect the skin barrier. These factors, while often managed at the bedside, contribute to a broader picture of cumulative clinical and operational impact.
Research into ventilator-associated pneumonia (VAP) further illustrates the importance of secure airway management. A pneumonia surveillance guidance highlights the role of tube movement and micro-aspiration in bacterial contamination of the lower airway. A meta-analysis, encompassing more than 16,000 patients, found that re-intubation increased the risk of VAP by more than fivefold. Such findings, Munro stresses, reinforce the connection between airway stability and infection risk, underscoring the value of securement methods that can maintain consistency throughout the duration of care.
Munro offers an additional perspective on how these clinical realities intersect with procurement practices. “When decisions are made primarily at the unit-cost level, it can be difficult to fully account for the downstream clinical considerations that follow. Expanding the lens to include total care impact allows for a more balanced evaluation,” he remarks. This viewpoint reflects a growing conversation among healthcare leaders and procurement teams about how to align purchasing decisions with broader patient safety and system efficiency goals.
Innovel’s response to these insights is reflected in the development of LeaFix, a purpose-built airway securement device designed specifically for endotracheal applications. Engineered with a focus on both stability and skin compatibility, LeaFix incorporates a structured adhesive design that distributes pressure across anatomical anchor points, supporting consistent tube positioning. Its CE marking under the EU Medical Device Regulation (MDR) reflects adherence to stringent regulatory standards, providing an additional layer of assurance for healthcare providers seeking validated solutions and providing Innovel with real-world clinical evidence to improve its solution.
Beyond its technical features, Innovel observes that LeaFix may reflect a growing recognition of airway securement as a distinct area within clinical practice. Munro states, “In other areas of care, purpose-built devices have often been introduced over time as understanding of clinical requirements and performance expectations has developed.”
Within this context, Innovel’s broader portfolio, including complementary solutions such as packaging both eye and airway securement solutions together, is part of its ongoing focus on helping related needs across the airway management pathway. Another innovative solution from Innovel is the Vacuderm, which is a smart tourniquet with an aim to not only identify potential invisible veins, but also facilitate easier cannulation.
The conversation around airway securement is also extending into professional forums and educational initiatives. Innovel has supported a recent webinar, where clinical experts shared insights into airway-related risks and emerging best practices. Such platforms, as Munro notes, can contribute to raising awareness and fostering dialogue among clinicians, hospital leaders, and policymakers.
As healthcare systems continue to refine their approaches to patient safety, airway securement presents an opportunity for alignment between clinical insight, regulatory standards, and procurement strategy. Munro states, “Progress usually begins with recognizing areas that have remained unchanged for a long time. From there, meaningful improvements can be introduced through collaboration and thoughtful design.”
A forward path emerges through a more integrated approach to decision-making, where procurement teams consider not only immediate cost but also clinical performance, patient experience, and long-term system impact. By supporting the adoption of purpose-built, regulated solutions, healthcare organizations can move toward greater consistency in airway management, contributing to improved outcomes across diverse care settings.
Over the years, I’ve worked closely with many meditation practitioners and Buddhist authors, some of whom have been clients, and my own practice has grown alongside those relationships. Being surrounded by people with such depth of experience can be inspiring, but it can also quietly raise the bar for where you think you should be in your ability to navigate life’s difficulties.
One of the most humbling moments for me came during a trip to the emergency room related to complications from my autoimmune disease. I was in excruciating pain when a close friend, who also has a long meditation practice, asked, half joking, “Are you able to outsmart your pain?”
I remember telling her at one point, almost defensively, that I meditate every single day. I had this quiet, competitive edge about it. I did not want to miss a day, even in the hospital. Missing a day felt like a failure.
I remember telling her at one point, almost defensively, that I meditate every single day. I had this quiet, competitive edge about it. I did not want to miss a day, even in the hospital. Missing a day felt like a failure. In hindsight, that belief feels a little ridiculous, but at the time, it carried real weight.
At that moment, I was not able to outsmart my pain.
My response was immediate: “No. I’m not able. I’d like the pain meds.”
Even as I said it, a small part of me felt inadequate. I was feeling like a fraud. If I had spent years around mindfulness practitioners and teachings about working skillfully with pain, shouldn’t I be better at this?
Health challenges have given me many moments like that, moments when I questioned my ability to navigate difficulty in the way I believed I should.
What I didn’t understand at the time was that practice does not always show up in the exact moment of distress. Sometimes it shows up in how we move through the experience afterward.
Christiane later offered a perspective that shifted something for me.
“Angela,” she said, “if you’re not meditating when you’re hospitalized, it doesn’t make you a failure. Your practice to date has prepared you to navigate these moments. That’s what the practice is for.”
“Angela,” she said, “if you’re not meditating when you’re hospitalized, it doesn’t make you a failure. Your practice to date has prepared you to navigate these moments. That’s what the practice is for.”
It was a simple reminder, but an important one. I realized how quickly I had turned a moment of human vulnerability into a judgment about whether I was doing the practice “well enough.”
Around the same time, I was helping a menopause telehealth company develop educational content and share mindfulness practices for women navigating perimenopause and menopause. I had no trouble guiding others through meditation or creating resources that helped people access the practice.
Yet privately, I sometimes struggled to apply the same steadiness to my own life.
That tension, between helping others access mindfulness and questioning my own ability to embody it, was incredibly revealing. It showed me how quickly self-judgment can creep in, and how easily I hold myself to impossible standards. More importantly, it helped me see where I still have work to do, on the cushion and off.
Naming the Experience
As months passed, I became more curious about what might be happening beneath the surface of my experience. I understood the stress and anxiety tied to my health challenges. Those had been part of my life for years. But this felt deeper.
I began to question my beliefs about how I was supposed to handle difficulty. Clearly, I had internalized an idea of what this should look and feel like, especially for someone with as much mindfulness experience as I had. After more than 15 years working in this space, I had unconsciously decided that I should not be struggling at all.
I began to question my beliefs about how I was supposed to handle difficulty. Clearly, I had internalized an idea of what this should look and feel like, especially for someone with as much mindfulness experience as I had. After more than 15 years working in this space, I had unconsciously decided that I should not be struggling at all.
Psychologists have a term for a similar pattern in professional life. The impostor phenomenon, first described by Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978, refers to the persistent feeling that we are falling short of a role we are supposed to inhabit, even when there is ample evidence that we belong there.
While this concept is often discussed in career settings, a similar dynamic can arise in contemplative practice.
Experienced practitioners are still human. We can be just as overwhelmed by everyday stressors as anyone else, and often, the mind is quick to judge that experience. Mine tends to sound like, If you were truly a mindfulness practitioner, you wouldn’t be feeling this way.
In those moments, the mind takes a very human experience and reframes it as failure. You’re an impostor.
Part of what makes this so challenging is that we begin looking for evidence to support that belief, convincing ourselves we are failing at something we were never meant to perfect.
Part of what makes this so challenging is that we begin looking for evidence to support that belief, convincing ourselves we are failing at something we were never meant to perfect.
What About Stress?
To be alive in these times is to experience sustained levels of stress. It does not take much, turning on the news, scrolling through headlines, or navigating daily responsibilities, to feel the weight of political unrest, global uncertainty, financial pressure, social division, and personal strain.
The nervous system absorbs all of it.
So how do we regulate ourselves in the midst of this? And what does this have to do with mindfulness impostor syndrome?
Research in stress physiology shows that when the brain perceives a threat, the body shifts into survival mode. Heart rate increases, breathing changes, and attention narrows toward potential danger.
In these states of activation, it can feel much harder to access the awareness we have worked so hard to cultivate. This can create a confusing internal signal: If I have these tools, why can’t I use them right now?
For mindfulness practitioners, this can easily be misinterpreted as a failure of practice.
But the nervous system is not malfunctioning in these moments. It is responding exactly as it was designed to.
This misunderstanding is where self-doubt can quietly take hold.
Clear Seeing
One of the most widely cited insights from psychiatrist Carl Jung is, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
As mindfulness practice deepens, awareness expands. We become more attuned to our internal landscape, our thoughts, emotions, and reactions. As a result, we often begin to notice reactivity more clearly than we did before. What can feel like regression may actually be increased awareness.
As mindfulness practice deepens, awareness expands. We become more attuned to our internal landscape, our thoughts, emotions, and reactions.
As a result, we often begin to notice reactivity more clearly than we did before.
What can feel like regression may actually be increased awareness.
You might notice yourself getting triggered in situations where, in the past, you would have reacted automatically without even realizing it. Now, there is a pause. A recognition. A moment of seeing what is happening.
That shift can feel uncomfortable, not because something is going wrong, but because something is being revealed.
Research on mindfulness suggests that practice strengthens meta-awareness, our ability to observe our own mental and emotional states.
The reactions themselves may not be new.
What is new is our ability to see them.
Expectations and Shame Are Here!
Most of us carry an internal narrative, one that quietly projects expectations onto our daily lives. In mindfulness practice, this often takes the form of how we think we should feel when we sit.
Calm. Patient. Equanimous. Grateful.
We tend to measure success by the presence of these states, while overlooking the full range of human emotion, fear, anger, grief, uncertainty, that are equally part of our experience.
We tend to measure success by the presence of these states, while overlooking the full range of human emotion, fear, anger, grief, uncertainty, that are equally part of our experience.
When our lived reality does not match that internal expectation, shame can arise.
During the months leading up to menopause, I found myself navigating unfamiliar sensations in my body. Many of my tools seemed to disappear. I felt reactive, scared, and uncertain about what was happening.
And the narrative that followed was harsh:
You should be handling this better.
Who are you to guide others if you cannot manage this yourself?
Instead of simply noticing stress, I added another layer: self- judgment.
At times, mindfulness concepts themselves can become a form of pressure. Psychotherapist John Welwood described this dynamic as “spiritual bypassing,” using spiritual ideas to avoid or override difficult emotional realities.
In practice, this can show up in subtle ways, but the result is often the same. We begin to feel guilt or shame about what we are experiencing.
Dealing with Dysregulation
Our ideas about mindfulness can sometimes work against us. If we believe the practice should make us calm and less reactive at all times, we set ourselves up for disappointment.
Mindfulness is not about performing calmness.
Mindfulness is not about performing calmness.
As Allen Ginsberg once said, the task is simply to “notice what you notice.”
When we cultivate awareness, we begin to see our reactions as they arise. Maybe you notice yourself getting triggered in a conversation. Maybe you pause instead of immediately reacting. Maybe you recognize, even afterward, that you were overwhelmed.
These moments matter.
Mindfulness meets us exactly where we are.
It does not require that we arrive in a particular state.
It asks us to meet whatever state we are in with a bit more awareness, and when possible, a bit more kindness.
Research on self-compassion suggests that responding to difficult emotions with care rather than criticism supports emotional resilience and regulation.
When we approach our experience this way, the narrative of failure begins to soften.
Anyone who has spent time meditating knows that emotions will always arise. What changes is not the presence of emotion, but our relationship to it.
Instead of asking, Why am I still reacting like this?
We might ask:
What is happening in the body right now?
What is this reaction trying to tell me?
These questions reopen the possibility of practice, even in the middle of difficulty.
Anyone who has spent time meditating knows that emotions will always arise. What changes is not the presence of emotion, but our relationship to it.
Moments of reactivity do not disqualify us from the practice.
They remind us why we practice. Awareness is not something we perfect. It is something we return to, again and again.
If you find you often react without thinking, explore this practice to respond with greater awareness.
Daily life is full of irritations: moments of inconvenience, situations where we don’t get what we were hoping for, delays, disappointments, prickly interactions that can leave us confused and exasperated.
If we’re honest, we can probably admit that sometimes our reactions in those moments tend to be reflexive rather than intentional. We feel our anger or annoyance rise, and we react almost as though we’re reading a script.
Can we explore these habitual reactions in a way that gives us enough space to respond differently? In today’s practice, teacher Patricia Rockman guides us through a meditation to help us meet whatever is arising, so that we have more agency when the next moment arises.
This meditation is about working with habits. In particular, our habitual reactions to difficult situations that commonly arise. These could be anger at being stuck in traffic, sadness at not getting what you want, or frustration when dealing with companies that keep you on hold for what feels like eternity. Whatever it may be, whether it is something significant or something that might seem mundane, mindfulness practices can help us deal with our habitual reactivity in more skillful ways.
A Meditation to (Gently) Interrupt Habitual Reactions
Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.
Get into a comfortable posture, one that is familiar to you and that you use when engaging in a practice, and bring attention to your body. If you are sitting, bring attention to your points of contact; where your sitting bones are on your chair or cushion, or where your feet or legs are in contact with the surface.
Bring attention to where your hands are in relation to your body, whether they are resting on your thighs or folded in your lap. Bring attention to your chest rising, your chin in line with your navel, and your tongue at rest behind your teeth. If you are choosing to lie down for this practice, it is preferable for you to lie on your back.
Bring attention to your body as it makes contact with the mat, floor, or bed. Note your points of contact, and also note where your body is not in contact. Whatever your position, allow the surface that you are lying or sitting on to take on the work of holding you up. Bring attention to the front body and the back body, and everything in between.
Now shift your attention to the sensations of breathing where they are most readily available, whether at the nostril, the chest, or the abdomen. Really hone in on the sensations of the breath as they make themselves known to you, picking one place and resting your attention there.
Attend to the in-breath and the out-breath. Attend to the movement of the body as the air moves in and out. Attend to the nostrils; you may be noticing the coolness of the air as it goes in, and the warmth as it moves out. Attend to the breath or the chest, focusing on the expansion of the body with the in-breath, and the deflation of the body as the breath leaves.
Allow the body to settle. Allow the breath to settle. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Each breath is a new breath. Each breath is a receiving and a releasing.
You will notice from time to time that your attention will move into thinking, into the future, past, planning, anxiety, or daydreaming. Your task is simply to notice this habitual tendency of mind, and gently return to your breath over and over again, without judgment and without a story. There is no right or wrong here, there is simply attending to your breath, noting when your attention moves, and bringing it back again.
Notice when the breath is low, and when the breath is short. Notice when it is shallow, and when it is deep. Mindfulness is about coming to know our experience in its entirety, whether wanted or unwanted, and in this case it is coming to know the experience of breathing.
Breathe out and let go of this primary focus on the breath, and allow it to be present but in the background. On an in-breath, establish attention in your entire body. Bring an open receptivity to experience and to sensations in the body as they come and go. Note their arrival, persistence, or passing, and explore these. Bring a friendly interest and curiosity to this investigation of the sensorial nature of experience, whatever it is.
Notice how your body feels. There may be ease, tension, relaxation, discomfort, or pain in a part of your body. Whatever it is, when a sensation calls out for attention, investigate it and explore its depth and various qualities. Whether you lean into it or lean away, whether it is pleasant, unpleasant, or even neutral, without changing anything in this moment, simply attend to what is arising in your body as it shows.
Attend to what is arising as best as you can and without judging it, but notice judgment or aversion if they do arise. As best as you can, explore the sensation as it is, without judgment.
Investigate sensations as they arise. Once you are finished investigating one sensation, wait for another to arise and investigate that one. Remember that a sensation may be internal or external. Perhaps sounds are making themselves known as they come and go. Get to know your bodily sensations, in your body, in this moment.
Note when your attention moves into thinking, or you feel an impulse to act or shift position. Acknowledge that this is what is here right now. Turn your attention back to your body, over and over again. Explore one sensation, let go of it, and then bring your attention into another as it enters your awareness.
Now, if you want to, bring to mind a manageable stressful situation. Maybe it’s a recent time when you were irritated, sad, confused, or anxious. Perhaps it was a situation in a relationship or at work. Bringing to mind this situation, remember that if what comes up is at all overwhelming for you, feel free at any time to turn your attention back to breathing with your body.
If your eyes are closed, open them. Consider a stressor and note what arises immediately. It could be a bodily sensation, a thought, or an emotion. Perhaps there is a behavior or an impulse to act. Start to get to know your stress reactivity signatures.
If there are thoughts, observe them as best as you can. If there are emotions, try naming them, such as “sadness”, or “anxiety”. Remember that labeling emotions helps to settle them and make them more manageable. Labeling emotions creates an opportunity to give you a choice about what happens next.
If there are body sensations, make a note of these, and actually turn your attention to them. Explore them even if they’re unwanted. Get to know them. Stay with them for as long as they are holding your attention. Note whether they increase, persist, or fade. Recognize that this is a moment of stress, and that it’s ok; it’s already here. Bring a compassionate and kind holding to this experience. Be with it as it is, even though it may be unwanted. Explore your body and the sensations for as long as they’re here.
Now, shift your attention back to the sensations of breathing, perhaps in your belly. If there are any remaining sensations, hold attention at the same time. Engaging in the option, should you choose, to expand into these on the in-breath, softening, expanding, and releasing on the out-breath, letting go, or allowing and letting be, if this is possible. If this is not necessary, then simply bring attention to the belly and the rising and falling of the breath that comes and goes.
Expand around the breath to the entire body once again, to any and all sensations. Be with the body, with your breathing in the background and sensations in the foreground, from head to toe. Bringing a feeling of spaciousness to your experience; be open and receptive, with an open front and strong back.
When you’re ready, let go of this practice, and if possible bring a more expanded and spacious awareness to your next moments.
Now, if you feel inclined, take a paper and pen and write down any words, thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, and impulses to act that came to mind. Write down what came up for you in that practice when you introduced the stressor. Name the emotions, and listing them. What bodily sensations and what impulses to act or behaviors, if any, went through your mind? These components of experience may show themselves in a variety of ways, moving from thoughts, to emotions, to bodily sensations, to behaviors, and back to emotions and thoughts, and that’s OK. Record these as they show up to you.
Once you’ve finished, take a moment to look at what you’ve written and think about where in your habitual reaction you might intervene with mindfulness. How might you bring awareness to these habitual reactions when they arrive, to provide more choice if this is needed, or to introduce other options about how to respond? How might you stop yourself, to be able to take a step back and gain perspective?
Bring Mindful Attention to Habitual Reactions
Perhaps make a commitment to yourself about how you might practice with this in some small way when difficulty arises. Perhaps once a week or once a day, simply bring mindful attention to an experience, or bring the breath your mind when difficulty shows, or shift an attitude, or engage in a different behavior.
Whatever you may do, remember that awareness is always a moment away, and mindfulness is portable it can be with us wherever we are, in any moment, at any time.
Unchecked stress may lead to overwhelm, unhelpful coping, and burnout. When you learn to recognize the warning signs, you can take wise action to manage your stress—with a little kind attention, and a lot of self-compassion. Read More
Last spring, I struggled to finish my most recent book, Happy Relationships: 25 Buddhist Practices to Transform Your Connection with Your Partner, Family, and Friends. I missed two deadlines and spent many anxious nights lying awake, worried I might not finish the book at all—or that I would ruin it completely. Even though I was working hard, I constantly felt I wasn’t writing fast enough or well enough. I doubted my talent, questioned my worth, and procrastinated, all while criticizing myself harshly.
In the past, I’d pushed myself through projects using force, pressure and fear. But this time, that approach wasn’t working. I knew I needed something different to genuinely be productive—something kinder and softer. So I turned to the tools and teachings of my Buddhist training: mindfulness, lovingkindness, and wisdom. As I began practicing them, my relationship to my work quickly shifted, and I felt less overwhelmed and more at ease, and it became easier and felt more natural to write. In a few weeks, I finally finished my book.
Mindful Care Makes It Easier to Be Productive
You can use these same practices to support your own work. They’re simple and accessible, and all they require is that you bring gentle attention to your body, mind, and heart. You don’t need to use every tool or follow them in a specific order. Just start with Mindful Listening, and then turn to the others as needed. The more you use them, the easier they become—and the more they can help steady, encourage, and support you and your work.
Start with Mindful Listening
When you feel overwhelmed or stuck, pause. Sit quietly and listen inwardly. Notice your body. Observe your thoughts. Acknowledge your emotions without trying to fix or judge them. You might realize that your procrastination isn’t due to laziness, but to something deeper—perhaps fear or a sense of being overwhelmed. Underneath your procrastination is often a tender part of you that needs care, not pressure.
This practice of listening is the foundation of wise action. It helps you respond with understanding instead of reactivity. It reminds you that you can begin again, not by changing yourself, but by meeting yourself with compassion.
Reconnect with Joyful Effort
One of the most useful qualities you can cultivate is what Buddhists call “virya”—a Sanskrit term translated as energy, diligence, or effort. “Virya” doesn’t mean pushing or grinding – rather it refers to our wholehearted, joyful energy that we can direct toward what is beneficial, useful, and good.
If you’ve been treating your work like a burden or obligation, pause and reconnect with your original intention. Your work—whatever it is—can be a meaningful offering, an expression of your values. When you remember why it matters, you can let it guide you, and use virya instead of force to create the words, the progress, or the result. You’ll be surprised at the power of gentleness and sincerity to drive your process instead.
If you’ve been treating your work like a burden or obligation, pause and reconnect with your original intention.
Build Confidence Through Wisdom
Buddhism understands that it’s wise to understand the result of past actions, so recall other difficult tasks or projects that you’ve completed. Remember that you’ve met deadlines, kept commitments, and followed through even when it was hard. Buddhist wisdom teaches that confidence doesn’t come from perfection—it comes from recognizing and respecting your own experience. Keeping this in mind helps you know that you’ll complete this, too—not because you’re perfect, but because you’re reliable, trustworthy, and consistent.
Cultivate Gratitude
Throughout your work day, practice gratitude—not just for your own effort, but for the countless visible and invisible beings that make your life and work possible. Thank yourself for showing up. Remember your friends, mentors, loved ones, and even the workers who make sure you have electricity, water, food, and shelter. This sense of interconnection can help ground you in appreciation. It reminds you that you’re not alone—and that your work can benefit others, too.
Work in Small, Steady Steps
Rather than aiming for long hours or big breakthroughs, create a steady, manageable routine. If possible, try working for an hour or two each morning and then take a break. Let go of the need to hit a word count or finish a full chapter. Just begin.
When worry arises, meet it with mindful attention. Don’t try to silence it or push it away, but don’t follow it into catastrophic thinking, either. Let the thoughts come and go. Remind yourself that fear doesn’t need to be conquered—it needs to be met with patience, kindness, and presence.
Rest When You Need To
As deadlines approach, you might notice old habits returning—the urge to push harder, to avoid rest. When that happens, pause. Close your laptop, put your hand on your heart, and take a few slow breaths. You may notice a long-held belief that resting is dangerous or irresponsible. Notice your own stories around what it means to “be productive.” Gently acknowledge this, then place a hand on your heart and say to yourself, “I’m here for you.” Repeat this lovingkindness meditation to yourself for at least a few minutes. Offer yourself your whole-hearted presence, right here in the midst of your stress. You may find—like I did—that rest doesn’t slow you down at all. In fact, it usually restores your heart and mind and enables you to return to your work with better focus and more clarity.
Need Help Practicing? Try This Meditation.
Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and need a break, try this calming meditation. You might be surprised how just a simple pause can return you to yourself and help you be productive in a way that feels much more aligned and natural.
It seems that distraction is the oxygen we breathe nowadays, with infinite bits of information at our restless fingertips. Each time I open my Edge browser, captivating news headlines and flashy images assault me. Half the time, I forget where I was headed!
Is the effort to maintain control of our attention a fool’s errand? Nicholas Carr, in his best-seller, The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains, notes that more than a few top journalists have stopped reading books because 1) they can easily find the information they need at Wikipedia and other online sources, and 2) their attention spans have withered.
Mindfulness meditation nudges us in the opposite direction. Rather than surround ourselves with endless options, we simplify. The practice has us paying attention to this present moment, with curiosity, kindness, and nonjudgment. In place of multitasking and busyness, we discover present-moment attentiveness free from the relentless push to look for more. Mindfulness serves as a counterbalance—a grounding influence that keeps us very much here, on the spot.
Mindfulness serves as a counterbalance—a grounding influence that keeps us very much here, on the spot.
What Attention Training for ADHD Can Teach Neurotypical Practitioners
For people living with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), the need for attention training might be more pointed. In the winter and spring of 2025, two groups completed my six-week “Mindfulness for ADHD” workshop series, with the option to extend to nine weeks.
I wanted to track if and how these techniques were making a difference for workshop attendees. Participants completed a 19-question evaluation at the beginning and end of the program, and data was analyzed for those who completed both: 5 participants from the 6-week program, and 3 from the 9-week program.
One evaluation statement read, “I get distracted easily, and have a hard time refocusing on a task.” With these negatively worded statements, greater disagreement shows improvement. The totals for both groups were pre: 14 and post: 20—a 43% increase.
Henry, one of the participants, offered this reflection: “I realize the benefits from feeling more grounded and able to recognize when distractions are impacting me and how to handle them in order to get on with things that are most important.”
One common misunderstanding of mindfulness is that we are cultivating a particular state of mind, like calm or bliss, and anything that interrupts this process (“monkey mind”) is a detriment. People who subscribe to this perfectionist view tend to become discouraged when their ideal doesn’t materialize. They often quit, concluding that mindfulness is not for them.
One common misunderstanding of mindfulness is that we are cultivating a particular state of mind, like calm or bliss, and anything that interrupts this process (“monkey mind”) is a detriment.
The effort in mindfulness practice is not to exert oneself to keep the mind focused on a particular object, such as the breath. Rather, the aim is to recognize the wandering mind and return our attention to a stable anchor of awareness—such as our breath, or feet on the floor. This exercise develops attention, and builds resiliency. You might as well be falling down and getting back up again, over and over.
Starting With Simple Intentions
In one of the weekly sessions, participants were asked to set their intention in the beginning of the day, on arising. They identify a priority, such as cleaning the living room, and then keep reminding themselves of this during the day when they get involved in other activities—an active application of the meditation technique.
“I saw how often my mind drifted from the intention,” wrote Casey, a longtime mindfulness practitioner. “By the end of the series, I had a good grip on it and was able to take on the task of painting my bathroom using this approach, and now it’s finished. I was so used to not getting things done in the past!”
The Multitasking Myth
Our modern culture is wedded to multitasking: the belief that we need to be dextrous at paying attention to a bunch of things at the same time. Research, however, has dismantled this myth, as neuroscientists have shown that the human brain is best suited to paying attention to one task at a time. Any more than this creates stress, increases errors, and begins to erode productivity.
The main dealbreaker is that when we shift our attention, say, from reading an article to looking up a website, our brain has to reorient to the new context, and then when we go back to the article, we have to reorient again. This chews up precious cognitive resources, a process that researchers refer to as “switch costs.”
Replacing multitasking with mindfulness resonated with a third group of four “Mindfulness for ADHD” participants when they responded to the statement, “Multitasking is a great way to get a lot done.” 40% of them agreed starting out, and at the end of the program, 75% disagreed/strongly disagreed.
The people living with ADHD in these three groups were relieved to hear that simplifying to one thing at a time conserves cognitive resources and reduces stress, while preserving attention. And this message strikes a chord with the general population as well. In a 10-week Workplace Mindfulness training conducted with 10 police officers, their response to: “Multitasking enables me to accomplish more” showed a major change of mind (significant disagreement) in the post evaluation.
The “Mindfulness for ADHD” program included a pausing practice that we call “head and shoulders.” It’s a way to take an immediate break from a challenging situation—overwhelm, frustration, stress—connect with the big picture (open space), and then revisit the challenge with a spacious frame of mind. “Learning to pause before reacting and to stay present with one task at a time,” says Gloria, “has been especially helpful.” The group with four participants showed strong improvement with regard to the evaluation statement, “I tend to be impulsive, taking action, and then regretting it later,” progressing from75% agree/strongly agree (pre) to 50% disagree (post).
The Link Between Anxiety & Attention
Anxiety and stress are common in connection with attention difficulties. The evaluation statement that showed the greatest improvement with the first two ADHD groups was:
“I get stuck with the storylines that can make me feel anxious or stressed, and I don’t know how to pause or interrupt this pattern.”
In the first two groups, disagreement increased by 70% (Total scores: pre: 17; post: 29). The third group progressed from 75% strongly agree/agree (pre) to 50% disagree (post).
Mindfulness isn’t like a vending machine where you simply put in a coin and out pops a bag of chips. There isn’t a one-to-one relationship between the practice and outcomes, which derives from the non-goal orientation of the practice. Of course, we’d like to get something out of it, but at the same time we are encouraged to check our ambition at the door. That way, we can be present with the actual practice, following the instructions as best we can, without hankering for something outside this moment.
When we’re stuck on storylines, it’s like our thoughts are amplified by loudspeakers, glued to our ears. Mindfulness practice has us noticing when this is happening, acknowledging that these are thoughts which come and go. We don’t have to “fix” anything. We just return our attention to this world here. Some mindfulness folks see this back and forth activity as exercising a mental muscle. We learn that, through awareness, we can radically change how we relate to our thoughts, ranging from being mesmerized and trapped, to objective discernment.
Noticing Thoughts Without Judging Them
Relating to our thoughts without judgment is key.
Getting stuck understandably makes people feel anxious or stressed. When we’re trapped in a whirlwind of thoughts, stress and anxiety are not far behind. Their impact on the brain affects working memory, which is closely related to attention.
“Research has shown that rapidly changing circumstances, worry, and anxiety can all have a significant impact on your ability to focus,” writes Kate Morgan in the BBC’s “How Anxiety Affects Your Focus.” It stands to reason that learning how mindfulness tools can help deal with anxiety can assist us in regaining attention capacity.
Mindfulness is not about getting rid of stress and anxiety, but relating to them with openness and curiosity—seeing them as they are, without the varnish of habitual patterns, bias, and aversion.
People’s sense of powerlessness often arises from the fact that they don’t know how to pause or interrupt this looping cycle of distraction, anxiety, compromised focus, and judgmental thoughts. That momentary pause to be with our self-critical thoughts in a new way seems like it might not do much, but it’s actually doing a lot of work. Since it’s so easy to habitually get drawn in, putting a pin in it and taking a mental step back, even just for a breath, becomes a game-changer.
Attention Training Matters In a Distracted World
The mindfulness elements of grounding, present-moment orientation, kindness towards oneself, and developing awareness, attention, and nonjudgment are of course not restricted to people with ADHD. In fact, a key reason for the growing widespread interest in mindfulness is the crying need for balance and well-being in the midst of our techno-addled consumerist-driven world.
These skills take time to develop, and the process isn’t linear. But a growing body of research is showing that these mindfulness practices work to strengthen our attentional capacity, reduce the attendant stress of constant distractability, and enhance our sense of personal agency in a noisy world that’s relentlessly trying to pull us out of the present moment.
For decades, women with breast implants who developed unexplained fatigue, brain fog, or chronic pain were often told their symptoms were “in their heads.” Today, that’s beginning to change. As awareness of Breast Implant Illness (BII) continues to rise, more patients are finding answers — and hope — through trusted medical advocates like Dr. Landon Pryor and his team at PryorHealth, a national leader in explant and recovery care.
Understanding Breast Implant Illness
“Breast Implant Illness, or BII, is a condition that many women experience after receiving breast implants, though it’s still not fully recognized by all in the medical community,” explains Dr. Pryor, founder of PryorHealth and a board-certified plastic surgeon with more than 20 years of experience. “Common symptoms include fatigue, brain fog, chronic pain, joint and muscle aches, autoimmune-like reactions, and unexplained inflammation. Each patient experiences it differently, which is why listening to their story is so important.”
That approach — listening first, healing second — is the foundation of PryorHealth’s BII Initiative, which aims to raise awareness and deliver compassionate, patient-centered care to those suffering from the condition.
Recognizing the Signs
Because BII presents differently for each woman, recognizing potential symptoms can be difficult. “If you have implants and are experiencing chronic, unexplained symptoms that started or worsened after surgery, it’s worth exploring the possibility of BII,” says Dr. Pryor. There is no single diagnostic test, which makes patient awareness and self-advocacy critical. “The key is to track your symptoms, seek a knowledgeable surgeon or advocate, and understand that your experiences are valid—even if the medical community hasn’t fully recognized the condition yet.”
A Focus on Total Healing
Dr. Pryor is one of the few plastic surgeons in the country who made the rare decision to stop performing breast augmentations altogether — dedicating his practice exclusively to explant surgery and whole-body recovery. At PryorHealth, the standard procedure for BII patients is a total capsulectomy, which removes both the implants and the surrounding scar tissue capsule.
“This is critical for safety and symptom relief, especially if the implant has ruptured,” he explains. “Recovery varies by patient, but many notice symptom improvement shortly after surgery. Typical downtime is about two weeks, and most patients resume full activity without restriction by six weeks.”
While total capsulectomy is the most direct solution for addressing the root cause of BII, Dr. Pryor and his team also emphasize holistic recovery. “Without removing the implants and capsules, nonsurgical therapies can only do so much,” he notes. “However, after proper en bloc explant and total capsulectomy, additional detox treatments can definitely help in reducing toxins and inflammation in the breasts, body, and brain.”
To support patients’ long-term wellness, PryorHealth offers complementary therapies such as IV treatments and platelet-rich plasma (PRP) therapy, designed to accelerate detoxification and healing.
The BII Centers of Excellence: Expanding Access and Awareness
Recognizing how many women were struggling to find knowledgeable care for Breast Implant Illness, Dr. Pryor established the PryorHealth BII Centers of Excellence — a national model dedicated exclusively to safe explant surgery, advocacy, and recovery.
The Centers of Excellence reflect Dr. Pryor’s commitment to making specialized BII treatment more accessible. Each center combines board-certified surgical expertise, dedicated patient advocacy, and comprehensive wellness programs, creating a trusted environment for patients seeking answers and relief.
Since the launch of the Centers in Illinois, PryorHealth has expanded into Florida, broadening access for women across the country who often have few local options for BII-specific care. The Centers also collaborate with the University of Illinois Chicago Rockford campus to study inflammatory responses linked to implants — bridging the gap between lived experience and scientific understanding.
PryorHealth’s BII Initiative is about more than surgery — it’s about giving women validation after years of being dismissed. The team includes BII advocates and survivors Laura Bowden and Yvette Melby, who provide hands-on guidance and emotional support throughout the explant journey. Their personal experiences make them invaluable advocates for patients navigating the same uncertainty they once faced.
Empowering Women to Be Heard
Ultimately, Dr. Pryor hopes women understand one thing: their symptoms are real and deserve to be taken seriously. “You don’t have to accept unexplained fatigue, pain, or autoimmune-like issues as your new normal,” he says. “With the right care, advocacy, and treatment — including total capsulectomy — recovery is possible. You deserve to be believed and supported every step of the way.”
For thousands of women, that message of validation is life-changing. As BII awareness continues to grow, PryorHealth’s BII Centers of Excellence stand at the forefront — not only as hubs of advanced surgical expertise, but as beacons of empathy, advocacy, and healing for women reclaiming their health nationwide.
Meditation teacher Vinny Ferraro offers a practice to notice our relationship to thoughts: to see them clearly as they arise, gently note them, and return to the breath and body.
The nature of the mind is to make thoughts. All day long, mostly without our even noticing, the mind is generating thousands of thoughts. What is our relationship to thoughts? Not only does the mind have a mind of its own, but, literally, we can have thoughts about not having thoughts. All of this is completely independent of our own doing.
It’s very easy to villainize thought as some kind of enemy of practice. We get in our heads that if there were no thoughts we would be at peace, but even that’s just another thought.
It’s very easy to villainize thought as some kind of enemy of practice. We get in our heads that if there were no thoughts we would be at peace, but even that’s just another thought. So, we’ll be using a noting practice, where we practice seeing thoughts clearly as they arise, gently noting them, and returning to the breath and body. If there is no mindfulness of mind, we live in a world completely defined by our thoughts. Here, we let go of that orientation and just see things as they are. We still hear the internal talk, we still see the images, but we know them as phenomena. We see their impermanence.
If we look, we may see how often our thoughts include judgment, fear, grasping, or just arguing our point of view. When we see how compulsively these thoughts repeat themselves, we begin to understand the circular, repetitive nature of thought. So, this training in awareness is a training in wisdom.
A Meditation on Our Relationship to Thoughts
We can’t stop thoughts from arising but we can stop getting lost in them. Here we can see our views, our thoughts, our worries, as only one part of a much larger story. As we begin this session, feel your body and allow yourself to arrive. This is the practice of kind awareness. Allow the breathing to be natural, easy. See if there’s a sense of relief that you don’t have to make anything happen or stop happening.
Just simply note when thoughts arise. When you notice thoughts arise, gently note: “planning, planning,” or: “judging, judging.” We’re not noting things so that we can change them, we’re just turning toward this phenomenon and noticing thoughts that usually fly under the radar, just like the light little whisper. We don’t usually feel their impact; most of the time, we’re not even aware that they’re there and the next thing you know we’re carried off. So, we don’t want to be lost in the dream of our own mental activity.
Don’t “quiet” your thoughts. You don’t have to control thoughts or quiet them down; we just want to be aware of them as they arise, because any moment we’re aware of them, we’re not lost in them. You can think about it like we’re sitting in a movie theater, and there are images and voices projected on the screen of the mind, but we’re witnessing this phenomenon instead of being seduced by it. This frees up a lot of our awareness, when we don’t have to chase every thought, so we can see the well-worn patterns of the mind and begin to recognize some of the themes that we’re working with.
Note thoughts without empowering them. Note thoughts without indulging or empowering or needing to suppress or avoid them. This way, whatever arises is known and allowed to simply pass through. Thought bubbles are touched lightly, their content completely irrelevant—they are just another object.
Rest in your body. Here we are resting in the body, aware of sensation, watching thoughts come and go, and yet we remain. As things pass through the mind, be open and empty. This is a being, not a doing, so we don’t have any need to search for something to note. But as thoughts are known, gently note them. Lightly touching thoughts, not lost in content, not trying to figure it out, but resting in the witnessing of what is naturally unfolding. The practice is to keep noticing, not by bearing down on thoughts or drilling into them, but by resting in your intuitive awareness and opening up your field of attention to include thoughts. Thoughts are so prevalent, they are a worthy anchor for a meditation.
In the chronically-online world of 2025, it’s almost impossible to avoid the saturating presence of podcasters, pundits, and social-media influencers in the “manosphere”—people who promise men admiration, health, and success, but who often have ideas of masculinity that leave men feeling even more wounded and isolated. Jon Macaskill and Will Schneider from Men Talking Mindfulness are devoting themselves to reaching men where they are, in their struggle, confusion, and longing for a life of meaning and connection. In this wide-ranging conversation with former Mindful editor Amber Tucker, Macaskill and Schneider offer a perspective on what mindfulness for men can provide in a world that needs authentic men more than ever. And they share a vision of what it is to be a man that’s less about the performance of manliness and more about being genuinely resilient, wise, and connected.
Two Paths to Discovering Mindfulness
Amber: I would love to start by asking about each of your paths to mindfulness. Jon, I know that you’re a retired US Navy SEAL Commander, and Will came from being a yoga teacher and a coach—two paths that a lot of people wouldn’t see as meshing naturally together. How did you personally discover mindfulness, and what did it take to integrate mindfulness into your lives?
Jon: My path to mindfulness, and I think Will and I have this in common, is that it kind of came out of necessity. I had struggled with some anxiety, with survivor’s guilt, depression, and then over and above that, as a SEAL, you’re trained to push through pain—I would love to say ignore stress, but I think sometimes we even bring stress onto ourselves and then just keep going.
But eventually, you know, that approach broke me. I wasn’t able to handle it anymore, physically, mentally, and emotionally. When I got to a point where all that was at a height—where I was struggling with the post-traumatic stress and sleepless nights—I had mindfulness introduced to me by a counselor. I first laughed at him because I thought that, being a special operator, I didn’t need mindfulness and meditation. He kind of flipped the script on me and he said, “Well, what if I had a pill that I could give to you that would change your performance?” As special operators, we’re always looking for something that’s going to improve our performance. And as you could guess, that pill wasn’t a pill at all. It was mindfulness and meditation.
So, because it was sold to me as a “performance enhancement,” then I tried it. And long story short, I tried for several months, and it did help me to handle the stress and anxiety better. I got that performance improvement that he had promised me, but I also was able to manage stress. At first I didn’t trust it, but it gave me a real shot at not just slowing down, but also being present. What I had perceived as a kind of weakness, practicing mindfulness and meditation, wasn’t that at all. It was a strength, and it gave me these tools to face what I’d been avoiding. It gave me the tools to regulate my emotions better. I wouldn’t say that I’m an expert on regulating my emotions, but I’m better. And then to reconnect: reconnect with my family, reconnect with friends. I think most importantly, the ability to truly connect with my authentic self.
To integrate that into my life, it took some discipline to do consistently. It’s easy to do mindfulness or to be mindful and practice meditation once or twice and then maybe a couple of days in a row and then drop off. But by staying consistent, making it a daily practice, it’s changed how I lead, how I father, and ultimately how I live.
Will: I really found meditation first, even before yoga, back around 2006. I was at a point in my life where I just moved to New York City, and I was pursuing life as an actor here in the city: auditioning, training, doing a lot of theater, I started doing television. I just wanted to be more present, and I also needed to manage the anxiety that comes with performance. I started with Transcendental Meditation (TM) and it started to help. Honestly, it was challenging to sit and meditate twice a day for 20 minutes with the TM on my own, not having a group that I’m meditating with, or not having the online opportunities like we do nowadays. It was very frustrating in the beginning. I’m having all these different experiences, my mind just keeps wandering, and I don’t feel like I’m doing anything. Then about a year and a half later, after the sputtering starts with trying to work with meditation, then I really became more consistent. It helped when I found yoga around the same time, especially yoga asana practice. There was this whole mindful movement inside of me, trying to take care of my mind. At the same time, I was taking care of my body. It felt like, This is my practice. It’s been an incredible benefit to me. It still is, every day that I practice. Now I’ve been with the [Men Talking Mindfulness] show, and the work that I do with coaching, and I incorporate all of these skills into what I’m teaching here now.
Starting the Men Talking Mindfulness Podcast
Amber: Let’s talk about Men Talking Mindfulness, the podcast that you co-host. It’s described as tackling difficult subjects like loneliness, trauma, addiction, the unhealthy elements of masculinity. Could you talk a little bit about some of the most transformative conversations that you’ve had? How have your guests or listeners highlighted the power of mindfulness and addressing those kinds of challenges?
Will: We’ve really “attacked” mindfulness from so many different angles! And with Jon and I both being practitioners, we have a lot of great authors that come on the show. The whole show has impacted my life, because I’m a student first—the expert, if you will, of mindfulness who’s always learning. For me, some of the ones that really stick out were No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover. Reading his book and seeing what the whole “nice guy” thing is, and then deconstructing why this whole nice-guy approach to life is not the way to fully embrace all the power of your masculinity, was really profound for me.
And then we had Jon Eldredge on the show, New York Times bestseller. I loved his book, Wild at Heart. That conversation with him included understanding the three core principles that live in the soul of masculinity: always having a sense of adventure, having that relationship in your life, and having a battle to fight, having your mission. I just came back from a two-week trip to Peru, which is quite an adventure. I’m still working on the relationship part, but I definitely have the other two pretty synced up. I keep all the books that I’ve read for the show! One after the other of our guests have just been so helpful. A lot of them come back to the core principles of mindfulness, being present, allowing that presence to light up your biology, and the good biology that we have that really makes us, like, these wonderful human beings that we can be if we let go of the stress and anxiety.
Jon: One conversation that’s jumping to mind right now is our conversation with the two Eds, Dr. Ed Adams and Ed Frauenheim. They co-wrote Reinventing Masculinity, where they challenged the idea that men have to fit into this rigid mold that you’re either tough or you’re not a man. That stood out to me, and it struck a chord with our audience because we heard from men who said things like, “I thought I was broken because I didn’t fit the stereotype,” or “Now I realize there’s strength in being authentic and being who I am.”
We also had Jocko Willink on, fellow retired Navy SEAL. There were a couple of powerful moments in that talk about balancing intensity and presence. There’s a lot of people who think you can’t be intense and present simultaneously, and how mindfulness can actually make you a stronger leader. We’ve had Dr. Mark Gordon on. And Mark shared about all these different kinds of groundbreaking insights on the brain-body connection. He’s a neuroendocrinologist. We’ve had Dr. Rob Kelly come on three times. And he’s talked about purpose and recovering from addiction. We’ve had multi-time Olympic champion, Apolo Ono, come on to reflect about how mindfulness shaped his Olympic career and then his transition afterward. We just had Dan Millman on to explain The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, his book.
We’ve even had Congressman Tim Ryan on to talk about bringing mindfulness into politics. We’ve had Steven Kotler on to share how flow science connects directly to performance and presence, and how that is all underpinned by mindfulness. So sorry, a lot of name drop in there, but like Will said, this show has changed the lives of many of our audience, but it’s also changed our lives. We have learned so much about mindfulness, how it’s tied into leadership, how it’s tied into wealth, how it is tied into health, how it is tied into just about everything that we do and it’s changed us for the better. It’s my spiel.
Will: Yeah, we’re like the little guinea pigs for the show. We just try stuff on, talk about it. So it’s been quite fun to be the students and the teachers in what we’ve created.
Where to Start If You’re Curious About Mindfulness
Amber: That’s incredible. Thank you so much for both sharing some of the breadth of different voices and backgrounds and areas of expertise that you have on the podcast. Definitely many familiar names there for the Mindful reading audience, and also a lot of new names. So I think that’s pretty exciting. You were just touching on… what listeners have shared with you about how the podcast has helped them to discover mindfulness—maybe support for the first time, start to build a daily practice, strengthen relationships, even help to save marriages and a lot of other results that I’m sure you’ve heard from people. I wonder: Why do you think the practice of mindfulness is resonating so strongly with so many men, particularly in this moment in time?
Jon: I’ll go on that one first, Will, if you’re cool with that. What I find interesting is that mindfulness, if you really go back in history, it resonated with men. We had the monks who brought it into the world in multiple different ways, but we also had warriors, these warriors that men today read about.
We read about the Spartans, we read about samurai, and in some way they practiced meditation before they went on the battlefield so that they could be present, so that they could be calm. Rather than bumping chests and smelling these smelling salts before they went out, they calmed themselves down.
I think men are realizing that this playbook of suck it up or man up, it doesn’t work anymore. And men are realizing that we can show vulnerability and authenticity because suck it up or man up leads to broken marriages. It leads to mental health problems or challenges, and it leaves a lot of men suffering in silence.
I think mindfulness resonates because it doesn’t ask you to give up toughness. A lot of people think that if you practice mindfulness, that you’re giving up toughness, and you don’t. I think it truly helps you to redefine what toughness looks like. It takes real strength to be present, to feel your emotions and to regulate those emotions. I don’t want to “control them,” but regulate them. And then it also takes real strength and courage to face your challenges without numbing out, without alcohol, without drugs. If you continually numb these challenges, then you’re not going to come out of them. And that’s why I think guys like the names that I mentioned before, like Jaco, Olympians like Apollo, these big-time thought leaders like Steven Kotler, and then congressmen like Tim Ryan—I think that’s what they’re finding value in this right now.
Will: I think the world is just experiencing a level of chaos that it’s not used to, because what I’m seeing, I’m sure we’re all feeling it, is because of the infiltration of technology in our lives, like everywhere, with social media, with the rate of messaging that you get through, whether it’s text or email or Instagram or whatever platform you’re on, it’s just like message, message, and message. There seems to be a greater demand for our attention in so many different places.
Mindfulness is this natural balance that’s coming into society, because everything has its opposite. If chaos is happening, then what’s the equalizer? I feel for human beings, a lot of it is mindfulness. How do we become not so easily triggered? How do we manage our feelings? And mindfulness is helping us to do that.
I think also for men in particular, the way that we’ve worked traditionally since the industrial revolution has changed dramatically, as well. It requires a whole other set of skills that we didn’t need to activate if we were just doing a regular nine-to-five in the factory. Also the roles in the family have changed. The family dynamics have changed. We have two working parents very often, and what does that require? That requires a lot more communication. How are we communicating? Mindfulness for men is helping men to understand themselves on a more deep emotional level. So they’re not a slave to their emotions, not so easily frustrated or anxious or stressed out, and really being more effective in whatever environment they’re in, whether it’s the family, whether it is work, whether it was with their kids, whether it is some sort of community event. So mindfulness is helping the world in so many ways, but men for sure, because these are skills that were not taught in school. I mean, some of them are now, but nobody over 20 years old or 25 has really been taught these skills in school, and people are looking for this place to learn these tools. That’s one thing that we’re doing, and it’s one thing that all the mindfulness teachers out there are doing—helping people to integrate these tools in their lives so they can deal with this new society that we’re in.
Amber: I really appreciate both of you speaking to that, especially with the predominance of tools like mindfulness and meditation seeming to be marketed toward women in this day and age. It’s good to have a reminder that that hasn’t always been the case. And actually mindfulness is a tool that’s for everybody, regardless of how we’ve been trained, our gender, or anything like that. It can benefit all of us.
Jon: I just want to jump in just with one thing. I’m glad you said that piece. Because the guests that we mentioned are all men. I think every single one of them that we’ve mentioned were all men and even more specifically, white men. We also have had a lot of women and folks of color on. Theresa Larson is a good friend of ours. We’ve had her on to talk about being a mindful mother, which doesn’t sound like something that would go on a men’s show, but we need men to understand what a mother is going through. We’ve had Ali and Atman Smith and Andrés González from the Holistic Life Foundation. We’ve had Uma Naidu to come on and talk about mindful eating. She’s a nutritionist. So I do want to make sure that we capture that the show is a men’s show, but we have a lot of women listeners, and we have a lot of women guests, as well.
Amber: Yeah, thank you for that. You’ve had Amishi Jha as well, I think, right?
Will: Oh, yeah. They spoke so clearly, and it’s awesome to have such a decorated general, like really being a huge advocate for mindfulness, because it affects anything you do, regardless of what you’re trying to do with it, it has an incredible impact. And I’m glad more and more people are waking up to this.
Many Different Ways to Approach Mindfulness for Men
Amber: Yeah, bringing it into these contexts like the military where people both really need it for performance, and also just for mental health and all the other good things that mindfulness can help with. You’ve had a wide range of very influential guests, best-selling authors, Olympians, huge business leaders, politicians, many other people. And how do you think that these diverse voices are contributing to your mission of changing the narrative around masculinity and mental health for men? Some of the people that you talked with on your show may not be mindfulness teachers as such, but they’re still promoting knowledge and perspectives that could fit under the umbrella of mindfulness. Is that an accurate way of characterizing them?
Will: Yeah, I think the way we’ve approached the show is that there are so many different angles you can approach mindfulness. We bring on experts to help us solve a particular problem, or give us some insight into something, or to bring awareness to something that can be beneficial in our lives.
From the masculinity point of view, we’re taught by our fathers, our coaches, our uncles, our brothers, just to be tough. But the 21st century is demanding greater skills, and really that big skill is being more emotionally intelligent. So we’re trying to open that conversation and show how incredibly powerful it is when you become more aware of that whole, your mind, your emotions and your actions, how you can really start to change things. It just takes a little bit of practice. The goal for us is just for men to have happier, healthier, more peaceful lives because of what they’re learning from our show.
Jon: Yeah, and I’ll add to that in…we’ve got this swath of different guests coming to talk about different approaches. I think men often look at these guys, or maybe they look at me and Will and other men that they look up to, and they say, This guy has it all together. What’s wrong with me? And then they hear these high achievers admit that they struggle, too. It normalizes the conversation, shows that mindfulness is for everyone. No matter your background, no matter your definition of success, we’re all human beings and we all have struggles. And no matter what your struggle is, mindfulness is not necessarily going to relieve that struggle, but it’s going to help in managing it.
Will: I mean, one of the principles of compassion is common humanity. We create a space for common humanity so people can connect to other human beings that have been struggling, as well. One thing I’ve seen with all the great leaders we’ve had on the show is that in order to access that greatness, vulnerability and authenticity are essential. You have to take a true inventory of yourself in order to access and unleash that next level of greatness.
What’s Ahead?
Amber: If we look ahead, what do you hope that the long-term impact of Men Talking Mindfulness will be?
Jon: My hope that we help to shift the culture so people see vulnerability, presence, and compassion as strengths, not weaknesses. Let’s say in 10 years, more people are teaching their kids mindfulness. More leaders are leading with that emotional intelligence. Maybe companies are hiring more people based on their emotional intelligence and not just their resume. And then fewer people are suffering in silence. Then I feel that we’ve done our job. Every person who listens and changes, even in a small way, impacts their family, their workplace, their community. Over time, those ripples add up to maybe changing a society, maybe changing the nation, changing the world.
Will: I don’t have much more to say than what Jon has said. It’s exciting to see the impact we’re already having. If we’re able to have this kind of ubiquitous impact with the men that are plugging in now, it’s exciting to see where it can go. It’s just a matter of amplifying this platform and sharing our platform for other people to plug in. We’re just still holding space for people to travel through, get what they need and go out there and be more mindful and live more compassionately and be better leaders and be responsible for how they’re showing up in the world. I see my relationships in my immediate family and my immediate friends changing. I think we have something to do with that, it’s nice to see that impact.
Amber: Well, I think if you’re actually starting to change minds and lives within your circles and your family, that’s almost as big as changing the world, really. In my view, that’s deep change. Those are people who wouldn’t fake changing in front of you.
Will: Yeah, that’s true.
Amber: I think it’s really powerful and really valuable how much you’ve grown what you’re doing and all the people that you’re reaching. So thank you for all the work that you do. I’d love to finish off on a note of helping maybe a few more people, a few more men to discover mindfulness. When you’re talking with other men who might be new to mindfulness, might wanna give it a try, is there a number one practice that you have, like a type of practice or an exercise that you recommend just to give them a first taste of what that feels like and help them get started?
Will: Yeah, we’ve been leading this meditation course through Men Talking Mindfulness for the last year and a half. We’re actually gonna launch a new course coming soon. What we’ve seen from all the stuff that we studied from men is the first thing that you can really do to help or have a significant impact on your life is finding your breath and slowing down your breath and getting to know your breath. I cannot believe the incredible impact in just a few weeks of getting to know your breath and working with your breath a little bit through different breathing practices. The light bulbs start going off, because when you get calm and you begin to use your breath as a tool to get calm, you start to see: Oh my God, that’s anxiety. Why do I have so many expectations? Oh my God, I’m a perfectionist. The whole world starts to change.
We talk about the biological impacts all the time about mindfulness, but getting to calm drops us into who we are, our biology, the moment, and then we can start to find a new path forward. And it’s simple and it’s free, and you can do it all the time in as little as 30 seconds or a minute, or you can do it for an hour.
Jon: I would add on with the breath—absolutely fully believe that’s a great place to start—but I will say, with his yoga classes, and men will come in there and they want to be perfect on day one. And I think a lot of men do the same thing with meditation. I did the same. You have to start simple. One of the biggest mistakes men make is thinking that they need to meditate for an hour a day on day one, or have some perfect setup, right? But taking just five slow conscious breaths, like Will said, whenever you feel stressed out or overwhelmed, that can help you to get to calm. That alone can shift your nervous system from that fight-or-flight into that calm and clarity. Then from there, you can explore longer, more in-depth meditations. And we’ve shared some of those on our show. We have some on our YouTube channel. But start small and then stay consistent. It’s very much like the gym. If you go into the gym, and you crush a two-hour workout and then you don’t work out again for two weeks, that two-hours workout was for naught. If you sit down and meditate and you meditate for an hour and then don’t meditate again for weeks, that meditation was for naught. You stay dedicated and you do 10 minutes, even five minutes a day. You stay consistent with it. You’re gonna get more from that. So I say start small, start simple, and then stay consistent.
Will: We talk about change and transformation, and the C word comes up every single time. Every guest says: Be consistent. Pick one thing. And repeat that thing for weeks. Get the confidence and the courage. It’s been a lot of fun to be able to do that and be able do it effectively and see lives transform.
The MTM Origin Story + Final Thoughts
Amber: Is there anything else that you wanted to say or just briefly talk about that I didn’t mention before we close things up here?
Will: I think to help anybody that’s like reading this article and wants to start somewhere or has been mindfulness-curious for a while, or maybe they’ve tried and dabbled and struggled. I want to say: Get around other people that are doing it or join a group. That group energy around mindfulness is very powerful and very encouraging and you’re more likely to show up. Again, that common humanity is very helpful for people because you don’t feel so alone. You don’t feel stupid or unaccomplished or unsuccessful. You’re like, Oh, well, you’re struggling with that, too. Okay, this is just how it is sometimes. So I think that’s one thing I think people should know as they go on this adventure.
Jon: I’ll throw in there just kind of the origin story of the show. We have a mutual friend, a military member who introduced us to one another. He heard that I was into the mindfulness space, and he had just done a retreat with Will. What was it done in Peru, Will? I don’t know.
Will: No, I was in Bermuda, his name is Scott Tucker. We got to give a little shout out to Scott Tucker but yeah, we’re in Bremuda, but go ahead, Jon.
Jon: Okay, so Scott had just finished this retreat in Bermuda, comes back, he’s like, Hey, you’ve got to meet this guy Will, introduces us. I’m going through my military transition, so I’m getting introduced to a whole lot of people in different industries. Scott introduces me to Will, and I have a phone call with him and at the end of the conversation, Will says, Okay, well, when are we going to talk next? And every time we spoke, Will would say, Hey, when are we going to talk next? So we were having these phone calls once a month about mindfulness and meditation, talking about our revelations, our challenges, new practices that we’ve found, whatever, and then COVID hit. I was watching Will on Instagram, and because Will is a yoga instructor, a lot of his work had to go virtual. So I reached out to Will, I was like, Hey, man, what if we started a meditation and mindfulness Instagram Live where we basically just have those same phone calls that we were having, but we have them on Instagram Live? So we tried it, and we had like, six people tune in for the first few shows. Then we figured out how to rip the Instagram Live audio off and create the podcast. We thought maybe we’d get more listeners as a podcast. So if your readers go back and listen to some of our first shows, you will hear that the audio is way worse. Now we record with professional mics and headphones and somewhat of a studio. Our rooms are set up like studios, but it started really rough. It started as an idea that spawned from COVID essentially and has been going on for five years since then. It’s gone through multiple iterations of different audio software and producers and different video software. But we’ve come a long way, and in and of itself, the show is a mindfulness practice. We pay attention to changes. So that’s a quick down and dirty dump of our origin story, if you will, if you want it to include the story at all.
Amber: Thank you for filling in that gap, Jon. I think there were thousands of podcasts born during the pandemic, and you’re one of the ones that has survived, and I’m sure that all of the mindfulness that goes into it is a big factor in that.
Will: Yeah, and I think it’s also one thing that’s really helped us keep the torch lit is us working together. I don’t know if this would be tough to do alone, because it’s a long haul to get where we are. Jon and I inspire each other, keep each other in the arena. Now we are five years later having a broader impact. We have a team that’s helping us to grow, as well. So it’s just awesome to see where it is today.
Jon: According to Feed Spot, which is a ranking of types of podcasts in the category of mindfulness for 2025, we were ranked number three in the world by iHeartRadio. We were listed as one of the top 10 mindfulness podcasts in the country. And then globally, we are in the top 1.5% of podcasts worldwide. So pretty proud of that. We’ve come a long way, and we haven’t arrived. We’re gonna continue to press.
Will: Yeah, thank you so much, for real. It’s a big help to get this out there.
Amber: Thank you both. It’s been so wonderful to collaborate, wherever we can over the last couple of years. I’ve really enjoyed it and appreciated it when we get to do things together. I can’t wait to see what’s next for each of you and for Men Talking Mindfulness.
This marble-painting activity activates all the senses and lets you enjoy a mindful moment while making art with your little ones.
Mindfulness isn’t just about stillness—it can be a playful, swirling, and colorful experience. Mindful marble art transforms a simple creative activity into a sensory-rich moment of presence, helping children slow down, focus, and express themselves.
Through gentle movement, breath awareness, and sensory exploration, this practice fosters patience, emotional regulation, and creativity—all while making art! See what it can look like. The sensation of rolling marbles, the vibrant blending of colors, and the rhythmic tilting of the tray help little ones engage their senses and cultivate mindful awareness.
Benefits of Making Mindful Marble Art
Encourages patience: Children practice slowing down and guiding movement with care.
Engages the senses: Touch, sight, and motion deepen awareness of the present moment.
Strengthens breath-body connection: Pairing breath with movement supports self-regulation.
Fosters creativity & self-expression: Encourages open-ended exploration and focus.
What You’ll Need
A shallow tray or box (a baking pan or shoebox lid works well)
A sheet of paper (cut to fit inside the tray)
Non-toxic, washable paint in 2-3 colors
Marbles or small rolling objects (ping pong balls, beads, or crumpled foil work too!)
A damp cloth or wipes for easy cleanup
How to Do Mindful Marble Art
1. Set the Space
Begin by creating a calm and inviting atmosphere. Place materials in front of you and your child. Before starting, take a deep breath together:
Breathe in slowly through your nose (as if smelling a flower).
Exhale gently through your mouth (as if blowing out a candle).
Repeat this breath 2-3 times.
Ask your child, “How do you feel right now?”
2. Sensory Preparation
Invite your child to explore the marbles before painting:
What do they feel like? Smooth? Cool? Round?
Can you roll them between your fingers without dropping them?
Dip a marble into the paint and ask:
What does the paint feel like? Sticky? Slippery? Gooey?
What colors do you see? Are they mixing together?
3. Rolling with Awareness
Place the marbles onto the paper in the tray. Guide your child to hold the edges, feeling its weight.
