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Tuesday, June 25, 2024

We’ve Seen About 10 Minutes of Deadpool & Wolverine

There’s exactly one Marvel Studios movie coming to theaters this year, but it’s one of the biggest to date. Deadpool & Wolverine is scheduled for release on July 26 and it won’t only be the first MCU film for Ryan Reynolds’ wisecracking killer, but also the MCU debut of Wolverine, played by Hugh Jackman.

That alone already has fans excited and the number of people who watched the first trailer proved it again. Continuing the fun, Disney debuted new footage at CinemaCon 2024, and here’s what happened.

Wade Wilson grabs a staple gun, uses it to put on his wig, and says “Now let’s sell some certified pre-owned vehicles, motherfucker.” Smash cut to Wade in the back seat of a car with a family on a test drive. They ask him some questions but he keeps cursing and mentions he doesn’t have kids because he doesn’t have much vaginal sex. He’s bad at this.

Peter (Rob Delaney) apparently works there too and they talk in the locker room about how Wade may be a bad salesperson, but he can always go back to being a superhero. Wade explains that he’s done for good. This is the life he wants and if you “aim for the middle, you’ll never miss.” Peter shows him that he keeps an old Deadpool suit in his locker anyway.

Wade and Peter ride bikes home from work and Wade notices someone taking photos of them. The conversation continues about wanting to be superheroes again and Peter asks Wade if he’s just sad because it’s his birthday. He also mentions a very interesting piercing he’s just gotten.

Yes, it’s Wade’s birthday. He goes into his apartment and it’s a surprise party. There are all his friends from the first two movies: Negasonic, Colossus, Dopinder, Blind Al, and others. Wade goes around the room and catches up with everyone. One highlight of this is Wade and Al going back and forth with a ton of insults. She asks him if he wants to do some cocaine and he says that’s the one thing Kevin Feige said was off the table. She rattles off a bunch of different fake names and he says Feige knows them all. Finally she says, “Do you want to build a snowman?” To which he says, yes but I can’t.

Vanessa is also there and they are no longer together. She’s seeing someone from work though, and Wade is happy for her, though he’s not seeing anyone.

The group sings “Happy Birthday” and then Wade gives a heartfelt speech about how much he loves everyone in this room. He says that despite some tough years, he’s truly happy now because of them. He then goes on to blow out the candles… and the second he does, there’s a knock at the door.

You’ve seen some of this in the trailer. It’s the TVA. Wade assumes they’re a group of men who are there to have sex with him and he gets very dirty about what he wants them to do with all his holes. They then get fed up, knock him out, and put him through one of those TVA doors.

In the TVA, Mr. Paradox (Matthew McFayden) tells Wade that a) he soiled himself, and b) what the TVA does. “That’s a shit ton of exposition for a threequel,” Wade says. Mr. Paradox tells him he knows that Wade has been abusive of the timeline previously, with Cable’s time travel device, but that’s not why he’s there.

Apparently Wade has been chosen for a higher purpose. One that’s even unclear to the TVA. He needs to save the sacred timeline from a grisly fate at some point in the future. The two guys joke that it needs to be “Avenged.” That they’re going to “Marvel” at how “Cinematic” is. Wade says he wants it all, cameos, variants, the works.

They turn to the screen and on it is Steve Rogers as Captain America. Wade knows him and salutes the screen. “You’re no longer lost,” Mr. Paradox says, “You can now be a hero.” At this point, Wade notices a screen where Thor is holding a dying Deadpool and crying. “Why is Thor crying?” he asks. Wade isn’t supposed to see that though; that’s something that happens in the distant future.

Wade is all in and says he will return and help. He then turns to the camera, runs toward it, grabs it, shakes it and says “Suck it Fox! I’m going to Disneyland!” He also fellates the boom microphone a bit.

“Oh, there’s one more thing I need,” Wade says. It’s a costume. A TVA tailor makes him a brand new upgraded Deadpool costume, which comes together in a quick series of fast edits… which include more than a few of the tailor grabbing Wade’s crotch.

Wade loves the new costume, even if he has to tell them the tailor is a predator. He also mentions that his samurai swords are made out of adamantium. He jokes around that one of the TVA employees is eyeing him up and his underwear is getting tighter. The employee picks up the phone to call HR.

That leads into a montage of action scenes largely from the first trailer. Dog Pool running in slow motion. Lots of shooting. Wade in the back seat of a bloody car. And then, finally, we see him and Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine sitting together in a car.

“What’s with the suit?” Wade asks. “Do the X-Men make you wear it?” He comments he looks like he fights crime for the Los Angeles Rams, but Wolverine isn’t having it. “I’m just trying to bond a bit,” he says.

Directed by Shawn Levy, Deadpool & Wolverine stars Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman. It opens July 26.

Update: the headline on the original post was updated to more accurately describe the length of the footage.

Want more io9 news? Check out when to expect the latest Marvel, Star Wars, and Star Trek releases, what’s next for the DC Universe on film and TV, and everything you need to know about the future of Doctor Who.

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