Openly sharing our personal mental health floors can help others know they’re not alone, extremely when it’s a rarely-discussed or taboo subject. In today’s Not Crazy podcast, our guest Rachel Steinman, a podcaster, scribe and mental health advocate, discusses what it’s like to host a podcast where she shares her family’s mental health confidentials.
By talking openly about her family’s four suicides, mental illness, substance abuse, kinfolk affairs, and more, Rachel is changing the narrative and replacing it with love, pity, and understanding.
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Guest Information for’ Rachel Steinman- Value Mental Illness Stories’ Podcast Episode
Rachel Steinman is a Los Angeles native who received her Masters in Education and has taught every elementary school grade, K-6. She’s even been the school librarian, a chore she adored. Rachel never set out to become a writer, a podcaster, or a mental health advocate but that is exactly what she proudly announces herself after detecting her beloved grandfather’s unfinished memoir 24 times after he jumped from his high rise. Rachel is sharing her family’s story to purge the reproach and stigma that come with family secrets and contemporaries of mental illness. By talking honestly about her family’s narratives of four suicides, bipolar, hollow, substance abuse, household liaisons, and more, she’s changing the narrative and replacing it with love, pity, and comprehension. She’s likewise trimming generational damage so she doesn’t pass it onto her prized daughters and to provoke others to share their floors openly.
Rachel is a lead presenter for NAMI speaking about objective the silence to discuss mental health warning signs and present resources and hope to middle and high schoolers as well as their parents. Rachel hosts and renders the Dear Family Podcast celebrating our complicated households and overcoming obstacles to find mental wellness. She lives in Studio City with her husband of 20 times, two beautiful, shining, and melodic youthful daughters, and her adorable recovery puppy.
About The Not Crazy Podcast Hosts
Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and loudspeaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular work, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Statements, available from Amazon; indicated forgeries are also available directly from Gabe Howard . To learn more, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.
Lisa is the producer of the Psych Central podcast, Not Crazy. She is the recipient of The National Alliance on Mental Illness’s “Above and Beyond” award, has worked extensively with the Ohio Peer Supporter Certification program, and is a workplace suicide prevention trainer. Lisa has combated dimple her entire life and has worked alongside Gabe in mental health advocacy for over a decade. She lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband; experiences international cros; and seeks 12 pairs of shoes online, pickings the right one, and mails the other 11 back.
Computer Generated Transcript for’ Rachel Steinman- Value Mental Illness Stories’ Episode
Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer engendered and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar missteps. Thank you.
Lisa: You’re listening to Not Crazy, a psych central podcast hosted by my ex-husband, who has bipolar disorder. Together, we created the mental health podcast for people who hate mental health podcasts.
Gabe: Welcome, everyone. You’re listening to the Not Crazy podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I’m your multitude. And with me, as ever, is Lisa Kiner. Lisa.
Lisa: Hey, everyone, today’s excerpt comes to us from Ryunosuke Satoro, and he said, independently, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.
Gabe: I like paraphrases like this for so many grounds, but there’s lots of excerpts like this, right? You know, just like.
Lisa: It alters neatly into a poster.
Gabe: Yeah, yeah, we do have the kitten doing the hang in there thing.
Lisa: I adoration that one. That’s my favorite.
Gabe: But isn’t it so overdo?
Lisa: Yeah, but it’s a kitten.
Gabe: But isn’t like the stronger together thing exaggerate as well.
Lisa: Together, everyone achieves more.
Gabe: Together, everyone does achieve more, and what constructs me sad is not the glurge-y nature of the mentions or the clarity of it or simply the ughhhh of it. It’s the facts of the case that we don’t know this. Like, do “weve been” need a poster or a quote to tell us this. Is this not just like basic common sense? Like why don’t we have a quote that says, hey, if you nurse your breath, you’ll die?
Lisa: Good point, I never actually considered that, why do we have all these repeats and the answer is because, yes, parties does in fact need it.
Gabe: We too need a sit for kittens hanging off substance to get work.
Lisa: Good point. Otherwise, what activities are they genuinely are eligible for?
Gabe: They could just be our little cuddlies. I don’t
Lisa: Good idea.
Gabe: I don’t know why.
Lisa: Good idea. Yeah, that’s awesome.
Gabe: I think it’s a good notion. You know, Lisa, we get forward. We get forward, explains time.
Lisa: And we relish all of it.
Gabe: We do. Thank you, everybody. And one of the things that continues coming up is they ask us why our guests never share personal narrations. And in fact, they invoked us saying, hey, we don’t have guests on to share personal narratives. We’d rather debate a subject or discuss something or share their point of view. And the question precisely came up, so are you saying that personal storeys are bad or are they stupid? Do you not like them? And first, I want to say unequivocally, if I couldn’t share my personal story, I would not have a podcast.
Lisa: Good point, you’re sharing your story incessantly, it’s a job description.
Gabe: So there’s this little section of me that considers, hey, we offset the decision because I don’t want the contender. That is not, in fact why I performed government decisions. The actuality is personal tales are extremely valuable. And I help all of you to share. They’re just so well represented in the opening. But you know what’s not well represented in the seat? The opinions of people living with mental health issues and mental illness. I want to tell people what I require. I don’t want to tell them my tale and to be expected that on the strength of my floor, they get it. You should not treat me like crap. Why not? Because I am person or persons and deserving of respect. Rather than you should not treat me like shit. Why not? Hang on. Let me tell you a tale of when mortal plowed me like turd and it manufactured me feel bad. We wanted to get into why we developed these beliefs and how we want the world countries to follow us.
Lisa: So, you don’t want people to have to extrapolate what you signify, you want to just tell them.
Gabe: Oh, yeah, that’s a much faster way of saying that.
Lisa: Yeah, well, if it were up to me, it’d be a lot shorter show.
Gabe: So, listen, I decided that we would invite our good friend Rachel Steinman over to discuss the power of storytelling. Rachel is the host of the Dear Family podcast. She’s an astonishing mental health advocate and she knows a lot about getting parties to share their narratives and, of course, the value of that. So, Rachel, welcome to the show.
Lisa: So nice to have you here.
Rachel: Thank you. I’m thrilled to be here.
Gabe: As I already mentioned, you are the host of the Dear Family podcast, can you briefly tell our listeners what that is?
Rachel: Sure, it is a podcast where we celebrate our complicated class. We find mental wellness, and I interview inspirational people who have overcome obstacles and we talk a lot about family members that have mental illness or beings that have mental illness and how they’ve overcome it or how they’re dealing with it. And we also talk about pedigree secrets and the importance of really sharing narrations and having open dialog to rid stigma and disgrace and find love and compassion and understanding.
Gabe: And, Rachel, that’s exactly why we wanted to have you on the display. We’re all mental health advocates and in this case we’re all podcasters, which is kind of rare for us. It’s a distinct existence, right, Lisa? We don’t have a lot of podcasters on our podcast.
Lisa: Yeah. Oh, so meta,
Gabe: I just wanted to set you up to use meta.
Lisa: I know. I have to use that at least once an episode.
Gabe: But, Rachel, we’re all mental health advocates, but we go about it very differently. Lisa and I conclude very strongly in beings with lived experience, sort of viewing the world and carrying it for people who haven’t been there. And you believe very strongly in parties sharing their tales and talking about what happened to them. And what I really like about your podcast is you really, actually dig deep. It’s not fluff. It’s like you said, it’s no secrets. You dig into the family. There’s just a lot of debate about which one is right. And I kind of think it’s a stupid debate because I think they’re both claim.
Rachel: Well, I unquestionably appreciate your scaffold and I can see why it’s so important, but I’m coming at it from a daughter whose baby has bipolar, whose grandparents both died by suicide, whose brother was addicted to crystal meth and purposed up homeless. And all these years of shame and no one genuinely talking about mental illness. I wanted to change that narrative. I wanted to openly talk about it because I don’t want to pass this on to my daughters. I don’t want that generational pain continuing. If we don’t talk about it, then that reproach may continue or they may not feel comfortable speaking out. This is something that all started when I started writing and I wrote an paper called Grandpa and Anthony Bourdain, and it was after Anthony Bourdain made “peoples lives” by suicide. And I talked about my family and so many beings, private sends or publicly is out of the woodwork that I had known from high school and on and said I had no idea that you had that household. You disguised it so well, I have something similar, or my mama or my brother or my husband or myself. And I realized literally everyone has a family member dealing with the mental health issue or they themselves are dealing with it. And let’s talk about it.
Lisa: How specifically do you feel that telling these legends of other folks living with mental illness is helping people who do not live with mental illness?
Rachel: I think it’s hugely helpful. I have heard and I enjoy hearing this and I’m sure you hear this, that it really helps others find compassion for those that are suffering and maybe even find compassion for themselves. And that there’s no shame in asking for help or trying care or talking about it. The more we talk about it, the more others talk about it. Right. Truth begets more truth. And my mama has bipolar. She was not diagnosed until her mid 60 s. And for all those years, I was ashamed of my mom. I was mortified by her quirks and her profanity and her waver moods. And now that I understand that it genuinely is a mental health disorder and it affects her psyche, I have so much more compassion. And it’s made my mummy and I so much closer.
Lisa: And then how does your mama feel about that, how does she am thinking about you telling her narrative? Is she OK with that?
Rachel: Well, at first, she was not at first, actually, when I started writing essays, because that’s how it began. “Shes not” thrilled about it. She too met things differently. And I feel at one point it pushed her into a manic bout, which did not facilitate. And then I felt guilty and there was emphatically some strain because of course, now I am sharing her floor publicly. Is it really fair for me to do that? Maybe not, to be honest. But then after my mom started see them and realizing that there was value in sharing the tale, she actually came to me and I’m so grateful. And she “ve given me” her support and she said, you’re doing what I choose I could have done. If our tale can help one person, then you have my commendation. And I have to say what a beautiful endowment.
Lisa: How long would you say that took between the time when you started and when your mama came around?
Rachel: Not too long, I would say about a year, and I required my mama to be my first podcast client because my podcast’s called Dear Family, and she said absolutely not. I don’t like my articulate. I’m not interesting, all of these forgives. But I didn’t push it. And I intention up having my brother, but my mom intent up being my fiftieth bout. And it was so special. She was so open. She’s come so far. So in a manner that is, I make me having this stage drew her recognise the importance of her articulate and the importance of sharing her story.
Gabe: Thank you for is just so candid about telling your family’s floor, because this is something that I struggle with , not with their own families, because they’re OK with it. We apparently only have no scruples whatsoever. But the other beings around me, I am surprised that sometimes I’ll check things on Facebook or I’ll get emails from mortal that I knew way back when. And they’ll be like, I examine this on the podcast or I read this in a blog that you wrote and I knew you were talking about me and I don’t like it. Take it down. Now, I don’t mention people’s calls. I remove identifying substance. But even though nobody could possibly figure out it was them from it, they knew it. And that was enough to really make them uneasy or anxious or irritable. How do you get around that with other tribes? Because with your family, hey, you’re a member of your family and you’ve made a decision. But what about like a friend or if you saw your mom interact with somebody else and you’re like, well, this is a story that’s worth disclose what my mama did to the store clerk, for example. And I’m just literally realizing stuff up because while you’re OK telling your mom’s story, are you OK telling the store clerk’s story and does it still have value? Is it only hey, these are paparazzi powers? It happened in public.
Rachel: I want to answer your question, but I have a question firstly for you. Did you be brought to an end taking it down?
Rachel: OK, good.
Gabe: No, I never did. No, of course not. And thank you for asking that follow up question. I didn’t take it down because hey one, I fixed assured that they couldn’t be identified. And plus, this is just life. And three, they did it. But moving all of that digression, where does that extremity? I intend, how much ret-conning of the past can I possibly do? How much revising and how much revisionist history? I intend, if I can start revising my past, I imply, I’m going to take aim at other things. Yeah, but I did was all right. I guess that is the part that I want to say. It did fix “i m feeling” disagreeable. This idea that I was drudging up unhappiness for this person, I chalked it up to collateral mar. But how reasonable is that?
Rachel: This all began when I was 40 years old, and it was twenty four years after my grandfather had died by suicide. My grandfather was a big real estate mogul in Manhattan and he had to, you are familiar with, the outside world, a perfect life. He had children. He had grandkids. He had money in the bank. He was traveling. He had his physical health to still golf and play tennis. And more he mounted out of his 14 th storey balcony, actually, and died by suicide. I was 16 at the time. Twenty four years later, when I turned 40, his third partner passed away and I was gave back into this high rise and I obtained his unfinished manuscript. “His fathers” died by suicide. His brother died by suicide and his wife. So that would be my maternal grandmother.
Rachel: My mom’s mom too died by suicide when my mom was just 14 and no one ever talked about it. I felt this manuscript and it blew me away, but it was incomplete. There was a lot that was never said, peculiarly, the really important things. There was a lot of business acumen and all of that talked about. But what I was really searching for was missing. It determined me on this journeying to become his ghostwriter. And I started finishing his storey and I recognise I had a story to tell. And I am still working on this doubled memoir that encompasses five contemporaries. But as I was writing it, I’m digging all this grime. I’m talking about my family like you cannot belief, right? Talk about opening up a can of worms. I’m talking about my uncles, my mama, my pa, my childhood, my life, things I did that wasn’t right. But if you want to be authentic, you have to tell the truth. And this is my truth. I terminated up writing this essay. Well, their own families on the East Coast got back to me and were very upset, very angry with me. How dare you talk about Grandpa or my papa that way? They were very, particularly concerned with me. Fortunately, Medium has it’s kind of like an RSS feed. You can change it and it modernizes. I was able to just say grandpa and get rid of the last name and that mollified them fairly. But that was an nasty feeling, knowing how disrupt my family was with me. And yet I totally stay where you are that essay to this day. I symbolize, if it’s my truth, it’s my truth.
Lisa: So how does it turn out with your family now, are they still upset about that or have they likewise come around?
Rachel: So, I’m an open journal, so is my mom, some of the other family members are not. I too just recently my cousin was upset about how I mentioned her dad. And yet I know deep in my spirit, I can sleep at night because it’s true. And that’s just kind of what I go on. I don’t know if all of them have come around. Maybe it’s selfish of me to say, but I’m OK if they haven’t.
Gabe: How do you feel about the concept of it’s true to you? I think about how I realise parties and, you know, Lisa and I have this constant struggle and this constant debate about how Lisa hears her parents and how I witness her mothers. Now, they’re not changing for me, for her. The difference is, is I knew her parents merely as young adults. And, you are familiar with, obviously they don’t like me very much. I divorced their daughter and there was a lot of turmoil. But in Lisa’s client, they fostered her. They birthed her. So when I say, well, you are familiar with, your mothers are planned and she’s like , no, they’re mean to you. So if I wrote.
Lisa: They’re appear patriotism to me.
Gabe: Right. So if I wrote an commodity called The True Story about Lisa’s Parents, I wouldn’t have to tell a single lie to represent them look bad. But the reality is, is it’s incomplete. Right? I’m only telling the things that they did to me that I don’t like. And I’m therefore and I’m making air repeats, guys, speaking my truth. Do you think that parties understand that? Do you think that when people read an clause or listen to a podcast by Rachel or by Gabe or by Lisa, they understand that that is that person’s take and that it’s certainly possible, and in fact likely, that somebody else has a completely different take?
Rachel: I affection this question so much, because I are of the view that that’s one of the things that writing learnt me that helped me in podcasting, is that you have to reach the person or persons you’re interviewing a round reputation. They can’t be flat. That if someone spoke my section, they would find sympathy for my grandpa. It has to show both directions. So, Gabe, if you’re writing an article about Lisa’s mothers, you need to include that component about how immense they raised their daughter. And otherwise, it’s not, again, that term genuine. It’s not genuine. So one of the things that writing really facilitated me do is look at my grandparents, look at my mommy, look at my brother, and not just see them as, oh, they just did this and they suck. It facilitates me look at the past. It facilitates me see how they were affected. My grandfather, his daddy was a narcissist. He given to understand that from him. His dad died by suicide. So looking at someone as a three dimensional reputation, determine compassion for them, understanding its own history, understanding from where they came is such a better fib. Like some of the most wonderful narrators, there’s a rogue, and yet you can find sympathy for them.
Gabe: Darth Vader, you’re describing Darth Vader,
Gabe: Right? I really this
Lisa: It was so sad when he died.
Gabe: He coerced parties for three movies, but then
Gabe: We assured him as this flawed character that got, I don’t know,
Gabe: Just. Well, I want, yeah, I guess it’s a recovery arc if we’re applying fiction paroles. I like what you said there, Rachel. You know, the reality is this is an advanced life skill. People can be two things. I was very much angry about the divorce. I was angry that I had caused more difficulties. And then, you know, here’s this. These other people, they’re coming in and they’re virtually shedding light on their truth, which is that I was a bad partner, so I didn’t like that. Then in reality, you are familiar with, I learned that, hey, they can be two things. They can both not be very nice to Gabe, which is, you are familiar with, they’re right, I guess. And
Lisa: Loyalty to me.
Gabe: Exactly. And of course, they can be outstanding mothers. That gave me my best friend and the status of women who saved my life. Well , now what do I do with that? And I are of the view that people struggle with this. And I think this is, to your point, Rachel, why these storeys are so important to get out there , not because of our versions of it, but because of the discussions that come up around them. See, right now, when it comes to, you are familiar with, bipolar disorder and mental illness, especially in families, it’s never been discussed. I actually think that it is a real bonus that the whole family is emailing you and calling you and telling you that you got it wrong, that you mess this up, that you’re making us look bad, because while that discussion may be aggressive or even irritable and unfriendly, it may well be the first discussion that any member of your family has had about these events in potentially their entire lives. And I are of the view that comes us to a good place.
Rachel: I entirely agree. The time “thats happened”, I studied this might be the first time they’re all discussing this tragic event kind of with open eyes. What you said about the two sides, I actually think sometimes there’s three line-ups. I think there’s your back, their side and the truth.
Gabe: I like that, I like that.
Rachel: And the second thing that I will point out, I think that is a huge saving grace is forgiveness. By seeing the true picture and being able to step back, you are able to look at your family members’ past and discovery forgiveness. And that is so healing do that weight off your shoulders. I has allowed us to forgive my mummy first for things that she did because I was able to understand that was her bipolar. My mom was able to forgive me for separating and propagandizing away from her because that was my coping mechanism. Having these conversations and being able to find that compassion leads to forgiveness. And I think if you can forgive, it’s your gift.
Lisa: We’ll be back in a minute after these messages.
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Lisa: And we’re back discussing the supremacy of personal tales with podcaster Rachel Steinman.
Gabe: Let’s talk about the next step in the evolution of open discussions or let.
Lisa: I have a question.
Gabe: I haven’t asked mine yet.
Lisa: So do you feel that this has been beneficial to your family?
Rachel: Absolutely by me kind of opening up the can of worms and forcing some discussions, like I said, my mama and I have never been closer. I was ready to kick my momma out of my life. She was just so spotty. And then formerly I started genuinely burrowing deep, that have contributed to me find that compassion and that comprehension. It was almost like I turn in new lenses and find clearly for the first time. And I’m talking about going back multiple contemporaries to my grandparents and to even their parents who I never knew, and realise how this generational trauma can get passed down, how if you don’t talk about it, it can fester. So, yes, I’m so glad that I gone on this tour. And if nothing else comes of this, which I don’t believe is true, it saved our relationship.
Gabe: I like what you said about seeing things clearly, but I still worry about how clearly alter is. And I again, I think about my own life and I have probably the most ridiculous precedent of this. Are you familiar with the Tv picture King of the Hill?
Rachel: Yes, I don’t watch it, but I’m familiar with it.
Gabe: Yeah, I adoration King of the Hill. I loved that when it was on, I watched every episode when it was brand new. Now, when it was on, I was you are familiar with, I was young. I was I think it premiered when I was like 17 years old. And, you know, it purposed probably when I was around twenty three, twenty four. And, you are familiar with , now with COVID and we can’t is everything, I decided to pop open Hulu and literally watch it from scratch. Now, for those who don’t know, you are familiar with, King of the Hill is about this conservative Texas family. This person, his call is Hank Hill. He sells propane and propane accessories. And he’s this real quiet chap who likes football. And his son, who’s 12, is identified Bobby Hill. Now, Bobby is the exact opposite and he talks a mile a minute. He’s a chubby boy. He detests athletics. And he’s just a eerie, funny little baby. And when I watch it the first time, I very much be attributed to Bobby Hill. Right. He’s just trying to be who he is and prepare his acces in the world and live his best life. I’m 43 years old now and I watch the exact same show again.
Gabe: It didn’t convert one iota. And I’m watching it. And I just completely be attributed to Hank Hill. You know, here’s this guy who’s trying to live his best life. He has a kid. He’s got this idea in his head of what being a father is. And he doesn’t know how to connect to his son, who’s exactly the opposite as him. And he’s just desperately doing his best. And nothing seems to be working. It’s the exact same show, Rachel. They didn’t change anything. The only thing that converted is I get twenty years older. I think this is why openly discussing our tales and talking about them and keeping them in, whether it’s the public consciousness or the family consciousness, is so important because as Lisa and I have discussed a million times, our mothers were foolish as bastard when we were kids. And then the instant we turned about 35, we recognized they only geniuses, that good-for-nothing changed
Lisa: So what you’re saying is then part of the benefit is that you’re able to reinterpret it with new attentions at a later time? I’m not quite sure what you’re saying, Gabe.
Gabe: I recall the benefit is that age provisions perspective. I is not possible to find things the room that my parents discovered things because I was not under the pressures that they were under the reasons that my mothers formed, the decisions they did when they were raising me is because, well, they had other children to think about. They had a mortgage, the government has positions, they had other responsibilities. Gabe had no understanding of that. I only thought that my father thought that I was weird and didn’t want to connect with me. And that’s why I liked the Bobby. Well, once I became older and I had my own struggles with overseeing duty and realise friends and connecting to the children in my life, I has recognized that, oh, hey, it’s not that my pa are of the view that I was a weird little girl that he didn’t like. It’s that my father only “d no idea” how to connect with me either. And that’s what I viewed in Hank Hill. We often talk about things right when they happen because it’s fresh and the crisis is right there. Can you believe mom did this? Can you believe Gabe said that? Can you believe this bad thing happened? And then we take the whole thing and we ball it up and whatever age and place we were in the world is the only way we ever “ve been thinking about” it for the rest of “peoples lives”. So, nonetheless, Rachel discovered her grandfather’s death at 16, becomes how she sees her grandfather’s death for the rest of her life. But by discussing it, by seeing that manuscript, by talking to other family members, you start to realize that there were things that 16 year old-fashioned Rachel didn’t know. Now, again, I’m speaking a lot for Rachel all of a sudden. What are your thoughts on that?
Rachel: So I interviewed the status of women listed Dani Shapiro, she is a New York Times best seller and she’s incredible and she’s a memoirist, which it abode with me. She talked about how when you write about trauma, you can’t write about it right after it happens. The only people that can do that really are poets. You need age and cavity to look at things. And I obviously agreed to accept that because if I has only just been thought about my grandpa the mode I did when I was 16 and didn’t understand why person would take their life, when I thought they had everything, then I would still be stuck in that place of, in a way, feeling like he was selfish. And now, of course, I don’t think of that at all. I understand how somebody could take “peoples lives”, that there’s so much pain that you wake up every morning, you feel like, what’s the point? And I never could have understood that at that age. Now, again, talking about how we reform with age and how there’s that knowledge as we grow older. I remember looking at my parents, more, and thinking like they’re[ beep ]. Sorry. That they’re nitwits.
Rachel: That they’re jackass because they don’t, they don’t know. And I never want to be anything like them. And now I have teenage daughters and they will say things to me that I really laugh at. Like you don’t know or you’ll never understand or things like that. And I know that in 15, 20 times, they’re going to change the behavior they look at things. But yes, there is something really amazing about looking at things after having more know-how. And I have to say being a parent obviously deepens things. I’ve talked about this. I was a kindergarten teacher straight out of college who used to adjudicate parents since they are didn’t have time to read to their children, or they would bribe their teenager with sugar. And I remember anticipating, I will never do that. And then trimmed to I have my own kids. And so and then I feel guilty for judging them. But I think that, yes, the importance of storytelling is to see different scenes from different senilities, too to talk about it. So, for example, my mama now has a label. We know she’s bipolar. Well, my girlfriends know she’s bipolar. She’ll grow up looking at things differently than she would have had we not been able to talk so openly about it.
Lisa: Ok. Uhm,
Gabe: Hold up, let me say thank you real quick.
Gabe: Thank you so much, Rachel, I actually appreciate that.
Rachel: Of course.
Lisa: Oh, I didn’t know that’s what you were going to do, OK? I thought you were going to say thank you for being now. I judged, why would you do that when I have a question. But I understand now, never mind.
Gabe: Rachel, I affection so much that you don’t have a co-host like that, that’s how you determined that up. You got to
Lisa: See how much her life is lacking. Poor thing, I feel so sad for you.
Gabe: No, her life is great. I’m just razz, Lisa
Rachel: Although, you guys definitely seem to have fun together, and I affection that, it’s impressive.
Gabe: I owe her a life debt, like I’m
Lisa: Like Chewbacca,
Gabe: I keep trying to get away from her, but I’m not allowed. I’m
Rachel: She draws you back in.
Gabe: I convey, that responsibility is kind of true.
Lisa: I try.
Gabe: In a method. We’re joking, right? But as you are familiar with, Lisa and I, we are divorced and that is unusual. They’re like, well, if you’re still friends and you like one another, why couldn’t you be married? As if as if
Lisa: We get that a lot.
Gabe: Marriage and friendship is are identical things. But in a manner that is, Lisa knows my whole story with mental illness. That shapes her inordinately priceless. I think it’s why people want to stay connected to their family so much better, because your family knows like your entire childhood, like that’s a lot of bonding. I I’m not trying to say that Lisa and I are only friends because she saved “peoples lives”. But I study Lisa and I might simply be friends because she saved “peoples lives”. That’s like an incredible thing to is attached to people. It’s hard to break. I entail, “shes been” likes Star Wars and that’s pretty bad ass. And we like the same diners. That’s
Lisa: No, we don’t,
Gabe: That’s true. We hate it.
Gabe: Us. Trying to pick a diner is
Lisa: No, we just go there because you’re too squeamish,
Gabe: You will merely eat at, like these weird restaurants that even Yelp won’t review.
Lisa: All everything you pick is so boring.
Gabe: And more popular.
Lisa: Any who
Rachel: I adore it, I adore it.
Lisa: Question for, a question for Rachel, question for the person or persons here. So you’ve talked about the importance of sharing your legend publicly on a on a large scale, on a podcast or online or in an article. What about do you feel there’s any value in maybe something on a smaller scale, like sharing with your coworkers or talking to the person standing next to you at McDonald’s?
Rachel: Absolutely, I necessitate, that’s probably the most powerful right face to face, one on one, that’s like a true-life acquaintance. And sharing your fib by being prone, by reform and opening up yourself, it lets other beings make their protectors down and open up to you. I say this all the time, but by showing how people can overcome obstacles, like I adore spotlighting people that have hit real low-spirited moments whether they were homeless or addicted to crack or whatever it is, and how they were able to ask for help, which feels weak but is actually the strongest, bravest thing you can do and then turn their life around. It’s so inspirational and all you need to hear is one story that can move you into action. So, yes, emphatically. I think that’s so strong that one on one connection.
Gabe: Lisa, I really liked your question and Rachel, I did like your answer. I are of the view that sometimes people believe that things merely work on a grand proportion. You know, if you can’t have a podcast like Rachel or a podcast like Gabe and Lisa or if you can’t have a huge following in a newspaper or. But that’s like so sad, right? I symbolize, could you imagine if Lisa would have seen something wrong with Gabe and instead of telling me her tale or discussing with me, she would have just let it go and written a blog like that that wouldn’t have found me where I was. I wasn’t searching out this information. So in that way, Lisa is one on one conversation was infinitely more valuable than even the most popular podcast, because I wouldn’t have searched for it. I wouldn’t have read it. I wouldn’t have listened connect it. I thought that was for other beings and not for me. And Lisa is one on one conversation with me connected to me where I was. I sincerely think in this age of, you are familiar with, how many likes do we have, how many admirers, how many hits parties forget that one on one conversations have just a tremendous amount of value, especially to the person that you’re having it with.
Rachel: You talking about the connecting one on one, it just made me to be considered a story about my husband, who is a entrepreneur, and he’s been in the business world since college and has had some success. And I’m just very proud of him. And person asked him who his instructor was and who he examined up to. And I would have come up with 10 other parties and he mentioned his mom’s friend, this human named Myron, who he’s had multiple the talks with humbly. And it truly kind of blew me apart that that this one person induced these communications and it was those the separate phone calls. And it just goes to show how reaching out and having those dialogues one on one is so powerful. And I sometimes get private senses from beings. And I “re saying”, appear, I is no longer a therapist. I just have lived experience, but by me connecting one on one with them privately and constructing them definitely sounds like I do be concerned about them and that they are important and that they can find help has been so impactful for me.
Gabe: My sincere question is it actually seems like every single person who has a mental illness or knows someone with a mental illness immediately thinks that they need to start a podcast, write a memoir or a blog. And I don’t want to stop anybody from following their dreams or putting their knowledge out there. I’m just wondering if some of those people are doing it out of obligation or because they think that’s the only way and are missing out on other methods for them to share. One of the patterns that comes to mind is, is somebody hosting a podcast right now that would much preferably contribute a patronage radical. And instead of preceding the reinforcement group, they believe that they have to reach more people. And therefore, even though they’d be an incredible support group facilitator, they’re sitting behind a microphone and editing software bleak because after all, they’re accomplish more people.
Rachel: There’s probably countless podcasts dealing with here mental wellness, I will say the fact that Lady Gaga and it’s every celebrity now is talking about their anxiety or time look at Tic Tok and the boys. I entail, it’s almost like
Gabe: It’s very popular,
Rachel: Cool to talk about
Rachel: That, what you’re dealing with and struggling with, which, by the way, is fantastic that our babies are talking about it. But does everyone need to be have a podcast? No, probably not. And that was partly why I wanted to make sure that my stage highlighted other people’s floors, because it is important to get stories out there. But, yes, I thoroughly agree with you. I think that there are other pulpits that people can share their stories without having to start a podcast. And yeah, utterly. We is necessary in order more support groups and we is necessary in order more probably like healers, peculiarly people of color. We need more artistic sense discipline. And I is contributing to that for certain if you are considering getting in the field and wanting to help.
Lisa: Well, Rachel, thank you for coming in for being here today, where can our listeners find you
Gabe: It’s an magnificent podcast I most recommend it, and I hope you will check it out on your favorite podcast musician or leader over to WriteNowRachel.com. And remember it’s write. Like you’re writing.
Rachel: Exactly, and I’m so excited because I’m having Gabe as a patron on my podcast coming up very soon, and we’re going to talk all about him and his family.
Gabe: Turnabout is always fair play. Rachel, thank you for coming in for being here and listeners, stay
Lisa: Yes, thank you.
Gabe: Tuned, because now we’re going to talk behind Rachel’s back.
Rachel: Awesome, I can’t wait to hear it, this later.
Gabe: Of trend, again, you can always tune in.
Gabe: In. I don’t. It’s like our favorite joke. You know, we’re going to talk about your behind your back. It’s
Lisa: It’s not our favorite joke.
Gabe: It’s my favorite joke.
Lisa: Why is Rachel interviewing you on the register and not me?
Lisa: Aren’t we a container transaction?
Gabe: No , no , no, we’re divorced.
Gabe: The carton bargain part of the Gabe and Lisa relationship has long since terminated by rule of law. Could you imagine this poor woman? Like she already depleted a couple of hours in the studio with us to do this interview, and then we
Lisa: She did.
Gabe: Show up again on her demonstrate? For, for real?
Lisa: Ok, there’s a pitch. She was very patient with us,
Gabe: Do we scorn parties
Lisa: Very good boast,
Gabe: That much?
Lisa: Not her specifically
Gabe: I’m the Star.
Lisa: You are. You’re the Star.
Gabe: Hey, Lisa, we went back and forth a lot when we were designing our show about the personal narrations, and I is a well-known fact that I felt a little sanctimonious not letting the personal tales on it, because that’s literally my occupation. I share my story for a living. It’s, that’s my keynote address. It’s literally called This Bipolar Life. And it’s about my life living with bipolar disorder. So I felt a skosh specious. But at the same time, we gazed around there are still only wasn’t any shows where people were just tackling life or those matters through the lens of people living with mental illness. I exactly want parties with mental health issues and mental illness to tell people what they want, propose for it and fight for it and not be ambiguous. I think that has just as much value as sharing our stories.
Lisa: Of trend it does, but why does it have to be one or the other? The whole extent is we are able to have two approachings to this problem.
Gabe: This is the most fascinating thing that we deal with on this substantiate, where people hear that you advocate for one thing and they immediately believe that you are against something else, could you imagine this playing out in the real world? Gabe, what do you want for dinner? Pizza. Oh, you hate spaghetti? You anti-spaghetti? You marching against spaghetti? No, I. I just wanted pizza. I’m not apply any thought to these interesting thing , nor am I trying to push them down or not pay attention to them. And when appropriate, I like spaghetti. I like spaghetti a lot.
Lisa: You just want to make clear that only because this is not something we’re concentrates on here; we don’t have anything against it and we are supportive others focusing upon it.
Gabe: Yeah, we likewise don’t talk about Marvel movies, which I’m preoccupied with, but it’s not the opening for it.
Lisa: Gabe, your point is that promoting one opinion or one approach does not mean that you’re bashing another one.
Gabe: That’s exactly what I’m trying to say. We coulda saved the whole hour.
Gabe: This picture have had an opportunity to 10 minutes.
Gabe: Hey, you’re listening to the Not Crazy podcast. This is Gabe. I’m here with Lisa. Lisa pays a quote. Hey, just because we promote one notion does not mean we’re bash another. There’s chamber for multiple pathways to recovery. We need to be open to things. Yay! All right. Hey, everybody, thank you for listening to The Psych Central Podcast. Shit.
Lisa: That would be a very odd show for us to have.
Gabe: This is what happens when your multitude more than one register, but sincerely, sincerely, all I want people to know is that personal storeys have incredible value, as Rachael supported better than we ever could. The ability of getting in contact with your past, of sharing it with like-minded parties, of, she didn’t use these exact names, but of conclusion your tribe, of making amends with family members. Like this is what honestly discussing our legends can do. And it was sad, Lisa, when we got the emails where people were saying, oh, so you’re saying that these floors have no advocacy benefit or that these legends are not a good doctrine, that you don’t encourage people to promote their legends? I was very bummed that parties went that send. The actuality, Lisa, is we need them both. Remember when I testified in front of the General Assembly and
Lisa: Mm hmm.
Gabe: Here are all these senators, and if I return them a reality, their sees interpreted over, if I told them about something bad that happened to me because of these constitutions or shortage of resources, then all of a sudden, their eyes wide like, oh, my, how could this happen to a person? And you and I learned very quickly that the matrimony of knowledge and personal narrative, the personal story grounds it, the facts of the case pays them an record item of something to fix. So I am mesmerized by this idea that the two things would ever be at odds leaved how intrinsically connected in my knowledge “they il be”. Detail are important, saying what we want is valuable, proposing for ourselves is valuable. But the above reasons we do it is always connected to, frankly, something bad, harrowing, or sickening that happened to us in the past that we want to ensure doesn’t happen to anybody else ever again. And I think that’s worth discussing.
Lisa: Well, the personal is political.
Gabe: Exactly, I only don’t think it’s worth discussing on the support , not in a bad way.
Gabe: Thank you, everybody, for listening to this week’s Not Crazy podcast. Wherever you downloaded the appearance, satisfy agree. Too rate it, rank it, evaluation it use actual letters to form utterances to tell people why they should listen as well. I am Gabe Howard. I am the author of Mental Illness Is an Asshole and Other Observations. You can, of course, get it on Amazon, but if you go to gabehoward.com right now and buy the book, I will sign it and I will give you a whole knot of Not Crazy podcast stickers completely free. Don’t believe me? Lisa will harbour me to it.
Lisa: Lisa will actually be mailing the books, so no worries, there’ll be stickers in there.
Gabe: Stick around for the outtake at the end of the credits, and we’ll see you next Tuesday.
Announcer: You’ve been listening to the Not Crazy Podcast from Psych Central. For free mental health resources and online support groups, see PsychCentral.com. Not Crazy’s official website is PsychCentral.com/ NotCrazy. To work with Gabe, go to gabehoward.com. Want to see Gabe and me in person? Not Crazy hurtles well. Have us record an occurrence live at your next contest. E-mail show @psychcentral. com for details.
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