I have been called many things for this list. A monster. A war criminal. Emotionally stunted. Cursed. A few of those things may be true, but the fact remains that I would eat a Fidough after it had been fried up like a funnel cake and dusted in powdered sugar. I do not regret my decision, but I do regret telling my editor, who has asked me to record my criminal acts to the blogosphere for posterity.